Zhenyi Han
Stanton Courtney
English Composition 101
Date:06/12/2019
Code In Peacetime
Have you ever used “ASAP” when you chat with your friend? I believe that everyone knows
it means “as soon as possible” and uses it in daily life. People use abbreviation when typing with
friends and families because it saves time and is convenient. People use abbreviations in other
aspects as well. It is also called “jargon” or “term” when it becomes technical. In Perri Klass’s
article “Learning the Language,” she talks about the discourse community in the medical field and
argues that people use jargon for certain purpose. Klass argues that when being a member of a
profession, people will no longer feel strange about hearing or saying the jargon. Apart from the
medical industry, the use of jargon is not uncommon in other fields. For instance, Sean Branick
talks about how literacy is engaged in football and consider coaches as a discourse community in
his article named “Coaches Can Read, Too”. He supports Klass’s idea about using special language
to reduce stress by presenting how to motivate players. They also have similarities in using jargon
to deliver important information. After that, Branick complicates Klass’s idea about baseball
metaphor in medical situations and learning a new language by presenting setting goals in football
coaching and using play-calling sheet.
Klass argues that using special language can reduce stress and increase the sense of closeness,
which is reflected by Branick’s idea about how to motivate players. According to Klass, “[Y]ou
never say that a patient’s blood pressure fell or that his cardiac enzymes rose. Instead, the patient is
always the subject of the verb: “He dropped his pressure.” “He bumped his enzymes” (344).
Basically, Klass is trying to say that when patients have a problem in the midnight, the intern has to
come over to solve the problem; but no one would be happy being woken up in the midnight. That
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good -- establishing clear connections here
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this last sentences is tougher to follow -- unclear how metaphors and learning relate to presenting goals and play-calling sheets
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is the reason why they imply that patients did it and create a problem and why they are blaming
patients for the problems in order to let off steam. The similar reason exists in the football field
which indicates the ability to motivate players. Branick said, “…[T]here are many types of players:
“There are some that like to yell and scream and get excited. There are others who don’t play well
like that, who are a little quieter and keep it within themselves but still very motivated” (390).
Branick is saying that by motivating players, coaches strengthen the sense of closeness with them
while helping them to release their stress. No matter scream it out or keep it inside, they clear
people’s mind either way. The way is different as it depends on different personalities, but the
outcome is the same. Whether blaming patients for creating problems or screaming out, the purpose
of both approaches is to make people do a better job by either releasing the stress or increasing the
sense of closeness.
Releasing stress is just one of many purposes; Klass suggests that using jargon in the medical
field can maintain some distance between doctors and patients, while Branick conveys his idea
about players using Lexis to communicate with each other during the game. Klass states that
“Naturally, we’re worried about adeno-CA,” the intern can say to the medical student, and lung
cancer need never be mentioned” (346). She indicates that doctors can use jargon to avoid
mentioning fatal disease to reduce patients’ emotional impact. “Adeno-CA” means nothing to a
person who is not in the medical field, but it represents lung cancer to the doctors, which enable
doctors to communicate better to each other as well as make patients calm. As an example in
football, like what Branick said, “This lexis is also important because the lexis varies from team to
team, so if the opposing team hears it, they will not know what it means” (388). It works the same
way as “adeno-CA,” and it is like dog-whistle politics. The players are using terms which is only
meaningful to specific people who are expected to get the information. Both methods provide the
same purpose to transfer information to a certain group of people and to try not to tell people who
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yes -- good! THIS is the idea that ties the texts together, right? Language communities find ways to help members do a better job this is a great point, but you need to make this clear earlier in the paragraph, so your reader can follow the claim more easily
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another excellent point here! you're doing avery nice job of seeing the more fundamental connections b/w the texts as with body 1 though, your paragraph would be stronger if you established this specific connection earlier, particularly in the ts
are not expected to know. All in all, this kind of language is expected to achieve communities’
certain goal.
