Essay on the Sociology Self-help

Chapter I - Introduction - Anxiety and Uncomfortable Situations

There are times and there are some situations that make us uncomfortable. We hesitate and we are unable to act how we want to act. In fact, we can feel our heart rate increasing and sweat in our palms. Why is that? Even though these are not life threatening situations then we do we experience such a reaction?

It is because we do not want others to watch us, listen to us, or judge us. Why do others even do it? Why do they don’t do their own business?

If you often have these questions, you do not like being around others. In fact, you would rather spend time home than go out and be judged but why is that?

Discomfort: Discomfort is quite a common reaction when being exposed to new people or unfamiliar situations. When you are uncomfortable, you might have feelings of awkwardness and apprehension when you are around. In fact, you will often find it uncomfortable when you are supposed to talk to people.

When your discomfort becomes deliberating and has an adverse influence on your life choices and life, you might be suffering from a type of anxiety, referred to as social anxiety. If you find it difficult to be involved in social situations, or situations in which you will have to interact with others, information provided in this book will help you.

What is Social Anxiety?

Actually, social anxiety is the fear of being negative perceived and evaluated by other people. People suffering from social anxiety tend to worry that they will humiliate or embarrass themselves. Moreover, they worry about being judged by others for showing physical signs and gestures of anxiety such as sweating, shaking, and blushing.

Consequently, people with social anxiety evade situations or social situations where they may be negatively perceived by others such as public speaking, group conversations, parties, job interviews, or even being in a room filled with people. Severe and generalised social anxiety is capable of leading to complete isolation.

Chapter II – Commonly Feared Situations

There are a number of situations that are feared by individuals with social anxiety. Some of these situations include:

Talking to Others: One of the most common situations that can evoke fear in people with social anxiety is talking to others. Sometimes it seems very difficult to talk to others because we do not know how they might see us and how they might think about us. Thus, in such a situation, you might feel yourself becoming nervous, sweating, and even stuttering.

Talking in front of People: Yet another common situation that makes people nervous and fell anxious is to address people. It becomes quite difficult to stand in front of others and talk about anything. People are always gazing and they have different emotions ranging through their eyes. In fact, their ridiculing expressions are what makes it difficult to talk in front of them.

Going to Parties: Going to parties is particularly difficult. A person might think: What if I am looking funny? What if I am not dressed nicely? People might laugh at me, should I go or not?

Actually, these are some questions that might swim in your head as well. This makes it difficult to go to a party and interact with others.

Saying ‘No’

One of the most commonly feared and uncomfortable situations when someone requests something. For instance, a classmate or a colleague might ask you to do some work for him. He has an expectant look on his face and you fear that this expression might change to disgust or even anger if you refuse. Thus, you are unable to communicate freely and end up doing the work as well.

There is a common idea in all of these situations. In all of these situation, people with social anxiety fear that they might not meet the standards of others and they might be ridiculed by others. They might become a source of amusement for someone and this stops them from interacting with others or attending social gatherings.

At the root of it, there is fear. Fear of not being good enough and fear of being judged.

Chapter III – Dealing with Social Anxiety and Taking Small Steps

Although you might think that you cannot just interact with people and you were born this way, it is not true. In fact, there are a number of tips that you can consider to overcome social anxiety.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

It is true that some situations might discourage you and you might believe there is nothing you can do about it, there are a number of things you can do and they can help you. The very first step is concerned with challenging your mentality.

People with social anxiety have negative beliefs and thoughts and ideas that contribute to their anxiety and fears. Challenging these negative thoughts is more than just a little important when it comes to beating social anxiety. It is not possible for you to beat it if you will not stop having negative thoughts and ideas.

Focus Not on Yourself but on Others

Usually, when we are in a social situation that seems to make us anxious and nervous, many of us are caught up in our anxious feelings and thoughts. You might be convinced that everyone is judging you and looking at you. In fact, your focus is on your sensations and you hope that it might help you control them better. However, this type of self-focus only serves to make you more aware of how nervous you are in the situation. It prevents you from concentrating on what others are talking about as well.

Switching to external focus from internal focus can seemingly go a long way towards preventing and reducing your social anxiety. The more you concentrate on what others are doing and what is happening around you, the less it will affect you and the less you will be influenced by anxiety.

Control your Breathing

When you are anxious, there are a number of things that happen to you. For instance, an initial change is that you start breathing quickly. Hyperventilation or over-breathing throws off the balance between carbon dioxide and oxygen in your body and it leads to more physical symptoms such as muscle tensions, increased heart rate, a feeling of suffocation, and dizziness.

When you learn how to slow your breathing, it can help you significantly in bringing your physical symptoms of anxiety under control.

Face your Fears: In your path to overcoming social anxiety, one of the most important and helpful things that you can do is to face social situations instead of avoiding them. If you keep running away from them, you might never be able to interact with people. Avoiding social interactions might help you in short-term and you might even feel happy, it will not help you in the long-term at all. Although it might seem impossible to face your fears, you can always begin with small steps.

For instance, if you think that you cannot socialise, you should make a friend and accompany him on parties or just anywhere. In fact, you can just hang out to have fun and that would be sufficient enough.

Develop a Hobby: You should busy yourself in what you prefer. For instance, if you are interested in playing basketball, you should do that and if you are interested in drawing, you should do that. The idea is to let yourself be easy and comfortable with yourself, rather than being tense all the time. It will also help you in overcoming social anxiety.

Chapter IV – Modern Society

In this modern society, people often judge others on the basis of what they wear or how they appear. For instance, people tend to perceive a person with an expensive bag in a more positive light than a person who has a simple bag. Such behaviour is developed by both internal and external factors. Actually, people desire such products for themselves and they respect those who possess them.

Body Language: Actually, body language of a person can easily portray what he feels about a specific thing. For instance, people suffering from social anxiety are able to understand when people ridicule them. It is actually in their eyes and they have this amused smile that indicates, they are amused and they are judging.

The real question is: why does it even matter? Why does it matter that someone among a billion other people thinks that you are too fat, too small, or too tall?

It is true that modern society emphases significantly on money and unless you have it, you have no special place or significance. You can take examples from social media. But then again, why is it important?

Rule: Opinions of others about you should never be considered important. What matters is your own opinion about yourself.

There are times when we are not motivated and it causes us to lose the track of our time. It can make us think about why we are not good enough. Even in such times, you need to stand firm.

You need to believe that you can do it and what others think or say, it is not important.