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What You Need

TO LEAD an Early Childhood Program

Emotional Intelligence in Practice

Holly Elissa Bruno

National Association for the Education of Young Children Washington, DC

National Association for the Education of Young Children 1313 L Street NW, Suite 500 Washington, DC 20005-4101 202-232-8777 • 800-424-2460 www.naeyc.org

NAEYC Books

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Through its publications program, the National As- sociation for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) provides a forum for discus- sion of major issues and ideas in the early childhood field, with the hope of pro- voking thought and promot- ing professional growth. The views expressed or implied in this book are not necessar- ily those of the Association or its members.

Permissions “To a Robin in Lent,” from THE WAVE-MAKER by Elizabeth Spires. Copy- right © 2008 by Elizabeth Spires. Used by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc. Finding Strengths Exercise © Dr. Claire Forest. Used with permission from Dr. Katie Palmer House and Dr. Claire Forest, Empowerment Skills for Family Workers: Instructor Manual. To order the original publication, see www. FamilyDevelopmentCredential.org/publications.php. The National Family Development Credential Program is located at the University of Connecticut, Pediatrics Dept.

Credits Cover and inside photos: copyright © by Ellen Senisi Contributing editor: Catherine Cauman Copy editor: Lisa Cook

What You Need to Lead an Early Childhood Program: Emotional Intelligence in Practice Copyright © 2012 by the National Association for the Education of Young Children. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011943664 ISBN: 978-1-928896-80-7 NAEYC Item # 363

Holly Elissa Bruno, MA, JD, attorney and keynote speaker, hosts the online radio program Heart to Heart Conversa- tions on Leadership: Your Guide to Making a Difference on bamradionetwork.com. She teaches graduate leadership and law courses at Wheelock College and National Louis University’s McCormick Center for Early Childhood Leader- ship. Having served as assistant attorney general for the state of Maine, assistant dean at the University of Maine School of Law, and dean of faculty and associate profes- sor at University of Maine–Augusta (UMA), she was named UMA’s Outstanding Professor.

Holly Elissa’s keynotes engage and inspire audiences from Reykjavik, Iceland, to Budapest, Hungary, and from Honolulu, Hawaii, to Anchorage, Miami, Chicago, Austin, San Diego, Tulsa, and Spearfish, South Dakota. She believes early childhood leadership is one of the most powerful positions anyone can hold.

About the Author

Thank you to my mentors: Michael Gonta, Nelle Smither, Arthur LaFrance, Madeline Birmingham, and each of my students from West Charlotte Senior High School. With appreciation to the guests on my radio program, Heart to Heart Conver- sations on Leadership: Your Guide to Making a Difference, beginning with Louis Cozolino in 2010. Thank you, inspiring and steadfast colleagues: Kay Albrecht, Lorna Backus, Sue Baldwin, Ruth Ann Ball, Paula Jorde Bloom, David Bloomfield, Joanna Booth-Miner, Pam Boulton, Suzi Brodof, Beverlyn Cain, Vicki Calderone, Mary Cecchinato, Hooray Childers, Neila Connors, Doreen Dubuque, Bess Emanual, Virginia Epps, Marcia Farris, Robin Fox, Cynthia Gamez, Janet Gonzalez-Mena, Marsha Hawley, David Heath, Luis Hernandez, Joyce Holman, Gwen Hooper, Cathy Jones, Liz Kendall, Otto Kroeger, Marie Ellen Larcada, Dawn Lui, Michelle Manganaro, Evette McCarthy, Kiki McWilliams, Barb Milner, Gladys Montes, Gwen Morgan, Bonnie and Roger Neugebauer, Sue Offutt, Kyra Ostendorf, Bjork Ottarsdottir, Sandy Owen, Betty Pearsall, Rae Pica, Peter Pizzolongo, Helen Post Brown, Donna Rafanello, Hile Rutledge, Jorge Saenz De Viteri, Alicia Smith, Errol St. Clair Smith, Jo-anne Spence, Debra Sullivan, Barbara Tacchi, Alan Taylor, Julie and Larry Thorner, Ann Terrell, Kim Tice & team, Nancy Toso, Susan Twombly, P. Gail Wilson, Vernon Wilson, and Nancy Witherill. With gratitude for the support of Adrienne Beaupre, Catherine Cauman, Marina Colonas, Judy Conway, Joyce Dattle, Gita Devi, Douglass College alumnae, Wendy Dun- ning, Akimi Gibson, Jane Gottko Marcozzi, David Hoffman, Derry Koralek, Jay Manning, Jo Obin, Jan Patten, Cindy Popp-Hager, Jacqueline Raicek, Brian Roach, Ronni Rowland, Karen Vivieros, Brandy Ward, and Caitlyn Williams. With a smile to mia famiglia, Nick and Lily Bruno-Hymoff, Richard Harrison, Lynne Bissonnette Pitre, Louise Riggs Bruner, Vincenzo Bruno, the Gorg family, Karen Bruner Hull, Art and Concetta Bruno, Susan Bruno, Toby Grapelli, and Walla.

Acknowledgments

For Michael Gonta, who, in two months, 56 years ago, made this moment possible.

