Relatively low role ambiguity has been associated with higher remarital satisfaction.

Chapter 15

Remarriages and Stepfamilies

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Chapter Outline

Defining and Measuring Stepfamilies

Choosing Partners the Next Time

Happiness Satisfaction, and Stability in Remarriage

Day-to-Day Living in Stepfamilies

Well-Being in Stepfamilies

Creating Supportive Stepfamilies

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Defining and Measuring Stepfamilies

Today, approximately 25 percent of all marriages are remarriages for one or both partners.

Can be formed through legal marriage, cohabitation, marriage after childbirth, or other arrangements.

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Pathways to Stepfamily Living

Can originate with a birth to a married or cohabiting couple

Can originate from a birth to a single mother who is neither married nor cohabiting

Children born to married or cohabiting parents can experience parents’ divorce or union dissolution or death

After death or divorce of ex-partner, a parent may marry or remarry, forming a married stepfamily

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Pathways to Stepfamily Living

Parent can also go on to form a cohabiting union with a new partner after divorce or death or an ex-partner

A cohabiting stepfamily may be permanent, or it may transition to a married or remarried stepfamily

Multipartnered parenthood and subsequent union dissolutions and formations add even greater complexity

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Pathways to Stepfamily Living

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Various Types of Stepfamilies

Stepfamilies created by widowhood or divorce followed by remarriage

Stepfamilies created by nonmarital childbearing

Stepfamilies created by cohabitation

Children and households living in stepfamilies

Multiple-household stepfamilies

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Various Types of Stepfamilies

Stepfamilies with adult stepchildren

Race/ethnic diversity in stepfamilies

Stepfamilies with gay and lesbian parents

Other types of stepfamilies

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U.S. Children Under 18 Living in Stepfamilies, 2012

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A New Model of Stepfamilies

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Assumption Traditional Revised

Union type Remarriage First marriage, remarriage, cohabitation

Residence of children Co-resident, static Co-resident and nonresident; dynamic

Stage of family life cycle Child rearing; children ages 0-18 Parenting across the life course (incl. children 18+)

Race/ethnicity White All races and ethnicities

Social class Middle class All classes

Sexual orientation Heterosexual Heterosexual or homosexual

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Perceptions of Stepfamilies: Stereotypes and Stigmas

Stepfamilies are stigmatized in that they are perceived as being less functional and desirable than original two-parent families.

According to this nuclear-family model monopoly, the first-marriage family is the “real” standard for family living, with all other family forms seen as deficient alternatives.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

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Choosing Partners the Next Time

Parents must consider their own needs as well as their childrens’.

Can be challenging to accept a partner who accepts children as part of the relationship.

Children and in-laws may be ambivalent about the new relationship.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

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Dating with Children

Courtship may proceed much more rapidly when dating before remarriage.

Dating may also include outings with one or both partners’ children; or, couples may choose to keep their dating relationships and home lives separate.

Couples with children can struggle to determine the “right time” to introduce children to dating partners.

Couples with children from previous relationships sometimes “drift into” cohabitation.

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What Kinds of People Become Stepparents?

Men with children are much more likely than childless men to cohabit or marry a woman with children.

Women whose children see their nonresident fathers more often are more likely to remarry.

For men, marrying someone with children is generally seen as undesirable. This is somewhat less true for women.

Remarriage benefits women financially more than men, though both do benefit.

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Second Weddings

Second weddings tend to have fewer guests, few or no wedding attendants, and forgo traditions such as the tossing of the bouquet.

Remarriage wedding ceremonies are complicated, emotionally charged, and often awkward affairs.

Many children are critical of their stepparents’ wedding ceremony.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

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Remarrying couples differ from first-marrying couples in their degree of homogamy. This is because choosing a remarriage partner differs from making a marital choice the first time inasmuch as there is a smaller pool of eligible on any given attribute.

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Happiness, Satisfaction, and Stability in Remarriage

Marital happiness and marital satisfaction are synonymous phrases that refer to the quality of the marital relationship whether or not it is permanent.

Marital stability refers simply to the duration of the union.

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Happiness, Satisfaction, and Stability in Remarriage

Research shows little difference in spouses’ overall well-being or in marital happiness between first and later unions.

Evidence shows that there is more equity, or fairness, in remarriages than in first marriages.

One study found that this appears to have more to do with an ex-wife’s less-than-satisfactory experience in her first marriage, and subsequent partner selection for remarriage.

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The Stability of Remarriages

Remarriages are less stable than first marriages.

Selection effect is prevalent.

Post-divorce cohabitation is positively associated with remarital instability

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The Stability of Remarriages

People who divorce are disproportionately from lower-middle- and lower-class groups, which have a higher tendency to divorce.

People who remarry after divorce are more accepting of divorce and are willing to choose divorce as a way to resolve an unsatisfactory marriage.

