Ks5

Write Two Discussion Board  250 WORDS APA * Must NAME Include student name so I know which Reply belongs to who.

 Trude 

When discussing divorce and remarriage it can be quite a taboo topic due to the biblical highness that marriage holds. In correlation with biblical principal, marriage is a covenant meant to last of until eternity or death. As the bible states in Ecclesiastes 5:5 “It is better not to make a vow then to make one and not fulfill it” (The King James Version). There are very few reasons in which the dissipation of a marriage is acceptable such as adultery, abandonment of religious belief and abandonment of the familial unit. However, most people do not enter marriage expecting or anticipating divorce. Most couples are initially truly happy on the surface but either lack the biblical foundation to withstand though times or fail to execute expectations in communicating their views, desires and wants to their spouses. Also, with the state of Western society today, divorce has become such a viable option to couples experiencing difficulty because it has been normalized and deemed ok in opposition, during earlier times, there was a shame that was felt amongst couples when entertaining the idea of divorce. Older couples were taught to seek the help of the church or to receive advice from more experienced couples whereas now couples take the advice of their single friends and are shamed from trying to work it out the right way. Whatever the reason may be unfortunately, sometimes marriage ends in divorce. From my own personal perspective, I do not believe that divorce should be an option until every possible avenue has been explored in the form of counseling and prayer unless the offense is greatly beyond the scope of forgiveness (harm of spouse or child).

Once divorce occurs, life after can be extremely difficulty essentially because the former couple must untangle their lives and begin to live separately again as two single people hoping to find that connection again. As I’ve come to learn through this course, the thought of remarriage after divorce can be a difficult concept to manage due to the lack of information and exposure of this subject from a biblical standpoint. Also, because the bible speaks of remarriage as an adulterous offense. You have heard the law that says, “A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce. But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorce woman also commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32, The New King James Version). There are very few offerings of how to conduct oneself after divorce when entering remarriage and the task that are associated such as blending families and building a foundation for a lasting marriage without carrying over baggage from the relationship with the former spouse. When entering into remarriage I believe that it is important to reflect (but not dwell) on the things that caused the demise of the initial marriage and address any areas of concern head on so as not to repeat them. I also believe that having a strong biblical and communicative foundation are key to being successful when entering into a first marriage and also when remarrying as it allows each partner to see the strengths of the other spiritually. By having a closer look into each other’s spirituality journey, you can intertwine your beliefs and make the decisions that can be beneficial to both spouses.

References- Papernow, P. L. (2013). Surviving and thriving in stepfamily relationships: What works and what doesn’t. New York, NY: Routledge. ISBN: 9780415894388.

Jessica 

The foundation of my paper next week is focused on how incarceration affects families. It is a challenging topic to tackle, but one of importance considering thousands of spouses are single-parenting and carrying a full load while their significant other is incarcerated. Scriptures is very clear, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and

anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:23). While it is true God hates divorce, He LOVES the divorcees. He never wants to see His children in discord and pain, but loves us enough to allow us the choice of free will for our lives and consequences for our decisions. 

Divorce hurts everyone involved; even if it is a “mutual” agreement to walk away from the marriage, it often leaves one or both of the people involved guarded from other potential relationships. Divorce is also a generational burden other’s will have to carry; my husband and I both come from homes where our parents were divorced, and grandparents had stayed married until their deaths. Our son has a confusing list of people in his life that are “kind of” and “like a” grandparent.. but may walk away at any moment. We are also figuring out how to provide long term care for his parents if they need to come live with us. My parents divorce was so self-centered and tragic, that I have been estranged from my biological mother for 23 years, and talk to my biological father once every few years. Neither has recovered from their divorce and their bitterness and resentment reverberates in all their relationships. 

When infidelity (I consider pornography also to be in this category), substance abuse and abuse are prevalent in the marriage, evaluating if that person (the perpetrator) is truly a believer, in conjunction with deep self-reflection should all be throughly considered before a divorce. God will use all things for our good and His glory, if we allow Him. I also think it’s important to note that there is spiritual and physical consequence for sin. If a person steps away from a marriage and never repents, and refuses to align themselves with the will of God, they have created a wedge between themselves and Him. In the same way if a person steps away from a marriage and repents, however the marriage cannot come back together, there is still a natural consequence for the sin; brokenness in marriage, separation from children ext. I appreciate Dobson’s (2007) text, because he lovingly, and I believe Biblically, sets strong and loving boundaries for those in a marriage who are hurting others. Dobson absolutely does not condone being a doormat in the name of love, but instead insists that if we truly love someone we must show them the error of their ways. Hart (1997) and Deal (2014) emphasize the challenges that families will go through, especially children, as they grieve the loss of the only normal they had ever known. While Deal (2014) offers extraordinary advice and discussions for families to engage in, there is no doubt that even a divorce that is warranted will leave wounds that only Christ can heal. 

                                                              References 

Deal, R. (2014). The smart stepfamily: The seven steps to a healthy family. Bethany House Publishers. ISBN: 9780764212062

Dobson, J. (2007). Love must be tough: New hope for marriages in crisis. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House. ISBN: 9781414317458.

Hart, A. (1997). Helping children survive divorce: What to expect; how to help. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson. ISBN: 9780849939495