Contents

Preface.........................................................................................................................................................................vii

Part I—Forming: Setting Up the Program and Yourself for Success.........................................................................1 Chapter 1 Five Essential Leadership Competencies: You Heard It Here.......................................................3

Chapter 2 Smart Heart-to-Heart Leadership: Honoring Emotional Intelligence.........................................15

Chapter 3 Making Tough Decisions: The Art and Science of Decision Making..........................................31

Chapter 4 Leading on Purpose: The Road to Making a Difference...............................................................51

Part II—Storming: Identifying, Preventing, and Addressing Resistance to Change...........................................77 Chapter 5 Getting Started: Wherever You Are Is the Place to Begin............................................................79

Chapter 6 Partnering with Change.....................................................................................................................95

Chapter 7 Preventing Legal Issues: Policies and Procedures......................................................................115

Chapter 8 Creating a Community of Problem Solvers: Winners, Not Whiners.........................................129

Part III—Norming: Establishing Management Systems..........................................................................................147 Chapter 9 Supervision and Staff Development: Social EQ in Action..........................................................149

Chapter 10 Financial Management: Holding the Purse Strings...................................................................173

Chapter 11 Do No Harm: Building Safe, Sustainable, Healthy Learning Environments..........................193

Chapter 12 Curriculum Choices: Roots and Wings......................................................................................217

Chapter 13 Marketing and Development: If You Build It, They Will Come...............................................233

Part IV—Performing: Putting Principles into Practice.................................................................................249 Chapter 14 Every Child’s Family: Building Partnerships.............................................................................251

Chapter 15 Quest for Quality: Professionalism Isn’t Just a 15-Letter Word..............................................269

Part V—Re-Forming: Renewing, Refreshing, Dreaming of What Might Be........................................................293 Chapter 16 Leadership Principles to Take with You: Learning to Love the Questions...........................295

vii

Preface

What do you need to succeed as a leader?

• Proper academic credentials

• Solid business plan

• Articulated vision and mission

• Budgeting expertise

• Knowledge of the latest leadership theory

• Well-designed buildings with green play areas

• Mastery of health and safety standards

• Time management expertise

You may have all of these capacities and still be struggling as an early childhood leader. What are you missing? You know the answer: Relationships. Unless we can build and maintain honest, productive, and dynamic relationships with everyone we encounter, we cannot be excellent leaders. Unless we can build effec- tive teams, our carefully crafted vision statement will gather dust. Unless we inspire our staff’s trust, we cannot bring out their best. Unless we earn the respect of families, our business plan will never be fulfilled. Without people skills, even the most stellar aca- demic credentials are just capital letters after our name. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” With these words, poet Maya Angelou reminds us of how invaluable it is to build connections with the people we en- counter. This ability to put people at ease, earn their trust, and inspire their dedication to quality is called emotional intelligence (EQ). What You Need to Lead an Early Childhood Program: Emotional Intelligence in Practice is the first and only early childhood leadership book anchored in what matters most: EQ, the art and science of building relationships. Emotional intelligence is the ability to read people as well as you read books and to know how to use that informa- tion wisely. Each chapter begins with a case study that features richly complex, every- day challenges facing early childhood program directors. Alongside case studies are EQ theory and principles, pointers and problem-solving steps to help you practice and hone your leadership skills. To lead with EQ is to read the story behind the story. Can you hear the cry for help beneath a parent’s outburst? Or the unstated fear that sabotages a teacher’s openness

viii Preface

to a new approach? Leading an early childhood program requires learning the unspo- ken language of every individual and team. Valuable as rational analysis is, logic cannot translate these languages. Author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s Little Prince explains: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Emotional intelligence is not magic, nor is it “soft” science. EQ can be measured and learned. Current research in the growing field of neuroscience documents the physical, neuron-to-neuron impact we have on one another. For example, without one word being spoken, the human heart electromagnetically communicates a “Great to see you” or “Keep your distance” message to people within five feet of us. In addition, research shows that the brain’s ability to make effective consecutive decisions declines after three or four hours. Yet, how many of us forge ahead, unaware that our brain has hit the snooze button? Sixty-five to ninety percent of human emotion is communicated without words. Leaders need to listen with the heart as well as the mind. Our leadership practices, informed by neuroscience research, can be sharpened and polished to greater effectiveness. Thanks to f MRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging), research on the adult brain is now as compelling as research on the newborn to three-year-old’s brain. Knowledge liberates. When we know how the brain func- tions, we can partner with its idiosyncrasies and not feel restrained by uncomfortable thoughts and reactions. To lead with EQ is to lead with confidence and integrity. As we build and refine our EQ capacities, our confidence as leaders grows commensurately. What You Need to Lead an Early Childhood Program: Emotional Intelligence in Prac- tice covers the entire realm of a leader’s responsibilities, from financial management to marketing, supervision to assessment, and health and safety to preventing legal troubles. What makes this book unique and engaging is the human focus in each of these areas. What You Need to Lead is the new edition of Leading on Purpose: Emotionally Intelli- gent Early Childhood Administration. This edition incorporates the latest research, theo- ries, and practices a leader must know, while retaining the best of the original book. Examples of new and updated topics include:

• Research findings by Adam Bryant on the five essential skills of successful leaders

• How to avoid legal troubles in the age of social networking

• Courage: What is it, where do we find it, how do we use it?

