A billion wicked thoughts pdf

BOOK REVIEW - A BILLION WICKED THOUGHTS Men and women perspective has changed in the last generations. Even though sexuality has been

looked as a forbidden for centuries, the last generations have changed that point of view in many

cultures. Some people were taught to not express any feeling about sex as just sex. However,

society seems to convey more their emotions about sexuality than ever before. Now a day, the

more educated and experimented a person is the better understanding about sexuality is.

Intercourse is a natural and healthy emotion, and it is part of an emotional fulfillment. For men,

sex has always been the main initiator of sexual action. However, times have changed. Women

have many feelings about sexual intimacy. Reading 2 Rubin explains some of these aspects;

which are: oral sex, positions, casual sex, gay interaction and many more.

In today’s society the use of the internet has become somewhat of a norm. It has been found that

about almost 90% of adolescents aged between the years of 12 to18 have access to the internet

(Authentic Human Sexuality). Also the vast majority, about 87% of youth who report looking for

sexual images online are 14 years of age or older (Internet Solutions). We have a growing

problem in our culture and it is just going to get worse if corrective steps aren’t taken. Because

of being exposed to internet pornography at such a young age, the impact of it on adolescents is

dire. Some of the effects that internet pornography is having on teens are that of, committing acts

of sexual violence, becoming addicted to sex and porn, a changing in values and attitudes, and

having problems with self-identity. And these are not just all of the effects on adolescents, but

are just a few of the hot topics. As a whole society we need to take action and help our

adolescents from being taken over and controlled by this epidemic, it is up to us to rise up and

make a change.

Due to such a high exposure of pornography sexual crimes are on the rise. It has been

proven that the internet has become a useful and crafty tool for sexual predators to seek out

victims in chat rooms, engage in highly sexual conversations with adolescents, and to seek and

distribute child pornography. The more those adolescents are exposed to such inappropriate

content the higher the risk of them acting out their fantasies, which include sexual assault and

rape in the future. It has been found in a study that children, under the age of 14, who are

exposed to pornography, have a greater chance of being involved in deviant behavior and sexual

practices such as rape. In this study around one third of child molesters and rapists that were

interviewed claimed that they had been occasionally incited to commit an offence due to their

exposure of pornography (Pornography Harms Children). According to James Dobson, a

psychologist, when children start using porn at a young age they grow up to wanting more types

of porn as if climbing a latter, trying to get to higher levels of porn, but what happens when the

latter stops and you can’t go any higher? Well according to Dobson that is when porn addicts

take the next step, the step to becoming sexual predators, a step toward sexual violence.

According to Dobson this is what happened to Ted Bundy, an infamous serial killer. Dobson was

actually asked by Bundy to come and interview him in his last moments before he was executed.

Bundy wanted to share his story and let the world know about the effects of pornography and the

power it can hold over people. Dobson talks to Bundy about the point in his life when printed

pornography and viral pornography were just not enough. Bundy goes on to tell Dobson that,

“It’s a very difficult thing to describe - the sensation of reaching that point where I knew I

couldn’t control it anymore. The barriers I had learned as a child were not enough to hold me

back from seeking out and harming somebody.” He had reached the top of his latter and the only

way to feed his addiction was to go out an actually harm someone. Bundy does say that he is not

blaming pornography for his crimes but that pornography was a great influencer and shaped him

to become the monster that he was today. Ted Bundy wanted to warn society of the dangers of

hard core pornography and to explain how it had led him to kill many innocent girls (Fatal

Addiction). Not only does pornography lead people to commit sexual acts of violence but it also

as other effects maybe some not as sever but can always turn into something more dangers. One

effect that pornography can have on adolescents that can lead to sexual violence is that of

addiction.

