What type of sentence states, summarizes, or forecasts the main point of the paragraph?

Markel, M. (2015). Technical communication (11th ed.). Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Chapter 9: Emphasizing Important Information

MOST OF US WOULD AGREE that there is too much information for us to learn—and not nearly enough time for us to learn it. That is why instant messages and microblogs such as Twitter are so popular: we can read them quickly and then get on to the next thing.

But much of what needs to be communicated in the workplace cannot be reduced to 140 characters or an 8-second video. For instance, a plan to create a new interactive corporate website that will enable vendors and customers to do business with the company conveniently and securely will require many hallway conversations, emails, and meetings—and a number of lengthy documents.

When you write information longer than a few hundred words, you want to help your readers understand what you are writing about and what your main point is. you want to help them see how you have organized the information. you want to emphasize the most-important information. doing so helps them find that information, understand it, and remember it. your audience will be able to read your document faster and understand it better. And they will be more likely to agree with your ideas and view your recommendations positively.

This chapter discusses a number of techniques to help you emphasize the most-important information in your technical documents: writing clear and informative titles and headings, using lists, and structuring paragraphs effectively.

Writing clear, informative titles

The title of a document is crucial because it is your first chance to define your subject and purpose for your readers, giving them their first clue to whether the document contains the information they need. The title is an implicit promise to readers: “This document is about Subject A, and it was written to achieve Purpose B.” Everything that follows has to relate clearly to the subject and purpose defined in the title; if it doesn’t, either the title is misleading or the document has failed to make good on the title’s promise.

You might want to put off giving a final title to your document until you have completed the document, because you cannot be sure that the subject and purpose you established during the planning stages will not change. However, you should jot down a working title before you start drafting; you can revise it later. To give yourself a strong sense of direction, make sure the working title defines not only the subject of the document but also its pur- pose. The working title “Snowboarding Injuries” states the subject but not the purpose. “How To Prevent Snowboarding Injuries” is better because it helps keep you focused on your purpose.

An effective title is precise. For example, if you are writing a feasibility study on the subject of offering free cholesterol screening at your company, the title should contain the key terms free cholesterol screening and feasibility. The following title would be effective:

offering Free cholesterol Screening at Thrall Associates: A Feasibility Study

If your document is an internal report discussing company business, you might not need to identify the company. In that case, the following would be clear:

offering Free cholesterol Screening: A Feasibility Study

Or you could present the purpose before the subject:

A Feasibility Study of offering Free cholesterol Screening

Avoid substituting general terms, such as health screening for cholesterol screening or study for feasibility study; the more precise your terms, the more useful your readers will find the title. An added benefit of using precise terms is that your document can be more accurately and effectively indexed in databases and online libraries, increasing the chances that someone researching your subject will be able to find the document.

Before settling on a title, test its effectiveness by asking whether readers will be able to paraphrase it in a clear, meaningful sentence. For instance, “A Feasibility Study of Offering Free Cholesterol Screening to Employees of Thrall Associates” could be paraphrased as follows: “This document reports on a project to determine whether it is feasible to offer free cholesterol screening to employees of Thrall Associates.”

But notice what happens when the title is incomplete: “Free Cholesterol Screening.” With only those three words to go on, the reader has to guess about the document’s purpose. The reader knows that the document has something to do with free cholesterol screening, but is the writer recom- mending that screening be implemented, modified, or discontinued? Or is the writer reporting on the success of an existing screening program?

Clear, comprehensive titles can be long. If you need eight or ten words to say what you want to say about your subject and purpose, use them.

Writing clear, informative headings

Headings, which are lower-level titles for the sections and subsections in a document, do more than announce the subject that will be discussed in the document. Collectively, they create a hierarchy of information, dividing the document into major sections and subdividing those sections into subsec- tions. In this way, coherent headings communicate the relative importance and generality of the information that follows, helping readers recognize major sections as primary (likely to contain more-important or more-general information) and subsections as secondary or subordinate (likely to contain less-important or more-specific information).