• QRIS: New evaluation tools to assess our leadership and our programs

• Using the brain to stay cool under pressure—the neuroscience of button pushing

• Eliminating whining in the workplace

• New practices to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act, as Amended (enacted January 1, 2009)

• Working with immigrant families, legally and culturally

• Gender issues in leadership

• When should a leader apologize?

• What do you do if your boss is the problem?

• Managing Millennials, Gen-Xers, and Baby Boomers in the same workplace

• Building teams where women predominate

ixPreface

The new edition also features podcasts of interviews with a variety of early child- hood professionals. Starting in 2010, as the host of the online radio program Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership: Your Guide to Making a Difference (bamradionet- work.com), I have had the pleasure of conducting live interviews with experts, authors, practitioners, and futurists in the field of educational leadership. Interviews with Neila Connors (If You Don’t Feed the Teachers, They Eat the Students), Meg Wheatley (The New Science and Walk Out, Walk On), Adam Bryant (The Corner Office), Phyllis Chesler (Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman), Robert Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss), Stephanie Feeney (Professionalism in Early Childhood), Roy Baumeister (Willpower), and Rick Kirschner (Dealing with People You Can’t Stand) are a click away! Their answers are revealing and thought provoking. Thanks to those interviews, What You Need to Lead shimmers with direct quota- tions and insights not found anywhere else. I ask the questions most of us want to ask but feel we shouldn’t; my guests open up and tell the truth. The links to the podcasts of these interviews are noted in the page margins, so you can follow them online. Telling the truth is the core of What You Need to Lead. As you turn each page, you are invited to resolve sticky dilemmas, identify your underlying gifts, activate your sense of humor, illuminate your blind spots, apply the latest leadership theories, and be the best leader you can be. This book honors your individual learning style through a variety of print, online, and hands-on resources. The following resources are conveniently featured in the mar- gins and highlighted in the text:

• Opportunities to assess where you stand on issues

• Case studies to ponder and resolve

• Quotations to inspire you

• Podcasts featuring interviews with leadership experts

• Invitations to reflect on what you have learned from your own experience

• Choices about which steps you will take next

In addition, if you lead workshops or are a teacher educator, at the end of each chapter there are questions for reflection and team projects to engage participants in professional development sessions and to extend the learning of students in early child- hood education courses. Finally, as an attorney, I have given special attention to the legal conundrums early childhood leaders face: providing and acquiring authentic references for job applicants; handling custody disputes at pickup time; instituting no-babysitting policies; allow- ing smokers to work with young children; facing an intoxicated parent walking out the door with her infant; and preventing confidential or otherwise damaging material from appearing online. The text includes policies, procedures, and, above all, clear (nonle- galese) and direct information. With emotional intelligence and accurate information, you will find what you need to lead in each page you turn. Your response to What You Need to Lead matters to me. I value your feedback, insights, questions, and ideas for change. Contact me at hollyelissabruno.com. Now, read on to explore the uncharted territories of original leadership!

Forming Setting Up the Program and Yourself for Success

Part I

1. Five Essential Leadership Competencies: You Heard It Here

2. Smart Heart-to-Heart Leadership: Honoring Emotional Intelligence

3. Making Tough Decisions: The Art and Science of Decision Making

4. Leading on Purpose: The Road to Making a Difference

1 Five Essential Leadership Competencies: You Heard It Here

Case Study—Vanessa Director Vanessa is in a bind. She’s been nominated for president of her AEYC affiliate organization and is scared she will fail. Vanessa works well behind the scenes, loves getting results, and seems to please everyone. She knows, however, that as president she will have to address long-standing organizational power struggles and speak in front of hundreds of people. Both of these prospects scare her silly. At times, Vanessa feels like an imposter: “Everyone thinks I have it all together. If they knew the terrible mistakes I’ve made, they would kick my sorry self to the curb!” Should Vanessa run for president, given the internal and external challenges she is sure to face? Do leaders have to present a false image of perfection in order to succeed?

There is a close relationship between truth and trust. —Fred Rogers, You Are Special

3

Would you believe me if I told you that early childhood leadership is one of the most important jobs anyone could ever hold? Who else inspires children to love learning for the rest of their lives? Who else welcomes and embraces every child’s family—newly arrived immigrants, single dads, elderly grandparents, two moms, and teen parents? Who else squarely faces and addresses legal issues that set the precedent for every educational institution that follows? Who else goes home at the end of the day, exhausted for sure but knowing without a doubt that she or he has made a difference in someone’s life?

4 Part I Forming

Effective leaders are forever learning, both about their own strengths and chal- lenges and about what makes relationships work. Not every lesson we learn is neat or pretty; supervising resistant staff members can put us face-to-face with our own blind spots. We may not be able to help every child with special needs or prevent our budget from being cut to the bone. We can, however, choose our own attitude, whatever comes our way. In early childhood, we lead through relationships. We touch other people deeply, just as they touch us. Building healthy, happy relationships is both an art and a science. Beginning right now, shall we set off on a treasure hunt to discover what we need to lead, humbly and elegantly, powerfully and gently? We’ll stop to explore eye-popping neuroscientific studies, liberating theories of leadership, and the hard-earned wisdom of seasoned colleagues. Our quest? To uncover the hidden dynamics of effective rela- tionships so we can lead with savvy and authenticity, never leaving home without our sense of humor. Are you ready? Here’s the first clue.

