Difference matters communicating social identity 2nd edition pdf

Select 4 questions to answer from 8 questions. Your answer must based on Allen's book. 200 words for each answer.

1. Describe a time when you were in a homogeneous social identity group (with people of the same category as yourself), and you had a conversation about people in a different identity group. (Examples: a group of women talking about men or vice versa; a group of heterosexuals talking about gay people; etc.) Explain the circumstances and describe your feelings at the time. Looking back on it, how do you feel about it now?

(Based on Chapter 1, p. 21, question 11)

2. Select one of the dominant ideologies listed below, and explain how you have had personal experience with this ideology and its effects, or else when you have witnessed the effects of this ideology on someone else (e.g., someone in your real world, not a fictional media character).

a) Patriarchy – The belief that (male) men are superior to all women

b) White supremacy – The belief that the “White” race is superior over all others

c) Culture of poverty – The idea that the poor have in-born traits (innate inferiorities) that keep them poor

d) Heteronormativity – The belief that heterosexuality is the only normal sexual orientation

(Based on Chapter 2, p. 39, question #11)

3. Do you think that women and men communicate differently? If so, why? What are some examples of this? Do these differences vary when gender intersects with other social identities such as race, ethnicity, or age?

(Based on Chapter 3, p. 63, question 8)

4. Do you identify with a race or ethnicity that is not a part of your family history (i.e., as far as you know, you have no relatives or ancestors belonging to that race or ethnicity)? Where do you believe this identification comes from? Has your expression of this identification ever annoyed or offended any family members, or anyone else?

(Adapted from Chapter 4, p. 91, question 5)

5. Have you ever “passed” as a member of a social class different than your own? For example, if you come from a low-income background, have you ever made an effort to be perceived as wealthy? Or if you come from wealth, have you ever made an effort to be perceived as low-income or middle class? What was your motivation for doing this? Did you succeed? Why or why not?

(Adapted from Chapter 5, p. 113, question 14)

6. Do you think that workplaces should have policies regarding romantic relationships among employees? If you think the use of such a policy should depend on the type of workplace, explain how you think dating policies should be different at different types of workplaces.

(Adapted from Chapter 6, p. 135, question 7)

7. What do you think of the disability activist perspective that “disability is simply a normal variation of human diversity”? Related to this, how do you feel about the Deaf community’s belief that they represent a linguistic minority?

(From Chapter 7, p. 159, question 5)

8. Have you ever worked with someone from a different age group than yours? What were the positives and negatives of that experience? Did the other person have expectations of you that were based on the norms of his/her own birth cohort? Do you think you had expectations of the other person based on the norms of your birth cohort?

(Adapted from Chapter 8, p. 181, question 9)

Difference Matters

Second Edition

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Difference Matters

COMMUNICATING SOCIAL IDENTITY

Second Edition

Brenda J. Allen University of Colorado at Denver

WAVELAND

PRESS, INC. Long Grove, Illinois

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For information about this book, contact: Waveland Press, Inc. 4180 IL Route 83, Suite 101 Long Grove, IL 60047-9580 (847) 634-0081 info@waveland.com www.waveland.com

Copyright © 2011, 2004 by Waveland Press, Inc.

10-digit ISBN 1-57766-673-9 13-digit ISBN 978-1-57766-673-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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• • • • • • • • • • • • • To my students,

who are also my teachers

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

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• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Contents

Preface xi

1 Difference and Other Important Matters 1 Difference Matters 4

Why Difference Matters 5 Obstacles to Valuing Difference 6

Communicating Social Identity 10 Communicating 10 Social Identity 11

About Me 16 Overview of the Book 18 Reflection Matters 20

2 Power Matters 23 Conceptions of Power 24

Power and Knowledge 27 Rules of Right 27

Control in Organizations 28 Concertive Control 29 Hegemony 30 Ideology 32

Communicating Power 35 Language 35 Everyday Talk 35 Physical Appearance 36

Conclusion 37 Reflection Matters 38

3 Gender Matters 41 What Is Gender? 42 Why Gender Matters 43

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viii Contents

Constructing Gender in the United States 43 Historical Overview of Ideological Perspectives 43 Challenging Traditional Messages 45

Gender and Divisions of Labor 47 The Role of Education 50 Power Dynamics and Gender 52

Language 52 Communication Differences 54

Communicating Gender in Organizations 56 Emotion(al) Labor 59 Transgender Issues 60

Conclusion 61 Reflection Matters 62

4 Race Matters 65 What Is Race? 66 Why Race Matters 67 Constructing Race in the United States 70 Race and Labor 78 Communicating Race 83

Everyday Interactions 83 Personnel Procedures 87

Conclusion 90 Reflection Matters 91

5 Social Class Matters 93 What Is Social Class? 95 Why Social Class Matters 98 Constructing Social Class in the United States 100

The Myth of a Classless Society 102 Social Class and Labor 103

Communicating Social Class 105 Educational Settings 105 Communicating Class at Work 108

Conclusion 111 Reflection Matters 112

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Contents ix

6 Sexuality Matters 115 What Is Sexuality and Why Does It Matter? 116 Constructing Sexuality in the United States 118

Colonial Views on Sexuality 118 Victorian Era–Early 1900s 119 Sexual Revolutions 120 Concepts of Homosexuality 122 Sexual Orientation 124

Acquiring Information about Sexuality 128 Communicating Sexuality in Organizations 128

Expressing Sexuality at Work 129 Romantic Relationships 131 Sexual Harassment 132

Conclusion 133 Reflection Matters 134

7 Ability Matters 137 Why Ability Matters 138 What Is Disability? 141 Constructing Disability in the United States 142

Industrial Revolution 143 Eugenics 144 Medical Model of Disability 145 Social Model of Disability 146 Disability Movements 146