Clear, informative headings communicate this relationship not only through their content but also through their design. For this reason, make sure that the design of a primary heading (sometimes referred to as a level 1 heading, 1 heading, or A heading) clearly distinguishes it from a subordinate heading (a level 2 heading, 2 heading, or B heading), and that the design of that subordinate heading clearly distinguishes it from yet a lower level of subordi- nate heading (a level 3 heading, 3 heading, or C heading).

The headings used in this book illustrate this principle, as does the exam- ple below. Notice that the example uses both typography and indentation to distinguish one heading from another and to communicate visually how information at one level logically relates to information at other levels.

Level 1 Heading

Level 2 Heading

level 3 heading

The best way to make sure you use typefaces and indentation consistently is to use the Styles function. As discussed in Chapter 3, a style is a set of for- matting instructions that you can apply to all titles, headings, lists, or other design elements that you want to look alike. Because you create a style only once but then apply it to any number of headings or other design elements, you’re far more likely to format these items consistently than if you were to format each one individually.

Styles also speed up the process of changing the appearance of titles, headings, and lists. As you revise, you might notice that two levels of head- ings are insufficiently distinct. You can easily use the Styles function to change the design of one of those headings so that it is distinct and therefore does a better job of helping readers follow the discussion and understand where they are in the document. In addition, you can create new styles to ensure consistency when, for instance, you further subdivide a subsection of a document or introduce bulleted lists into the discussion.

Because a heading is a type of title, much of the advice about titles in the previous section also applies to headings. For instance, a clear, informative heading is crucial because it announces the subject and purpose of the dis- cussion that follows it, just as a title does for the whole document. Announc- ing the subject and purpose in a heading helps readers understand what they will be reading or, in some cases, helps them decide whether they need to read the section at all. For the writer, a heading eliminates the need for awkward transitional sentences such as “Let us now turn to the advantages of the mandatory enrollment process” or “The next step in replacing the saw blade is to remove the arbor nut from the drive shaft.”

Effective headings help both reader and writer by forecasting not only the subject and purpose of the discussion that follows but also its scope and organization. When readers encounter the heading “Three Health Benefits of Yoga: Improved Muscle Tone, Enhanced Flexibility, Better Posture,” they can reasonably assume that the discussion will consist of three parts (not two or four) and that it will begin with a discussion of muscle tone, followed by a discussion of flexibility and then posture.

Because headings introduce text that discusses or otherwise elaborates on the subject defined by the heading, avoid back-to-back headings. In other words, avoid following one heading directly with another heading:

3. approaches to neighborhood Policing

3.1 Community Policing

According to the copS Agency (a component of the u.S. department of Justice), “community policing focuses on crime and social disorder.” . . .

What’s wrong with back-to-back headings? First, they’re illogical. If your document contains a level 1 heading, you have to say something at that level before jumping to the discussion at level 2. Second, back-to-back headings distract and confuse readers. The heading “3. Approaches to Neighborhood Policing” announces to readers that you have something to say about neigh- borhood policing—but you don’t say anything. Instead, another, subordinate heading appears, announcing to readers that you now have something to say about community policing.

To avoid confusing and frustrating readers, separate the headings with text, as in this example:

3. approaches to neighborhood Policing

over the past decade, the scholarly community has concluded that community policing offers significant advantages over the traditional approach based on patrolling in police cars. however, the traditional approach has some distinct strengths. in the following discussion, we define each approach and then explain its advantages and disadvantages. Finally, we profile three departments that have successfully made the transition to community policing while preserving the major strengths of the traditional approach.

3.1 Community Policing

According to the copS Agency (a component of the u.S. department of Justice), “community policing focuses on crime and social disorder.” . . .

The text after the heading “3. Approaches to Neighborhood Policing” is called an advance organizer. It indicates the background, purpose, scope, and organi- zation of the discussion that follows it. Advance organizers give readers an overview of the discussion’s key points before they encounter the details in the discussion itself.

