Which revision most effectively corrects the underlined sentence fragment

Writing With sources

r researching R1 Thinking like a researcher;

gathering sources R2 Managing information;

taking notes responsibly R3 Evaluating sources

MLA Papers MLA-1 Supporting a thesis MLA-2 Citing sources;

avoiding plagiarism MLA-3 Integrating sources MLA-4 Documenting sources MLA-5 Manuscript format;

sample research paper

APA and cMs Papers (Coverage parallels MLA’s)

APA-1 APA-2 APA-3 APA-4 APA-5

CMS-1 CMS-2 CMS-3 CMS-4 CMS-5

i index Multilingual menu Revision symbols Detailed menu

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref How to use this book

Writing correctLy

g grammatical sentences G1 Subject-verb agreement G2 Verb forms, tenses, and moods G3 Pronouns G4 Adjectives and adverbs G5 Sentence fragments G6 Run-on sentences

M Multilingual Writers and esL challenges

M1 Verbs M2 Articles M3 Sentence structure M4 Using adjectives M5 Prepositions and idiomatic

expressions M6 Paraphrasing sources effectively

P Punctuation and Mechanics

P1 The comma P2 Unnecessary commas P3 The semicolon and the colon P4 The apostrophe P5 Quotation marks P6 Other punctuation marks P7 Spelling and hyphenation P8 Capitalization P9 Abbreviations and numbers P10 Italics

B Basic grammar B1 Parts of speech B2 Sentence patterns B3 Subordinate word groups B4 Sentence types

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A Reference

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Diana Hacker

Nancy Sommers Harvard University

contributing esL specialist

Kimberli Huster Robert Morris University

A Reference

EiGHtH EDitioN

BEDfoRD/St. MARtiN’S Boston ◆ New York

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For Bedford/St. Martin’s

Vice President, Editorial, Macmillan Higher Education Humanities: Edwin Hill Editorial Director, English and Music: Karen S. Henry Publisher for Composition: Leasa Burton Executive Editor: Michelle M. Clark Senior Editors: Barbara G. Flanagan and Mara Weible Associate Editors: Kylie Paul and Alicia Young Editorial Assistants: Amanda Legee and Stephanie Thomas Senior Production Editor: Rosemary R. Jaffe Production Manager: Joe Ford Marketing Manager: Emily Rowin Copy Editor: Linda McLatchie Indexer: Ellen Kuhl Repetto Photo Researcher: Sheri Blaney Senior Art Director: Anna Palchik Text Design: Claire Seng-Niemoeller Cover Design: Donna Lee Dennison Composition: Cenveo Publisher Services Printing and Binding: RR Donnelley and Sons

Copyright © 2015, 2011, 2007, 2003 by Bedford/St. Martin’s

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, except as may be expressly permitted by the applicable copyright statutes or in writing by the Publisher.

Manufactured in the United States of America.

9 8 7 6 5 4 f e d c b a

For information, write: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 75 Arlington Street, Boston, MA 02116 (617-399-4000)

ISBN 978-1-4576-6676-6 (Student Edition)

ISBN 978-1-4576-8625-2 (Instructor’s Edition)

acknowledgments

Text acknowledgments and copyrights appear below. Art acknowledgments and copyrights appear on the same page as the selections they cover; these acknowledgments and copyrights constitute an extension of the copyright page. It is a violation of the law to reproduce these selections by any means whatsoever without the written permission of the copyright holder.

Stephen J. Gould, excerpt from “Were Dinosaurs Dumb?” from Natural History, 87(5): 9–16. Reprinted by permission of Rhonda R. Shearer.

Dorling Kindersly, excerpt from “Encyclopedia of Fishing.” Copyright © Dorling Kindersley Limited, 1994. Reprinted by permission of Penguin Group, Ltd.

Anne and Jack Rudloe, excerpt from “Electric Warfare: The Fish That Kills with Thunderbolts,” from Smithsonian 24(5): 95–105. Reprinted by permission.

Betsy Taylor, “Big Box Stores Are Bad for Main Street,” from CQ Researcher, (November 1999). Copyright © 1999 by CQ Press, a division of Sage Publications. Reprinted with permission.

Gary Wills, excerpt from “Two Speeches on Race,” originally published in the New York Review of Books. Copyright © 2008 by Gary Wills, used by permission of The Wiley Agency, LLC.

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vii

Preface for instructors

Dear Colleagues: As college teachers, we have a far-reaching mission. We prepare

students to write for different purposes, for different audiences, and in different genres and media. We show students how to read critically and write effectively, preparing them to join ongoing research conversations as contributors (not just as consumers) of ideas. What we teach is at the very core of students’ college experience. For academic success, no skill is more critical than effective writing.