Communicating Ability 149 Interability Interactions at Work 156 Promising Practices 157 Conclusion 158 Reflection Matters 159

8 Age Matters 161 What Is Age? 162 Why Age Matters 163 Constructing Age in the United States 166

Concepts and Attitudes about Old Age 166 Concepts and Attitudes about Children 167 Birth Cohorts 169 Does Aging Mean Decline? 170

Communicating Age 171 Intergenerational Communication 171

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Communicating Age in Organizations 176 Hierarchies and Age Roles 176 Age Discrimination 177 Positive Aspects of Intergenerational Mixing 178

Conclusion 179 Reflection Matters 180

9 Communicating Social Identity 183 Difference Matters 183 Social Identities Are Social Constructions 184 Power Matters 184 Communication Rules! 185 Recommendations 185

Be Mindful 186 Be Proactive 189 Fill Your Communication Toolbox 194

Conclusion 197 Reflection Matters 197

Chapter Endnotes 199 Index 223

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• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Preface

Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity describes and analyzes six categories of social identity that currently matter in the United States: gender, race, social class, ability, sexuality, and age. I explain how and why differ- ences within and between those categories matter. Throughout the book, I stress how communication helps constitute social identity, and I explore rela- tionships between social identity, discourse, and power dynamics. To illus- trate impacts of social identity issues, I offer overviews of historical developments. I also focus on various contexts, with an emphasis on organi- zations because they are prime sites of social identity construction.

Difference Matters is appropriate for communication courses or training programs that cover any or all of the six social identity categories that I explore, and for any curricula that delve into topics such as diversity, multicul- turalism, and intercultural communication. Because I highlight how humans enact difference within organizations, the book is especially appropriate for organizational communication courses at undergraduate and graduate levels. However, many other disciplines also can benefit from perspectives on com- municating difference, including business administration, human resources management, organizational behavior, education, sociology, ethnic studies, gender studies, media studies, disability studies, industrial psychology, health behavioral sciences, political science, and social psychology.

While developing this text, I considered my experiences with students who struggled with learning about theories, and who wanted to cut to the chase to learn information and skills for their everyday lives. I also remem- bered that students tend to prefer texts that are comprehensive, but easy to understand, and that make connections to the real world. This book honors those concerns while also covering theoretical perspectives that matter to most instructors. I employ an interactive style and share stories from my life to clar- ify some of my points. I hope that the content and approach of this book meet the needs of students and instructors alike. To assist instructors and enhance students’ learning, I have developed a Web site that contains ideas and resources for teaching difference matters: http://www.differencematters.info.

For this second edition of Difference Matters, I have updated statistics, incorporated recent research, and cited more examples of intersections of

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xii Preface

social identities. I also have provided new spotlights on media. In addition, I include tools throughout the text to help you to apply what you’re learning.

Acknowledgments This project was underway for several years, well before I realized that I

should write a book on difference matters. During that time, many people offered invaluable inspiration, guidance, and support. Although I never can adequately express my gratitude, I wish to acknowledge their contributions.

Countless students (who also were/are my teachers) were fundamental to the first edition of this book. Among those, I especially recognize Heidi Burgett, Margarita Olivas, Karen Ashcraft, and Jennifer Simpson for exhibit- ing passion and commitment to learning and teaching difference matters. They also gave me invaluable feedback as the book project unfolded. In addi- tion, research assistant Aaron Dimock located a wealth of literature that extended my scope of knowledge about social identity groups.

Many of my colleague-friends read and responded to portions of the manuscript and/or directed me to important information sources. Their input helped to deepen and strengthen the book. A million thanks to Patrice Buzzanell, Karen Tracy, George Cheney, Mark Orbe, Terry Rowden, Jim Barker, Jim Cohn, Dawn Braithwaite, Diane Grimes, Sally Thee, Omar Swartz, Phil Tompkins, Patrick Johnson, Deborah Burgess, Ralph Smith, Brett Anderson, Kurt Nordstrom, and Anna Spradlin.

A special thanks to Deborah Borisoff at New York University for extend- ing the first invitation for me to present a guest talk about difference matters. I also am grateful to other departments and universities that invited me to present my work, including Arizona State University, Western Michigan Uni- versity, the University of Utah, Wooster College, Colorado State University- Pueblo, Loyola Marymount University, Creighton University, the University of Texas-Austin, St. Edward’s University, and my alma mater, Howard University.

Last in a long list of colleagues, but particularly pivotal to the completion of this project, Sonja K. Foss was instrumental from inception through publi- cation of this book. I owe her a deep debt of gratitude.

When the publishers invited me to write a second edition, I was honored and humbled. I have been pleased with positive responses to the book, and gratified to have a second opportunity to delve into difference matters. I am extremely grateful to Ryann Dubiel and Julian Long for their research assis- tance for this second edition. Thanks also to Jennifer Blair, Seema Kapani, and Tre Wentling for invaluable insights.

I also greatly appreciate Jeni Ogilvie for providing fabulous editing expertise for both editions. This book is much better than it would have been without her wise and warm counsel.

Finally, thanks to my soul mate and life partner, Theodis Hall, for his steadfast support as well as his practical perspectives on difference matters.

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1

• • • • • • • •Chapter 1

Difference and Other Important Matters

During a summer break, I exchanged pleasant e-mails with a student I had never met named Jason1 who wanted to enroll in a critical thinking course I would be teaching in the fall. A few weeks into the class, while we were discussing how assumptions affect critical thinking, Jason confessed that when he first saw me, he was shocked that I’m black.2 He had assumed I would be white. And, he questioned his reaction: “Does that mean I’m rac- ist?” I assured him his response did not necessarily mean he was racist. After all, few minority professors were employed at the university. And, through- out Jason’s education, none of his teachers had been black. Plus, we rarely see black women teachers or scholars on TV, in films, or in textbooks. (Have you?) So, Jason understandably was not prepared to encounter a black female college professor. His reaction to me was a good example of how we usually don’t even realize we’ve assumed anything until something contradicts that assumption. Referring to points we had covered about critical thinking, the class and I concluded that Jason’s assumption was logical.

