What does the cash register say when maggie is scanned

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For Kyle

Chapter 1

A private plane sits on a runway in Martha’s Vineyard, forward stairs deployed. It is a nine-seat OSPRY 700SL, built in 2001 in Wichita, Kansas. Whose plane it is is hard to say with real certainty. The ownership of record is a Dutch holding company with a Cayman Island mailing address, but the logo on the fuselage says GULLWING AIR. The pilot, James Melody, is British. Charlie Busch, the first officer, is from Odessa, Texas. The flight attendant, Emma Lightner, was born in Mannheim, Germany, to an American air force lieutenant and his teenage wife. They moved to San Diego when she was nine.

Everyone has their path. The choices they’ve made. How any two people end up in the same place at the same time is a mystery. You get on an elevator with a dozen strangers. You ride a bus, wait in line for the bathroom. It happens every day. To try to predict the places we’ll go and the people we’ll meet would be pointless.

A soft halogen glow emanates from the louvered forward hatch. Nothing like the harsh fluorescent glare you find in commercial planes. Two weeks from now, in a New York Magazine interview, Scott Burroughs will say that the thing that surprised him most about his first trip on a private jet was not the legroom or the full bar, but how personalized the decor felt, as if, at a certain income level, air travel is just another form of staying home.

It is a balmy night on the Vineyard, eighty-six degrees with light winds out of the southwest. The scheduled time of departure is ten p.m. For the last three hours, a heavy coastal fog has been building over the sound, tendrils of dense white creeping slowly across the floodlit tarmac.

The Bateman family, in their island Range Rover, is the first to arrive: father David, mother Maggie, and their two children, Rachel and JJ. It’s late

August and Maggie and the kids have been on the Vineyard for the month, with David flying out from New York on the weekends. It’s hard for him to get away any more than that, though he wishes he could. David is in the entertainment business, which is what people in his line of work call television news these days. A Roman circus of information and opinions.

He is a tall man with an intimidating phone voice. Strangers, upon meeting him, are often struck by the size of his hands. His son, JJ, has fallen asleep in the car, and as the others start toward the plane David leans into the back and gently lifts JJ from the car seat, supporting his weight with one arm. The boy instinctively throws his arms around his father’s neck, his face slack from slumber. The warmth of his breath sends a chill down David’s spine. He can feel the bones of his son’s hips in his palm, the spill of legs against his side. At four, JJ is old enough to know that people die, but still too young to realize that one day he will be one of them. David and Maggie call him their perpetual motion machine, because really it’s just nonstop all day long. At three, JJ’s primary means of communication was to roar like a dinosaur. Now he is the king of the interruption, questioning every word they say with seemingly endless patience until he’s answered or shut down.

David kicks the car door closed with his foot, his son’s weight pulling him off balance. He is holding his phone to his ear with his free hand.

“Tell him if he says a word about any of this,” he says quietly, so as not to wake the boy, “we’ll sue him biblically until he thinks lawyers are falling outta the sky like frogs.”

At fifty-six, David wears a hard layer of fat around his frame like a bulletproof vest. He has a strong chin and a good head of hair. In the 1990s David built a name for himself running political campaigns—governors, senators, and one two-term president—but he retired in 2000 to run a lobbying firm on K Street. Two years later, an aging billionaire approached him with the idea of starting a twenty-four-hour news network. Thirteen years and thirteen billion in corporate revenue later, David has a top-floor office with bomb-resistant glass and access to the corporate jet.

He doesn’t get to see the kids enough. David and Maggie both agree on this, though they fight about it regularly. Which is to say, she raises the issue and he gets defensive, even though, at heart, he feels the same. But then isn’t that what marriage is, two people fighting for land rights to the same six inches?

Now, on the tarmac, a gust of wind blows up. David, still on the phone, glances over at Maggie and smiles, and the smile says I’m glad to be here with you. It says I love you. But it also says, I know I’m in the middle of another work call and I need you to give me a break about it. It says, What matters is that I’m here, and that we’re all together.

It is a smile of apology, but there is also some steel in it. Maggie smiles back, but hers is more perfunctory, sadder. The truth is, she

can no longer control whether she forgives him or not. They’ve been married less than ten years. Maggie is thirty-six, a former

preschool teacher, the pretty one boys fantasize about before they even understand what that means—a breast fixation shared by toddler and teen. Miss Maggie, as they called her, was cheerful and loving. She came in early every morning at six thirty to straighten up. She stayed late to write progress reports and work on her lesson plan. Miss Maggie was a twenty-six-year-old girl from Piedmont, California, who loved teaching. Loved it. She was the first adult any of these three-year-olds had met who took them seriously, who listened to what they had to say and made them feel grown.

Fate, if you would call it that, brought Maggie and David together in a ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria one Thursday night in early spring 2005. The ball was a black-tie fund-raiser for an educational fund. Maggie was there with a friend. David was on the board. She was the humble beauty in a floral dress with blue finger paint smeared on the small curve inside her right knee. He was the heavyweight charm shark in a two-button suit. She wasn’t the youngest woman at the party, or even the prettiest, but she was the only one with chalk in her purse, the only one who could build a papier-mâché volcano and owned a striped Cat in the Hat stovepipe hat she would wear to work every year on Dr. Seuss’s birthday. In other words, she was everything David had ever wanted in a wife. He excused himself and made his approach, smiling a cap-toothed smile.

In retrospect, she never had a chance. Ten years later they have two children and a town house on Gracie Square.

Rachel, nine years old, goes to Brearley with a hundred other girls. Maggie, retired from teaching now, stays home with JJ, which makes her unusual among women of her station—the carefree housewives of workaholic millionaires. When she strolls her son to the park in the morning, Maggie is the only stay-at-home mother in the playground. All the other kids arrive in

European-designed strollers pushed by island ladies on cell phones. Now, on the airport runway, Maggie feels a chill run through her and pulls

her summer cardigan tighter. The tendrils of fog have become a slow roiling surf, drafting with glacial patience across the tarmac.

“Are you sure it’s okay to fly in this?” she asks her husband’s back. He has reached the top of the stairs, where Emma Lightner, their flight attendant, wearing a trim blue skirt suit, greets him with a smile.

“It’ll be fine, Mom,” says Rachel, nine, walking behind her mother. “It’s not like they need to see to fly a plane.”

“No, I know.” “They have instruments.” Maggie gives her daughter a supportive smile. Rachel is wearing her green

backpack—Hunger Games, Barbies, and iPad inside—and as she walks, it bumps rhythmically against the small of her back. Such a big girl. Even at nine there are signs of the woman she’ll become. A professor who waits patiently as you figure out your own mistakes. The smartest person in the room, in other words, but not a show-off, never a show-off, with a good heart and musical laughter. The question is, are these qualities she was born with, or qualities seeded inside her by what happened? The true crime of her youth? Somewhere online the entire saga is recorded in words and pictures— archived news footage on YouTube, hundreds of man-hours of beat reporting all stored in the great collective memory of ones and zeros. A New Yorker writer wanted to do a book last year, but David quashed it quietly. Rachel is only a child, after all. Sometimes, when Maggie thinks about what could have gone wrong, she worries her heart will crack.

Instinctively, she glances over at the Range Rover, where Gil is radioing the advance team. Gil is their shadow, a big Israeli who never takes off his jacket. He is what people in their income bracket call domestic security. Six foot two, 190 pounds. There is a reason he never takes off his jacket, a reason that doesn’t get discussed in polite circles. This is Gil’s fourth year with the Bateman family. Before Gil there was Misha, and before Misha came the strike team of humorless men in suits, the ones with automatic weapons in the trunk of their car. In her schoolteacher days, Maggie would have scoffed at this kind of military intrusion into family life. She would have called it narcissistic to think that money made you a target for violence. But that was before the events of July 2008, before her daughter’s kidnapping and the

agonizing three days it took to get her back. On the jet’s stairs, Rachel spins and gives a mock royal wave to the empty

runway. She is wearing blue fleece over her dress, her hair in a bowed ponytail. Any evidence that Rachel has been damaged by those three days remains mostly hidden—a fear of small spaces, a certain trepidation around strange men. But then Rachel has always been a happy kid, a bubbly trickster with a sly smile, and though she can’t understand how, Maggie is thankful every day that her kid hasn’t lost that.

“Good evening, Mrs. Bateman,” says Emma as Maggie reaches the top of the airplane stairs.

“Hi, thanks,” says Maggie reflexively. She feels the usual need to apologize for their wealth, not her husband’s necessarily, but her own, the sheer implausibility of it. She was a preschool teacher not so long ago, living in a six-story walk-up with two mean girls, like Cinderella.