Heart-to-heart conversations on leadership Did you intend to become a leader? Some of us, without our planning it, discover we have to make a choice: Step up to lead, or forever after wonder what we might have missed. Late in 2009, I received a curious e-mail with an even more curious question: Would I create and host an online radio program for education leaders? BAM radio network’s Emmy award-winning executive producer, Errol St. Clair Smith, promised I could inter- view anyone I wanted and ask whatever questions I chose. Join us, he said, in pushing the envelope in educational journalism. Who likes to fail, especially publicly? Not me, that’s for sure. Yet how else would I learn unless I risked failure? Despite the steepest of learning curves, I knew I needed to step up. I accepted Errol’s challenge. As I often say, “Life’s too short to be boring.” Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership: Your Guide to Making a Difference “went live” in 2010 on the Leaders Channel. Now, with one quick click at your computer to http://bamradionetwork.com, you can tune in to podcasts and hear leaders, experts, authors, and colleagues tell their truths and share their latest research on what leaders need to succeed. When people are asked to share what matters, they generally do. Each of my guests levels, “heart to heart,” about his or her hard-earned leadership lessons—what we need to leave behind and what we need to undertake. Those leaders’ experiences, research, and insights prove that effective leaders manage through relationships, not control. In fact, leading is relating. This book is for smart, heart-to-heart, everyday leaders—the relationship builders. It shines a light on the qualities of the best leaders and guides us in making our own light shine a little brighter.

Indispensable and unexpected lessons Pulitzer Prize–winning New York Times journalist Adam Bryant wanted answers about what makes a leader successful. For his book The Corner Office: Indispensable and Unex- pected Lessons from CEOs on How to Lead and Succeed (2011), Bryant taped more than 70 interviews with leaders from disparate fields. Among them are Teach for America’s

Leaders aren’t neces- sarily the smartest people in the organiza- tion, but they are the best students of human nature. . . . A leader’s real job is to ask ques- tions, not to have the answers.

—Adam Bryant (podcast)

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.

—Isak Dinesen Out of Africa

5Chapter 1 Five Essential Leadership Competencies

founder and CEO, Wendy Kopp; the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater’s artistic direc- tor, Judith Jamison; Harvard University’s president, Drew Gilpin Faust; and Disney’s CEO, Roger Iger. In his interviews Bryant booted out the usual questions, like “What are the most important competencies leaders need?” Instead, he asked soaring questions: “How do you do what you do?” . . . “How did you learn to do what you do?” . . . “What lessons have you learned that you can share with others?” Bryant found the results—the five traits of successful leaders listed above—both “indispensable and unexpected.” As you manage through relationships, these strengths will serve you well. Let’s dive for pearls in each of Bryant’s findings.

u EXERCISE YOUR EQ n Which traits describe you? Which is your greatest strength? Which is an area for improvement?

Passionate curiosity Do you love learning more than you fear failing? Are you willing to set aside presump- tions and challenge your own thinking? Passionately curious leaders

wrestle with tough issues. . . . They ask big-picture questions. They seem like eager students who devour insights and lessons, and are genuinely, enthusiastically inter- ested in everything going on around them. . . . They wonder why things work the way they do and whether those things can be improved upon. They want to know people’s stories, and what they do. (Bryant 2011, 13)

The leader doesn’t have to be the smartest person in the organiza- tion, Bryant noted when I interviewed him. Instead, effective leaders are the “best students of human nature” (podcast). The mental agility fostered by boundless curiosity allows a leader to take risks and envision alternatives, even when the proven approach still works. Motivated by the desire to stay fresh and be more effective, passionately curious leaders question what others take for granted. They often lead first and analyze later. In his book, Bryant quotes the CEO of technology company Nvidia, Jen-Hsun Huang, as saying, “I ac- tually like making decisions with intuition. I like to validate the decision with analytics. I don’t believe you can analyze your way into success. I think it’s too complicated. You have to use intuition, which is everything—your artistic sensibility, your intellectual sensibility, experience” (2011, 15). Roger Neugebauer, cofounder with his wife, Bonnie, of the World Forum Founda- tion, carries his passionate curiosity to a global level. About wanting to see with his

He is educated who knows where to find out what he doesn’t know.

—Georg Simmel

Bam!radio

“The 5 Traits of Successful Education Leaders”

Interview with Adam Bryant

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership

http://bamradionetwork.com

Bryant’s Five Traits of Successful Leaders Passionate curiosity: Deep sense of engagement with the world; burning need to

know “What’s it all about?” Battle-hardened confidence: Track record of facing down, learning from, and grow-

ing stronger through adversity. Team smarts: Bringing the best out of staff teams, by using or altering the organiza-

tion’s unwritten rules. Simple mindset: Ability to see through information overload to the heart of the matter. Fearlessness: Willingness to think differently, despite pressure or inertia, and risk

making changes for the better.

