Manager's pocket guide to emotional intelligence pdf

CHAPTER 1

Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Jack walked into the office where three of his sales managers were reviewing the latest sales figures. So engrossed were they in discussing the disappointing results and what might be causing the sudden downturn in business, they did not hear him approach. Jack cleared his throat rather loudly, interrupting an obviously important and spirited discussion about work. “Kelly,” he said firmly, “I need to see you about that Allied account. We need to get some information to corporate.” He turned on his heels, leaving Kelly to wrinkle up her nose and explain to her colleagues that she would have to get back to them about continuing this analysis. She quickly followed Jack to his office.

Assuming that the information corporate needed did not represent a crisis, how would you assess Jack’s handling of this situation? What effect did his approach have on Kelly and her colleagues?

Jack, like too many managers, used the “boss” technique to get what he wanted done. He demonstrated poor social skills and possibly did long-term damage to goodwill by first assuming that the obviously work-related discussion was not particularly important, and then by barging in on it. Kelly and her colleagues would have been much more interested in complying with Jack’s request had he:

1) waited until there was a good stopping point in their conversation and they acknowledged his presence;

2) greeted them with a few pleasant words; 3) asked what they were discussing and appeared

interested in hearing about it (after all, he needs to know about the sales figures, too);

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C o p y r i g h t 2 0 0 0 . H R D P r e s s .

A l l r i g h t s r e s e r v e d . M a y n o t b e r e p r o d u c e d i n a n y f o r m w i t h o u t p e r m i s s i o n f r o m t h e p u b l i s h e r , e x c e p t f a i r u s e s p e r m i t t e d u n d e r U . S . o r a p p l i c a b l e c o p y r i g h t l a w .

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

4) explained what he needed and then asked for Kelly’s input on when and how she could comply with his request for information from corporate;

5) exchanged pleasant conversation as he and Kelly walked to his office to work on the request.

This could indeed have been a crisis, but when the manager or the organization is always operating in crisis mode, there are usually management problems. It’s probably safe to conclude that Jack’s behavior in this situation is an example of low “Emotional Intelligence.”

Emotional Intelligence: A Definition

We are all familiar with the term intelligence quotient, or IQ, but few managers in today’s workplaces understand much about Emotional Intelligence — what is now being called “EQ.” Managers know a great deal about the products or services that their organizations deliver to customers, and they are becoming more knowledgeable about the technology that puts their organizations into the marketplace of ideas. When it comes to issues involving individuals or groups, however, many tend to fall short. Emotions and social skills don’t appear to be as important to success in our jobs as facts and figures and processes.

Just what is Emotional Intelligence anyway? Often called EQ (Emotional-Intelligence quotient), Emotional Intelligence refers to the array of personal-management and social skills that allows one to succeed in the workplace and life in general. EQ encompasses intuition, character, integrity, and motivation. It also includes good communication and relationship skills.

But emotions in the workplace? Surely we want to keep emotions out of the organization! The business world, after all, moves on facts and figures — or so we think. But new evidence makes a pretty compelling case that poor emotional and social skills derail more careers than lack of technical expertise or even general intelligence — what we think of as IQ.

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Interestingly, very little research has been done on the science of emotions in the past. In the last decade or so, the scientific and even business literature has been filled with new evidence explaining the neurophysiology and biochemistry of emotions and their roles in our professional and personal lives. Case studies of leaders and other successful people have added additional evidence to support the vital role of emotions in decision-making, leadership, and success in life. New research on the subject will teach us even more.

Think about your own experiences for a moment. Have you ever had a very strong “gut reaction” to a certain person or situation? Have you ever walked into a room and sensed that something was wrong, or taken a chance on something you just knew was the right thing, even though the “facts” said otherwise? Perhaps you weren’t able to explain exactly why you reacted the way you did, but the sensation was powerful. This was the voice of your intuition — the gut feeling you had stemming from past emotional experiences stored in your brain. This “knowing” is inside us all, but many of us have been trained to ignore it in favor of rationality and logic.

Balancing Emotional and Intellectual Intelligences

When managers think of emotions, they often focus on overreactions that they have witnessed in the workplace — conflict, hurt feelings, or even their own embarrassing moments. Letting emotions overpower our intellect is not what we mean by Emotional Intelligence; in fact, quite the opposite is true: out-of-control emotions are not what we want, at work or elsewhere.

On the other hand, listening only to our rational, factual side is not Emotional Intelligence, either. Feelings, instincts, and intuitions gained through experience are vital sources of information about the world around us. We operate with only half the information we need to make valid decisions when we try to use only rational, cognitively derived data. This approach does not lead to overall success within any organization or to a satisfying personal life.

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Psychologists quantify the rational thinking part of our brains; they call it “intelligence quotient,” or IQ. Psychologists and educators do not agree on exactly how to measure it nor what the numbers really mean. Nonetheless, we have some widely used and accepted measures of intelligence: An IQ of 120 tells us something about a person’s general ability, as does an IQ of 85. We have known for decades, however, that intelligence does not correlate highly with success on the job. In other words, being highly intelligent and using your cognitive skills do not guarantee success.

➢ True Emotional Intelligence is being able to appropriately call upon information from the emotional center of the brain, and balance that with information from the rational center of the brain.