Revising Headings

Follow these four suggestions to make your headings more effective.

avoid long noun strings. The following example is ambiguous and hard to understand:

proposed production enhancement Strategies Analysis Techniques

is the heading introducing a discussion of techniques for analyzing strategies that have been proposed? or is it introducing a discussion that proposes using certain techniques to analyze strategies? Readers shouldn’t have to ask such questions. Adding prepositions makes the heading clearer:

Techniques for Analyzing the proposed Strategies for enhancing production

This heading announces more clearly that the discussion describes techniques for analyzing strategies, that those strategies have been proposed, and that the strategies are aimed at enhancing production. it’s a longer heading than the original, but that’s okay. it’s also much clearer.

Be informative. in the preceding example, you could add information about how many techniques will be described:

Three Techniques for Analyzing the proposed Strategies for enhancing production

you can go one step further by indicating what you wish to say about the three techniques:

Advantages and disadvantages of the Three Techniques for Analyzing the proposed Strategies for enhancing production

Again, don’t worry if the heading seems long; clarity is more important than conciseness.

use a grammatical form appropriate to your audience. The question form works well for readers who are not knowledgeable about the subject (Benson, 1985) and for nonnative speakers:

What Are the Three Techniques for Analyzing the proposed Strategies for enhancing production?

The “how-to” form is best for instructional material, such as manuals: how To Analyze the proposed Strategies for enhancing production

The gerund form (-ing) works well for discussions and descriptions of processes: Analyzing the proposed Strategies for enhancing production

avoid back-to-back headings. use advance organizers to separate the headings.

Writing clear, informative Lists

Technical documents often contain lists. Lists are especially effective in convey- ing information that can be itemized (such as three physical conditions that frequently lead to patients’ developing adult-onset diabetes). Lists also work well for presenting information that can be expressed in a sequence (such as the operation of a four-stroke gasoline engine: intake, compression, ignition, exhaust).

This section explains how to create effective paragraph lists and sentence lists.

WrITe eFFeCTIve ParagraPH LIsTs

A paragraph list is a list in which the bulleted or numbered items are para- graphs, not merely phrases or sentences. Figure 9.1 shows the same informa- tion presented in traditional paragraphs and in a paragraph list.

For readers, the chief advantage of a paragraph list is that it makes the information easier to read and remember. Readers see the structure of the discussion—often in a single glance—before they read the details. Once they start reading the list, they can more easily follow the discussion because its design mirrors its logic. For example, a paragraph-list discussion of the four stages of mitosis (prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase) would arrange the stages in the order in which they occur and would use bullets or numbers to distinguish one stage from another. As a result, the paragraph-list format enables readers to navigate the discussion easily and confidently, if only because they can see where the discussion of prophase ends and the discus- sion of metaphase begins.

For you as a writer, turning paragraphs into lists has four advantages:

• it forces you to look at the big picture. While drafting a document, you can easily lose sight of the information outside the paragraph you are writing. Turning traditional paragraphs into paragraph lists expands your perspective beyond a single paragraph, increasing your chances of noticing that an important item is missing or that an item is unclear. It also increases the chances that you’ll think more deeply about how items and key ideas are related to one another.

• it forces you to examine the sequence. As you write paragraph lists, you get a chance to reconsider whether the sequence of the information is logical. Sometimes, the visual dimension that lists add to the text will reveal an illogical sequence you might have overlooked in traditional paragraphs.

• it forces you to create a helpful lead-in. Every list requires a lead-in, or introduction to the list; without one, readers are left to guess at how the list relates to the discussion and how the items in the list relate to each other. In the lead-in, you can add a number signal that further forecasts the content and organization of the material that follows:

Auto sales declined last year because of four major factors:

• it forces you to tighten and clarify your prose. When you make a list, you look for a word, phrase, or sentence that identifies each item. Your focus shifts from weaving sentences together in a paragraph to highlighting key ideas, giving you an opportunity to critically consider those key ideas and revise accordingly.

WrITe eFFeCTIve senTenCe LIsTs

A sentence list is a list in which the bulleted or numbered items are words, phrases, or single sentences. Figure 9.2 shows a traditional sentence and a list presenting the same information.

If you don’t have enough space to list the items vertically or if you are not permitted to do so, number the items within the sentence:

We recommend that more work on heat-exchanger performance be done (1) with a larger variety of different fuels at the same temperature, (2) with similar fuels at different temperatures, and (3) with special fuels such as diesel fuel and shale-oil-derived fuels.

