Hip hop's betrayal of black women

“Hip-Hop’s Betrayal of Black Women” analysis

English 1002

2/26/18

In the reading “Hip-Hop’s Betrayal of Black Women”, the author’s main claim is about how men within the music industry are starting to not respect women. Or why the only time men are wanting to glorify women is when they are objectifying them like a trophy of some sort or calling them things like “Baby Mamas”, “Chicken Heads”, or even “Bitches”. The author gives an idea on how Hip-Hop influences many rappers from long ago that have a historical affect on our society are even trying to fit into today’s norms by helping present day rappers. The way the author uses many different examples, analogies, and the tone of this reading, help the reader to understand this article a little bit better. I find this essay to be very convincing because I feel like the author is using a combination of statistics and emotions to catch the readers attention. Comment by Robert Martinez II: Commas/periods go inside quote marks! Fix all of these errors. Comment by Robert Martinez II: She discusses how the only… Comment by Robert Martinez II: effect Comment by Robert Martinez II: This sentence is worded awkwardly—too cumbersome. Try to reword it and simplify the idea you want to express. Comment by Robert Martinez II: OK, good thesis idea!Possessive error: reader’s attention

There are many reasons as to why the author makes the claim that increasingly men within the Hip-Hop industry are becoming icons on how to not treat a woman properly or on how to talk bad about women through their music. Something that this author discusses is how artists like “The Roots” and “The Common” are all doing things to help support these male rappers. According to the text (p. 222), “Hip-Hop owes its success to ideology of woman-hating. It creates, perpetuates, and reaps the rewards of objectification” (Mclune, 222). This statement is one that does support her main claim. Even though these old-time artists are trying to fit in with today’s rappers, they are still shy about showing their faces around mainstream artists that do this for a living. That was something I found odd because they claim to support these rappers but have yet to be seen with them. Comment by Robert Martinez II: No quote marks needed for band names, just capitalize. Quote marks are needed for song names. Comment by Robert Martinez II: Well, you need to quote her evidence that states how The Roots have backed up Jay-Z, for example—that is the proof that socially conscious hip hop supports misogyny hip hop for McLune.

The author also talks about how this issue really is not touched upon because some of the artists in the game today are females, even though female rappers usually stay within the industry and stray away from bashing themselves and others (sometimes having to retaliate to other artists because of something he or she said), know their boundaries. According to the text (p. 223), “Unlike men, women in hip-hop don’t speak in a collective voice in defense of themselves. The pressure on women to be hyper-feminine and hyper-sexual for the pleasure of men, and the constant threat of being called a bitch, a hoe—or worse, a dyke—as a result of being strong, honest, and self-possessed, are real within hip-hop culture and the black community at large (Mclune, 223). Meaning that, when a woman is in the game, it is not to only stand up for what she believes in, but it is also a way for women to show that they know their boundaries, and even through being bashed and talked bad upon, she is still going to maintain her characteristics that make her a strong female rapper. This is also another claim that does relate to the authors main claim. Comment by Robert Martinez II: This part of your sentence does not make sense; your sentence seems to end after your parenthesis. Comment by Robert Martinez II: You only need the parenthetical page citation at the end of the quotation. Comment by Robert Martinez II: Start off your sentence with a proper subject: What McLune means here is that when a woman… Comment by Robert Martinez II: This is not what McLune is saying in the above quotation. She is arguing that women in hip hop cannot be themselves—there is too much male pressure to play the role of the sex object and hyper-feminine woman. Does McLune provide evidence to support this claim?

The author uses these two sub claims to help broaden her main claim. In this reading, the author has it set up, where she uses a quote that compares to different genres that are alike in the ways of degrading women. The author then goes into detail about hip-hop groups from the past until the present day and discusses how these groups are starting to collab with each other. The only problem with this is that, present day rappers are all for degrading women, while the old school rappers such as Tupac and Biggie, rapped about things that are actually going on towards women. But now some of these older groups, such as The Common, are proclaiming their admiration for Jay-Z, the most sexist and materialistic rappers out there today. The way the author has her style of design set-up is what really helps the reader to understand her main claim and the sub claims that come along with it. Comment by Robert Martinez II: collaborate Comment by Robert Martinez II: do you mean newer here—isn’t Common a current artist? Comment by Robert Martinez II: one of the most…

The author uses examples very well all throughout this reading. I feel like these examples do help the author by getting her point across to the readers. She used examples of old time groups and rappers and used present day rappers as well. When using examples of present day rappers, she talked about it from the men’s perspective and from the women’s perspective. The language the author uses is very descriptive. For example, the author uses words like “Ho”, “Dyke”, and “Bitches” to explain the different kinds of terms that some of these present-day rappers are using to describe everyday females and even females within the music industry. The author talks about how one of the past rappers claims to be praised for a song called “Black Girl Pain” but admires Jay-z who states in one of his songs “I pimp hard on a trick, if your leg broke bitch, hop up on your good foot”. Meaning that, even though this artist has made a song about women and the struggles he believes they go through, is still very clueless to the actual struggles that they go through. Comment by Robert Martinez II: again, start your sentence with a proper subject. See my comment about this error above.