Branick talks about setting goals in the football field with a discourse community, which
complicates Klass’s idea about using baseball metaphors in the medical field. According to Klass,
baseball metaphor is very pervasive in the medical area. For instance, when doctors have a new
patient, they use “I got a hit” instead of directly saying “I got a new patient.” If we consider it in a
baseball game, what would mean to be winning? The answer is “to get as few new hits as
possible” (345) Branick complicates this idea by saying, “There is always the goal of winning the
game” (387). In the football game, there is always a side to win the game, but in the medical field,
doctors are not competing with each other either the patients. Therefore, there is no real winning
involved in the medical situation. Despite Klass says that to win is to get as few new hits as
possible, no one really sets that goal. Technically it is not really a “goal”. A “goal” has a clear target,
which could be “get an A on final” or “make a million per year.” But here, “few new hits” does not
say how many is “few” and people would never say “I did it, I achieved that goal.” It is a purpose
rather than a goal because it exists for people to pursue instead of achieving. People sets goals then
try very hard to achieve them, and the key of the whole process of trying hard is “how.”
Branick presents “genres” in the discourse community of football coaching staff, which
complicates Klass’s idea about learning a new language by taking practice. A genre is a text that
makes people’s communication facilitative. According to Branick, there is a play-calling sheet that
helps the coach remember “all the plays they have and what situation that the plays are favorable
in” (388). It is said that if the coach has this sheet, he does not need to remember the names of all
the plays on his own. However, in a medical situation, there is no such a sheet that tells the names
of medical situations and explain when to use them. There may be some book which allows people
to learn and to understand the medical knowledge, but there is absolutely no sheet for a doctor to
look at. Just imagine when people see a doctor, after explaining what is happening to their body the
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I see your point here about purposes vs goals and how one profession entails competition and the other doesn't, but it's tough to see the overall message here about language communities what do the ideas here tell us about language communities, more broadly? is there a larger message to be found here?
doctor says: “Wait a minute, let me look at my sheet. Your situation has to be somewhere on my
sheet.” Klass indicates that learning has a process by saying “At first you may notice the new and
alien assumptions every time you put together a sentence, but with time and increased fluency you
stop being aware of them at all” (346). Klass suggests that when people start to learn a new
language, it is normal to feel strange about it. After practicing it for a certain time, that sense of
strangeness will fade away till people no longer feel it.
When people stop feeling the sense of strangeness, he would become a member of a
profession. Klass argues that talking professionally is easy as people just need to memorize the
jargon that will work. The hardest part is being a real member of a profession, which indicates
understanding the jargon, the structure, and the logic behind it. Meanwhile, Branick supports and
complicates her idea by using the discourse community in the football coaching area. Jargon
contributes to people’s communication; just like back to days of the war, countries used complicated
code to deliver significant information.
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true, but then Branick says something different, right? coaches can't necessarily memorize all the plays --> so what's the determining factor here? why can some professions rely on memory and some can't? (more to say here)
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This shows great progress, Zhenyi. You've organized your paragraphs well, and you're maintaining strong focus on the specific prompt. I'm also glad to see you engaging some very thoughtful ideas here! In your first couple of body paragraphs, see my notes on establishing your specific claims earlier. Your ideas in those sections are quite good, but you tend to state them most clearly at the ENDS of the paragraph's, which diminishes their power to persuade your reader. See my notes there. In your last couple of body paragraphs, the connections you're trying to make b/w the texts are a bit tougher to see, particularly in body 3. Be sure to review my comments on these sections carefully. Please look through all my notes and let me know if you have any questions. GRADE: C+/B-
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(slash grades indicate that your paper quality is at the midpoint between two specific grades; it's a bit stronger than the first grade, but not quite fully to the second one yet)
Works Cited
Branick,Sean. “Coaches Can Read, Too.” Writing about Writing, 3rd ed., New York: Macmillan
Learning, 2017, pp. 384–392.
Klass,Perri. “Learning the Language.” Writing about Writing, 3rd ed., New York: Macmillan