“Is Scott here yet?” she asks. “No, ma’am. You’re the first to arrive. I’ve pulled a bottle of pinot gris.

Would you like a glass?” “Not right now. Thanks.” Inside, the jet is a statement of subdued luxury, contoured walls ribbed

with sleek ash paneling. The seats are gray leather and laid out casually in pairs, as if to suggest you might enjoy the flight more with a partner. The cabin has a moneyed hush, like the inside of a presidential library. Though she’s flown this way many times, Maggie still can’t get over the indulgence of it. An entire airplane just for them.

David lays their son in his seat, covers him with a blanket. He is on another call already, this one clearly serious. Maggie can tell by the grim set of David’s jaw. Below him the boy stirs in his seat but doesn’t wake.

Rachel stops by the cockpit to talk to the pilots. It is something she does everywhere she goes, seeks out the local authority and grills them for information. Maggie spots Gil at the cockpit door, keeping the nine-year-old in sight. He carries, in addition to a handgun, a Taser and plastic handcuffs. He is the quietest man Maggie has ever met.

Phone to his ear, David gives his wife’s shoulder a squeeze. “Excited to get back?” he asks, covering the mouthpiece with his other

hand. “Mixed,” she says. “It’s so nice out here.”

“You could stay. I mean, we have that thing next weekend, but otherwise, why not?”

“No,” she says. “The kids have school, and I’ve got the museum board thing on Thursday.”

She smiles at him. “I didn’t sleep that well,” she says. “I’m just tired.” David’s eyes go to something over Maggie’s shoulder. He frowns. Maggie turns. Ben and Sarah Kipling stand at the top of the stairs. They’re

a wealthy couple, more David’s friends than hers. All the same, Sarah squeals when she sees Maggie.

“Darling,” she says, throwing open her arms. Sarah gives Maggie a hug, the flight attendant standing awkwardly behind

them, holding a tray of drinks. “I love your dress,” says Sarah. Ben maneuvers past his wife and charges David, shaking his hand

vigorously. He is a partner at one of the big four Wall Street firms, a blue- eyed shark in a tailored blue button-down shirt and a pair of belted white shorts.

“Did you see the fucking game?” he says. “How does he not catch that ball?”

“Don’t get me started,” says David. “I mean, I could have caught that fucking ball and I’ve got French toast

hands.” The two men stand toe-to-toe, mock posturing, two big bucks locking

horns for the sheer love of battle. “He lost it in the lights,” David tells him, then feels his phone buzz. He

looks at it, frowns, types a reply. Ben glances quickly over his shoulder, his expression sobering. The women are busy chatting. He leans in closer.

“We need to talk, buddy.” David shakes him off, still typing. “Not now.” “I’ve been calling you,” Kipling says. He starts to say more, but Emma is

there with drinks. “Glenlivet on the rocks, if I’m not mistaken,” she says, handing Ben a

glass. “You’re a doll,” Ben says, and knocks back half the scotch in one gulp.

“Just water for me,” David says as she lifts a glass of vodka from the tray. “Of course,” she says, smiling. “I’ll be right back.” A few feet away, Sarah Kipling has already run out of small talk. She

gives Maggie’s arm a squeeze. “How are you,” she says, earnestly, and for the second time. “No, I’m good,” says Maggie. “I just—travel days, you know. I’ll be

happy when we’re home.” “I know. I mean, I love the beach, but honestly? I get so bored. How many

sunsets can you watch and not want to just, I don’t know, go to Barneys?” Maggie glances nervously at the open hatch. Sarah catches the look. “Waiting for someone?” “No. I mean, I think we’ll be one more, but—” Her daughter saves her from having to say more. “Mom,” says Rachel from her seat. “Don’t forget, tomorrow is Tamara’s

party. We still have to get a gift.” “Okay,” says Maggie, distracted. “Let’s go to Dragonfly in the morning.” Looking past her daughter, Maggie sees David and Ben huddled together,

talking. David doesn’t look happy. She could ask him about it later, but her husband has been so standoffish lately, and the last thing she wants is a fight.

The flight attendant glides past her and hands David his water. “Lime?” she says. David shakes his head. Ben rubs his bald spot nervously. He glances at the

cockpit. “Are we waiting for somebody?” he says. “Let’s get this show on the

road.” “One more person,” says Emma, looking at her list. “Scott Burroughs?” Ben glances at David. “Who?” David shrugs. “Maggie has a friend,” he says. “He’s not a friend,” Maggie says, overhearing. “I mean, the kids know

him. We ran into him this morning at the market. He said he had to go to New York, so I invited him to join us. I think he’s a painter.”

She looks at her husband. “I showed you some of his work.” David checks his watch. “You told him ten o’clock?” he says. She nods.

“Well,” he says, sitting, “five more minutes and he’ll have to catch the ferry like everyone else.”

Through a round portal window, Maggie sees the captain standing on the tarmac examining the wing. He stares up at the smooth aluminum, then walks slowly toward the plane.

Behind her, JJ shifts in slumber, his mouth slack. Maggie rearranges the blanket over him, then gives his forehead a kiss. He always looks so worried when he sleeps, she thinks.

Over the chair back she sees the captain reenter the plane. He comes over to shake hands, a man quarterback-tall with a military build.

“Gentlemen,” he says, “ladies. Welcome. Should be a short flight. Some light winds, but otherwise the ride’ll be pretty smooth.”

“I saw you outside the plane,” says Maggie. “Routine visual inspection,” he tells her. “I do it before every flight. The

plane looks good.” “What about the fog?” asks Maggie. Her daughter rolls her eyes. “Fog isn’t a factor with a sophisticated piece of machinery like this,” the

pilot tells them. “A few hundred feet above sea level and we’re past it.” “I’m gonna eat some of this cheese then,” says Ben. “Should we put on

some music maybe? Or the TV? I think Boston’s playing the White Sox.” Emma goes to find the game on the in-flight entertainment system, and

there is a long moment of settling in as they take their seats and stow their belongings. Up front, the pilots run through their pre-flight instrument check.

David’s phone buzzes again. He checks it, frowns. “All right,” says David, getting antsy. “I think that’s all the time we’ve got

for the painter.” He nods to Emma, who crosses to close the main cabin door. In the

cockpit, as if by telepathy, the pilot starts the engines. The front door is almost closed when they hear a man’s voice yell, “Wait!”

The plane shakes as their final passenger climbs the gangway stairs. Despite herself, Maggie feels herself flush, a thrum of anticipation starting in her belly. And then he is there, Scott Burroughs, mid-forties, looking flushed and out of breath. His hair is shaggy and starting to gray, but his face is smooth. There are worn gouache splotches on his white Keds, faded white and summer blue. He has a dirty green duffel bag over one shoulder. In his

bearing there is still the flush of youth, but the lines around his eyes are deep and earned.

“Sorry,” he says. “The cab took forever. I ended up taking a bus.” “Well, you made it,” says David nodding to the copilot to close the door.

“That’s what matters.” “Can I take your bag, sir?” says Emma. “What?” says Scott, startled momentarily by the stealthy way she has

moved next to him. “No. I got it.” She points him to an empty seat. As he walks to it, he takes in the interior

of the plane for the first time. “Well, hell,” he says. “Ben Kipling,” says Ben, rising to shake Scott’s hand. “Yeah,” says Scott, “Scott Burroughs.” He sees Maggie. “Hey,” he says, giving her a wide, warm grin. “Thanks again for this.” Maggie smiles back, flushed. “It’s nothing,” she says. “We had room.” Scott falls into a seat next to Sarah. Before he even has his seat belt on,

Emma is handing him a glass of wine. “Oh,” he says. “No, thank you. I don’t—some water maybe?” Emma smiles, withdraws. Scott looks over at Sarah. “You could get used to this, huh?” “Truer words have never been spoken,” says Kipling. The engines surge, and Maggie feels the plane start to move. Captain

Melody’s voice comes over the speakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, please prepare for takeoff,” he says. Maggie looks over at her two kids, Rachel sitting with one leg folded

under her, scrolling through songs on her phone, and little JJ hunched in slumber, slack-faced with childish oblivion.

As she does at a thousand random moments out of every day, Maggie feels a swell of motherly love, ballooning and desperate. They are her life, these children. Her identity. She reaches once more to readjust her son’s blanket, and as she does there is that moment of weightlessness as the plane’s wheels leave the ground. This act of impossible hope, this routine suspension of the physical laws that hold men down, inspires and terrifies her. Flying. They are

flying. And as they rise up through the foggy white, talking and laughing, serenaded by the songs of 1950s crooners and the white noise of the long at bat, none of them has any idea that sixteen minutes from now their plane will crash into the sea.