6 Part I Forming

Bam!radio

“Why Education Leaders Can’t Succeed Without Thinking Globally”

Interview with Roger Neugebauer

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership

http:/bamradionetwork.com

own eyes and hear with his own ears what early educators around the globe are doing for children, Neugebauer observed,

Children in our care right now will inherit a vastly different world. My grandparents grew up in South Dakota and never left their county. My parents didn’t travel outside the country until they were in their 60s. Bonnie and I didn’t travel internationally until we were 22. Our children, before they were 21, had traveled to Estonia, India, Turkey, Russia, China, and New Zealand. I can’t fathom what the world will be like for our grandchildren. (podcast)

Each time Roger and Bonnie prepare for the next World Forum, they travel the world, meeting and dialoguing with educators . . . from Afghanistan, Kenya, South Af- rica, Malaysia. In their travels, they are endlessly curious, passionate about discovering leaders who are making a difference and, as a result, forever learning.

u EXERCISE YOUR EQ n  What sparks your curiosity? Are you always on a quest to learn and understand more? What compels you to remain a lifelong learner?

Battle-hardened confidence Vanessa, in the chapter case study, has a track record of getting results. She is well respected enough by colleagues to be nominated for a vital leadership position. Yet Vanessa doubts herself and feels like “the great pretender.” What would it take for Van- essa to overcome her self-doubt and confidently lead her affiliate? Bryant discovered that successful leaders share a second trait: hard-earned con- fidence in their ability to learn from and face down adversity. Confidence is rarely the same as cockiness. Self-doubt, unlike humility, is not always productive. What kind of confidence in their abilities must leaders have? In his book, Bryant says of these lead- ers, “They have a track record of overcoming adversity, of failing and getting up off the mat to get the job done. They have battle-hardened confidence” (2011, 24). They may have faced adversity in their professional lives or their personal lives, or both. Wherev- er the difficulty is, leaders don’t run from it. Bryant quotes Nvidia’s Huang as observing, “There are some people who, in the face of adversity, become more calm” (25). Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp wanted to know the “personal character- istics that differentiate the people among our teachers who are the most successful” (Bryant 2011, 30–31). Kopp’s researchers discovered perseverance is a successful teacher’s most important trait. Kopp describes persevering teachers as

people who, in the context of a challenge . . . have the instinct to figure out what they can control, and to own it, rather than to blame everyone else in the system. And you can see why in this case. Kids, kids’ families, the system—there are so many people to blame. . . . And it’s so much about that mindset—the internal locus of control, and the instinct to stay optimistic in the face of a challenge. (Bryant 2011, 31)

Perhaps bleeps and bumps on a résumé indicate more depth than a résumé with a perfect record. Facing the worst and squeezing out the best hones a kind of battle- hardened confidence. Having survived battles, a leader knows that each new problem is one more in a line of challenges that can be dealt with and learned from. After all, as the folk saying goes: “A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.” Gus Lee, ethics faculty member at West Point, summarizes battle-hardened confi- dence in one word: courage. Lee defines courage as the “ability to identify your highest possible moral action and then to do it without worrying about risk to self” (podcast). To act with courage, Lee says, leaders need discernment along with critical thinking. To

There is no education like adversity.

—Benjamin Disraeli British prime minister

The wise don’t expect to find life worth living; they make it that way.

—Anonymous

7Chapter 1 Five Essential Leadership Competencies

discern what to do when facing adversity, Lee recommends a three-part process. Ask:

• What’s the most selfish thing I can do? (The answer is always obvious, Lee says.)

• What is the most pragmatic thing I can do, that would solve the problem and in the process make me look good? (Again, Lee notes the answer to this question is often easy.)

• What’s my highest possible moral act? What’s my purpose, my highest goal, and what must I do, regardless of fear? (With battle-hardened confidence, choosing the high- est moral act becomes more natural.)

Lee warns that we tend not to use this resource—our ability to discern—enough. Equipped with battle-hardened confidence, we are more likely to stand alone, when we have to, to do the right thing. Otherwise, lacking battle-hardened confidence, we make fewer courageous decisions. Lee observes: “The moment my staff senses I am acting out of self-interest, fear, or cowardice, I can no longer lead. Leaders must inspire others to be their best selves. If a leader doesn’t inspire that, he’s just a manager” (pod- cast). In keeping with Bryant’s observations about risk taking for the greater good, Lee adds, “Once we decide holding our job is our top priority, we sacrifice courage.”

Team smarts Team smarts begins with an “understanding that teamwork is built on a foundation of one-on-one interactions among people, an unwritten contract that has nothing to do with business cards, organizational charts, or titles” (Bryant 2011, 41). With team smarts, leaders “know how to create a sense of mission and how to make people feel like everyone’s getting credit. They know how to build a sense of commitment in a group” (40–41). Much of team smarts sounds like using EQ—emotional intel- ligence, or the ability to read people as well as we read books—and then acting wisely on that information. Bryant quotes Susan Lyne, CEO of Gilt Groupe: “I think that I now have a very strong antenna for someone who is going to be poison within a company” (2011, 50). Trusting our gut instinct about an employee often pays off. How many of us have held on to an employee either because we hoped she might change or because we feared we wouldn’t find anyone bet- ter? Team smarts adds up to trusting our gut to say goodbye to the poor performer, opening the door to a more qualified applicant. In our interview, Liz Wiseman and Greg McKeown invited us all to evaluate our team smarts as staff motivators (podcast). Their research shows that 48 percent of leaders fail to bring out the best in their employees. Called “Diminishers,” these bosses assume that employees cannot accomplish difficult tasks on their own. A faulty assumption made by Diminishers is to falsely assume that they can involve staff only in low-stakes issues. Lacking in team smarts, a leader may undermine the team’s motivation to perform well. In contrast, the leader with team smarts and emotional intelligence tones down her “enlightened” presence to put the spotlight on her staff’s potential. A leader with team smarts is a “Multiplier,” say Wiseman and McKeown. Multipliers devote significant time to listening to and observing their employees. With passionate curiosity, a Multiplier takes the time to uncover what matters to each employee. Does Reginald adore pro football? Ask Reginald how his favorite NFL coach’s team smarts might be appropriate to use with young children.