Creating Effective Lists

These five suggestions will help you write clearer, more effective paragraph lists and sentence lists.

set off each listed item with a number, a letter, or a symbol (usually a bullet).

— use numbered lists to suggest sequence (as in the steps in a set of instruc- tions) or priority (the first item being the most important). using numbers helps readers see the total number of items in a list. For sublists, use lowercase letters:

1. item a. subitem

b. subitem

2. item a. subitem

b. subitem

— use bullets to avoid suggesting either sequence or priority, such as for lists of people (everyone except number 1 gets offended). For sublists, use dashes.

• Item – subitem

– subitem — use an open (unshaded) box ( ) for checklists.

Break up long lists. Because most people can remember only 5 to 9 items easily, break up lists of 10 or more items.

oRiGinAl liST

Tool kit: • handsaw • coping saw • hacksaw • compass saw • adjustable wrench • box wrench • Stillson wrench • socket wrench • open-end wrench • Allen wrench

ReviSed liST

Tool kit: • Saws

– handsaw – coping saw – hacksaw – compass saw

• Wrenches – adjustable wrench – box wrench – Stillson wrench – socket wrench

– open-end wrench – Allen wrench

Present the items in a parallel structure. A list is parallel if all the items have the same grammatical form. For instance, in the parallel list below, each item is a verb phrase.

nonpARAllel

here is the sequence we plan to follow: 1. writing of the preliminary proposal 2. do library research 3. interviewwiththeBemcovicepresident 4. first draft 5. revision of the first draft 6. preparing the final draft

pARAllel

here is the sequence we plan to follow:

1. write the preliminary proposal

2. do library research

3. interview the Bemco vice president 4. write the first draft

5. revise the first draft 6. prepare the final draft structure and punctuate the lead-in correctly. The lead-in tells readers how the list relates to the discussion and how the items in the list relate to each other. Although standards vary from one organization to another, the most common lead-in consists of a grammatically complete clause followed by a colon, as shown in the following examples:

Following are the three main assets: The three main assets are as follows: The three main assets are the following:

if you cannot use a grammatically complete lead-in, use a dash or no punctuation at all:

The committee found that the employee • did not cause the accident • acted properly immediately after the accident • reported the accident according to procedures

Punctuate the list correctly. Because rules for punctuating lists vary, you should find out whether people in your organization have a preference. if not, punctuate lists as follows: — if the items are phrases, use a lowercase letter at the start. do not use a period

or a comma at the end. The white space beneath the last item indicates the end of the list.

The new facility will offer three advantages: • lower leasing costs • shorter commuting distance • a larger pool of potential workers

— if the items are complete sentences, use an uppercase letter at the start and a period at the end.

The new facility will offer three advantages: • The leasing costs will be lower. • The commuting distance for most employees will be shorter. • The pool of potential workers will be larger.

— if the items are phrases followed by complete sentences, start each phrase with an uppercase letter and end it with a period. Begin the complete sentences with uppercase letters and end them with periods. use italics to emphasize the phrases.

The new facility will offer three advantages:

• Lower leasing costs. The lease will cost $1,800 per month; currently we pay $2,300.

• Shorter commuting distance. our workers’ average commute of 18 minutes would drop to 14 minutes.

• Larger pool of potential workers. in the last decade, the population has shifted westward to the area near the new facility. As a result, we would increase our potential workforce in both the semiskilled and the managerial categories by relocating.

— if the list consists of two kinds of items—phrases and complete sentences— capitalize each item and end it with a period.

The new facility will offer three advantages:

• Lower leasing costs.

• Shorter commuting distance. Our workers’ average commute of 18 minutes would drop to 14 minutes.

• Larger pool of potential workers. In the last decade, the population has shifted westward to the area near the new facility. As a result, we would increase our potential workforce in both the semiskilled and the managerial categories by relocating.

in most lists, the second and subsequent lines, called turnovers, align under the first let- ter of the first line, highlighting the bullet or number to the left of the text. This hanging indentation helps the reader see and understand the organization of the passage.