1.

Chapter 2

When he was six, Scott Burroughs took a trip to San Francisco with his family. They spent three days at a motel near the beach: Scott, his parents, and his sister, June, who would later drown in Lake Michigan. San Francisco was foggy and cold that weekend, wide avenues rolling like tongue tricks down to the water. Scott remembers his father ordering crab legs at a restaurant, and how, when they came, they were monstrous, the size of tree branches. As if the crabs should be eating them instead of the other way around.

On the last day of their trip Scott’s dad got them on a bus down to Fisherman’s Wharf. Scott—in faded corduroys and a striped T-shirt—knelt on the sloped plastic seat and watched as the flat, wide stucco of the Sunset District turned to concrete hills and wide-plank Victorians lining the serious incline. They went to the Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum and had their caricatures drawn—a family of four comically oversize heads bobbling side by side on unicycles. Afterward, they stopped and watched the seals splay themselves on salt-soaked docks. Scott’s mother pointed at flurries of white- winged gulls with wonder in her eyes. They were landlocked people. To Scott, it was as if they had taken a spaceship to a distant planet.

For lunch they ate corn dogs and drank Coke out of comically large plastic cups. Entering Aquatic Park, they found a crowd had gathered. There were dozens of people looking north and pointing toward Alcatraz.

The bay was slate gray that day, the hills of Marin framing the now defunct prison island like the shoulders of a guard. To their left the Golden Gate Bridge was a hazy, burnt-orange giant, suspension towers headless in the late-morning fog.

Scott could see a mass of small boats circling out on the water.

“Was there an escape?” Scott’s father asked aloud to no one. Scott’s mother frowned and pulled out a brochure. As far as she knew, she

said, the prison was closed. The island was just for tourists now. Scott’s father tapped the man next to him on the shoulder. “What are we looking at?” he asked. “He’s swimming over from Alcatraz,” the man said. “Who?” “The exercise guy. What’s it? Jack LaLanne. It’s some kind of stunt. He’s

handcuffed and pulling a goddamn boat.” “What do you mean, pulling a boat?” “There’s a rope. This is off the radio. See that boat there. The big one.

He’s gotta drag that thing all the way over here.” The guy shook his head, like all of a sudden the world had gone insane on

him. Scott climbed to a higher step where he could see over all the adults.

There was indeed a large boat out on the water, bow pointed toward shore. It was surrounded by a fleet of smaller boats. A woman leaned down and tapped Scott’s arm.

“Here,” she said, smiling, “take a look.” She handed Scott a small pair of binoculars. Through the lenses he could

just make out a man in the water, wearing a beige swim cap. His shoulders were bare. He swam in surging forward lunges, like a mermaid.

“The current is nuts right there,” the man told Scott’s father. “Not to mention the damn water is, like, fifty-eight degrees. There’s a reason nobody ever escaped from Alcatraz. Plus, you got the sharks. I give the guy one shot in five.”

Through the binoculars Scott could see that the motorboats surrounding the swimmer were filled with men in uniforms. They were carrying rifles and staring down into the chop.

In the water the swimmer lifted his arms from the surf and surged forward. He was bound at the wrists, focused on the shore. His breathing was steady. If he was aware of the deputies or the risk of shark attack, he didn’t show it. Jack LaLanne, the fittest man on earth. His sixtieth birthday was in five days. Sixty. The age where anyone with sense slows down, puts up their feet, and lets a few things slide, but, as Scott would later learn, Jack’s discipline transcended age. He was a tool constructed to complete a task, an

overcoming machine. Around his waist, the rope was like a tentacle trying to pull him down into the cold, black deep, but he paid it no mind, as if by ignoring the weight he was pulling he could take away its power. Jack was used to it anyway, this rope. At home he tied himself to the side of the pool and swam in place for half an hour a day. This was in addition to ninety minutes of weight lifting and thirty minutes of running. Looking at himself in the mirror afterward, Jack didn’t see a mortal man. He saw a being of pure energy.

He had done this swim before too, back in 1955. Alcatraz was still a prison then, a cold rock of penitence and punition. Jack was forty-one, a young buck already famous for being fit. He had the TV show and the gyms. Every week he stood in simple black and white wearing his trademark jumpsuit, tailored skintight, his biceps bulging. Every so often without warning he would drop to the floor and punctuate his advice with a hundred fingertip push-ups.

Fruits and vegetables, he’d say. Protein, exercise. On NBC, Mondays at eight, Jack gave away the secrets of eternal life. All

you had to do was listen. Towing the boat now, he remembered that first swim. They said it couldn’t be done, a two-mile swim against strong ocean currents in fifty-degree water, but Jack did it in just under an hour. Now nineteen years later he was back, hands tied, legs bound, a thousand-pound boat chained to his waist.

In his mind there was no boat. There was no current. There were no sharks.

There was only his will. “Ask the guys who are doing serious triathlons,” he would later say, “if

there are any limits to what can be done. The limit is right here [in your head]. You’ve got to get physically fit between the ears. Muscles don’t know anything. They have to be taught.”

Jack was the puny kid with the pimples who gorged himself on sweets, the pup who went sugar-mad one day and tried to kill his brother with an ax. Then came the epiphany, the burning bush resolve. In a flash it came to him. He would unlock his body’s full potential. He would remake himself entirely, and by doing so change the world.

And so chubby, sugar-brained Jack invented exercise. He became the hero who could do a thousand jumping jacks and a thousand chin-ups in ninety

minutes. The muscle that trained itself to finish 1,033 push-ups in twenty minutes by climbing a twenty-five-foot rope with 140 pounds of weight strapped to his belt.

Everywhere he went, people came up to him on the street. It was the early days of television. He was part scientist, part magician, part god.

“I can’t die,” Jack told people. “It would ruin my image.” Now, in the water, he lunged forward using the flopping butterfly stroke

that he’d invented. The shore was in sight, news cameras massing by the water. The crowd had grown. They spilled over the horseshoe steps. Jack’s wife, Elaine, was among them, a former water ballerina who had chain- smoked and lived on donuts before she met Jack. “There he is,” someone said, pointing. A sixty-year-old man pulling a boat.

Handcuffed. Shackled. He was Houdini, except he wasn’t trying to escape. If Jack had his way he would be chained to this boat forever. They’d add a new one every day until he was pulling the whole world behind him. Until he was carrying all of us on his back into a future where human potential was limitless.

Age is a state of mind, he told people. That was the secret. He would finish this swim and bound from the surf. He would leap into the air, like a boxer after a knockout. Maybe he’d even drop and knock off a hundred push- ups. He felt that good. At Jack’s age, most men were stooped over, whining about their backs. They were nervous about the end. But not Jack. When he turned seventy he would swim for seventy hours pulling seventy boats filled with seventy people. When he turned a hundred they would rename the country after him. He would wake every morning with a boner of steel until the end of time.

On shore, Scott stood on tiptoes and stared out at the water. His parents were forgotten. The lunch he hadn’t liked. There was nothing on earth now except the scene before him. The boy watched as the man in the swim cap struggled against the tide. Stroke after stroke, muscle against nature, willpower in defiance of witless primal forces. The crowd was on its feet, urging the swimmer on, stroke by stroke, inch by inch, until Jack LaLanne was walking out of the surf, newsmen wading out to meet him. He was breathing hard, lips turning blue, but he was smiling. The newsmen untied his wrists, pulled the rope from his waist. The crowd was going crazy. Elaine waded out into the waves, and Jack lifted her into the air as if she were

nothing. The waterfront was electrified. People felt like they were witnessing a

miracle. For a long time after, they would find themselves believing that anything was possible. They would go through their day feeling elevated.

And Scott Burroughs, six years old, standing on the top step of the bleachers, found himself undone by a strange surge. There was a swelling in his chest, a feeling—elation? wonder?—that made him want to weep. Even at his young age he knew that he had witnessed something unquantifiable, some grand facet of nature that was more than animal. To do what this man had done—to strap weight to his body, bind his limbs, and swim two miles through freezing water—was something Superman would do. Was it possible? Was this Superman?

“Hell,” said his father, ruffling Scott’s hair. “That was really something. Wasn’t that something?”

But Scott had no words. He just nodded, his eyes fixed on the strong man in the surf, who had picked a news reporter up over his head and was mock- throwing him out into the water.

“I see this guy on TV all the time,” his dad said, “but I thought it was just a joke. With the puffed-up muscles. But man.”