Think about yourself and the people you work with. What have you each been through in your life? What got you here? What makes you worth knowing—and trusting? What fires your creativity? What makes you real—and valuable? If I can’t know what you feel, what matters to you, then . . . we are little more than a face and a name to each other; you are not deep or alive to me, nor I to you.

—Robert K. Cooper and Ayman Sawaf

Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and

Organizations

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

—Mother Teresa

Bam!radio

“Do You Have the Courage to Be an Effective Educational Leader?”

Interview with Gus Lee

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership

“Leadership Styles: What Works, What Works Better”

Interview with Liz Wiseman

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership

http://bamradionetwork.com

8 Part I Forming

To develop team smarts, Wiseman and McKeown (podcast) encourage us to:

• Move out of “answer mode” and into “question mode.” Effective leaders know that the best questions cause people to think.

• Assess how you might be inadvertently discouraging your staff.

• Operate in a mode of intellectual curiosity: Listen to learn.

• Go beyond what is comfortable. Commit to discovering each employee’s hidden value, especially those employees you assume are the team’s weak links.

As Bryant (2011) says, a leader with team smarts not only knows the unwritten rules of the organization but also chooses wisely which of those rules to overthrow and which to honor. One unwritten rule may be: “The director will rewrite everything we do, so don’t bother to write well.” The leader with team smarts knows to amend that unwritten rule through word and action: “Do your best writing; I appreciate that.” Does your leadership challenge teachers to step up and be leaders in their class- room and beyond? Leaders with team smarts move out of the limelight to let their employees shine. Wiseman tells us even to tone down our billowing enthusiasm to make room for teachers’ enthusiasm to bubble up. In doing so, you may discover and multiply employee contributions.

Simple mindset Do you feel pressured or distracted by the flurry of data available to you? If you feel overwhelmed, imagine how you might be flooding your own team with “TMI” . . . too much information! Everyone appreciates the person who sees and tells the simple truth. With a no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase approach, a leader can focus a team’s attention. Bryant (2011) says the best leaders avoid information overload, and instead extract the one or two things that matter. He makes the point, for example, that most people don’t pay much attention to PowerPoint presentations that go on and on. All those lists and charts and cute cartoons may entertain, but do they tell you what’s im- portant? “Death by PowerPoint” is Bryant’s label for such unnecessary complexity. Why deliver an hour-long presentation when five minutes would be more effective? Maintain- ing a simple mindset is the fourth trait of powerful leaders. What does Bryant mean by “simple”? Consider the presenter who skips the PowerPoint altogether and “simply talks, giving a short pitch for her idea, backed up with three key facts” (2011, 52). We all deal with TMI. Torrents of data flow at us from our computer screens. How can we sort through information overload to pinpoint what matters most? The leader who cuts to the chase clears a path to her staff. Concise leaders are respected and powerful. Keep it simple. Keep it clear. Business leader Guy Kawasaki complains,

Schools could do a better job teaching the value of brevity. . . . What you learn in school is the opposite of what happens in the real world. In school, you’re always wor- ried about minimums. You have to reach 20 pages and 50 slides. They should teach students how to communicate in five-sentence e-mails and with 10-slide PowerPoint presentations. . . . No one wants to read War and Peace e-mails. Who has the time? Ditto with 60 PowerPoint slides for a one-hour meeting. (Bryant 2011, 55)

Author Russell Bishop (podcast) maintains that program staff and family hand- books are frequently weighed down by wordy, tiresome, and often outmoded policies and procedures. Sure, we require new employees to initial that they have read and un- derstand these policies. But can a new employee fully understand what policy B-4.c in

There’s an ocean of data on the Internet we all have access to, just a few clicks away. The leader has the ability to look at that ocean and pull out 13 things that matter. As a leader you need to distill the message.

—Adam Bryant (podcast)

Fear can push us to obfuscate or to cover up our own lack of cer- tainty with long-winded, confusing explanations. Courage allows us to tell it like it is.

Go to http://multipliers- book.com/accidental- diminisher to take a brief quiz.

9Chapter 1 Five Essential Leadership Competencies

Section IV means? Leaders have the power to use the simple mindset to streamline those policies and make them into living, meaningful guideposts. Bishop calls his simple mindset approach the “stop, start, and continue” process. Use this process with your team to cut out the fat in long-winded, hard-to-understand policies. Simplify your staff and parent handbooks so everyone is clear on expectations. Imagine that a staff member who initials that she has “read and understood” everything in the staff handbook actually means it! To initiate the stop, start, and continue process to simplify policies:

• STOP using unnecessary or wordy sections in the policy.

• START writing simple policies.

• CONTINUE using policies that work.