I also assumed things about Jason. I figured he would be a young white male, based on his first name and the university’s predominantly white, tradi- tional college-aged student population. I would have been surprised if he had been a female, older, or any race except white. I hadn’t even considered these subconscious expectations until Jason told me how he reacted to me.

This story implies several matters related to difference and communicat- ing that this book addresses. First, we tend to expect certain types of people to be in certain roles. To see how this tendency works, slowly read the follow- ing list of roles, or better yet, have someone else read it to you. Notice the image that comes to your mind for each:

secretary welfare recipient CEO plastic surgeon soldier female impersonator hair stylist gang member janitor flight attendant minister doctor

Chapter 1

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2 Chapter One

professional basketball player gardener hotel maid special education student manager mail carrier news anchor chemist elementary school teacher hip-hop artist interior decorator nurse

For each of these, you probably pictured someone with a combination of social identities such as gender, race, social class, age, sexuality, religion, and ability status (with or without some type of disability). I think most people in the United States probably would see similar images for each role. Why do you think people might come up with comparable images?

We often expect certain individuals to play certain roles based on a rela- tionship between context and expectations. Jason and I met one another in the late twentieth century at a predominantly white university in Colorado, where I was one of only three black women professors. I also was the first person of color on the faculty in the department where the course was offered. That context helped to shape Jason’s expectations, and mine.

My story implies another point: when we interact with people, we often draw on what we expect and assume about the groups they represent to form our attitudes and to direct our behaviors. For instance, we might depend on stereotypes, oversimplified preconceptions and generalizations about mem- bers of social groups “that provide meaning and organize perceptions, infer- ences, and judgments about persons identified as belonging to a particular social category.”3 Jason might have assumed I was an affirmative action employee, a token hired only because I am black and female, not because I am qualified and competent. He might have expected me not to be intelligent or capable of being a professor. He also could have anticipated that I would be nurturing or aggressive. He might have unconsciously gotten these notions from a variety of sources (including the media, his family, peers, and teachers) that depict black women in stereotypical ways, for instance, as a Mammy/ caretaker or as loud-mouthed and sassy.4 Likewise, I could have drawn on negative media stereotypes of white male college students to conclude that Jason would not be a serious student. I could have presumed he was inter- ested only in partying and doing the minimum amount of work. I might even have thought he would be prejudiced against me because I am black.

In addition to depending on insights from various sources to infer mean- ing about each other, Jason and I might have relied on our personal experi- ences with (similar) different persons. I could have reminded him of a black female coworker, or he may have resembled any number of smart, sincere white male students I have taught. We will explore these and related issues about expectations, including how and why we routinely rely on assumptions and stereotypes when we interact with others.

Another reason we might suppose that certain persons occupy particular roles (as well as the fact that certain types of persons actually do tend to occupy particular roles) stems from a complex history in the United States of

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Difference and Other Important Matters 3

systemic, socially reproduced inequities. For instance, the history of racial and gender discrimination in the United States helps explain the dispropor- tionately low number of black women faculty in universities. We will explore many of these inequities as well as factors in history that help to create, main- tain, challenge, and change them.

In addition to highlighting issues related to roles, social identity, and expectations, my story reveals a common misunderstanding of the meaning of “-isms” such as racism, sexism, heterosexism, ageism, ableism, and classism. Jason’s concern about being racist illustrates a tendency to consider -isms sim- ply as characteristics of a “bad person.” As organizational communication scholar Jennifer Simpson observes, “This thinking, however, tends to keep the focus on -isms as individual behaviors that result from internally located meanings.”5 This attitude neglects larger, systemic forces that contribute to discrimination and prejudice. Throughout the book, we will delve into these and related issues.

My story also illustrates the value of critical thinking skills for reflecting on difference matters. Critical thinking helps you to “distinguish between fact and opinion; ask questions; make detailed observations; uncover assump- tions and define their terms; and make assertions based on sound logic and solid evidence.”6 I encourage you to improve your critical thinking skills as we explore difference matters.

A final issue raised in the story is that people rarely talk openly about top- ics like race or racism in mixed racial groups. Is that true for you? Why or why not? In my experience, these topics often are difficult to discuss or even acknowledge in mixed company. They may arouse uncomfortable responses, such as anxiety, fear, shame, guilt, anger, frustration, hostility, or confusion. However, under the right circumstances, thinking and talking about these top- ics can enlighten and empower us. When we explore and express our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, we might understand ourselves, as well as others, better. We also might be more likely to enjoy effective, open communication with one another. Jason shared his concerns with me because he felt safe in our classroom. I took his question seriously, and I responded by referring to concepts we were studying in our critical thinking class. We had a productive discussion about assumptions, expectations, identity, and communication. That classroom moment marked a turning point in my career as a scholar.

Additional teaching/learning experiences with students, colleagues, friends, and family encouraged me to focus my teaching and research on social identity and interaction. Eventually, I gained enough information and confidence to write this book. I hope to offer insight that helps people of diverse social identities to communicate positively and productively within various contexts.

In this chapter, I set the stage for the rest of the book. I clarify why differ- ence matters, after which I explain concepts that underpin the book. Then, I provide an overview of the rest of the book. To conclude, I will tell you a bit more about myself because I want you to have a sense of me as a real person.

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4 Chapter One

First, though, let me explain the title of the book, beginning with the phrase, “Difference Matters.”