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The Stability of Remarriages

Remarrieds receive less social support from their families of origin and are less integrated with parents and in-laws.

Remarriages present some stresses on a couple that are not inherent in first marriages.

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Day-to-Day Living in Stepfamilies

Society offers members of stepfamilies an underdeveloped script.

Noting the cultural ambiguity of stepfamily relationships, social scientist Andrew Cherlin thirty years ago called the remarried family an incomplete institution.

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Boundary Ambiguity in Stepfamilies

Boundary ambiguity is any discrepancy in spouses’ or partners’ reports of shared children and/or stepchildren.

Boundary ambiguity was present among 25 percent of couples with stepchildren; higher among couples with nonresident stepchildren than with resident stepchildren.

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Boundary Ambiguity in Four Family Forms

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Family Form Boundary Ambiguity (%)

Two-biological-parent family 0.6

Single-mother family 11.6

Married stepparent family 30.2

Cohabiting stepparent family 65.9

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The Stepfamily System

Family Systems Theory

Family systems theory emphasizes interdependence in family relationships.

Because stepfamily members are often uncertain about how they should behave toward one another, they tend to look to other family members for cues.

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The Stepfamily System

Triadic Communication

Family dynamics can sometimes become set.

Triads can be linked, outsider, adult-coalition, complete.

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Perceived Types of Triadic Communication Structures in Stepfamilies

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The Stepfamily System

Visitation schedules can create disruptions.

Stepsiblings may not get along.

Children may not want stepfamilies to “work out,” hoping original parents will reunite.

Dripolator and percolator effects come into play.

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The Stepfamily System

Stepfamily Roles

There is no cultural script to show members of stepfamilies how to play their roles.

Role ambiguity is a significant issue in stepfamilies.

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The Stepfamily System

Relatively low role ambiguity has been associated with higher remarital satisfaction, especially for wives, and with greater parenting satisfaction, especially for stepfathers.

The roles of stepchild and stepparent are not well defined, clearly understood, or fully agreed upon by stepfamily members.

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The Stepfamily System

The Stepfather Role

Stepfathers who adopt their stepchildren tend to be more involved with them than those who don’t.

Close ties to stepfathers are more likely to develop when the adolescent has close ties to the mother before the stepfather entered the family.

Discipline is likely to be a tricky area.

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The Stepfamily System

The Stepmother Role

Stepmother trap

On the one hand, society seems to expect almost mythical loving relationships between stepmothers and children.

On the other hand, they are stigmatized and seen as cruel, vain, selfish, competitive, and even abusive.

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Stepfamily Relationships

Between stepparents and stepchildren

Between biological parents and children

Between full, step-, and half-siblings

Stepparents’ decisions about having children

Relationships with grandparents

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Financial Arrangements in Stepfamilies

Money problems arise from two sources: financial obligations from first marriages and stepparent role ambiguity.

Common-pot system or two-pot system are adopted by most stepfamilies.

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Legal Issues in Stepfamilies

Because family law assumes that all marriages are first marriages, few legal provisions exist for remarried family challenges.

Laws have not kept pace with the “fragmentation of fatherhood.”

Most states consider stepparents and stepchildren “legal strangers.”

Some legal issues can be averted if a stepparent legally adopts a stepchild, but this is often impossible.

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Well-Being in Stepfamilies

Members of nontraditional families (not living in a married, two-parent household) generally do not fare as well on a range of economic and social and emotional variables.

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Well-Being in Stepfamilies

The Well-Being of Parents and Stepparents

Parents have lower levels of happiness and life satisfaction and higher levels of psychological distress than nonparents.

Outcomes are worse for stepmothers than stepfathers.

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Well-Being in Stepfamilies

The Well-Being of Children

The majority of children in remarried households show few, if any, negative outcomes.

Not all children living in stepfamilies are stepchildren.

Stepparents make fewer investments in their children’s health than biological parents.

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Creating Supportive Stepfamilies

Creating a supportive stepfamily is not automatic.

The Stepfamily Cycle does not unfold in a neat and precise way, and it can take anywhere from 4 to 12 years to complete.

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7 Stage Model of Stepfamily Development

Fantasy—adults expect a quick adjustment while children expect that the stepparent will disappear and their parents will be reunited.

Immersion—tension-producing conflict emerges between the stepfamily’s two biological “subunits.”

Awareness—family members realize that their early fantasies are not becoming reality.

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7 Stage Model of Stepfamily Development

Mobilization—family members initiate efforts toward change.

Action—remarried adults decide to form a solid alliance, family boundaries are better clarified, and there is more positive stepparent–stepchild interaction.

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7 Stage Model of Stepfamily Development

Contact—the stepparent becomes a significant adult family figure, and the couple assumes more control.

Resolution—the stepfamily achieves integration and appreciates its unique identity as a stepfamily.

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