Bishop has seen cumbersome documents reduced to one meaningful cut-to-the- chase statement that everyone understands and can rally behind. For example, let’s apply his stop, start, and continue method to policies for online communication. Many Internet policies are pages long, referencing every imaginable social networking site and terms relevant to those sites. For example, a Facebook policy might enumerate who can be “friended” and who cannot. By the time such a policy is posted, three new social networking sites will have leapt into popularity and current sites will have bitten the dust. To simplify your Internet policy with Bishop’s simple mindset approach: • STOP: Ask, “Why do we need an Internet usage policy?” • START: Identify what your bottom line on Internet usage should be. • CONTINUE: Save anything worthwhile in the current policy. Internet policies require staff to be as professional online as they are in person. A simple professionalism policy (more on this in Chapter 7) will set a standard for online behavior that will outlast today’s wordy list. Pick up your handbook. Do you need to lift weights to do that comfortably? If so, now is the time to “Simplify, simplify,” as Thoreau advised us in the nineteenth century.

u EXERCISE YOUR EQ n This simple mindset trait can take time to develop. Can you explain what your work is in one minute? Which of your policies could use a start, stop, and continue overhaul?

Fearlessness Do you see yourself as a fearless leader? Fearlessness is the willingness to do the right thing regardless of the consequences. You may lose colleagues. You may be ridiculed. You may hear: “You’re fired!” My Head Start colleague Dennis Ichikawa describes fear- lessness as stepping into the dark guided by your inner light. To assess our level of fearlessness, Bryant asks:

• Are you comfortable being uncomfortable?

• Do you get bored when things seem too settled?

• Do you like situations where there’s no road map or compass?

• Do you start twitching when things are operating smoothly, and want to shake things up?

Bam!radio

“Silly Teacher Policies: How to Change Them”

Interview with Russell Bishop and Deborah J. Stewart (8/16/11)

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership (Leaders Channel)

http://bamradionetwork.com

I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my ca- reer. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

—Michael Jordan

10 Part I Forming

• Are you willing to make surprising career moves to learn new skills?

• Is discomfort your comfort zone? (2011, 62)

Ursula Burns of Xerox describes fearlessness as

Seeing an opportunity even though things are not broken. The company is not headed toward a wall. It’s not broken, but there is definitely a way to do it better and someone will actually say, “Things are good, but I’m going to destabilize them because they can be much better and should be much better.” (quoted in Bryant 2011, 63)

To be fearless, leaders need to let go of the belief that security is more important than truth. No one said being fearless is easy. Valora Washington, founder of the CAYL (Community Advocates for Young Learn- ers) Institute and president and CEO of the Council for Professional Recognition,

embodies this willingness to take action and shake things up. In our interview, she notes that differences between elementary school edu- cators and early childhood educators can deteriorate into a one-up, one-down impasse: “Historically we’ve had a lot of prejudices in each sector” (podcast). Rather than running from this impasse, Washington brought both groups to the table: “We all have to lead by changing. We all have to acknowledge there are performance gaps at both levels. We all need to take collective responsibility for problem solving” (pod- cast). Elementary teachers can learn more about using developmen- tally appropriate practices, and early childhood teachers can learn ways to help children successfully transition to elementary school. In Washington’s book Ready or Not: Leadership Choices in Early Care and Education (2007), she and coauthor Stacie Goffin challenge us to be fearless in creating a more welcoming environment for tomorrow’s adults.

Journalist Megan McArdle takes fearlessness to the next level. In her interview, she asks: Can leaders fail and be successful? To McArdle, failure is an essential part of lead- ership. We have to model failure, she argues, if only to show children how to learn and bounce back. Being fearless virtually ensures that we will, at some point, fail (podcast). When asked about the “gotcha” factor prevalent today, McArdle says leaders need to buck the “one strike and you’re out” trend to create cultures in which failure is a natural part of learning. Geoffrey Canada, founder of Harlem Children’s Zone, encoun- tered failures all along his 20-plus years of improving learning environments for chil- dren, their families, and their community. Had Canada quit at his first failure, he would never have been able to uplift the lives of thousands. Fearlessness, although full of risk, creates the change we need.

an unexpected question about power Adam Bryant’s five traits of successful leaders set standards for authenticity, but they do not directly confront the issue of power. What is a successful leader’s relationship to power? How does she exercise power? How do employees determine whether a leader is powerful? Batia Wiesenfeld and her colleagues’ research (2011) explores that very question: Can a leader be fair and have the power to succeed? As educators, we assume lead-

Bam!radio

“Can the Pedagogical Divide Between Early Childhood and Elementary Educators Be Bridged?”

Interview with Valora Washington

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership

“When Leaders Flunk: The Critical Role of Failure to Success in Education”

Interview with Megan McArdle

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership

http:/bamradionetwork.com

11Chapter 1 Five Essential Leadership Competencies

ers need to be compassionate, participatory, respectful, and fair. In an early childhood program, wouldn’t a despot be quickly overthrown, if not directly then by passive resistance? To the contrary, Wiesenfeld discovered. In fact, leaders who treat employees with fairness and respect actually diminish their own power. “Our results suggest the opposite of intuition,” Wiesenfeld says. “Lead- ers who treat people with dignity and give them opportunities to speak up consistently are seen as being less powerful.” Her research shows that leaders perceived to be fairest were not as likely to be promoted into positions of greater power. Wiesenfeld “worries that we don’t have the time frame to allow fair leaders to bubble up through the system” into powerful positions. Wiesenfeld and her colleagues’ research might appear to focus on how a leader’s own boss views the leader. In other words, an executive director may promote a “tough” director over a compassionate one. Curiously, the research shows that employees hold the same perception. Authoritarian leaders, who show less con- cern for their employees, are perceived by their employees as having more power. In the end, leaders are measured by their effectiveness, especially by how successful they are at winning funding and favor from higher-ups. Teachers may turn against you if you don’t have the power to be effective, regardless of how fair or caring you are. Wiesenfeld’s counterintuitive conclusions may be troubling. Most likely, early child- hood leaders need to exercise power with both compassion and toughness. A fair and respectful leader must also maintain integrity steely enough to make those “buck stops here,” impossible decisions.