This new edition of A Writer’s Reference grows out of my thirty years as a writing teacher and from many conversations with college faculty across disciplines. In all these conversations, I hear a similar theme: Writing is the core of a student’s success, no matter the field of study. Teachers speak about ambitious assignments to teach students how to think and write clearly and precisely, how to interpret evidence and data, and how to enter research conversations with the requisite skills to manage information and avoid plagiarism. And faculty across disciplines all speak about the need for their students to have a reliable handbook to help them understand the expectations of college writing assignments and succeed as writers.

I wanted the eighth edition to capture the energy and creativity that surround conversations about student writing, wherever they take place, and to provide students with a trusted reference that sup- ports their development as writers. I also wanted the eighth edition to align easily with course goals and program outcomes, so I spent a good deal of time reviewing such documents and talking with faculty about how A Writer’s Reference can help them meet their goals. We all have high expectations for the writers in our courses; assigning a handbook designed specifically to meet these expectations makes possible both our mission and our students’ success.

Paging through A Writer’s Reference, you’ll discover features inspired by my conversations with teachers and students. One such feature is an emphasis on the relationship between reading and writing. Turn to tabbed section A (p. 69) to see new material that helps students read critically and write insightfully, engage with print and multimodal texts, and move beyond summary to analysis. The eighth edition shows students how to read carefully to understand an author’s ideas, how to read skeptically to question those ideas, and how to present their own ideas in response.

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viii Preface for instructors

In developing the eighth edition, I wanted students to have even more tools to support the challenges they face as research writers: turn- ing topics into questions, finding entry points in debates, and evalu- ating, integrating, and citing sources. In particular, I wanted to help students who are assigned to write an annotated bibliography, a core academic genre. In the eighth edition, students will find five new writ- ing guides, helpful tools that offer step-by-step instruction for complet- ing common college writing assignments, including writing an anno- tated bibliography.

A goal of the eighth edition was to develop a handbook that saves teachers’ time and increases students’ learning. I’m happy to say that teaching with A Writer’s Reference has become easier than ever. The eighth edition is now available with LaunchPad — a system that includes both a print handbook and e-Pages. For the e-Pages, I’ve writ- ten prompts and collaborative activities called “As you write” to help students apply handbook advice to their own drafts and to offer prac- tice with thesis statements, research questions, peer review, and more. The e-Pages also include videos and LearningCurve, game-like adap- tive quizzing — all easily assignable. Turn to page xi for more about the media.

As college teachers, we help our students develop as thinkers and writers. I can’t imagine work more important than this. Some years ago, a student told me that her first-year writing course encouraged her to become a person with things to say. I love these words and the hope they express that a writing course may have such a sustaining influence on one student’s life. I bring certain beliefs to A Writer’s Reference: that all students will learn to read deeply and write clearly, that they will find in their reading ideas they care about, and that they will write about these ideas with care and depth.

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ixPreface for instructors

What’s new in this edition?

An emphasis on critical reading. Substantially revised material in tabbed section A, “ Academic reading, writing, and speaking,” empha- sizes reading as the foundation of every college research and writing assignment. The handbook offers students a reading process, teaching them to read traditional and multimodal texts, research sources, their own work, and the work of their peers critically and reflectively.

7574 Reading and writing criticallyA1-b A1-boutlining a written text

Here is an excerpt from student writer Emilia Sanchez’s double- entry notebook.

noTe: To create a digital double-entry notebook, you can use a table or text boxes in a word processing program.

Ideas from the text My responses

“The question, however, is not whether or not these types of stores create jobs (although several studies claim they produce a net job loss in local communities) or whether they ultimately save consumers money” (1011).

Why are big-box stores bad if they create jobs or save people money? Taylor dismisses these possibilities without acknowledging their importance. My family needs to save money and needs jobs more than “chatting with the shopkeeper” (1011).

“The real concern . . . is whether [big-box stores are] good for a community’s soul” (1011).

“[S]mall businesses are great for a community” (1011).

Taylor is missing something here. Are all big-box stores bad? Are all small businesses great? Would getting rid of big-box stores save the “soul” of America? Is Main Street the “soul” of America? Taylor sounds overly sentimental. She assumes that people spend more money because they shop at big-box stores. And she assumes that small businesses are always better for consumers.

previewing a written text

■ Who is the author? What are the author’s credentials? ■ What is the author’s purpose: To inform? To persuade? To call to action? ■ Who is the expected audience? ■ When was the text written? Where was it published? ■ What kind of text is it: A book? A report? A scholarly article? A

policy memo?