In this essay, I have discussed the authors main claim, which is that Men within the hip-hop industry are starting to become less and less respectful of the women around them. She does this by giving us two sub-claims that really help the reader to understand what is going on and these sub-claims are how these old-time rappers are trying so hard to fit into todays society by praising these hip-hop artists today but are too scared to be within the mainstream because of their reputation. The other sub-claim is that this issue is not one that is trying to be solved because women are becoming a main factor within the music industry. She does all of this by using different examples and analogies to describe these relationships among hip-hop and the affect it has on society. Comment by Robert Martinez II: author’s Comment by Robert Martinez II: men Comment by Robert Martinez II: possessive error

Works-cited

1. Mclune, J. (2006). Hip-Hop’ Betrayal of Black Women. Z Magazine. Retrieved from: Online Source Comment by Robert Martinez II: This is not a complete MLA entry. Complete it properly. Check here: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/08/

Sample Rubric for Visual & Written Essay Analysis

Criterion

Below

Satisfactory

Meets

Exceeds

Rhetorical Context

17

(10, 13, 17, 20)

Shows some misunderstanding of topic, provides a confusing or underdeveloped summary of the author’s main point, does not address the larger context surrounding the article.

Shows some understanding of the topic, provides a somewhat clear summary of the author’s main point, addresses at least one context area (publication, date, author, broader conversation/debate.

Demonstrates solid understanding of the topic, provides a relatively clear summary of the author’s main point, addresses some of the larger context surrounding the article (publication, date, author, broader conversation/debate).

Showcases thorough understanding of the topic, clearly summarizes the author main point, and considers the larger context surrounding the article (publication date, author, broader conversation/debate).

Analysis & Evaluation of Argument

(Logos)

13

(10, 13, 17, 20)

An underdeveloped analysis and evaluation of the claims and evidence provided within the article. Fails to use specific examples to support points. Does not attend to the logic behind the author’s assumptions and conclusions.

Provides adequate analysis and evaluation of the claims and evidence provided within the article. Additional examples needed to support the assessment. Some attempt to consider. the logic behind the author’s assumptions and conclusions.

Solid analysis and evaluation of the article’s claims and evidence provided. Uses specific examples to support most points. Attends to the logic behind the author’s assumptions and conclusions.

Provides a detailed analysis and evaluation of the claims and evidence provided within the article. Uses specific examples to support all points. Attends to the logic behind the author’s assumptions and conclusions in a convincing manner.

Analysis & Evaluation of Appeals to Audience (Pathos)

AND/OR

13

Analysis & Evaluation of Writing

(Ethos)

(10, 13, 17, 20)

Does not demonstrate the ability to analyze an author’s appeal to audience.

Does not demonstrate the ability to analyze the ways in which writing features impact arguments.

Some attempt to consider the author’s appeal to audience, additional or stronger examples needed to support assessment.

Shows some ability to analyze and evaluate the ways in which writing features (style, tone, length) can impact an argument.

A good attempt at considering the author’s appeals to the audience, some convincing examples support assessment.

Solid analysis and evaluation of the ways in which aspects of the writing (style, tone, length, site of publication) impact the argument.

Analyzes and evaluates the ways in which the author appeals to the audience, providing detailed and convincing examples for support.

Thoroughly analyzes and evaluates the ways in which aspects of the writing (style, tone, length, site of publication) impact the argument.

Essay Organization

8

(5, 7, 8, 10)

Does not follow the standard essay pattern organization.

Some slips in the standard organizational essay pattern.

Good organization in the standard essay pattern.

Well-crafted, progressing in the standard essay pattern.

Language Usage

8

(5, 7, 8, 10)

Lower-level writing. Overall, simple sentences and basic wording. Problems with basic writing conventions.

Decent writing showcased here. Some variety with wording but simple sentences prevail.

Good overall writing. Well worded with a solid amount of sentence variation.

College-level writing. Excellent word variation and complex sentence structure.

Mechanics

6

(0, 6, 8, 10)

Lack of effort with proofreading. Multiple errors

Problems with proofreading. Some errors present.

Pretty well proofread. A few oversights.

Well proofread. Very few oversights.

MLA

7

(5, 7, 8, 10)

Does not show mastery of MLA format. Multiple errors and misuse.

Some problems with understanding MLA format. Some errors and misuse.

Demonstrates basic mastery of MLA format. A few errors and misuse.

Demonstrates high-level mastery of MLA format. Very minor errors present.

Essay Score: __72___/100 = C-

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