In many other cultures, headings and lists are considered too informal for some documents. Try to find samples written by people from the culture you are addressing to examine their use of headings and lists. Consider the fol- lowing questions in studying documents from other cultures:

• how does the writer make the information accessible? That is, how does the writer help readers easily find the information they need, without flipping through pages or clicking links unnecessarily?

• how does the writer show the relationship among types of information? Are they grouped, highlighted, listed, set off by headings, or set in a typeface different from that used for other types of information? When information that can be itemized or sequenced is conveyed, what form does the itemization or sequencing take?

• how does the writer communicate to readers the organization of the document as a whole and of the parts making up the whole?

• how does the writer make transitions from one subject to another? As noted earlier, a heading eliminates the need for awkward transitional sentences. In some cultures, however, the heading itself would be considered awkward—and possibly brusque, informal, or disrespectful.

Writing clear, informative Paragraphs

There are two kinds of paragraphs—body paragraphs and transitional paragraphs—both of which play an important role in helping you emphasize important information.

A body paragraph, the basic unit for communicating information, is a group of sentences (or sometimes a single sentence) that is complete and self- sufficient and that contributes to a larger discussion. In an effective para- graph, all the sentences clearly and directly articulate one main point, either by introducing the point or by providing support for it. In addition, the whole paragraph follows logically from the material that precedes it.

A transitional paragraph helps readers move from one major point to another. Like a body paragraph, it can consist of a group of sentences or be a single sentence. Usually it summarizes the previous point, introduces the next point, and helps readers understand how the two are related.

The following example of a transitional paragraph appeared in a discus- sion of how a company plans to use this year’s net proceeds.

our best estimate of how we will use these net proceeds, then, is to develop a second data center and increase our marketing efforts. We base this estimate on our current plans and on projections of anticipated expenditures. however, at this time we cannot precisely determine the exact cost of these activities. our actual expenditures may exceed what we’ve predicted, making it necessary or advisable to reallocate the net proceeds within the two uses (data center and marketing) or to use portions of the net proceeds for other purposes. The most likely uses appear to be reducing short-term debt and addressing salary inequities among software developers; each of these uses is discussed below, including their respective advantages and disadvantages.

sTruCTure ParagraPHs CLearLy

Most paragraphs consist of a topic sentence and supporting information.

The Topic sentence Because a topic sentence states, summarizes, or forecasts the main point of the paragraph, put it up front. Technical com- munication should be clear and easy to read, not suspenseful. If a paragraph describes a test you performed, include the result of the test in your first sentence:

The point-to-point continuity test on cabinet 3 revealed an intermittent open circuit in the phase 1 wiring.

Then go on to explain the details. If the paragraph describes a complicated idea, start with an overview. In other words, put the “bottom line” on top:

Mitosis is the usual method of cell division, occurring in four stages: (1) prophase, (2) metaphase, (3) anaphase, and (4) telophase.

Putting the bottom line on top makes the paragraph much easier to read, as shown in Figure 9.3.

Make sure each of your topic sentences relates clearly to the organiza- tional pattern you are using. In a discussion of the physical condition of a building, for example, you might use a spatial pattern and start a paragraph with the following topic sentence:

on the north side of Building B, water damage to about 75 percent of the roof insulation and insulation in some areas in the north wall indicates that the roof has been leaking for some time. The leaking has contributed to . . .

Your next paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that continues the spatial organizational pattern:

on the east side of the building, a downspout has eroded the lawn and has caused a small silt deposit to form on the neighboring property directly to the east. Riprap should be placed under the spout to . . .

Note that the phrases “on the north side” and “on the east side” signal that the discussion is following the points of the compass in a clockwise direction, further emphasizing the spatial pattern. Readers can reasonably assume that the next two parts of the discussion will be about the south side of the building and the west side, in that order.

Similarly, if your first topic sentence is “First, we need to . . . ,” your next topic sentence should refer to the chronological pattern: “Second, we should . . .” (Of course, sometimes well-written headings can make such references to the orga- nizational pattern unnecessary, as when headings are numbered to emphasize that the material is arranged in a chronological pattern.)