Based on a number of recent studies, experts now believe that IQ, or general intelligence, contributes no more than 25% to one’s overall success. Sure, it helps to be born with brainpower and even to develop it, but this is not enough for success in life or success in management. Some may advance the idea that having expertise in a certain field determines success; developing strong technical competency or specific intelligence in your chosen field can indeed be a necessary step for initial entry into the field, yet competency fails to add much to the success equation. Most experts believe it contributes only 10–20% to success.

So, if it’s not just IQ and it’s not just technical expertise, what else makes up the remainder of the formula for success — that remaining 55–65%? Case studies and longitudinal studies by highly regarded leaders give us a clue: Opportunity or serendipity adds a few percentage points, but many well- respected leaders create their own opportunities. They are able to do so because they rank high on all dimensions of Emotional Intelligence.

It is EQ that allows us to express preferences in decision- making, passionately pursue a goal, control our temper, and offer persuasive arguments for or against an idea. EQ explains

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

why we like certain people better than others, and helps us get along with the ones we don’t. It is EQ that helps us establish relationships and become politically savvy in the office, and it is what keeps us going in difficult times. If you think business is or should be based only on rational skills, the newest research would urge you to rethink this notion: Emotional Intelligence is the most fundamental dimension of leadership today and in the foreseeable future, and the higher we aspire to or rise in leadership positions, the more important it becomes.

Toward a Model of EQ

Emotional Intelligence, because of its “people-focus,” is based on sound competency in two major dimensions: Self and Social. The high-EQ person must have knowledge and a positive attitude, and behave skillfully in the Self and Social dimensions.

Emotional Intelligence has been broken down into six areas, defined as follows:

SELF Dimension of Emotional Intelligence Our Emotional Intelligence comes, in part, from our understanding and acceptance of ourselves in three areas:

1. Knowledge = Self-Awareness: Accurately knowing our own feelings, preferences, goals, and values; sensing how others feel about us, and using that information to guide our behavior.

2. Attitude = Self-Confidence: A “can-do” attitude, a belief in ourselves; overcoming self-doubt and taking reasonable risk; being assertive and not aggressive; being goal-directed; admitting mistakes and moving on.

3. Behavior = Self-Control: Dealing well with stress; controlling emotional moods or outbursts without overcontrol; being adaptable; balancing rational and emotional considerations.

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

SOCIAL Dimension of Emotional Intelligence The other three facets of Emotional Intelligence have to do with the experience and interactions with others — our social relationships:

4. Knowledge = Empathy: Easily reading and understanding others; having empathy; listening well; reading non-verbal cues.

5. Attitude = Motivation: Taking initiative; having a positive outlook; being creative; inspiring others; doing things we believe in and are committed to.

6. Behavior = Social Competency: Finding common ground to establish rapport and minimize conflict; persuading and influencing others; being likable and having positive relationships; having integrity.

The six facets in Emotional Intelligence are illustrated in the model, which we refer to as the K-A-B Model (see p. 7).

There is an overlap between the Self and Social dimensions (we get some of our “self” information, and our attitude, from “social” relationships). Our knowledge, attitude, and behavior also intermingle, which is why the lines in the model are broken lines to show that the boundaries between the facets are fluid.

The rest of this Pocket Guide will introduce you to the science behind what we are now calling Emotional Intelligence and help you assess where your EQ needs bolstering. In it, we will explain the value of emotions at work, and provide you with specific techniques to improve your own EQ. The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence will help you grow as a person and as a professional, and help you become more successful and more satisfied with your life and work.

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Self Dimension of Emotional Intelligence

Knowledge: Self-Awareness Attitude: Self-Confidence Behavior: Self-Control

Attitude Self-Confidence

Knowledge Self-Awareness

Behavior Self-Control

Behavior Social Competency

Knowledge Empathy

Attitude Motivation

SELF DIMENSION

SOCIAL DIMENSION

SELF DIMENSION

SOCIAL DIMENSION

Social Dimension of Emotional Intelligence

Knowledge: Empathy Attitude: Motivation Behavior: Social Competency

K-A-B Model of Emotional Intelligence

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The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Improving Your EQ

Your EQ can continue to increase over your lifetime, and can even be improved in every arena of your life. In fact, life itself is the laboratory where we build greater EQ. You can work on your Emotional Intelligence when you are alone, or when you are with your employees, co-workers, family, friends, neighbors, or acquaintances. It will take 3–6 months to make any substantial improvement in Emotional Intelligence, but the payoff is worth it if you answer yes to any of these questions:

Do you want to be more in control at work or at home?

Would you like to be able to deal more effectively with personal stress?

Would you like to have a wider circle of influence?

Do you want to commit to and move ahead with your goals?

Would you like people around you to be more productive?

Do you long to take risks and overcome your fear of change?

Would you like to develop a more positive and hopeful attitude?

And, finally, do you want to live a more satisfying and successful life?

We can’t really separate the rational from the emotional any more than we can separate our work from our personal lives. The quality of one is inextricably linked to the other: what we learn off the job translates into lessons on the job, and vice versa. The positive discipline and positive reinforcement you use with your child, for example, can be duplicated with your employees; relating better with your workers will bring positive rewards at home, as well.

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Defining Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotions need not be a problem in the workplace; the right ones augment productivity and workplace harmony, but it takes EQ to know how to manage them. Many people have the title of “manager” but are simply ineffective in their positions. Real leaders are those who actively inspire and motivate others, create teamwork, and achieve outstanding results; they model the behavior they want to see in their employees. Emotional Intelligence can move you from management to leadership, and make the people at the top sit up and take notice of your contributions to the company.

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