Annotating a written text

■ What surprises, puzzles, or intrigues you about the text? ■ What question does the text attempt to answer? ■ What is the author’s thesis, or central claim? ■ What type of evidence does the author provide to support the

thesis? How persuasive is this evidence?

conversing with a written text

■ What are the strengths and limitations of the text? ■ Has the author drawn conclusions that you question? Do you have a

different interpretation of the evidence? ■ Does the text raise questions that it does not answer? ■ Does the author consider opposing viewpoints and treat them fairly?

Asking the “so what?” question

■ Why does the author’s thesis need to be argued, explained, or explored? What’s at stake?

■ What has the author overlooked in presenting this thesis?

guidelines for active reading

Asking the “So what?” question

As you read and annotate a text, make sure you understand its thesis, or central idea. Ask yourself: “What is the author’s thesis?” Then put the author’s thesis to the “So what?” test: “Why does this thesis matter? Why does it need to be argued?” Perhaps you’ll conclude that the thesis is too obvious and doesn’t matter at all — or that it matters so much that you feel the author stopped short and overlooked key details. Or perhaps you’ll feel that a reasonable person might draw different con- clusions about the issue.

A1-b outline a text to identify main ideas. You are probably familiar with using an outline as a planning tool to help you organize your ideas. An outline is a useful tool for reading, too. Outlining a text — identifying its main idea and major parts — can be an important step in your reading process.

As you outline, look closely for a text’s thesis statement (main idea) and topic sentences because they serve as important signposts for read- ers. A thesis statement often appears in the introduction, usually in the first or second paragraph. Topic sentences can be found at the begin- nings of most body paragraphs, where they announce a shift to a new topic. (See C2-a and C5-a.)

■ In the first sentence, mention the title of the text, the name of the author, and the author’s thesis.

■ Maintain a neutral tone; be objective. ■ As you present the author’s ideas, use the third-person point of view

and the present tense: Taylor argues. . . . (If you are writing in APA style, see APA-3b.)

■ Keep your focus on the text. Don’t state the author’s ideas as if they were your own.

■ Put all or most of your summary in your own words; if you borrow a phrase or a sentence from the text, put it in quotation marks and give the page number in parentheses.

■ Limit yourself to presenting the text’s key points. ■ Be concise; make every word count.

guidelines for writing a summary

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2nd Pages

Help with analyzing multimodal texts and composing in new genres. A new chapter about reading and writing about multimodal texts introduces new genres and practical strategies for analyzing these genres. Throughout the book, writing guides give tips for composing college assignments as podcasts, presentations, Web sites, and other alterna- tives to the traditional essay. New discussions of genre and sample papers in new genres (literacy narrative and reflective letter) align

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x Preface for instructors

the book more closely with the goals of writing programs and the 2014 Council of Writing Program Administrators (WPA) outcomes.

Paraphrasing sources: strategies for multilingual/ESL writers. New content includes advice about paraphrasing sources effectively. This new section moves students away from the practice of word-by-word substitution and offers strategies for understanding and presenting another writ- er’s meaning.

Practical writing guides. Five new writing guides help students compose common assignments: argument essays, analytical essays, annotated bibliographies, reflective cover letters, and literacy narratives. The guides clarify the expectations of the genre; provide a step-by-step path as students explore, draft, and revise; and lay a foundation for writing in multiple disciplines.

Draft ● Draft a working thesis to focus your analysis. Remember that your

thesis is not the same as the author’s thesis. Your thesis presents your judgment of the text.

● Draft a plan to organize your paragraphs. Your introductory paragraph will briefly summarize the text and offer your thesis. Your body paragraphs will support your thesis with evidence from the text. Your conclusion will pull together the major points and show the significance of your analysis. (See C1-d.)

● Identify specific words, phrases, and sentences as evidence to support your thesis.

revise

Ask your reviewers to give you specific comments. You can use the following questions to guide their feedback.

● Is the introduction effective and engaging? ● Is summary balanced with analysis? ● Does the thesis offer a clear judgment of the text? ● What objections might other writers pose to your analysis? ● Is the analysis well organized? Are there clear topic sentences

and transitions? ● Is there sufficient evidence? Is the evidence analyzed? ● Have you cited words, phrases, or sentences that are summarized

or quoted?

85

A2 Reading and writing about images and multimodal texts

In many of your college classes, you’ll have the opportunity to read and write about images, such as photographs or paintings, as well as multi- modal texts, such as advertisements, maps, videos, or Web sites. Multi- modal texts combine one or more of the following modes: words, static images, moving images, and sound.