Difference Matters I got the idea for the book’s title from a critically acclaimed book entitled

Race Matters.7 However, in addition to race, I discuss other categories of social identity. For our purposes, difference8 refers to a characteristic of identity such as gender, race, or age. Although people frequently use the word “diversity” for such distinctions, I prefer “difference” because it aligns better with my focus. As sociologist Richard Jenkins explains: “the notion of identity simul- taneously establishes two possible relations of comparison between persons or things: similarity, on the one hand, and difference, on the other.”9 He elabo- rates: “similarity and difference are the dynamic principles of identity, the heart of social life.”10 If we think about similarity and difference as labels on a continuum:

similarity difference

we might recognize that as we perceive differences between people, we also can see similarities. This perspective on identity also helps us avoid the ten- dency to separate things into either/or categories. I mean, is there anyone else in the world who is exactly the same as you, or who is totally different from you? So, our look at difference will consider how humans vary in gender, race, class, ability, sexuality, and age. Religion and nationality are also very important social identity categories. However, due to their broad scope and the space constraints of this text, I mention these identity categories through- out the text rather than in separate chapters.

As we consider each social identity category, we will investigate implica- tions for members of dominant and nondominant groups. Dominant groups tend to have more economic and cultural power than nondominant groups, who tend to have less economic and cultural power. This perspective on iden- tity deviates from how people tend to conceptualize difference by focusing only on the nondominant category. For instance, when you think of difference in terms of sexual orientation, what comes to your mind first, straight (hetero- sexual) or gay (homosexual)? I would be surprised if you said, “straight” or “heterosexual.” What about race? If I said we were going to discuss difference and race, most people would think about blacks or people of color rather than whites or Caucasians. Why does this tend to happen? Usually, “different” refers to how an individual or a group varies from, or compares to, the unspo- ken norm of the dominant group. For example, gender often is defined by equating gender with femaleness/women, which can preclude thinking of males/men as gendered. Please understand that, in this book, “difference” refers simply to ways that each of us can vary from one another. We will delve into how we humans differ, and we will explore ways that those differences matter.

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Difference and Other Important Matters 5

How do you define “matter”? As a verb, it means to be important, to be of consequence, to count, as in “Your opinion matters to me.” As a noun, it means something of concern: “What’s the matter?” Applying those two defi- nitions of “matter,” we will: (1) explore the idea that difference counts (it matters), and (2) examine a variety of important concerns or issues (matters) related to difference. As the title indicates, we will focus on relationships between social identity differences and communicating. Before I discuss the second part of the title (Communicating Social Identity), I need to explain why difference matters enough for me to have written this book.

Why Difference Matters Although people in the United States are alike in many ways, we need to

think about how we differ, for several related reasons. First, U.S. society is changing. We are experiencing an increase in numbers of persons of color, elderly citizens, and people with disabilities. Perhaps you have heard some of the projections: by the year 2030, Hispanics, blacks, Asians, and other racial- ethnic minorities will account for one-third of the population. In addition, age will become more of a factor as baby boomers (people born between 1946 and 1964) like me become elders. For the first time in history, four different age generations comprise the workforce. This change can affect communica- tion processes because members of each age cohort or group tend to have dif- fering experiences, values, and interests.

As demographics change, some social identity groups and their allies have become more vocal about rights and recognition in the workforce and other sectors of society. For instance, in 1990, due in large part to social activists, Congress passed the Americans with Disabilities Act, which legislates equal access and employment opportunities for persons with disabilities. More recently, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act of 2007 (ENDA), seeks to protect employees from discrimination based on actual or perceived sexual orientation. Consequently, some organizations fear lawsuits or boycotts.

Changing demographics, increasing demands for equal access and opportunity, and fear of lawsuits or boycotts have made difference (usually called “diversity”) a hot topic. Many types of organizations (from national and international corporations to government agencies to public and/or pri- vate universities) have responded with various strategies. To be competitive and to prevent charges of discrimination, organizations are striving to value diversity. Many of them are providing diversity training programs or work- shops to help their members understand and address diversity issues to build stronger organizational communities. They also are implementing formal programs to hire, retain, mentor, and promote members of nondominant groups. Some organizations customize marketing and advertising to appeal to various groups, for example, by advertising products and services in Span- ish as well as English. Institutions of higher education fund initiatives and programs to recruit and retain diverse faculty and students and to establish multicultural curricula. Many colleges and universities now require each stu-

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6 Chapter One

dent to take at least one course that concentrates on some aspect of “diver- sity.” Have you experienced any of these?

These and other initiatives can yield important benefits. Potential rewards of valuing difference include increased creativity, productivity, and profitability; enhanced public relations; improved product and service qual- ity; and higher job satisfaction.11 If organizations deal effectively with differ- ence and embrace it as a positive force rather than as something to be shunned or feared, they can optimize accomplishing their goals. For exam- ple, organizations may broaden their markets and increase profits when they seek and incorporate input from members of diverse groups.

Equally as important (if not more so), when we value differences, we can help to fulfill the United States credo of liberty and justice for all. And, we can enhance our lives. My life certainly is enriched because I enjoy relation- ships with many different types of family members, friends, students, and col- leagues. If we take time and care to think and talk about difference, we might have productive and enjoyable interactions with one another across our dif- ferences. Unfortunately, however, numerous obstacles can block attempts to understand and value difference. These obstacles further reinforce the point that difference matters.