He shook his head from wonder. “Is that Superman?” Scott asked. “What? No. That’s—I mean, just a guy.” Just a guy. Like Scott’s dad or Uncle Jake, mustached and potbellied. Like

Mr. Branch, his gym teacher with the Afro. Scott couldn’t believe it. Was it possible? Could anyone be Superman if they just put their mind to it? If they were willing to do what it took? Whatever it took?

Two days later, when they got back to Indianapolis, Scott Burroughs signed up for swim class.

Chapter 3

Waves

He surfaces, shouting. It is night. The salt water burns his eyes. Heat singes his lungs. There is no moon, just a diffusion of moonlight through the burly fog, wave caps churning midnight blue in front of him. Around him eerie orange flames lick the froth.

The water is on fire, he thinks, kicking away instinctively. And then, after a moment of shock and disorientation: The plane has crashed. Scott thinks this, but not in words. In his brain are images and sounds. A

sudden downward pitch. The panicked stench of burning metal. Screams. A woman bleeding from the head, broken glass glittering against her skin. And how everything that wasn’t tied down seemed to float for an endless moment as time slowed. A wine bottle, a woman’s purse, a little girl’s iPhone. Plates of food hovering in midair, spinning gently, entrées still in place, and then the screech of metal on metal and the barrel roll of Scott’s world ripping itself to pieces.

A wave smacks him in the face, and he kicks his feet to try to get higher in the water. His shoes are dragging him down, so he loses them, then forces his way out of his salt-soaked chinos. He shivers in the cold Atlantic current, treading water, legs scissoring, arms pushing the ocean away in hard swirls. The waves are quilted with froth, not the hard triangles of children’s drawings, but fractals of water, tiny waves stacking into larger ones. Out in the open water they come at him from all directions, like a pack of wolves

testing his defenses. The dying fire animates them, gives them faces of sinister intent. Scott treads his way into a 360-degree turn. Around him he sees humps of jagged wreckage bobbing, pieces of fuselage, a stretch of wing. The floating gasoline has already dissipated or burned down. Soon everything will be dark. Fighting panic, Scott tries to assess the situation. The fact that it’s August is in his favor. Right now the temperature of the Atlantic is maybe sixty-five degrees, cold enough for hypothermia, but warm enough to give him time to reach shore, if that’s possible. If he’s even close.

“Hey!” he shouts, turning himself in the water. “I’m here! I’m alive!” There have to be other survivors, he thinks. How can a plane crash and

only one person survive? He thinks about the woman sitting next to him, the banker’s chatty wife. He thinks about Maggie with her summer smile.

He thinks about the children. Fuck. There were children. Two, yes? A boy and a girl. How old? The girl was bigger. Ten maybe? But the boy was small, a toddler still.

“Hello!” he shouts, with added urgency, swimming now toward the biggest piece of wreckage. It looks like part of a wing. When he reaches it, the metal is hot to the touch and he kicks away hard, not wanting to get swept onto it by the waves and burned.

Did the plane break up on impact? he wonders. Or did it crack open on the way down, spilling passengers?

It seems impossible that he doesn’t know, but the data stream of memory is clogged with indecipherable fragments, pictures with no order, and right now he has no time to try to clarify anything.

Squinting in the dark, Scott feels himself rising suddenly on a heavy wave. He struggles to stay on top of it, realizing he can no longer avoid the obvious.

Straining to stay afloat, he feels something in his left shoulder pop. The ache he endured post-crash becomes a knife that cuts through him whenever he raises his left arm above his head. Kicking his legs, he tries to stretch the pain away, like you would a cramp, but it’s clear something in the socket is torn or broken. He will have to be careful. He still has partial motion—can manage a decent breaststroke—but if the shoulder gets worse he could find himself a one-armed man, adrift, injured, a tiny fish in the saltwater belly of a whale.

It occurs to him then that he may be bleeding. And that’s when the word sharks enters his mind.

For a moment there is nothing but pure animal panic. Higher reason evaporates. His heart rate soars, legs kicking wildly. He swallows salt water and starts to cough.

Stop, he tells himself. Slow down. If you panic right now, you will die. He forces himself to be calm, rotating slowly to try to get his bearings. If

he could see stars, he thinks, he could orient himself. But the fog is too thick. Should he swim east or west? Back toward the Vineyard or toward the mainland? And yet how will he even know which is which? The island he has come from floats like an ice cube in a soup bowl. At this distance, if Scott’s trajectory is off by even a few degrees he could easily swim right past it and never even realize.

Better, he thinks, to make for the long arm of the coast. If he keeps his stroke even, Scott thinks, rests occasionally, and doesn’t panic, he will hit land eventually. He is a swimmer, after all, no stranger to the sea.

You can do this, he tells himself. The thought gives him a surge of confidence. He knows from riding the ferry that Martha’s Vineyard is seven miles from Cape Cod. But their plane was headed to JFK, which means it would have flown south over the open water toward Long Island. How far did they travel? How far are they from shore? Can Scott swim ten miles with one good arm? Twenty?

He is a land mammal adrift in the open sea.

* * *

The plane will have sent a distress signal, he tells himself. The Coast Guard is on its way. But even as he thinks this, he realizes that the last flame has gone out, and the debris field is scattering with the current.

To keep himself from panicking, Scott thinks of Jack. Jack, the Greek god in his swim trunks, grinning, arms flexed into rippling towers, shoulders hunched forward, lats popped out. The crab. That’s what they called it. Snapping a crab. Scott kept his poster on the wall throughout his childhood. He had it there to remind himself that anything was possible. You could be an explorer or an astronaut. You could sail the seven seas, climb the tallest mountain. All you had to do was believe.

* * *

Underwater, Scott folds himself in half, peeling off his wet socks and flexing his toes against the cool deep. His left shoulder is starting to tighten up on him. He rests it as much as he can, pulling his weight with the right, settling for fifteen minutes at a time into a child’s dog paddle. Once more, he recognizes the sheer impossibility of what he must do, choose a direction at random and swim for who knows how many miles against strong ocean currents with only one working arm. Panic’s cousin, despair, threatens to settle in, but he shakes it off.

His tongue is already starting to feel dry in his mouth. Dehydration is another thing he will have to worry about, if he’s out here long enough. Around him the wind is picking up, roughing the seas. If I’m going to do this, Scott decides, I need to start swimming now. Once more he looks for a break in the fog, but there is none, so he closes his eyes for a moment. He tries to feel west, to divine it like the iron filling feels the magnet.

Behind you, he thinks. He opens his eyes, takes a deep breath. He is about to take his first stroke when he hears the noise. At first he

thinks it’s gulls, a high-pitched ululation that rises and falls. But then the sea lifts Scott a few feet, and at the wave’s peak he realizes with a shock what he’s hearing.

Crying. Somewhere a child is crying. He spins, trying to pinpoint the sound, but the waves rise and fall

unevenly, creating bounces and echoes. “Hey,” he calls. “Hey, I’m here!” The crying stops. “Hey,” he shouts, kicking against the undercurrent, “where are you?” He looks for the wreckage, but whatever pieces haven’t sunk have floated

off in any number of directions. Scott strains to hear, to find the child. “Hey!” he yells again. “I’m here. Where are you?” For a moment there is just the sound of the waves, and Scott starts to

wonder if maybe it was gulls he heard. But then a child’s voice comes, sharp and surprisingly close.

“Help!” Scott lunges toward the sound. He is no longer alone, no longer a solitary

man engaged in an act of self-preservation. Now he is responsible for the life

of another. He thinks of his sister, who drowned in Lake Michigan when she was sixteen, and he swims.

He finds the child clinging to a seat cushion thirty feet away. It is the boy. He can’t be more than four.

“Hey,” says Scott when he reaches him. “Hey, sweetie.” His voice catches in his throat as he touches the boy’s shoulder, and he

realizes he is crying. “I’m here,” he says. “I’ve got you.” The seat cushion doubles as a flotation device with arm straps and a cinch

belt, but it is designed for an adult, so Scott has a hard time getting it to stay on the boy, who is shivering from the cold.

“I threw up,” the boy says. Scott wipes his mouth gently. “That’s okay. You’re okay. Just a little seasick.” “Where are we?” the little boy asks. “We’re in the ocean,” Scott tells him. “There was a plane crash and we’re

in the ocean, but I’m going to swim to shore.” “Don’t leave me,” the boy says, panic in his voice. “No, no,” says Scott. “Of course not. I’m taking you with me. We’re just

going to—I have to get this thing to stay on you. And then I’ll—you’ll lie on top and I’ll pull you behind me. How does that sound?”

The boy nods, and Scott gets to work. It’s hard with only one working arm, but after a few torturous moments he manages to tie the flotation device straps into a weave. He slips the boy into the harness and studies the results. It’s not as tight as he’d like, but it should keep the boy above the water.

