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HUMAN ORGAN TRADE 10

Legalizing Organ Sale will save Lives and End Violence Comment by Mary Petty: 1. GCU FORMAT-Please use GCU format. Use the GCU format template. Please note: heading information must appear only on the first page (not as a header), and it must be in a specific order, all pages (including page one) must have page numbers in the upper right corner (inserted as a header), all margins must be one inch, paragraphs must be indented .5”, and the entire document must be double spaced in Times New Roman size 12 font. Thanks!

Student’s Name: Antoinette Holly

Course Title: ENG 106

Instructor: Mary Petty

Date:4/19/17

Organ trade is a practice that involves the buying and selling body tissues, body parts and even human organs for the sole purpose of transplantation. The demand of these body parts, tissues and organs in the world is much more than the supply. It is estimated that over 90,000 people were on the waiting list in the United States alone. This poses a problem for such desperate individuals since the commercial trade of organs is illegal except in Iran. Countries such as Australia and Singapore have moved to address this issue by legalizing and allowing financial compensation for living organ donors (Brezina, 2010). Comment by Mary Petty: 5. Intro-Your introduction should contain 3-5 sentences before the thesis, and be specific to your argument topic. Your intro needs to have a. Hook: The beginning is your chance to capture your reader’s attention! What can you start with that will compel your audience to pay attention? Perhaps an anecdote or surprising fact? b. Context: Now back up a little bit. Explain what the issue is at hand. In a few lines, provide some background and context You need to summarize the trend concerning the topic that you chose to express your argument about. The introduction should be in your writing and not contain outside resource information or basic facts taken from a source. Make sure you are focused and your topic is narrowed to that subject rather than overview. Introduce the topic in summary form. Comment by Mary Petty: 6. Thesis: Please remember you were asked to provide a specific thesis statement for this essay. Take the issue you have chosen to focus on and list what causes it and/or the effects for your thesis: “Black market sales of organs in the U.S. is caused by x, y, and z.” –Typically, this will be the last sentence of your introduction. Make sure your argument is clear and detailed. Keep working on your thesis statement. Review this resource for help and consider using the thesis builder. http://writing.itu.edu.tr/ce1.pdf Example of cause and effect thesis: Smoking, environmental hazards, and genetic factors (causes) often cause lung cancer (effect). Example of effect and causes thesis: Teenagers often become anxious and stressed (effect) because of academic pressures, sports schedules, and demands of a job (causes). Comment by Mary Petty: Try using thesis builder to see how your thesis can possibly phrased effectively. It’s a bit clunky, but you can revise as necessary to make it grammatically correct. http://ozline.com/electraguide/cause.php

Argument for Legalizing Comment by Mary Petty: No APA titles needed. APA citations and References are used. However, you need to use GCU format.

The issues that raise much concern is the fact that the sale of blood, semen, eggs and even volunteering for medical trials legal while the sale of these much-needed organs illegal. Statistics show that there are only 20,000 available kidneys every year for about 90,000 people in the United States. What we need to consider is whether legalizing and regulating the trade of organs help deal with this shortage and at the same time eradicate illegal trafficking. Comment by Mary Petty: 7. TOPIC SENTENCE (MISSING OR POOR)-Please remember that every paragraph needs a topic sentence that states the topic and purpose of the paragraph. It also points back to the thesis and forecasts the development of the paragraph using each supporting reason. Your supporting reason statement expands your thesis argument. After the topic sentence, you would include evidence and explanations to prove your argument about the topic within the body paragraph. The topic sentence is detailed, and it is usually a complex compound sentence that is introduced with a transition word or phrase (e.g. “In fact,” “In addition,” etc.). Comment by Mary Petty: 13. FIRST PERSON-Please avoid using first person unless you are providing personal examples. Never use “I believe,” “I think,” or “I feel” in academic writing; unless you cite a source, the reader will know that what you write is what you believe, think, or feel. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

The numbers are overwhelming, George Mason, a university professor and Alexander Tabarrok, director at the independent institute research wrote on the wall street journal that in 2007 alone there where about 64,606 kidney transplants worldwide. This does not indicate the number of patients that were left anguishing in the waiting list. The only solution that will permanently deal with organ shortage is legalizing and controlling it. Legalizing the trade will make the stakes so high, the available market forces and the complementing social pressure would make it hard to either intimidate or defraud people. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

Arguments have suggested that this legalization will not only lead to exploitation of some people, but also give advantage to the rich who will be able to take advantage and buy the organs themselves. This may be true but such arguments forget to site that exploitation and rich advantage is manifested even now in the black market. The fact also remains that, pushing a market underground makes it more lucrative and it is often characterized by violence and criminality (Institute of Medicine (É.-U.)., Childress, & Liverman, 2006). Statistics further indicate that 20 percent of kidney transplants in the world are attributed to the black market. It is therefore reasonable to have measures and structures in place that will help curb the huge black market network that has emerged which is characterized by intimidation, coercion, bullying, extortion, and slapdash surgeries. Comment by Mary Petty: This is your argument concerning cause and effect. You need to be clear.