Obstacles to Valuing Difference As I noted earlier, difference is a difficult, challenging topic. Efforts to

address difference can arouse negative feelings from members of nondomi- nant and dominant groups. Nondominant group members, such as women, persons of color, homosexuals, and persons with disabilities, as well as per- sons affiliated with certain religious groups or from particular ethnic back- grounds, may feel singled out during discussions about groups with which they identity. Students of color in predominantly white classrooms often feel pressured to represent “their” group when the class discusses race. Nondomi- nant group members also may feel frustrated during diversity training ses- sions because members of dominant groups seem apathetic or hostile to them. They may appear to minimize concerns of nondominant groups, or accuse them of whining or being too sensitive.

At the same time, members of dominant groups, including men, white people, heterosexuals, and persons who do not have disabilities, may believe that nondominant group members are exaggerating. Because dominant group members may not have had similar experiences, they may downplay issues that matter to nondominant persons. Also, some dominant group members may resent the attention they think nondominant groups are receiv- ing when the topic of diversity arises in the workplace.

Dominant group members may feel uncomfortable during diversity training or teaching sessions. Males sometimes feel like they are being attacked when the topic of “male domination” arises. White males may resent feeling blamed for the “sins of the father,” such as blatant discrimina- tion against blacks in early U.S. history: white male students have told me

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Difference and Other Important Matters 7

they were not guilty of those racist acts. Some people may not speak their true thoughts or feelings because they worry that others will perceive them to be sexist, racist, homophobic, or otherwise prejudiced against other groups. Dominant group members may feel threatened because they fear that includ- ing minorities means excluding majorities. For instance, some white people believe that initiatives like affirmative action give minority racial group mem- bers unfair advantages; they think that employers hire and promote minori- ties for their group-based identity rather than their individual qualifications, such as education and expertise. As people compete for jobs, changes such as downsizing, mergers, and layoffs help to compound these attitudes. As you will see, times of economic distress tend to heighten conflict between domi- nant and nondominant groups, with members of the dominant group often feeling more entitled.

Societal norms and tendencies also hinder efforts to deal with difference. Norms about political correctness12 may block members of all groups from expressing themselves, as might fear of lawsuits or other reactions. Such obstacles can increase resentment. A strong norm in our society to appear objective and rational, rather than revealing our emotions, may further obstruct openness to engaging difference matters. Also, because society teaches us to “stick with” our own groups, some people might resist trying to understand or accept other groups due to fear that their group members might shun or criticize them. They may be concerned that someone from their in-group will accuse them of being inauthentic or not true to their roots.

Another norm in our society drives us to define ourselves in opposition to others, which may invite a chain reaction: “my sense of myself is built on my ability to distinguish myself from you; therefore I value the ways in which I am different from you; therefore I begin to devalue the traits that make you distinct from me.”13 This view of oneself and others can become self-perpetu- ating and hard to change. An individual may struggle with anticipated conse- quences of viewing “different” people in positive ways. She or he may feel a false need to surrender a positive sense of self in exchange for viewing an “other” more positively. For instance, a heterosexual man may feel that his manhood would be threatened if he responded favorably to a gay person or if he advocated gay rights.

I referred earlier to another tendency that can affect attitudes toward dif- ference: Members of both nondominant and dominant groups may uncon- sciously connect “difference” with nondominant groups. They may view the social identity category as the defining and potentially constraining charac- teristic of members of nondominant groups. This attitude can divide groups and place undue responsibility for dealing with difference on one group more than another. For instance, a black male human resources director objected to allowing a white man to chair an employee diversity committee, based on the “principle” of assigning the position to someone who does not represent a minority group. He assumed that only a person of color should be in that role. The white man’s qualifications and interest in the position did not seem

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8 Chapter One

to matter. When I presented a seminar on difference and communication as an invited guest of a communication department, only women attended; a white male professor was overheard saying to a white male colleague, “That’s women’s work.” These examples illustrate the premise that difference is the domain only of nondominant groups and that members of nondominant groups should limit themselves to roles and issues related to their groups. This perspective also insinuates that members of nondominant groups are not qualified to do anything else. Furthermore, this mind-set can discourage majority group members from getting involved in difference matters because they might feel alienated and/or defensive.

Not only do attitudes about difference tend to focus on the nondominant “other,” but they also tend to dichotomize and polarize social identity groups. That is, they often divide social identity groups into two, opposing categories. Reducing identities to two “opposites” simplifies complex con- structions of social identity. Consequently, one is forced to identify oneself or someone else as “either/or.” For instance, discourse about race often focuses on or implies blacks and whites. Denoting these racial groups as polar oppo- sites may compel members of other categories to identify as either white or non-white, and to feel excluded or marginalized. A similar dynamic operates for sexuality (i.e., heterosexual or not).

Related to the tendency to categorize groups into polar opposites is the tendency to identify others and ourselves in limited, simplistic ways. We often fail to acknowledge that social identities are complex and multifaceted. We reduce a person to one or two identity labels, without considering the complex nature of everyone’s identity. When I ask students to describe them- selves only by listing three social identity groups they belong to, they feel frustrated. They know themselves to be so much more than three categories could ever portray. Yet, when we talk about this, they confess to perceiving other persons—especially those who seem “different”—in terms of only one or two facets of identity. Combined with the impulse and the expectation to align with one’s “own” group, this tendency to see a person strictly as repre- senting one or two social identity groups can diminish the possibility that the persons will try to get to know one another. These attitudes also can increase the likelihood of conflict between individuals from different groups.

Many people do not believe that difference deserves attention, and/or they view it as significant only in extreme cases. Some persons view differ- ence as noteworthy only when an individual or a group commits blatant, overt acts of discrimination or hate, such as physical assault or murder, against a member of a nondominant group. Because we have made signifi- cant strides in dealing with various -isms, many people believe that U.S. soci- ety has overcome discrimination, despite evidence to the contrary. They do not understand that prejudice, discrimination, and stereotypes infuse our everyday interactions, often in subtle ways.