“Okay,” says Scott, “I need you to hold on tight and I’m going to pull you to shore. Can you—do you know how to swim?”

The kid nods. “Good,” says Scott. “So if you fall off the cushion I want you to kick real

hard and paddle with your arms, okay?” “Dog and cat,” says the boy. “That’s right. Dog and cat with your hands, just like Mommy taught you.” “My daddy.” “Sure. Just like Daddy taught you, okay?” The boy nods. Scott sees his fear. “Do you know what a hero is?” Scott asks him.

“He fights the bad guys,” the boy says. “That’s right. The hero fights the bad guys. And he never gives up, right?” “No.” “Well, I need you to be the hero now, okay? Just pretend the waves are the

bad guys and we’re gonna swim through them. And we can’t give up. We won’t. We’ll just keep swimming until we reach land, okay?”

The boy nods. Wincing, Scott loops his left arm through one of the straps. His shoulder is screaming now. Each swell that lifts them adds to his sense of disorientation.

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s do this.” Scott closes his eyes and tries once again to feel which way to swim. Behind you, he thinks. The shore is behind you. He rotates carefully around the boy in the water and starts to kick, but just

as he does moonlight breaks through the fog. A patch of starry black is briefly visible overhead. Scott searches desperately for constellations he recognizes, the gap closing quickly. Then he spots Andromeda, and then the Big Dipper, and with it the North Star.

It’s the other way, he realizes with a sickening vertigo. For a moment Scott feels an overwhelming urge to vomit. Had the sky not

cleared, then he and the boy would have set out into the Atlantic deep, the East Coast receding behind them with every kick, until exhaustion overtook them and they sank without a trace.

“Change of plans,” he tells the boy, trying to keep his voice light. “Let’s go the other way.”

“Okay.” “Okay. That’s good.” Scott kicks them into position. The farthest he has ever swum is fifteen

miles, but that was when he was nineteen, and he had trained for months. Plus the race was in a lake with no current. And both of his arms worked. Now it’s night, and the water temperature is dropping, and he will have to fight the strong Atlantic current for who knows how many miles.

If I survive this, he thinks, I’m going to send Jack LaLanne’s widow a fruit basket.

The thought is so ridiculous that, bobbing in the water, Scott starts to laugh, and for a moment can’t stop. He thinks of himself standing at the counter of Edible Arrangements, filling out the card.

With deepest affection—Scott. “Stop,” says the boy, afraid suddenly that his survival is in the hands of a

crazy person. “Okay,” says Scott, trying to reassure the boy. “It’s okay. Just a joke I

thought of. We’re going now.” It takes him a few minutes to find his stroke, a modified breaststroke,

pulling water more with the right hand than the left, legs kicking hard. It is a noisy mess, his left shoulder a bag of broken glass. A gnawing worry settles into his gut. They will drown, both of them. They will both be lost to the deep. But then somehow a rhythm presents itself, and he begins to lose himself in the repetition. Arm up and in, legs scissoring. He swims into the endless deep, ocean spray in his face. It’s hard to keep track of time. What time did the plane take off? Ten p.m.? How much time has passed? Thirty minutes? An hour? How long until the sun comes up? Eight hours? Nine?

Around him the sea is pockmarked and ever changing. Swimming, he tries not to think about the great tracts of open water. He tries not to picture the depth of the ocean or how the Atlantic in August is the birthplace of massive storm fronts, hurricanes that form in the cold troughs of undersea gorges, weather patterns colliding, temperature and moisture forming huge pockets of low pressure. Global forces conspiring, barbarian hordes with clubs and war paint who charge shrieking into the fray, and instantly the sky thickens, blackens, an ominous gale of lightning strikes, huge claps of thunder like the screams of battle, and the sea, which moments ago was calm, turns to hell on earth.

Scott swims in the fragile calm, trying to empty his mind. Something brushes against his leg. He freezes, starts to sink, then has to kick his legs to stay afloat. Shark, he thinks. You have to stay still. But if he stops moving he’ll drown. He rolls over onto his back, breathing deeply to inflate his chest. He has

never been more aware of his tenuous place on the food chain. Every instinct in his body screams at him not to turn his back on the deep, but he does. He floats in the sea as calmly as he can, rising and falling with the tide.

“What are we doing?” the boy asks. “Resting,” Scott tells him. “Let’s be real quiet now, okay? Don’t move.

Try to keep your feet out of the water.” The boy is silent. They rise and fall with the swells. Scott’s primal

reptilian brain orders him to flee. But he ignores it. A shark can smell a drop of blood in a million gallons of water. If either Scott or the boy is bleeding they’re done. But if not and they stay completely still the shark (if it was a shark) should leave them alone.

He takes the boy’s hand. “Where’s my sister?” the boy whispers. “I don’t know,” Scott whispers back. “The plane went down. We got

separated.” A long beat. “Maybe she’s okay,” Scott whispers. “Maybe your parents have her, and

they’re floating someplace else. Or maybe they’ve already been rescued.” After a long silence the boy says: “I don’t think so.” They float for a while with this thought. Overhead the fog begins to

dissipate. It starts slowly, the clearing, first a hint of sky peeking through, then stars appear, and finally the crescent moon, and just like that the ocean around them becomes a sequined dress. From his back, Scott finds the North Star, confirms that they’re going in the right direction. He looks over at the boy, eyes wide with fear. For the first time Scott can see his tiny face, the furrowed brow and bowed mouth.

“Hi,” says Scott, water lapping at his ears. The boy’s expression is flat, serious. “Hi,” he says back. “Are we rested?” Scott asks. The boy nods. “Okay,” says Scott, turning over. “Let’s go home.” He rights himself and starts to swim, certain that at any moment he will

feel a strike from below, the razor grip of a steam-shovel mouth, but it doesn’t come, and after a while he puts the shark out of his mind. He wills them forward, stroke after stroke, his legs moving behind him in figure eights, his right arm lunging and pulling, lunging and pulling. To keep his mind busy, he thinks of other liquids he would rather be swimming in; milk, soup, bourbon. An ocean of bourbon.

He considers his life, but the details seem meaningless now. His

ambitions. The rent that is due every month. The woman who has left him. He thinks of his work, brushstrokes on canvas. It is the ocean he is painting tonight, stroke by stroke, like Harold and his purple crayon, drawing a balloon as he falls.

Floating in the North Atlantic, Scott realizes that he has never been more clear about who he is, his purpose. It’s so obvious. He was put on this earth to conquer this ocean, to save this boy. Fate brought him to that beach in San Francisco forty-one years ago. It delivered to him a golden god, shackled at the wrists, battling the ocean winds. Fate gave Scott the urge to swim, to join first his junior high swim team, then his high school and college crews. It pushed him to swim practice every morning at five, before the sun was up, lap after lap in the chlorinated blue, the applause of the other boys’ splashing, the kree of the coach’s whistle. Fate led him to water, but it was will that drove him to victory in three state championships, will that pushed him to a first-place medal in the men’s two-hundred-meter freestyle in high school.

He came to love the pressure in his ears when he dove down to the pool’s apple-smooth bottom. He dreamed of it at night, floating like a buoy in the blue. And when he started painting in college, blue was the first color he bought.

* * *

He is starting to get thirsty when the boy says: “What’s that?” Scott lifts his head from the water. The boy is pointing at something to

their right. Scott looks over. In the moonlight Scott sees a hulking black wave creeping silently toward them, growing taller, gathering strength. Scott measures it instantly at twenty-five feet, a monster bearing down. Its humped head sparkles in the moonlight. A lightning bolt of panic hits him. There is no time to think. Scott turns and starts swimming toward it. He has maybe thirty seconds to close the gap. His left shoulder screams at him, but he ignores it. The boy is crying now, sensing that death is near, but there isn’t time to comfort him.

“Deep breath,” Scott yells. “Take a deep breath now.” The wave is too big, too fast. It is on them before Scott can get a good

breath himself.

He pulls the boy from the flotation device and dives. Something in his left shoulder pops. He ignores it. The boy struggles

against him, against the madman dragging him down to his death. Scott grips him tighter and kicks. He is a bullet, a cannonball streaking down through the water, diving under a wall of death. The pressure increases. His heart pounds, his lungs tick—swollen with air.

As the wave passes overhead, Scott is certain he has failed. He feels himself being sucked back up to the surface in a maelstrom of undertow. The wave will chew them up, he realizes, rip them apart. He kicks harder, holding the boy to his chest, fighting for every inch. Overhead the wave crests and topples into the sea behind them—twenty-five feet of ocean falling like a hammer, millions of gallons of angry surge—and the updraft is replaced in an instant by a churning rinse cycle.