Pornography like many other things can become an addiction, but it can also lead to other

types of addiction such as sexual addiction/illness. As more and more of teens are exposed to not

only soft-core porn but more explicit kind they are becoming more and more desensitized and

learning that sex without responsibility is okay (Pornography Harms Children). Porn for some

people is just like a drug, they need to get their daily fix. Research does not support the theory

that children can get addicted to porn at a young age, but that it can lead to an addiction as an

adult and well as other sexual addictions. Porn addiction is like any other addiction such as a

drug. Porn addicts tend to replace relationships with family and friends with internet

pornography or sex. Pornography addicts tend to try and isolate themselves when engaging in or

viewing porn. While some porn addicts use masturbation as a part of acting out their addiction,

some use sex very minimally but nonetheless they still end up losing themselves to the sexual

images found online. Like any other addiction though there are ways to come clean and break

yourself free of the bonds of your addiction. The first thing to getting better is being honest and

asking for help. Yes owning up to any addiction is embarrassing and shameful, but to overcome

the addiction you have to get past those feelings and move forward (Sexual Recovery Institute).

Pornography addiction can be very dangerous. It may not seem like such a big deal, but it can

easily develop into something more serious, something more dangerous. Ted Bundy was a porn

addict and look where it got him. Internet pornography is like a gateway drug, it is the gateway

to sexual crimes. It affects not only the person viewing it, but the people around them. It can turn

people into something that they are not.

Porn like any other type of drug can alter a person. It can turn into an addiction that alters

a person’s attitudes and values. Most parents want what is best for their children and at a young

age they try to instill the right kind of values and morals to have. I know as a child, my parents

always told me that respecting people and having strong important relationships where important

in having a good, healthy life. Also as a young age I learned about sex and how it needs to be

shared with someone I truly love, my husband. My parents taught me that sex outside of

marriage was frowned upon by God and that He created this act of love to be only shared in the

bonds of marriage. Due to the affects of porn that line of sanctity has been removed and people’s

views of sex have become more recreational. Internet pornography has become a very powerful

tool of sex education and it has lead many adolescents to believe that love without affection is

okay, it is the norm. Not only does pornography shape adolescents views about sex but also the

views that men have on women. Replicated studies have demonstrated that exposure to

significant amounts of increasingly graphic forms of pornography has a dramatic effect on how

adult consumers view women, sexual abuse, sexual relationships, and sex in general

(Pornography Harms Children). Also the viewing of pornography can lead to attitudes of

aggressive sexual behavior. According to a study done by Malamuth about the effects of

pornography on college males, the report showed that 41% might rape a girl if they knew they

would not get caught. Malamuth continues to go on and conclude that the aggressive content of

pornography is a major factor to aggression towards women and also that it makes a significant

impact in reinforcing a cultural climate that accepts and promotes sexual aggression towards

women (Authentic Human Sexuality).

Pornography not only can impact a child’s values and attitudes, but it can also impact a

child’s identity. It has been seen that with some children you regularly view pornography that

they struggle with self identity. During a certain point in a child’s life their brain so to speak

begins to “hardwire” its self and set patterns and norms. During this “hardwiring” stage a child

begins to develop a keen sense to what they are attracted to, what arouses them. Exposure to

healthy sexual norms and attitudes during this critical period can result in the child developing a

healthy sexual orientation. In contrast, if there is exposure to pornography during this period,

sexual deviance may become imprinted on the child's "hard drive" and become a permanent part

of his or her sexual orientation. Sexual identity is something that develops overtime through

childhood and adolescents. As children grow up they are very much in danger of being

influenced by pornography which can affect their development. For children sex and information

from sex generally come from homes and places of education and are presumably age

appropriate and tend to gradually accelerate depending on the child’s age and what the parents

and educators thinks best. But when pornography enters the picture, it changes the whole scene.

Pornography short-circuits and/or distorts the normal personality development process and

supplies misinformation about a child's sexuality, sense of self, and body that leaves the child

confused, changed, and damaged. Pornography tends to prematurely introduce adolescents to

sexually sensations that they are just not ready for and unprepared for. This overwhelming sexual

sensation can leave an adolescent feeling over stimulated and confused. Sexual excitement and

release can condition a adolescent to only be aroused by pornography or leave them with very

bad habits. For example, if a young boy at a very young age gets sexually stimulated and aroused

by pornography then he can be conditioned to only get aroused by such material. Once this pair

of pornography and sexual arousal is rewarded then it is more than likely to become permanent.