As I have explained, a complex set of barriers may prevent progress toward valuing differences between and among social identity groups.

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Throughout the book, I employ several strategies for addressing these obsta- cles. I provide information and data from a variety of scholarly sources to dis- prove myths and clarify assumptions about difference matters. I also share examples of how to value and negotiate differences, and I recommend ways to deal with difficult situations. Because I understand that difference matters can be difficult, controversial, and sensitive, I speak with you in the first per- son, and sometimes I share my personal experiences. I acknowledge potential challenges that anyone might face, sometimes by confessing my own strug- gles. So, rather than take the typical approach of a textbook author who offers only rational, objective information, at times I reveal my emotions and thoughts to help you understand what I’m saying, and to model ways that you might process your thoughts and feelings.

To try to ease any concern you might have about negating your own identity because of the tendency to define self in opposition to others, I

Mindfulness

Become more mindful difference matters. What does being “mindful” mean? When you are mindful, you actively process information, you are open to new ideas and insights, and you are sensitive to context.14 Also, mindfulness is “a heightened state of involvement and wakefulness or being in the present.”15 In other words, being mindful requires you to observe yourself in the process of thinking.16 Put even more simply, being mindful means thinking about what you’re thinking about. Becoming more mindful can help you become more sensitive to your environment, more open to new information, more conscious of how and what you perceive, and more aware of multiple perspectives for solving problems.17

To be more mindful about difference matters, notice and question how you categorize and characterize others. Try to notice when you are relying on stereotypes and prejudices about social identity groups. When you meet someone different than you, be aware of which social identity cues you highlight, and remember that each person embodies a complex set of social identities. Monitor your thoughts and feelings related to other people based on their gender, race, age, and so forth, including people who belong to the same groups as you. Cultivate curiosity about how you and others con- struct and perform social identities. Also pay attention to how you per- ceive that others are responding to you. Look for ways that you are guilty of TUI (Thinking Under the Influence) of dominant belief systems or stereo- types, and try to restructure your thoughts.

To really develop this tool, improve your critical thinking skills. Con- sider taking a course or referring to books or Web sites on critical thinking. Please see my Web site [www.differencematters.info] for links to critical thinking sites.

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encourage you to define yourself in more complex ways. I invite you to reflect on how matters of difference affect and have affected your life, to become curious about how you became the person you are. I encourage you to recog- nize how multifaceted you are, because exploring yourself can help you to acknowledge and appreciate the complex identities of others.

To conclude, difference matters for a variety of reasons, including chang- ing demographics, increasing demands for equality, and a related heightened interest in diversity. Although numerous obstacles might delay our progress toward valuing difference, the promise of benefits should motivate us to hur- dle or remove those barriers. Now that I have explained why difference mat- ters, next I introduce other matters that inform the remainder of the book, as implied in the second part of the title.

Communicating Social Identity

Communicating Our study of difference (and similarity!) centers on communication. I use

the verb form, communicating, to refer to the dynamic nature of processes that humans use to produce, interpret, and share meaning. These processes are complex, continuous, and contextual. And, they constitute our social real- ity.18 To understand how communicating helps to create reality, we will explore factors related to how we communicate social identity. We will con- sider how various sources provide implicit and explicit messages about com- munication styles and norms of social identity groups and dominant beliefs (including stereotypes) related to social identity groups. We will focus on dis- course, “systems of texts and talk that range from public to private and from naturally occurring to mediated forms.”19 We will investigate how discourse helped to construct social identity throughout the history of the United States. We also will review changing meanings of discourse related to social identity groups, and their impacts. For instance, varying meanings of femi- ninity and masculinity have affected policy in medicine, law, and education. Throughout the book, we will explore ways that discourse “produces, main- tains, and/or resists systems of power and inequality,”20 especially as related to social identity. We will consider matters related to communicating social identity within and across a variety of contexts in the United States, where structural circumstances have varied widely across history.

We will study interactions between and among members of social iden- tity groups in a variety of interpersonal, group, and institutional/organiza- tional settings. I highlight organizations because we spend so much time within them, and because they play pivotal roles in difference matters. Although most persons might think about organizations as large, for-profit businesses such as corporations, I take a broader perspective that spans a wide range, including large corporations, government agencies and institutions, small businesses, nonprofit groups, sports franchises, hospitals, advocate/

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activist groups, educational institutions, religious institutions, restaurants, social groups (sororities, fraternities), and so forth.

We spend most of our days dealing with organizations as customers, cli- ents, constituents, consumers, congregants, coworkers, employees, patients, students, and representatives, to name several roles. Also, we learn much of what we know about social identities (ours and others’) in organizational set- tings, such as school, church, health care facilities, and at work. Conflict and controversy related to social identity groups usually center on organizations: demands for and disputes about equal employment opportunity and access, education, health care, benefits, and media depictions all implicate various types of organizations. Matters of difference increasingly are apparent and important in organizations, because members of different social identity groups are likely to interact more frequently. Due to population projections, we are more likely now than ever to encounter differences in those settings. Furthermore, as nondominant members of social identity groups continue to gain access to roles they traditionally have not held, we are likely to encoun- ter them/us in unexpected roles, as when Jason and I met.

We often identify ourselves based on organizational relationships and roles. For instance, I am a professor (at a university) and a volunteer (at an elementary school). As members of organizations perform their roles, they also make friends and enemies, gossip, indulge in romances, advance them- selves professionally and personally, and endure a variety of conflicts. A final reason for highlighting organizations regards power dynamics, which I dis- cuss in chapter 2. Power dynamics drive the communication processes that constitute organizations and societies, as different groups strive to serve their own interests and to control various resources.

In addition to organizations, I discuss media and their pivotal roles in communicating social identity. In each social identity chapter, I highlight a specific form of media and how it matters to that category.