A2-a read actively. Any image or multimodal text can be read — that is, carefully approached and examined to understand what it says and how it communicates its purpose and reaches its audience. When you read a multimodal text, you are often reading more than words; you might also be reading a

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Writing guide | Analytical essay

An analysis of a text allows you to examine the parts of a text to understand what it means and how it makes its meaning. Your goal is to offer your judgment of the text and to persuade readers to see it through your analytical perspective. A sample analytical essay begins on page 80.

Key features ● A careful and critical reading of a text reveals what the text says, how

it works, and what it means. In an analytical essay, you pay attention to the details of the text, especially its thesis and evidence.

● A thesis that offers a clear judgment of a text anchors your analysis. Your thesis might be the answer to a question you have posed about a text or the resolution of a problem you have identified in the text.

● Support for the thesis comes from evidence in the text. You summarize, paraphrase, and quote passages that support the claims you make about the text.

● A balance of summary and analysis helps readers who may not be familiar with the text you are analyzing. Summary answers the question of what a text says; an analysis looks at how a text makes its point.

Thinking ahead: Presenting and publishing You may have the opportunity to present or publish your analysis in the form of a multimodal text such as a slide show presentation. Consider how adding images or sound might strengthen your analysis or help you to better reach your audience. (See section A2.)

Writing your analytical essay

ExplorE

Generate ideas for your analysis by brainstorming responses to questions such as the following:

● What is the text about?

● What do you find most interesting, surprising, or puzzling about this text?

● What is the author’s thesis or central idea? Put the author’s thesis to the “So what?” test. (See p. 74.)

● What do your annotations of the text reveal about your response to it?

82

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xiPreface for instructors

Research and documentation advice fit for any college course. Substan- tially revised sections teach researchers to find an entry point in a debate and develop authority as a researcher. New advice on writing a research proposal gives practical help that’s useful across the curricu- lum. And because some sources are difficult to cite, new how-to boxes address author ship and new types of sources such as course materials and reposted Web content.

369368 R2-akeeping a working bibliographyThinking like a researcher; gathering sourcesR1-f

Surveying opinion

For some topics, you may find it useful to survey opinions through writ- ten questionnaires, telephone or e-mail polls, or questions posted on a social media site. Many people are reluctant to fill out long question- naires, so for a good response rate, limit your questions with your pur- pose in mind.

When possible, ask yes/no questions or give multiple-choice options. Surveys with such queries can be completed quickly, and the results are easy to tally. You may also want to ask a few open-ended questions to elicit more individual responses, some of which may be worth quoting in your paper.

Other field methods

Your firsthand visits to and observations of significant places, people, or events can enhance a paper in a variety of disciplines. If you aren’t able to visit an organization, a company, or a historic site, you may find use- ful information on an official Web site or a phone number or an e-mail address to use to contact a representative.

R1-f Write a research proposal. One effective way to manage your research project and focus your thinking is to write a research proposal. A proposal gives you an oppor- tunity to look back — to remind you why you decided to enter a specific research conversation — and to look forward — to predict any difficulties or obstacles that might arise during your project. Your objective is to make a case for the question you plan to explore, the sources you plan to use, and the feasibility of the project, given the time and resources available. As you take stock of your project, you also have the valuable opportunity to receive comments from your instructor and classmates about your proposed research question and search strategy.

The following format will help you organize your proposal.

• Research question. What question will you be exploring? Why does this question need to be asked? What do you hope to learn from the project?

• Research conversation. What have you learned so far about the debate or the specific research conversation you will enter? What entry point have you found to offer your own insights and ideas?

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref R1 Thinking like a researcher > As you write: Writing a research proposal

• Search strategy. What kinds of sources will you use to explore your question? What sources have you found most useful, and why? How will you locate a variety of sources (print and visual, primary and secondary, for example)?

• Questions you are asking. What challenges, if any, do you anticipate? What questions are you asking about the project that readers of your proposal might help you answer?

R2 Managing information; taking notes responsibly

An effective researcher is a good record keeper. Whether you decide to keep records in your research log or in a file on your computer, you will need methods for managing information: maintaining a working bibli- ography (see R2-a), keeping track of source materials (see R2-b), and taking notes without plagiarizing your sources (see R2-c). (For more on avoiding plagiarism, see MLA-2 for MLA style, APA-2 for APA style, and CMS-2 for CMS style.)

R2-a Maintain a working bibliography. Keep a record of each source you read or view. This record, called a working bibliography, will help you compile the list of sources that will appear at the end of your paper. The format of this list depends on the documentation style you are using (for MLA style, see MLA-4; for APA style, see APA-4; for CMS style, see CMS-4). Using the proper style in your working bibliography will ensure that you have all the information you need to correctly cite any sources you use. (See R3-e for advice on using your working bibliography as the basis for an anno- tated bibliography.)