The result of this leaves this child in a place where he can only get sexually stimulated from

pornographic images (Pornography Harms Children). With pornography being so accessible now

on the internet it makes situations like this more feasible. Our adolescents are very much in

danger of having their sexual development haltered and put down the wrong path. We all know

talking to our kids about sex and especially pornography is really tough, but with all the negative

and dangerous effects pornography has on adolescents, I think it is time for parents to step up

and take control, not for their sake but for their child’s future well being.

Like I mentioned earlier pornography is so easily accessible, it is so accessible that kids

don’t even know sometimes when the accidently stumble upon it. I mean if you even type in the

wrong phrase on your search engine there is a good chance that you can find some pornographic

sites. Our adolescents are being flooded with temptation from movies, to music, to television.

Parents need to take more control and try to stop pornography from infiltrating their children’s

lives. Some things that parents can do to stop or try and stop pornography from affecting their

kids is to, for one set up the computed in a busy place in the home. Make sure that there is

always at least someone else in the room at all times when a kid is on the internet. It is proven

that generally people look at pornography on the internet when they are alone and feel like no

one is around. Also use kid friendly search engines. Like I mentioned earlier depending on what

search engine you use, sometimes you can accidently stumble upon pornography. If you do

choose to use a more adult search engine, like Google instances, make sure to use the filtering

options available. Another important thing to do is to block all pop-ups. It is very common that

many pornographic sites use pop-ups to get people’s attention. Also, it never hurts to just talk to

your kids. Be open with them so they feel they can be open with you. Adolescents are being

exposed daily to sexual images so you need to establish an open and honest dialogue with them

so they will come to you with their questions. Lastly make sure to never overreact. Kids

accidently stumble upon pornography all the time. Just be calm, cool, and collective. You want

your kids to feel comfortable turning to you for help and advice when these incidents happen

(Web Aware).

It is not hard to see that pornography is ever where. It is hard to flip through a magazine

and not see anything that might be too sexually explicit. Adolescents are living in a world that is

very sexually driven, and because of this adolescents are losing a sense of good values and

attitudes. Pornography has flooded the internet and is seeping into the homes of America.

Adolescents are learning that sex is okay without affection, that it is good to have more than one

sexual partner, the more the better actually. Pornography can not only lead to an addiction but

also it can lead to an unnaturally sex drive. There are so many cases in the head lines that have to

do with sexually addiction, many celebrities own up to this so called addiction. Well where do

you think these addictions stemmed from? The answer is easy, pornography. Pornography can

teach a person that sex all the time is good, that it is acceptable, well it’s not. Not only can

pornography lead to sexually addictions but it can lead to violence. Ted Bundy was a porn

addict. He needed more and harder porn. His addiction got so bad that his normal means of

feeding his addiction was not enough; he needed another type of release, that release was

murder. Ted Bundy even admits that his addiction to pornography helped shape him into the

monster that he had become. The time to act is now. The adolescents of our world are in danger;

they are in danger of being psychologically damaged. If the parents of this generation don’t step

up and act now then our kids is in real danger, they are in danger of not knowing the love and

grace that God bestowed upon us. They will not understand the meaning the God placed upon

our sexually adventures. The time is now!

References

1. Balswick, K. Judith., Balswick, O. Jack. Authentic Human Sexuality: An Integrated Christian Approach. 2nd Ed.

InterVarsity Press, 2008.

2. Ybarra, M.L., Mitchell, K. “Exposure to internet pornography among children and adolescents: A national

survey”. 2005. http://www.is4k.com/publications/adolescent-internet-use-and-health/pornography/exposure-to-

internet-pornography-among-children-and-adolescents-a-national-survey/. 19 Apr 2010.

3. Hughes, R. Donna. “How Pornography Harms Children.” Revel, September 1998.

http://www.protectkids.com/effects/harms.htm. 18 Apr 2010.

4. Dobson, James. “Fatal Addiction: Ted Bundy's Final Interview.” Nashville, Ten. World Publications, 1995.

http://www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000433.cfm. 18 Apr 2010.

5. Sexual Recovery Institute. “About pornography addiction.” 1997-2010.

http://www.sexualrecovery.com/pornography-addiction.php. 19 Apr 2010.

6. Web Aware. “Exposure to Pornography.” Media Awareness Network, 2010.

http://www.bewebaware.ca/english/pornography.html. 19 Apr 2010.