ETHiCS NOTE

avOIdIng BuryIng Bad neWs In ParagraPHs

The most-emphatic location in a paragraph is the topic sentence, usually the first sentence in a paragraph. The second-most-emphatic location is the end of the paragraph. do not bury bad news in the middle of the paragraph, hoping readers won’t see it. it would be misleading to structure a paragraph like this:

in our proposal, we stated that the project would be completed by May. in making this projection, we used the same algorithms that we have used successfully for more than 14 years. in this case, however, the projection was not realized, due to several factors beyond our control. . . . We have since completed the project satisfactorily and believe strongly that this missed deadline was an anomaly that is unlikely to be repeated. in fact, we have beaten every other deadline for projects this fiscal year.

A more forthright approach would be as follows:

We missed our May deadline for completing the project. Although we derived this sched- ule using the same algorithms that we have used successfully for more than 14 years, several factors, including especially bad weather at the site, delayed the construction. . . .

however, we have since completed the project satisfactorily and believe strongly that this missed deadline was an anomaly that is unlikely to be repeated. . . . in fact, we have beaten every other deadline for projects this fiscal year.

The supporting Information The supporting information makes the topic sentence clear and convincing. Sometimes a few explanatory details provide all the support you need. At other times, however, you need a lot of information to clarify a difficult thought or to defend a controversial idea. How much supporting information to provide also depends on your audience and purpose. Readers knowledgeable about your subject may require little supporting information; less-knowledgeable readers might require a lot. Likewise, you may need to provide little supporting information if your purpose is merely to state a controversial point of view rather than persuade your reader to agree with it. In deciding such matters, your best bet is to be gener- ous with your supporting information. Paragraphs with too little support are far more common than paragraphs with too much.

Supporting information, which is most often developed using the basic patterns of organization discussed in Chapter 7, usually fulfills one of these five roles:

• It defines a key term or idea included in the topic sentence.

• It provides examples or illustrations of the situation described in the topic sentence.

• It identifies causes: factors that led to the situation.

• It defines effects: implications of the situation.

• It supports the claim made in the topic sentence.

A topic sentence is like a promise to readers. At the very least, when you write a topic sentence that says “Within five years, the City of McCall will need to upgrade its wastewater-treatment facilities because of increased demands from a rapidly rising population,” you are implicitly promising read- ers that the paragraph not only will be about wastewater-treatment facili- ties but also will explain that the rapidly rising population is the reason the facilities need to be upgraded. If your paragraph fails to discuss these things, it has failed to deliver on the promise you made. If the paragraph discusses these things but also goes on to speculate about the price of concrete over the next five years, it is delivering on promises that the topic sentence never made. In both situations, the paragraph has gone astray.

Paragraph Length How long should a paragraph be? In general, 75 to 125 words are enough for a topic sentence and four or five supporting sentences. Long paragraphs are more difficult to read than short paragraphs because they require more focused concentration. They can also intimidate some readers, who might skip over them.

But don’t let arbitrary guidelines about length take precedence over your own analysis of the audience and purpose. You might need only one or two sentences to introduce a graphic, for example. Transitional paragraphs are also likely to be quite short. If a brief paragraph fulfills its function, let it be. Do not combine two ideas in one paragraph simply to achieve a minimum word count.

You may need to break up your discussion of one idea into two or more paragraphs. An idea that requires 200 or 300 words to develop should prob- ably not be squeezed into one paragraph.

A note about one-sentence paragraphs: body paragraphs and transitional paragraphs alike can consist of a single sentence. However, many single- sentence paragraphs are likely to need revision. Sometimes the idea in that sentence belongs with the paragraph immediately before it or immediately after it or in another paragraph elsewhere in the document. Sometimes the idea needs to be developed into a paragraph of its own. And sometimes the idea doesn’t belong in the document at all.

When you think about paragraph length, consider how the information will be printed or displayed. If the information will be presented in a narrow column, such as in a newsletter, short paragraphs are much easier to read. If the information will be presented in a wider column, readers will be able to handle a longer paragraph.

Dividing Long Paragraphs

here are three techniques for dividing long paragraphs.