Nadley Hakim, a transparent surgeon at St. Mary’s Hospital in London said that the trade is going on anyway. He suggested we establish a controlled trade, where organ donations will be acceptable, done the right way and at the right price therefore making it safer by reducing suffering to the donor and recipient. This will reduce the profits accumulated by conducting illegal transplantations in the black market, ensure the market is not taken over by organized crimes and make sure those harmed in the trade are not isolated from the normal routes of recourse. Comment by Mary Petty: 7. QUOTE/FACT IN PLACE OF THE TOPIC SENTENCE-Please remember that your topic sentence can never be a quote, fact, or a question; a topic sentence should establish the topic and purpose of the paragraph. Save quotes and facts for the body of the paragraph. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

Perhaps the way to convince people on the significance of legalizing organ trade is to expose them to the facts (Brennan, 2012). It is important that we insist to inform people that organ trade is happening even under the color of the law. Doctors have been harvesting tissue and organs from dead patients for years without their consent. It is also sad that thousands of people are suffering all over the world while we wait for the system to change and become more accommodative to controlled and regulated organ trade. Civil education must be a theme that advocates for what such a move would do for people. The fact is that, approval for regulated organ trade has risen from 44 percent to 60 percent according to the oxford-style debate hosted by National Public Radio. The truth of the matter is that, the number of cadaveric (brain dead donors) donors and living donors have also increased. This also gives us a chance to take advantage of such organs and use them to give people chances to explore their opportunities instead of letting them go to waste. Despite these increases, 15 people still lose their lives every day due to the shortage that exists. Comment by Mary Petty: 7. QUOTE/FACT IN PLACE OF THE TOPIC SENTENCE-Please remember that your topic sentence can never be a quote, fact, or a question; a topic sentence should establish the topic and purpose of the paragraph. Save quotes and facts for the body of the paragraph.

Legalizing organ trade will also give a chance for the for families of cadaveric donors and living donors to negotiate with both recipients of the organ and insurance companies so that they can get the right value for what they are offering. There have also been plans to compensate the families of cadaveric donors as a way of ensuring they do not feel shortchanged in the whole process (Healy, 2006). Comment by Mary Petty: 8. EXPLAIN RESEARCH-Please remember you must explain all of the research you include in your paper. If you don’t explain the research, then readers might not understand its purpose of your argument. It must be in support of your thesis argument and reasoning.

Legalizing organ trade would play a major role in exacerbating not just the class enmity that is rampant in the world, but also the ethnic enmity. There have been instances where the poor due to desperation and lack of options, have been forced to sell their organs to people who are better off (Koh, 2013). There have also been cases where conflict has risen such as between the Turks and Israelis due to advantage taken by one ethnic group to reap organs from another. To bridge this class and ethnic gaps we therefore need to have structures that guide and control anything associated with organ trade. Making it illegal will further polarize these already charged people and cause unwarranted hatred. Comment by Mary Petty: 11. REPETITIVE ORGANIZATION Please remember to organize your ideas thoroughly to avoid repetition. Thanks! Comment by Mary Petty: 7. TOPIC SENTENCE (MISSING OR POOR)-Please remember that every paragraph needs a topic sentence that states the topic and purpose of the paragraph. It also points back to the thesis and forecasts the development of the paragraph using each supporting reason. Your supporting reason statement expands your thesis argument. After the topic sentence, you would include evidence and explanations to prove your argument about the topic within the body paragraph. The topic sentence is detailed, and it is usually a complex compound sentence that is introduced with a transition word or phrase (e.g. “In fact,” “In addition,” etc.). Comment by Mary Petty: 13. SFRAG1 – SENTENCE FRAGMENTS-This is a sentence fragment. Remember that to punctuate a clause as a complete sentence (with a period or a semicolon), you must have a subject and a verb, and the clause must not be dependent.