Social Identity Identity refers to an individual and/or a collective aspect of being. Soci-

ologists Judith Howard and Ramira Alamilla observe that identity is based not only on responses to the question “Who am I?” but also on responses to the question “Who am I in relation to others?”21 We will focus on social iden- tity, aspects of a person’s self-image derived from group-based categories. Most human beings divide their social worlds into groups, and categorize themselves into some of those groups. In addition, we become aware of other social groups to which we do not belong, and we compare ourselves to them. We often define ourselves in opposition to others: “I know who I am because I am not you.”22 Thus, social identity refers to “the ways in which individuals and collectivities are distinguished in their social relations with other individ- uals and collectivities.”23

Social identity differs from personal identity, one’s sense of self in terms of variables such as personality traits. For instance, a person may be charac-

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terized as “shy” or “outgoing.” However, “a person’s self actually consists of a personal identity and multiple social identities, each of which is linked to different social groups.”24 An individual can “belong” to numerous social identity groups. Some of my social identities are: professor, black, woman, wife, homeowner, U.S. citizen, heterosexual, baby boomer, middle-class, Steelers fan, executive coach, and volunteer. Although infinite possibilities exist for categories of social identity groups, I focus in this book on six that are especially significant in contemporary society: gender, race, social class, ability, sexuality, and age.

As we consider difference matters and social identity, two important ideas to remember are: (1) identity is relational and (2) human beings develop their social identities primarily through communicating.25 This perspective represents the social constructionist school of thought, which contends that “self is socially constructed through various relational and linguistic pro- cesses.”26 In other words, “our identity arises out of interactions with other people and is based on language.”27 Let’s look at how communicating helps to construct social identities.

From the time we are born (and even prior to birth, due to tests that determine a baby’s sex or congenital defects), socially constructed categories of identity influence how others interact with us (and vice versa) and how we perceive ourselves. When a child is born, what do people usually want to know? Generally, they ask if “it” is a boy or a girl. Why is the sex of the child so important? Sex matters because it cues people on how to treat the baby. If the newborn is a girl, relatives and friends may buy her pink, frilly clothes and toys designated for girls. Her parent(s) or guardian(s) may decorate her room (if she’s fortunate enough to have her own room) or sleep area in “fem- inine” colors and artifacts. These actions and others will help to “create a gendered world which the infant gradually encounters and takes for granted as her social consciousness dawns, and which structures the responses to her of others.”28

And that’s just the beginning. As she grows up, she will receive messages from multiple sources, including family members, teachers, peers, and the media about what girls are allowed and supposed to do (as contrasted with boys). This process is known as socialization,

the total set of experiences in which children become clear about norms and expectations and learn how to function as respected and accepted members of a culture . . . children are socialized at both conscious and unconscious levels to internalize the dominant values and norms of their culture, and in so doing, develop a sense of self.29

The same scenario applies for a male. He, too, will receive numerous messages, blatant and subtle, that will mold his self-perception. Simulta- neously, both female and male children will learn about additional identity categories like race, ethnicity, class, ability, age, sexuality, and religion. What they learn may vary depending on their identity composites. For instance, a

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Jewish boy in a working-class family probably will be socialized differently than a Latino Catholic in a middle-class family, even as they each may receive similar messages about being male. Meanwhile, an able-bodied Asian American boy probably will receive different messages than a white boy labeled as “developmentally challenged,” even as all of these males receive comparable lessons about masculinity in general. These individuals also will learn communication styles particular to their groups, such as vocabulary, gestures, eye contact, and use of personal space.

As these children become indoctrinated into social identity groups, they will receive information about other groups, including contrasts between groups, and “rules” for interacting (or not) with members of other groups. They will learn stereotypes about groups, and they may accept these stereo- types as facts. They also will learn about hierarchies of identity. They may learn that being young is more desirable than being elderly, or that being het- erosexual is preferable to being gay. These and other “lessons” about distinc- tions between and within groups will recur throughout their lives—and the lessons may contradict one another.

Due to socialization, children will accept social identity categories as real and natural. Yet, they are not. Persons in power across history have con- structed categories and developed hierarchies based on group characteristics. In 1795, a German scientist named Johann Blumenbach30 constructed a sys- tem of racial classification that arranged people according to geographical location and physical features. He also ranked the groups in hierarchical order, placing Caucasians in the most superior position.

Although scientists have since concluded that race is not related to capa- bility, many societies in the world still adhere to various racial classification systems because the idea of race has become essentialized. Essentialism refers to assumptions that social differences stem from intrinsic, innate, human variations unrelated to social forces. For example, so-called racial groups are viewed as if they have an “ultimate essence that transcends historical and cul- tural boundaries.”31

Thus, while we accept social identity groups as real and natural, we also perceive them as fixed (essentialized) and unchanging. However, these cate- gories are not only artificial, but they also are subject to change. In different times and different places, categories we take for granted either did/do not exist or they were/are quite unlike the ones that we reference in the United States in the twenty-first century. Currently, the same person identified as black in the United States may be considered white in the Dominican Repub- lic; in the nineteenth century choices for racial designations in the United States included gradations of enslaved blacks: mulattos were one-half black, quadroons were one-quarter black, and octoroons were one-eighth black.32

To develop these types of categories, human beings often refer to physical or physiological distinctions. It’s logical to compartmentalize humans according to physical characteristics. If we did not have labels to distinguish groups of items that are similar, we would have to create and remember a

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separate “name” for everything and everyone. What a challenge that would be! Therefore, it makes sense that we use cues like skin color, facial features, body parts, and so forth to distinguish and group people.