Integrity: “Only a mediocre person is always at his best” At the heart of effective leadership is integrity. Integrity is that admirable trait of being true to your word, true to your values, and authentic in your actions. A leader’s integ- rity is golden. Authenticity is the touchstone of integrity. An authentic leader is one of a kind, self-defining, and far from perfect. She em- braces and grows through her own history, regardless of how tainted it may be. Every human being who has made a difference has been a flop at one point or another. Most leaders have embarrassing or flawed histories. Who hasn’t made a mistake, told a lie, or done something regrettable? A leader with integrity doesn’t pretend to be anyone other than herself, “warts and all.” As the 12-step slogan says: “We are only as sick as our secrets.” Your secrets and mistakes are out there. Embrace them and be grateful for the lessons they grant you.

You heard it here Whatever checklists or theories we use to define and understand leadership competen- cies, we are skating on the surface unless we take a sounding for integrity. Your integ- rity determines your legacy as a leader. Martin Luther King Jr. knew: “The time is always right to do what is right.” Our treasure hunt is under way: What will you take away? May your strengths be affirmed and your challenges become less daunting.

Bam!radio

“The Surprising Role of Power in Education Leadership”

Interview with Batia Mishan Wiesenfeld and Eric Sheninger

Heart to Heart Conversations on Leadership

http://bamradionetwork.com

To the extent that we can be emotionally honest—getting out of our head and into the heart, using well-chosen words to say what we truly feel and believe—we find our voice, we become real.

—Robert K. Cooper and Ayman Sawaf

Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and

Organizations

12 Part I Forming

reflection questions 1. How fearless are you? Can you name a risk you took that turned out well? If taking

the risk led to a failure, how did that experience affect your future actions? When other people are touched by the risks you take, can you be fearless on their behalf, or do you need to be cautious? What is the next risk you need to take but have been avoiding?

2. Do you have a simple mindset that allows you to laser through to the heart of the matter? Is that a skill you had to develop, or is it a skill that has always come natu- rally to you? If thinking like a laser is difficult for you, what steps might you take to develop a simple mindset? To practice the simple mindset, name the point you found most compelling in this chapter.

3. Would you call yourself “passionately curious”? If so, what drives you? If not, what holds you back? Recall an occasion when you let go of your own assumptions in order to break through to new understanding. Do passionately curious leaders value security? Can they create environments that feel safe to their employees?

4. How do you define integrity? How do you know if someone has integrity? Do you view yourself as having integrity? Is integrity a trait we always have and use, or can we sometimes act with integrity and other times not? Name two people you know, one famous, one from your own life, who have integrity. Does their authen- ticity differ from their integrity, or is it the same thing?

team projects 1. Where do you stand on whether leaders can fail and still succeed? Find out what

directors and other leaders have experienced in bouncing back from failure. Interview at least three directors about their experiences with, feelings about, and lessons learned from failure. Do they think in today’s “gotcha” culture that leaders can fail without losing their jobs or careers?

2. Wiseman and McKeown’s research reveals that many leaders are unaware of how they may intimidate or otherwise hold their staff back from doing their best work. Read their study and conclusions (see Bibliography and Web Resources at the end of this chapter). Do you think their findings apply to early childhood leaders? If so, what changes do leaders need to make to uplift rather than minimize employ- ees?

3. Explore the history of a leader you admire. Does this statement from earlier in the chapter describe that leader: “Every human being who has made a difference has been a flop at one point or another. . . . Most leaders have embarrassing or flawed histories. Who hasn’t made a mistake, told a lie, or done something regrettable?” How can we embrace our flops and flaws and work them into our understanding of what it means to lead?

4. As a team, decide how would you coach Vanessa, the leader from the case study. What questions would you want to ask her? In your judgment, what will determine whether Vanessa should accept the nomination? Reread the Mr. Rogers quote that opened the chapter: “There is a close relationship between truth and trust.” How might that insight help you coach Vanessa?

It is authenticity that will be most effective in marshaling teams to work together to achieve a shared goal.

—Adam Bryant The Corner Office: Indispen-

sible and Unexpected Lessons from CEOs on How to Lead

and Succeed

13Chapter 1 Five Essential Leadership Competencies

Bibliography Bishop, R. 2011. Workarounds that work: How to conquer anything that stands in your way at work.

New York: McGraw-Hill. Bruno, H.E. 2010. Creating relational sanctuaries for children who suffer from abuse. Child Care

Exchange Jan/Feb: 64–68. Bryant, A. 2011. The corner office: Indispensable and unexpected lessons from CEOs on how to lead

and succeed. New York: Times Books. Cooper, R.K., & A. Sawaf. 1997. Executive EQ: Emotional intelligence in leadership and organiza-