It is also important to understand that, as things stand, it is only the rich who are capable of flying around the world in search of organs in the black market. Due to this, it is thus crucial that we struggle to have a working mechanism concerning organ trade that will tackle this disparity. This means legalizing the trade thereby putting the organs within the reach of the majority poor people who have no means of ability to access them illegally. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

Being able to conduct success transplantations is one of the glories of modern medicine. But we have denied our qualified medical practitioners to put their skills to practice by illegalizing the act. The shortage nature of the organs also negatively affects this fact. It is also crucial that we make it possible for both the technology and skills to find use by helping save lives. Comment by Mary Petty: 13. SFRAG1 – SENTENCE FRAGMENTS-This is a sentence fragment. Remember that to punctuate a clause as a complete sentence (with a period or a semicolon), you must have a subject and a verb, and the clause must not be dependent. Comment by Mary Petty: 13. SFRAG1 – SENTENCE FRAGMENTS-This is a sentence fragment. Remember that to punctuate a clause as a complete sentence (with a period or a semicolon), you must have a subject and a verb, and the clause must not be dependent. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

It is further evident that; legalizing organ trade and donation will make some destinations medical hubs. This means there will be organs to work on therefore leading to numerous breakthroughs by having transplant expertise. The amount that is also required to get surgeons and other experts is too high. With the availability of organs and developed expertise, they will become affordable and even the poor will be able to get lifesaving procedures done. Comment by Mary Petty: 13. MISUSE OF SEMICOLON OR MISSING SEMICOLON-A semi colon separates two complete sentences. Please make sure you have two complete sentences before you use a semi colon. When you use a semicolon and a transition phrase to separate two sentences, you must place a semicolon before the transition, and you must place a comma after the transition. Comment by Mary Petty: 13. MISUSE OF SEMICOLON OR MISSING SEMICOLON-A semi colon separates two complete sentences. Please make sure you have two complete sentences before you use a semi colon. When you use a semicolon and a transition phrase to separate two sentences, you must place a semicolon before the transition, and you must place a comma after the transition. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

The unemployment levels will be greatly reduced when organ trade is legalized. We will have platforms that show profiles of qualified experts and evidence of their work making it easier to make the right decision on who can do the right job. This means black market and illegal surgeries will be eradicated and replaced with competent and accredited individuals with further skills and qualifications to ensure that procedures are done according to the stipulated code of conduct. Comment by Mary Petty: Not sure how this reflects the assignment of cause and effect. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

Desperation in the medical sector has led us to even attempt transplanting animal organs and tissues into human bodies. This problem will be addressed as soon as we allow people to have that choice to sell or donate an organ they do not need. It is not just the sick that will benefit from legalizing organ trade and the overall organ shortage situation, their families and the affected families of cadaveric donors will gain financially and they will get that satisfaction of knowing their son, daughter, mother, father or friend still lives on in another and they were able to help save a life. Comment by Mary Petty: This paragraph does not really stand on its own. It seems to be connected with the thoughts of the previous paragraph and/or needs to include more details for it to stand on its own. Each paragraph needs to be a fully developed thought that transitions well with the paragraphs that precede or follow it. Each body paragraph must argue and support your reasoning found in your thesis statement at the end of your introduction paragraph.

Conclusion

First and foremost, we must insist that legalizing organ donation will not induce anybody or allow people to sacrifice their bodily integrity for monetary gains. Everything will be scrutinized to ensure it is done for the right reasons and through the stipulated procedures. It will not be easy to regulate and control but I believe it will create a better situation compared to the current dominated by the black market. Comment by Mary Petty: 13. 1PER – FIRST PERSON-Please avoid using first person unless you are providing personal examples. Never use “I believe,” “I think,” or “I feel” in academic writing; unless you cite a source, the reader will know that what you write is what you believe, think, or feel. Comment by Mary Petty: 10. CONCLUSION-Please remember that merely summarizing your paper in your conclusion will not leave readers thinking about your purpose. Include closing transition words or phrases, close up your thesis argument using different words, and the reasoning you discussed in the essay. Make sure NOT to include new information or personal opinions. Try to create a meaningful conclusion that gives readers a reason to continue thinking about your paper. Comment by Mary Petty: 13. FIRST PERSON-Please avoid using first person unless you are providing personal examples. Never use “I believe,” “I think,” or “I feel” in academic writing; unless you cite a source, the reader will know that what you write is what you believe, think, or feel.

Although there have been some disadvantages such as human trafficking for organs, dehumanizing or devaluing of human lives, exploitation of the poor by the rich and a number of deaths due to black market surgeries, this is all due to the illegal nature of the practice. If the right legislations were put in place to direct and provide guidance, then all the above problems will either be reduced or eradicated completely.

Altruism is just not enough at the moment. People must be motivated by giving them incentives so that we can have enough to save lives. The sick should not be encouraged to accept death gracefully which makes them turn to the black market. We have to find ways of closing the exploitative black market and that is by having a controlled mechanism for organ trade.

