Faux friendship

Let's discuss Deresiewicz's essay "Faux Friendship".

https://www.chronicle.com/article/Faux-Friendship/49308

To discuss: You may focus on one of these questions if you would like.

1) What are some points Deresiewicz makes about the history of friendship?

Jona

Deresiewicz claims that friendship has changed drastically. That people are trying to limit relationships to just friendships. They try to have a friendship sort of vibe in relationships that should be simply professional or romantic. Friendship was different in ancient times according to Deresiewicz. Friendship used to be considered rare and precious, while today it seems universal. For example we can now become friends with someone just by the click of a button. I agree that friendship has become universal, but I do believe that real friends who actually care about you and treat you like family are extremely rare to come by. Deresiewicz does a great job of explaining the examples that he uses. I may not know most of them, but they are easy to understand after reading his definitions and explanations.

AJay

"Faux Friendship" has so many points that pop up to me, but there's one that especially that I can relate to. There's the "facebook friendship" where it is made up of, hoo-has the most friends, but they're just wall decorations. "once we decided to become friends with everyone, we would forget how to be friends with anyone"Deresiewicz. But to be honest there are no friends now in days, there is no loyalty.

Then there's the "ancient friendship" where you had to have a talent or something that would bring fortune or prestige to the person.

The friendship I can relate to is "early modern friendship" were "compadres," co-fathers/ godparents. When is see my godfather I always have to kiss his hand or ring to show him respect.

Nic L

After reading Deresiewicz’s essay “Faux Friendship” I could not disagree more. He asserts that friendship has become “all and nothing at all”. He begins his argument stating that friendship is not what it used to be. I find arguments of this nature immensely dissatisfying because they completely neglect the value of change. Arguments like Deresiewicz’s occur with each subsequent generation, and to me they ring hollow, sounding of a person struggling to adapt to change. Many arguments from this standpoint also hold dearly onto the romanticizing of previous eras and completely disregard the pain and strife from times of yesteryear. The classic argument towards the loss in print compared to eText reading. Much of why I believe this regarding Deresiewicz reigns from his discussion of romanticized friendships from the “Classical” or “Romantic friendships” of the 18th century and earlier. Finally, he also discusses a great loss of intimate friendships while later stating he finds friends on social media expressing affection openly is “distasteful”, and even stating, “There's something faintly obscene about performing that intimacy in front of everyone you know”. To me, he appears to be arguing from the “Appeal to Nature” fallacy and is attempting to construct a view that previous friendships were natural and modern friendship is not.

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