However, problems can arise when people assign meaning to neutral descriptors. They may use categories not only to distinguish but also to dis- criminate and dominate. Categorizing can lead to in-group/out-group dis- tinctions that may negatively affect intergroup interactions. For instance, social identity theory (SIT) describes humans’ tendency to label self and others based on individual and group identity.33 SIT contends that members of social identity groups constantly compare their group with others, and they try to show that their group is positively distinct. When an individual per- ceives someone else to be a member of an out-group, that person will tend to react more to perceived group characteristics than to the other person as an individual. Stereotypes and prejudice occur more frequently in this scenario. In contrast, stereotypes and prejudice are less likely when a communicator views another person as an individual, especially when both persons belong to the same social identity group(s).

As I noted earlier, individuals often use identity markers like skin color to develop hierarchies. Moreover, many people accept and reinforce such hierarchies as natural and normal. Organizational communication scholars Charles Conrad and Marshall Scott Poole explain: “As people internalize the values and assumptions of their societies they also internalize its class, race, gender, and ethnicity-based hierarchical relationships.”34 These perceptions facilitate the social construction of inequality, which results in favoritism and privilege for some groups and disadvantage for others. Thus, for instance, regardless of level of education and even with similar qualifications, men of all races in the United States generally earn higher salaries than women of all races, and whites earn more than members of other racial/ethnic groups.

One way to understand differences in status based on social identity is the concept of privilege. Sociologist Peggy McIntosh coined this term to refer to men’s advantages in society, based on her experiences teaching women’s studies.35 McIntosh noticed that while men in her classes were willing to con- cede women’s disadvantages, they were unaware of advantages they enjoyed simply because they were men. She later extended her analysis to encompass race, and she developed the concept of white privilege, which I discuss in chapter 4.

In case you’re not familiar with this concept, one way to think about priv- ilege is handedness. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Did you know that people used to consider being left-handed as deviant, sinister, and dangerous? I’m left-handed, and one of my elementary teachers tried to change me to being right-handed. Of course, Ma didn’t allow that. In our society, being right-handed is the dominant expectation. Although neither of these is better than the other, we have structured society in favor of right-handed people (pri- marily because of numbers). And, right-handed people rarely are aware of the benefits they receive as they move around in a right-hand world. They enjoy

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the privilege of not knowing, until someone points it out. As a lefty, I often have awkward moments with tools, utensils, scissors, desks, and other things designed for right-handed people. And, people have told me, “Your handwrit- ing looks good, for a lefty.” We use our right hand to pledge allegiance to the flag, to shake hands when we meet someone, and to take oaths. Right-handed people can’t avoid the benefits of being right-handed. We all inherited a sys- tem handedness that benefits some and disadvantages others.36

So, privilege tends to “make life easier; it is easier to get around, to get what one wants, and to be treated in an acceptable manner.”37 On the Public Broadcasting System’s video People Like Us, which explores social class in the United States, a white male plumber describes how sales clerks tend to treat men in suits better than they respond to him when he wears his work clothes. Similarly, a working-class college student reported that he would change out of his work clothes before going to campus because he felt that faculty and staff treated him less favorably when he wore them.38

Privilege allows people to be oblivious to how their lives differ from oth- ers’. Members of privileged social identity groups often don’t recognize their advantages. In fact, they may assume that others enjoy similar experiences to theirs. For instance, I never thought about my heterosexual privilege until a coworker friend told me she was a lesbian and began to describe the many challenges she has faced because of her sexual orientation. I just didn’t know how privileged I was. Before I got married, I could easily discuss my [hetero- sexual] dates or romantic relationships during small talk at work. Now that I am married, I often discuss how my husband and I spent the weekend, our plans for vacations, and so forth. If I wanted to, I could put our wedding photo on my desk without thinking twice, especially since we’re the same race and about the same age. Yet, persons who are not heterosexual may hesitate to engage in such activities because they fear verbal abuse, ostracism, being fired, or even physical assault. Even if none of these ever happened, some homosex- uals live with the persistent perception that these reactions might happen.

This potential difference in perceiving the world related to social identity can inhibit interactions between privileged and nonprivileged persons. A per- son who is not privileged (or who does not feel privileged) may seem hyper- sensitive to an individual who is privileged. In contrast, the person who is privileged (or whom the other person perceives to be privileged) may seem hyperinsensitive. Privileged individuals sometimes diminish, dismiss, or dis- count experiences of others who are not advantaged. If a privileged person witnesses or hears about an incident where someone demeans or humiliates a less privileged person, she or he may interpret the incident as an exception rather than the rule. That person also may accuse the less-privileged person of overreacting or misinterpreting the situation. When I assign my friend Anna Spradlin’s article39 on the challenges she faced as a lesbian passing as hetero- sexual at work, some students respond with comments such as, “She’s making a big deal out of nothing,” or “She shouldn’t care what others [her students and colleagues] think.” Of course, that’s easy for them to say. Discussions

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about privilege among nondominant and dominant groups can be productive when each “side” tries to understand the other’s perspectives and experiences.

To elaborate on the idea of privilege, most of us simultaneously occupy privileged and nonprivileged social identity groups. Although I may experi- ence or anticipate discrimination based on my race, gender, and age, I also can reap benefits associated with being heterosexual, able-bodied, educated, and middle-class. I also enjoy the privilege of speaking English as my native language, and being able to read and write. We will consider the concept of privilege and its complexities as we study gender, race, class, ability, sexuality, and age. For now, I hope that you have a basic understanding of the concept of privilege (if it’s new to you) and that you can see how privilege helps to construct and maintain inequalities.

Another consequence of internalizing dominant values and assumptions about social identity groups is that members of nondominant groups often help to perpetuate hierarchies because they believe that their group is inferior and that the dominant group is superior. Accepting these ideas and believing negative stereotypes about one’s group is known as internalized