They are spun and dragged. Down becomes up. Pressure threatens to rip them apart, man from boy, but Scott holds on. His lungs are screaming now. His eyes are burning from the salt. In his arms the boy has stopped struggling. The ocean is pure blackness, no sign of the stars or moon. Scott releases the air in his lungs and feels the bubbles cascade downward across his chin and arms. With all his strength he flips them over and kicks for the surface.

He emerges, coughing, his lungs half full of water. He screams them clear. The boy is limp in his arms, his head lying inert against Scott’s shoulder. Scott turns the boy until his back is against Scott’s chest, and then, with all his strength, compresses the boy’s lungs in rhythm until he too is coughing up salt water.

The seat cushion is gone, chewed up by the wave. Scott holds the boy with his good arm. Cold and exhaustion threaten to overwhelm him. For a time it’s all he can do just to keep them afloat.

“That was a big bad guy,” the boy says finally. For a moment Scott doesn’t understand the words, but then it comes back

to him. He told the boy that the waves were bad guys and they were the heroes.

So brave, Scott thinks, amazed. “I could really go for a cheeseburger,” he says, in the calm between

waves. “What about you?” “Pie,” the boy says after a moment.

“What kind?” “All of them.” Scott laughs. He cannot believe that he is still alive. He feels giddy for a

moment, his body thrumming with energy. For the second time tonight he has faced certain death and lived. He looks for the North Star.

“How much longer?” the boy wants to know. “It’s not far,” Scott tells him, though the truth is they could still be miles

from shore. “I’m cold,” says the boy, his teeth chattering. Scott hugs him. “Me too. Hold on, okay?” He maneuvers the boy onto his back, working to stay above the spray. The

boy hugs Scott’s neck, his breath loud in Scott’s ear. “Finish strong,” Scott says, as much for himself as the boy. He gives one more look to the sky, then starts to swim. He uses a

sidestroke now, scissoring his legs, one ear submerged in the salty murk. His movements are clumsier, jerky. He can’t seem to find a rhythm. Both of them are shivering, their core temperature falling with every passing second. It is just a matter of time. Soon his pulse and respiration will slow, even as his heart rate increases. Hypothermia will quicken its pace. A massive heart attack is not out of the question. The body needs warmth to operate. Without it, his major organs will start to fail.

Don’t give up. Never give up. He swims without pause, teeth chattering, refusing to surrender. The

weight of the boy threatens to sink him, but he kicks harder with his rubbery legs. Around him the sea is bruise purple and midnight blue, the cold white of the wave caps glimmering in the moonlight. The skin of his legs has started to chafe in the spots where they rub together, the salt doing its insidious damage. His lips are cracked and dry. Above them, seagulls chatter and glide like vultures waiting for the end. They mock him with their cries, and in his mind he tells them all to go to hell. There are things in the sea that are impossibly old, astonishingly large, great undersea rivers pulling warm water up from the Gulf of Mexico. The Atlantic Ocean is a nexus of highways, of undersea flyovers and bypasses. And there, like a speck on a dot on a flea, is Scott Burroughs, shoulder screaming as he fights for his life.

After what feels like hours, the boy shouts a single word. “Land.” For a moment Scott isn’t sure the boy actually spoke. It must be a dream.

But then the boy repeats the word, pointing. “Land.” It seems like a mistake, like the boy has mixed up the word for survival

with the word for something else. Scott lifts his head, half blind with exhaustion. Behind them, the sun is starting to rise, a gentle pinkening to the sky. At first Scott thinks the landmass ahead of them is just some low- hanging clouds on the horizon, but then he realizes that he is the one who’s moving.

Land. Miles of it. Open beach curving toward a rocky point. Streets and houses. Cities.

Salvation. Scott resists the urge to celebrate. There is still a mile to go at least, a hard

mile against riptides and undertow. His legs are quivering, his left arm numb. And yet he can’t help but feel a surge of elation.

He did it. He saved them. How is that possible?

* * *

Thirty minutes later a graying man in his underwear stumbles out of the surf, carrying a four-year-old boy. They collapse together onto the sand. The sun is up now, thin white clouds framed against a deep Mediterranean blue. The temperature is somewhere around sixty-eight degrees, gulls hanging weightless in the breeze. The man lies panting, a heaving torso ringed with useless rubber limbs. Now that they’re here he cannot move another inch. He is done.

Curled up against his chest, the boy is crying softly. “It’s okay,” Scott tells him. “We’re safe now. We’re gonna be okay.” There is an empty lifeguard station a few feet away. The sign on the back

reads MONTAUK STATE BEACH. New York. He swam all the way to New York. Scott smiles, a smile of pure, joyous fuck you. Well, hell, he thinks.

It’s going to be a beautiful day.

Chapter 4

A walleyed fisherman drives them to the hospital. The three crowd together on the worn bench seat of his pickup, bouncing on battered shocks. Scott is pantless and shoeless, without money or ID. Both he and the boy are racked with bone-deep chills. They have been in sixty-degree water for almost eight hours. Hypothermia has made them slow-witted and mute.

The fisherman speaks to them eloquently in Spanish about Jesus Christ. The radio is on, mostly static. Beneath their feet wind whistles into the cabin through a rust hole in the floor. Scott pulls the boy to him and tries to warm him through friction, rubbing the child’s arms and back vigorously with his one good hand. On the beach, Scott told the fisherman in his limited Spanish that the boy was his son. It seemed easier than trying to explain the truth, that they are strangers drawn together by a freak accident.

Scott’s left arm is completely useless now. Pain knifes through his body with every pothole, leaving him dizzy and nauseous.

You’re okay, he tells himself, repeating the words over and over. You made it. But deep down he still can’t believe they survived.

“Gracias,” he stutters as the pickup pulls into the crescent driveway of the Montauk hospital emergency room. Scott bucks the door open with his good shoulder and climbs down, every muscle in his body numb with exhaustion. The morning fog is gone, and the warm sun on his back and legs feels almost religious. Scott helps the boy jump down. Together they limp into the emergency room.

The waiting area is mostly empty. In the corner, a middle-aged man holds an icepack to his head, water dripping off his wrist onto the linoleum floor. On the other side of the room an elderly couple holds hands, their heads close

together. From time to time the woman coughs into a balled-up Kleenex she keeps clutched tightly in her left hand.

An intake nurse sits behind glass. Scott limps over to her, the boy holding on to his shirttails.

“Hi,” he says. The nurse gives him a quick once-over. Her name tag reads MELANIE.

Scott tries to imagine what he must look like. All he can think of is Wile E. Coyote after an ACME rocket has exploded in his face.

“We were in a plane crash,” he says. The words out loud are astonishing. The intake nurse squints at him. “I’m sorry.” “A plane from Martha’s Vineyard. A private plane. We crashed into the

sea. I think we’re hypothermic, and my—I can’t move my left arm. The collarbone may be broken.”

The nurse is still trying to work through it. “You crashed in the sea.” “We swam—I swam—I think it was ten miles. Maybe fifteen. We just

came ashore maybe an hour ago. A fisherman drove us here.” The words are making him dizzy, his lungs shutting down. “Look,” he says, “do you think we could get some help? At least the boy.

He’s only four.” The nurse looks at the boy, damp, shivering. “Is he your son?” “If I say yes will you get us a doctor?” The nurse sniffles. “There’s no need to get surly.” Scott feels his jaw clenching. “There is actually every need. We were in a fucking plane crash. Get the

damn doctor.” She stands, uncertain. Scott glances over at the ceiling-mounted television. The sound is down,

but onscreen are images of search-and-rescue boats on the ocean. A banner headline reads, PRIVATE PLANE FEARED LOST.

“There,” says Scott, pointing, “that’s us. Will you believe me now?” The nurse looks at the TV, images of fractured wreckage bobbing in the

sea. Her reaction is instantaneous, as if Scott has produced a passport at the border crossing after pantomiming a frantic search.

She pushes the intercom button. “Code Orange,” she says. “I need all available doctors to intake

immediately.” The cramping in Scott’s leg is beyond critical. He is dehydrated,

potassium-deficient, like a marathoner who has failed to give his body the nutrition it demands.

“Just,” he says, buckling to the floor, “one would do, probably.” He lies on the cool linoleum looking up at the boy. The boy’s face is

sober, worried. Scott tries to smile reassuringly, but even his lips are exhausted. In an instant they are surrounded by hospital personnel, voices shouting. Scott feels himself being lifted onto a gurney. The boy’s hand slips away.

“No!” the boy shouts. He is screaming, thrashing. A doctor is talking to him, trying to make the boy understand that they will take care of him, that nothing bad will happen. It doesn’t matter. Scott struggles to sit up.

