2001
Copyright ©Joe Brainard, 197 5 Copyright© The Estate of Joe Brainard, 2001 Afterword copyright© Ron Padgett, 2001
All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be reproduced without express written permission of the Estate of Joe Brainard.
For information concerning subsidiary rights to I Remember, please contact Ron Padgett, Literary Executor of the Estate of Joe Brainard, 342 East 13th Street, No. 6, New York, NY 10003.
Printed in the United States of America Cover: Joe Brainard, Untitled, 197 6. Collection of Peter R. Stem. Book design by Amber Phillips
Second printing, November, 2002
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Brainard,Joe, 1942-1994 I remember I Joe Brainard.
p. cm. "Portions of this work were published as I Remember (1970), Remember More (1972) and More I Remember More (1973), by Angel Hair Books"--T.p. verso.
ISBN 1-887123-48-2 1. Brainard, Joe, 1942---Childhood and youth. 2. United States-
Social life and customs--1945-1970. 3. Authors, American--20th cen tury--Biography. 4. Artists--United States--Biography. 5. Memory. I. Title.
PS3552.R275 Z467 2001 811 '.54--dc21
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I remember the first time I got a letter that said "After Five Days Return To" on the enve lope, and I thought that after I had kept the let ter for five d�ys I was supposed to return it to the sender.
· ··
I remember the kick I used to get going through my parents' drawers looking for rub bers. (Peacock.)
I remember when polio was the worst thing in the world.
I remember pink dress shirts. And bola ties.
I remember when a kid told me that those sour clover-like leaves we used to eat (with little yellow flowers) tasted so sour because dogs peed on them. I remember that didn't stop me from eating them.
I remember the first drawing I remember doing. It was of a bride with a very long train.
I remember my first cigarette. It was a Kent.
8
Up on a hill. In Tulsaj Oklahoma. With Ron Padgett.
I remember my first erections. I thought I had some terrible disease or something.
I remember the only time I ever saw my mother cry. I was eating apricot pie.
I remember how much I cried seeing South Pacific (the movie) three times.
I remember how good a glass of water can taste after a dish of ice cream.
I remember when I got a five-year pin for not missing a single morning of Sunday School for five years. (Methodist.)
I remember when I went to a "come as your favorite person" party as Marilyn Monroe.
I remember one of the first things I rem em her. An ice box. (As opposed to a refrigerator.)
I remember white margarine in a plastic bag. And a little package of orange powder. You put the orange powder in the bag with the margarine and you squeezed it all around until the mar garine became yellow.
I remember how much I used to stutter.
9
I remember how much, in high school, I wanted to be handsome and popular.
I remember when, in high school, if you wore green and yellow on T hursday it meant that you were queer.
I remember when, in high school, I used to stuff a sock in my underwear.
I remember when I decided to be a minister. I don't remember when I decided not to be.
I remember the first time I saw television. Lucille Ball was taking ballet lessons.
I remember the day John Kennedy was shot.
I remember that for my fifth birthday all I wanted was an off-one-shoulder black satin evening gown. I got it. And I wore it to my birth day party.
I remember a dream I had recently where John Ashbery said that my Mondrian period paintings were even better than Mondrian.
I remember a dream I have had often of being able to fly. (Without an airplane.)
I remember many dreams of finding gold and jewels.
40
I remember "I like the colors."
I remember "You couldn't give it to me."
I remember "It's interesting."
I remember Bermuda shorts and knee length socks.
I remember the first time I saw myself in a full-length mirror wearing Bermuda shorts. I never wore them again.
I remember playing doctor with Joyce Vantries. I remember her soft white belly. Her large navel. And her little slit between her legs. I remember rubbing my ear against it.
I remember Lois Lane. And Della Street.
I remember jerking off to sexual fantasies of Troy Donahue with a dark tan in a white bathing suit down by the ocean. (From a movie with Sandra Dee.)
I remember sexual fantasies of making it with a stranger in the woods.
I remember sexual fantasies in white tile shower rooms. Hard and slippery. Abstract and steamy. Wet body to wet body. Slippery, fast, and squeaky.