Break the discussion at a logical place. The most logical place to divide this ma- terial is at the introduction of the second factor. Because the paragraphs are still relatively long and cues are minimal, this strategy should be reserved for skilled readers.

high-tech companies have been moving their operations to the suburbs for two main reasons: cheaper, more modern space and a better labor pool. A new office complex in the suburbs will charge from one-half to two-thirds of the rent charged for the same square footage in the city. And that money goes a lot further, too. The new office complexes are bright and airy; new office space is already wired for computers; and exercise clubs, shopping centers, and even libraries are often on-site.

The second major factor attracting high-tech companies to the suburbs is the availability of experienced labor. office workers and middle managers are abundant. in addition, the engineers and executives, who tend to live in the suburbs anyway, are happy to forgo the commuting, the city wage taxes, and the noise and stress of city life.

Make the topic sentence a separate paragraph and break up the supporting information. This version is easier to understand than the one above because the brief paragraph at the start clearly introduces the information. in addition, each of the two main paragraphs now has a clear topic sentence.

high-tech companies have been moving their operations to the suburbs for two main reasons: cheaper, more modern space and a better labor pool. First, office space is a bargain in the suburbs. A new office complex in

the suburbs will charge from one-half to two-thirds of the rent charged for the same square footage in the city. And that money goes a lot further, too. The new office complexes are bright and airy; new office space is al- ready wired for computers; and exercise clubs, shopping centers, and even libraries are often on-site.

Second, experienced labor is plentiful. office workers and middle manag- ers are abundant. in addition, the engineers and executives, who tend to live in the suburbs anyway, are happy to forgo the commuting, the city wage taxes, and the noise and stress of city life.

use a list. This is the easiest of the three versions for all readers because of the extra visual cues provided by the list format.

high-tech companies have been moving their operations to the suburbs for two main reasons:

• Cheaper, more modern space. office space is a bargain in the suburbs. A new office complex in the suburbs will charge anywhere from one-half to two-thirds of the rent charged for the same square footage in the city. And that money goes a lot further, too. The new office complexes are bright and airy; new office space is already wired for computers; and exercise clubs, shopping centers, and even libraries are often on-site.

• A better labor pool. office workers and middle managers are abundant. in addition, the engineers and executives, who tend to live in the suburbs anyway, are happy to forgo the commuting, the city wage taxes, and the noise and stress of city life.

use COHerenCe devICes WITHIn and BeTWeen ParagraPHs For the main idea in the topic sentence to be clear and memorable, you need to make the support—the rest of the paragraph—coherent. That is, you must link the ideas together clearly and logically, and you must express parallel ideas in parallel grammatical constructions. Even if the paragraph already moves smoothly from sentence to sentence, you can strengthen the coher- ence by adding transitional words and phrases, repeating key words, and using demonstrative pronouns followed by nouns.

adding Transitional Words and Phrases Transitional words and phrases help the reader understand a discussion by explicitly stating the logical relationship between two ideas. Table 9.1 lists the most common logi- cal relationships between two ideas and some of the common transitions that express those relationships.

Transitional words and phrases benefit both readers and writers. When a transitional word or phrase explicitly states the logical relationship between two ideas, readers don’t have to guess at what that relationship might be. Using transitional words and phrases in your writing forces you to think more deeply about the logical relationships between ideas than you might otherwise.

To better understand how transitional words and phrases benefit both reader and writer, consider the following pairs of examples:

weak demand for flash-memory chips is down by 15 percent. We have laid off 12 production-line workers.

improved demand for flash-memory chips is down by 15 percent; as a result, we have laid off 12 production-line workers.

weak The project was originally expected to cost $300,000. The final cost was $450,000.

improved The project was originally expected to cost $300,000. However, the final cost was $450,000.

The next sentence pair differs from the others in that the weak example does contain a transitional word, but it’s a weak transitional word:

weak According to the report from human Resources, the employee spoke rudely to a group of customers waiting to enter the store, and he repeatedly ignored requests from co-workers to unlock the door so the customers could enter.

improved According to the report from human Resources, the employee spoke rudely to a group of customers waiting to enter the store; moreover, he repeatedly ignored requests from co-workers to unlock the door so the customers could enter.