“Kid,” he says, louder and louder until the boy looks at him. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

He climbs down off the gurney, his legs rubbery, barely able to stand. “Sir,” a nurse says, “you have to lie down.” “I’m fine,” Scott tells the doctors. “Help him.” To the boy he says: “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” The boy’s eyes, in daylight, are startlingly blue. After a moment he nods.

Scott, feeling light-headed, turns to the doctor. “We should do this fast,” he says, “if it’s not too much trouble.” The doctor nods. He is young and smart. You can see it in his eyes. “Fine,” he says, “but I’m getting you a wheelchair.” Scott nods. A nurse wheels over the chair and he falls into it. “Are you his father?” she asks him as they roll to the exam room. “No,” Scott tells her. “We just met.” Inside the exam bay, the doctor gives the boy a quick once-over, checking

for fractures, light in the eyes, follow my finger. “We need to start an IV,” he tells Scott. “He’s severely dehydrated.” “Hey, buddy,” Scott tells the boy, “the doctor needs to put a needle in your

arm, okay? They need to give you some fluids, and, uh, vitamins.”

“No needles,” the boy says, fear in his eyes. He is one wrong word away from losing his mind.

“I don’t like them either,” says Scott, “but you know what? I’ll get one too, okay? We’ll do it together. How about that?”

The boy thinks about this. It seems fair. He nods. “Okay, good,” says Scott. “Let’s—hold my hand and we’ll—don’t look,

okay?” Scott turns to the doctor. “Can you do us together?” he asks. The doctor nods, issues orders. The nurses ready the needles and hang IV

bags on metal arms. “Look at me,” Scott tells the boy when the time comes. The boy’s eyes are blue saucers. He flinches when the needle goes in. His

eyes tear up and his bottom lip quivers, but he doesn’t cry. “You’re my hero,” Scott tells him. “My absolute hero.” Scott can feel the fluids entering his system. Almost immediately the urge

to pass out dissipates. “I’m going to give you both a mild sedative,” the doctor says. “Your

bodies have been working overtime just to stay warm. You need to downshift.”

“I’m fine,” Scott says. “Do him first.” The doctor sees there’s no point in arguing. A needle is inserted into the

boy’s IV line. “You’re going to rest a little bit,” Scott tells him. “I’ll be right here. I may

go outside for a minute, but I’ll come back. Okay?” The boy nods. Scott touches the crown of his head. He remembers when

he was nine and he fell out of a tree and broke his leg. How he was brave through the whole thing, but when his dad showed up at the hospital Scott started bawling. And now this boy’s parents are most likely dead. No one is going to walk through the door and give him permission to fall apart.

“That’s good,” he tells the boy as his little eyes start to flutter shut. “You’re doing so good.”

After the boy is asleep, Scott is wheeled into a separate exam room. They lay him on a gurney and cut off his shirt. His shoulder feels like an engine that has seized.

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asks him. He is maybe thirty-eight with

smile lines around his eyes. “You know,” says Scott, “things are starting to turn around.” The doctor does a surface exam, checking for obvious cuts or bruises. “Did you really swim all that way in the dark?” Scott nods. “Do you remember anything?” “I’m a little fuzzy on details,” Scott tells him. The doctor checks his eyes. “Hit your head?” “I think so. On the plane before we crashed…” The penlight blinds him for a moment. The doctor clucks. “Eye response looks good. I don’t think you have a concussion.” Scott exhales. “I don’t think I could have done that—swim all night—with a

concussion.” The doctor considers this. “You’re probably right.” As he warms up and his fluids are replaced, things start to come back to

Scott, the world at large, the concept of countries and citizens, of daily life, the Internet, television. He thinks of his three-legged dog, staying with a neighbor, how close she came to never eating another under-the-table meatball again. Scott’s eyes fill with tears. He shakes them off.

“What’s the news saying?” he asks. “Not much. They say the plane took off around ten o’clock last night. Air

traffic control had it on their radar for maybe fifteen minutes, then it just disappeared. No mayday. Nothing. They were hoping the radio was broken and you made an emergency landing someplace. But then a fishing boat spotted a piece of the wing.”

For a moment Scott is back in the ocean, treading water in the inky deep, surrounded by orange flames.

“Any other…survivors?” he asks. The doctor shakes his head. He is focused on Scott’s shoulder. “Does this hurt,” he says, gently lifting Scott’s arm. The pain is instantaneous. Scott yells. “Let’s get an X-ray and a CAT scan,” the doctor tells the nurse. He turns to Scott.

“I ordered a CAT scan for the boy too,” he says. “I want to make sure there’s no internal bleeding.”

He lays a hand on Scott’s arm. “You saved his life,” he says. “You know that, right?” For the second time, Scott fights back tears. He is unable, for a long

moment, to say anything. “I’m going to call the police,” the doctor tells him. “Let them know you’re

here. If you need anything, anything, tell the nurse. I’ll be back to check on you in a few.”

Scott nods. “Thanks,” he says. The doctor stares at Scott for a moment longer, then shakes his head. “Goddamn,” he says, smiling.

* * *

The next hour is filled with tests. Flush with warm fluids, Scott’s body temperature returns to normal. They give him Vicodin for the pain, and he floats for a while in twilight oblivion. It turns out his shoulder is dislocated, not broken. The procedure to pop it back into place is an epic lightning strike of violence followed immediately by a cessation of pain so intense it’s as if the damage has been erased from his body retroactively.

At Scott’s insistence, they put him in the boy’s room. Normally, children stay in a separate wing, but an exception is made given the circumstances. The boy is awake now, eating Jell-O, when they wheel Scott inside.

“Any good?” Scott wants to know. “Green,” the boy says, frowning. Scott’s bed is by the window. He has never felt anything as comfortable as

these scratchy hospital sheets. Across the street there are trees and houses. Cars drive past, windshields flashing. In the bike lane, a woman jogs against traffic. In a nearby yard, a man in a blue ball cap push-mows his lawn.

It seems impossible, but life goes on. “You slept, huh?” says Scott. The boy shrugs. “Is my mommy here yet?” he says. Scott tries to keep his face neutral.

“No,” Scott tells him. “They’ve called your—I guess you have an aunt and uncle in Westchester. They’re on their way.”

The boy smiles. “Ellie,” he says. “You like her?” “She’s funny,” the boy says. “Funny is good,” says Scott, his eyelids fluttering. Exhausted doesn’t

describe the kind of heavy-metal gravity pulling at his bones right now. “I’m going to sleep for a bit, if that’s okay.”

If the boy thinks otherwise, Scott never hears it. He is asleep before the kid can answer.

* * *

He sleeps for a while, a dreamless slumber, like a castle dungeon. When he wakes the boy’s bed is empty. Scott panics. He is half out of bed when the bathroom door opens and the boy comes out wheeling his IV stand.

“I had to tinkle,” he says. A nurse comes in to check Scott’s blood pressure. She’s brought a stuffed

animal for the boy, a brown bear with a red heart in its paws. He takes it with a happy sound and immediately starts to play.

“Kids,” the nurse says, shaking her head. Scott nods. Now that he’s slept he is anxious to get more details about the

crash. He asks the nurse if he can get out of bed. She nods, but tells him not to go far.

“I’ll be back, buddy, okay?” The boy nods, playing with his bear. Scott puts a thin cotton robe over his hospital gown and walks his IV stand

down the hall to the empty patient lounge. It’s a narrow interior room with particleboard chairs. Scott finds a news channel on TV, turns up the volume.

“…the plane was an OSPRY, manufactured in Kansas. On board were David Bateman, president of ALC News, and his family. Also confirmed now as passengers are Ben Kipling and his wife, Sarah. Kipling was a senior partner at Wyatt, Hathoway, the financial giant. Again, the plane is believed to have gone down in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of New York sometime after ten p.m. last night.”

Scott stares at the footage, helicopter shots of gray ocean swells. Coast Guard boats and rubbernecking weekend sailors. Even though he knows the wreckage would have drifted, maybe even a hundred miles by now, he can’t help but think that he was down there not that long ago, an abandoned buoy bobbing in the dark.

“Reports are coming in now,” says the anchor, “that Ben Kipling may have been under investigation by the Treasury Department’s Office of Foreign Assets Control, and that charges were forthcoming. The scope and source of the investigation aren’t yet clear. More on this story as it develops.”

A photo of Ben Kipling appears on the screen, younger and with more hair. Scott remembers the eyebrows. He realizes that everyone else on that plane except he and the boy exist now only in the past tense. The thought makes the hair on his neck flutter and stand, and for a moment he thinks he may pass out. Then there is a knock on the door. Scott looks up. He sees a group of men in suits hovering in the hallway.