It is evident that legalizing will greatly address the organ shortage that has led to numerous loss of life. This means having policies that will guide and control the whole process so that everything happens to the satisfaction of parties involved.

Advancement in the overall medical sector depends on the donations of organs and bodies. Research scientists and students of anatomy are able to use such donations to develop medicine and invent new life saving techniques by working on organs and bodies donated. Most religions see organ donation as an act of charity. Lives have been saved.

You’re off to a nice start! It’s clear you have an understanding of the topic. Please use GCU Style document setup and only use APA for references and citations. You need to establish your own thoughts and writing that support a thesis statement. You have some good information. You need to organize your essay by the reasoning (effects) that you chose to support your argument in your thesis. Also, you need to focus in on which elements cause your issue. You will then focus on solutions to this issue in the next essay. Also review page 256-264 in your text. Remember the rubric states that the content should have an argument that, “…centers specifically on cause/effect and effectively uses strategies that support causal arguments (causal chains and inductive reasoning). Specific, cited evidence justifies ideas and enriches the essay” (GCU, 2014). Review this document for more info: http://pvccenglish.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/causal-analysis-information.pdf. Take the issue you have chosen to focus on and list what causes it and/or the effects for your thesis: "Black market sales of organs in the U.S. is caused by x, y, and z." –Typically, this will be the last sentence of your introduction.

Your essay needs to identify causes or consequences of a trend or phenomenon pertaining to the sale or trade of human organs and provide evidence as to why those are causes/consequences. Here is an outline to assist with organizing your thesis statement and essay in general:

First Draft Causal Essay Outline:

Your essay should consist of quality (at least 5) paragraphs. If you have one paragraph that is significantly longer than the others, you need to see if it can be restructured into several paragraphs. Your essay must be structured using well organized paragraphs! : (ctrl + right click to follow link)

Introduction:

Engage and explain your causal issue to the audience.

What makes it important?

Thesis: Take the issue you have chosen to focus on and list what causes it for your thesis: “Black market sales of organs in the U.S. is caused by x, y, and z.” (you can use more than three causes, links, or consequences).Your essay can and should contain more than 5 paragraphs.

You can explain links in the causal chain you created or You may also discuss multiple consequences.

Body:

First cause, link, or consequence: Make sure you explain the causes, links in the causal chain (How A leads to B, B leads to C and, so forth), or consequence and use support from source material to show its relationship with the causal issue. Conclude and lead into the next paragraph.

Second cause, link, or consequence: Make sure you explain the causes, links in the causal chain (How A leads to B, B leads to C and, so forth), or consequence and use support from source material to show its relationship with the causal issue. Conclude and lead into the next paragraph.

Third cause, link, or consequence Make sure you explain the causes, links in the causal chain (How A leads to B, B leads to C and, so forth), or consequence and use support from source material to show its relationship with the causal issue. Conclude and lead into the next paragraph.

Conclusion:

Sum up your argument and restate your thesis.

Re-state why this issue is important and conclude with a memorable thought or statement. Your essay should consist of quality (at least 5-8) paragraphs. If you have one paragraph that is significantly longer than the others, you need to see if it can be restructured into several paragraphs. Your essay must be structured using well-organized paragraphs! : (ctrl + right click to follow link)

See my comments on your References page below.

References Comment by Mary Petty: The References page needs to be at the top of its own page according to APA format.

Aurenque, D. (2016). Why altruism is not a convincing argument for promoting post-mortem Comment by Mary Petty: Additional sources from GCU Library are needed. You need scholarly sources for this essay, such as journals http://library.gcu.edu/. Comment by Mary Petty: 2. HANGIND – NO (OR INCORRECT) HANGING INDENT-Please use a hanging indent for each of your references. To get the “hanging indent” please use the control + T (or command + T) button combination. Please do not use the enter and tab keys to get the hanging indent.

organ donation: Responsibility and solidarity as key concepts. In Organ Transplantation in Times of Donor Shortage (pp. 61-69). Springer International Publishing.

Brennan, J. (2012). Libertarianism: What everyone needs to know.

Brezina, C. (2010). Organ donation: Risks, rewards, and research. New York: Rosen Pub.

Healy, K. J. (2006). Last best gifts: Altruism and the market for human blood and organs.

Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Institute of Medicine (É.-U.)., Childress, J. F., & Liverman, C. T. (2006). Organ donation:

Opportunities for action. Washington, D.C: National Academies Press.

Koh, H. K. (2013). Perspectives on Creating a Balanced Approach to Organ Transplantation

Safety and Availability. Public Health Reports, 128(4), 243.