In the weak version, and implies simple addition: the employee did this, and then he did that. The improved version is stronger, adding to simple addition the idea that refusing to unlock the door compounded the employ- ee’s rude behavior, elevating it to something more serious. By using moreover, the writer is saying that speaking rudely to customers was bad enough, but the employee really crossed the line when he refused to open the door.

Whichever transitional word or phrase you use, place it as close as possi- ble to the beginning of the second idea. As shown in the examples above, the link between two ideas should be near the start of the second idea, to provide context for it. Consider the following example:

The vendor assured us that the replacement parts would be delivered in time for the product release. The parts were delivered nearly two weeks after the product release, however.

The idea of Sentence 2 stands in contrast to the idea of Sentence 1, but the reader doesn’t see the transition until the end of Sentence 2. Put the transi- tion at the start of the second idea, where it will do the most good.

You should also use transitional words to maintain coherence between paragraphs, just as you use them to maintain coherence within paragraphs. The link between two paragraphs should be near the start of the second paragraph.

repeating key Words Repeating key words—usually nouns—helps read- ers follow the discussion. In the following example, the first version could be confusing:

unclear

clear

For months the project leaders carefully planned their research. The cost of the work was estimated to be over $200,000.

What is the work: the planning or the research? For months the project leaders carefully planned their research. The cost of

the research was estimated to be over $200,000.

From a misguided desire to be interesting, some writers keep changing their important terms. Plankton becomes miniature seaweed, then the ocean’s fast food. Avoid this kind of word game; it can confuse readers.

Of course, too much repetition can be boring. You can vary nonessential terms as long as you don’t sacrifice clarity.

sluggish

better

The purpose of the new plan is to reduce the problems we are seeing in our accounting operations. We hope to see a reduction in the problems by early next quarter.

The purpose of the new plan is to reduce the problems we are seeing in our accounting operations. We hope to see an improvement by early next quarter.

using demonstrative Pronouns Followed by nouns Demonstrative pronouns—this, that, these, and those—can help you maintain the coherence of a discussion by linking ideas securely. In almost all cases, demonstra- tive pronouns should be followed by nouns, rather than stand alone in the sentence. In the following examples, notice that a demonstrative pronoun by itself can be vague and confusing.

unclear

clear

unclear

clear

new screening techniques are being developed to combat viral infections. These are the subject of a new research effort in california.

What is being studied in California: new screening techniques or viral infections?

new screening techniques are being developed to combat viral infections. These techniques are the subject of a new research effort in california.

The task force could not complete its study of the mine accident. This was the subject of a scathing editorial in the union newsletter.

What was the subject of the editorial: the mine accident or the task force’s inability to complete its study of the accident?

The task force failed to complete its study of the mine accident. This failure was the subject of a scathing editorial in the union newsletter.

Even when the context is clear, a demonstrative pronoun used without a noun might interrupt readers’ progress by forcing them to refer back to an earlier idea.

interruptive The law firm advised that the company initiate proceedings. This caused the company to search for a second legal opinion.

fluid The law firm advised that the company initiate proceedings. This advice caused the company to search for a second legal opinion.

WRiTER’S CHECKLiST

Did you revise the title of your document so that it clearly states the subject and purpose of your

document? (p. 193)

is precise and informative? (p. 193)

Did you revise the headings to

avoid long noun strings? (p. 197)

be informative? (p. 198)

use the question form for readers who are not knowledgeable about the subject? (p. 198)

use the “how-to” form in instructional materials? (p. 198)

use the gerund form (-ing) for the discussion of a process? (p. 198)

Applied Sciences

Architecture and Design

Biology

Business & Finance

Chemistry

Computer Science

Geography

Geology

Education

Engineering

English

Environmental science

Spanish

Government

History

Human Resource Management

Information Systems

Law

Literature

Mathematics

Nursing

Physics

Political Science

Psychology

Reading

Science

Social Science

Home

Blog

Archive

Contact

google+twitterfacebook

Copyright © 2019 HomeworkMarket.com