“Mr. Burroughs,” says the knocker. He is in his early fifties, an African American man with graying hair.

“I’m Gus Franklin with the National Transportation Safety Board.” Scott starts to stand. A reflex of social protocol. “No, please,” says Gus. “You’ve been through a lot.” Scott settles back onto the sofa, pulling the cotton robe closed over his

legs. “I was just—watching it on TV,” he says. “The rescue. Salvage? I’m not

sure what to call it. I think I’m still in shock.” “Of course,” says Gus. He looks around the small room. “Let’s—I’m gonna say four people max in this room,” he tells his cohorts.

“Otherwise, it’s gonna get a little claustrophobic.” There is a quick conference. Ultimately, they agree on six, Gus and two

others (one man and one woman) in the room; two more in the doorway. Gus sits beside Scott on the sofa. The woman is to the left of the television. A trim, bearded man to her right. They are, for want of a better word, nerds. The woman has a ponytail and glasses. The man sports an eight-dollar haircut and a JCPenney suit. The two men in the doorway are more serious, well dressed, military haircuts.

“As I said,” says Gus, “I’m with the NTSB. Leslie’s with the FAA and Frank is with OSPRY. And in the doorway is Special Agent O’Brien from

the FBI and Barry Hex from the Treasury’s OFAC.” “The OFAC,” says Scott. “I just saw something about that on the TV.” Hex chews gum silently. “If you feel up to it, Mr. Burroughs,” says Gus, “we’d like to ask you

some questions about the flight, who was on it, and the circumstances leading up to the crash.”

“Assuming it was a crash,” says O’Brien. “And not an act of terrorism.” Gus ignores this. “Here’s what I know,” he tells Scott. “As of now we’ve found no other

survivors. Nor have we recovered any bodies. A few pieces of wreckage were found floating about twenty-nine miles off the coast of Long Island. We’re examining them now.”

He leans forward, placing his hands on his knees. “You’ve been through a lot, so if you want to stop just say so.” Scott nods. “Somebody said the boy’s aunt and uncle are coming from Westchester,”

he says. “Do we know when they’ll get here?” Gus looks at O’Brien, who ducks out of the room. “We’re checking that for you,” says Gus. He pulls a file folder from his

briefcase. “So the first thing I need to do is confirm how many people were on the flight.”

“Don’t you have, I mean, an itinerary?” Scott asks. “Private jets file flight plans, but their passenger rosters are pretty

unreliable.” He looks over his paperwork. “Am I right in saying your name is Scott Burroughs?” “Yes.” “Do you mind giving me your Social Security number? For our records.” Scott recites the number. Gus writes it down. “Thanks,” he says. “That helps. There are sixteen Scott Burroughs in the

tristate area. We weren’t sure exactly which one we were dealing with.” He offers Scott a smile. Scott tries to work up an encouraging response. “From what we’ve been able to piece together,” Gus tells him, “the flight

was crewed by a captain, a first officer, and a flight attendant. Would you recognize the names if I said them?”

Scott shakes his head. Gus makes a note.

“Passenger-wise,” says Gus, “we know that David Bateman chartered the flight and that he and his family—wife, Maggie, and two children, Rachel and JJ—were on board.”

Scott thinks of the smile Maggie gave him when he boarded. Warm and welcoming. A woman he knew in passing, small talk at the market—How are you? How are the kids?—the occasional conversation about his work. That she is dead right now at the bottom of the Atlantic makes him want to throw up.

“And finally,” says Gus, “in addition to yourself, we believe that Ben Kipling and his wife, Sarah, were on board. Can you confirm that?”

“Yes,” says Scott. “I met them when I got on the plane.” “Describe Mr. Kipling for me, please,” asks Agent Hex. “Uh, maybe five-eleven, gray hair. He had, uh, very prominent eyebrows.

I remember that. And his wife was very chatty.” Hex looks at O’Brien, nods. “And just so we’re clear,” says Gus. “Why were you on the plane?” Scott looks at their faces. They are detectives scrambling for facts, filling

in missing pieces. A plane has crashed. Was it mechanical failure? Human error? Who can be blamed? Who is liable?

“I was—” says Scott, then starts again, “—I met Maggie, Mrs. Bateman, on the island a few weeks ago. At the farmers market. I would—I went there every morning for coffee and a bialy. And she would come in with the kids. But sometimes alone. And we started talking one day.”

“Were you sleeping with her?” asks O’Brien. Scott thinks about this. “I wasn’t,” he says. “Not that it’s relevant.” “Let us decide what’s relevant,” O’Brien says. “Sure,” says Scott, “though maybe you can explain to me how the sexual

interactions of a passenger in a plane crash are relevant to your—what is this? —investigation.”

Gus nods quickly three times. They are getting off course. Every second wasted takes them farther from the truth.

“Back to the point,” he says. Scott holds O’Brien’s eye for a long antagonistic moment, then continues. “I ran into Maggie again Sunday morning. I told her I had to go to New

York for a few days. She invited me to fly with them.”

“And why were you going to New York?” “I’m a painter. I’ve been—I live on the Vineyard and I was going in to

meet with my rep and talk to some galleries about doing a show. My plan was to take the ferry to the mainland. But Maggie invited me, and, well, a private plane. The whole thing seemed very—I almost didn’t go.”

“But you did.” Scott nods. “At the last minute. I threw some things together. They were actually

closing the doors when I ran up.” “Lucky for the boy you made it,” says Leslie from the FAA. Scott thinks about it. Was it lucky? Is there anything lucky about surviving

a tragedy? “Did Mr. Kipling seem agitated to you?” Hex interjects, clearly impatient.

He has his own investigation and it has little to do with Scott. Gus shakes him off. “Let’s do this in order,” he says. “I’m leading this—it’s my investigation.” He turns to Scott. “The airport log says the plane took off at ten oh six.” “Sounds right,” says Scott. “I didn’t look at my phone.” “Can you describe the takeoff?” “It was—smooth. I mean, it was my first private jet.” He looks at Frank, the OSPRY rep. “Very nice,” he says. “Except for the crashing, I mean.” Frank looks stricken. “So you don’t remember anything unusual?” Gus asks. “Any sounds or

jostling out of the ordinary?” Scott thinks back. It happened so fast. Before he could even get his seat

belt on they were taxiing. And Sarah Kipling was talking to him, asking him about his work and how he knew Maggie. And the girl was on her iPhone, listening to music or playing a game. The boy was sleeping. And Kipling was —what was he doing?

“I don’t think so,” he says. “I remember—you felt the force of it more. The power. I guess that’s what a jet is. But then we were off the ground and rising. Most of the shades were closed and it was very light in the cabin. There was a baseball game on the TV.”

“Boston played last night,” says O’Brien.

“Dworkin,” says Frank in a knowing way, and the two feds in the doorway smile.

“I don’t know what that means,” Scott says, “but I also remember music. Something jazzy. Sinatra maybe?”

“And did there come a time when something unusual happened?” Gus asks.

“Well, we fell into the ocean,” says Scott. Gus nods. “And how exactly did that happen?” “Well—I mean—it’s hard to remember exactly,” Scott tells him. “The

plane turned suddenly, pitched, and I—” “Take your time,” says Gus. Scott thinks back. The takeoff, the offered glass of wine. Images flash

through his mind, an astronaut’s vertigo, a blare of sounds. Metal shrieking. The disorienting whirl. Like a movie negative that has been cut and reassembled at random. It is the job of the human brain to assemble all the input of our world—sights, sounds, smells—into a coherent narrative. This is what memory is, a carefully calibrated story that we make up about our past. But what happens when those details crumble? Hailstones on a tin roof. Fireflies firing at random. What happens when your life can’t be translated into a linear narrative?

“There was banging,” he says. “I think. Some kind of—I want to say concussion.”

“Like an explosion?” asks the man from OSPRY, hopefully. “No. I mean, I don’t think so. It was more like—a knocking and then—at

the same time the plane kind of—dropped.” Gus thinks about saying something then, a follow-up question, but

doesn’t. In his mind, Scott hears a scream. Not of terror, but an involuntary

expulsion, a reflexive vocal reaction to something unexpected. It is the sound fear makes when it first appears, the sudden, visceral realization that you are not safe, that this activity you are engaged in is deeply, deeply risky. Your body makes the sound and immediately you break out in a cold sweat. Your sphincter clenches. Your mind, which up until this moment has been moving along at pedestrian speeds, suddenly races forward, running for its life. Fight or flight. It is the moment when the intellect fails and something primal,