Most researchers save bibliographic information from the library’s catalog and databases and the Web. The information you need to collect is given in the chart on page 370. If you download a visual, you must gather the same information as for a print source.

For Web sources, some bibliographic information may not be avail- able, but spend time looking for it before assuming that it doesn’t exist. When information isn’t available on the home page, you may have to follow links to interior pages. (See also pp. 366 and 383 for more details about finding bibliographic information in online sources.)

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref R2 Managing information > Finding research help: Choosing a

documentation style

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2nd Pages

New guidelines for speaking effectively. A new section, A5, prepares students to remix, or adapt, their writing for delivery to a live audience, with emphasis on writing for the ear instead of for the eye.

Engaging new media: LaunchPad. A Writer’s Reference is now available with LaunchPad, which includes a full e-Book that’s easy to assign — as well as interactive e-Pages. The e-Pages, online at hackerhandbooks .com/writersref, engage students with writing prompts, scorable practice exercises, additional sample papers, and LearningCurve’s game-like adaptive quizzes. Easy-to-spot cross-references on the print pages direct students to the e-Pages content in LaunchPad.

• 270 practice exercises help students build skills and strengthen their editing. The exercises report to a gradebook so you can keep track of progress if you choose.

265264 Sentence fragmentsG5-d

Examples introduced by for example, in addition, or similar expressions

Other expressions that introduce examples or explanations can lead to unintentional fragments. Although you may begin a sentence with some of the following words or phrases, make sure that what follows has a subject and a verb.

also for example mainly and for instance or but in addition that is

Often the easiest solution is to turn the fragment into a sentence.

▶ In his memoir, Primo Levi describes the horrors of living in a

^

he worked concentration camp. For example, working without food and

^

su�ered suffering emotional abuse.

The writer corrected this fragment by adding a subject — he — and substituting verbs for the verbals working and suffering.

G5-d Exception: A f Writers occasionally use sentence fragments for special purposes.

FOR EMPHASIS Following the dramatic Americanization of their children, even my parents grew more publicly

Especially my mother. — Richard Rodriguez

TO ANSWER Are these new drug tests 100 percent A QUESTION reliable? Not in the opinion of most experts.

TRANSITIONS And now the opposing arguments.

EXCLAMATIONS Not again!

IN ADVERTISING Fewer carbs. Improved taste.

Although fragments are sometimes appropriate, writers and readers do not always agree on when they are appropriate. That’s why you will

G5-dAcceptable fragments

Repair any fragment by attaching it to a nearby sentence or by rewriting it as a complete sentence. If a word group is correct, write “correct” after it. Possible revisions appear in the back of the book. More practice:

a One Greek island that should not be missed is Mykonos/. , /A vacation

spot for Europeans and a playground for the rich and famous.

a. Listening to the CD her sister had sent, Mia was overcome with a mix of emotions. Happiness, homesickness, and nostalgia.

b. Cortés and his soldiers were astonished when they looked down from the

c. Although my spoken Spanish is not very good. I can read the language with ease.

d. There are several reasons for not eating meat. One reason being that danger- ous chemicals are used throughout the various stages of meat production.

e. To learn how to sculpt beauty from everyday life. This is my intention in studying art and archaeology.

EXERCISE Repair each fragment in the following passage by attaching it to a sentence nearby or by rewriting it as a complete sentence. More practice:

Digital technology has revolutionized information delivery. Forever blurring the lines between information and entertainment. Yesterday’s readers of books and newspapers are today’s readers of e-books and blogs. Countless readers have moved on from print information entirely. Choosing instead to point, click, and scroll their way through a text online or on an e-reader. Once a nation of people spoon-fed television commercials and the six o’clock evening news. We are now seemingly addicted to YouTube and social media. Remember the family trip when Dad or Mom wrestled with a road map? On the way to St. Louis or Seattle? No wrestling is required with a GPS device. Unless it’s Mom and Dad wrestling over who gets to program the address. Accessing information now seems to be America’s favorite pastime. John Horrigan, associate director for research at the Pew Internet and American Life Project, reports that nearly half of American adults are “elite” users of technology. Who are “highly engaged” with digital content. As a country, we embrace information and communication technologies. Which now include iPods, smartphones, and tablets. Among children and adolescents, social media and other technology use are well established. For activities like socializing, gaming, and information gathering.

^

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref G5 Sentence fragments > Exercises: G5–3 to G5–7 G5 Sentence fragments > LearningCurve: Sentence fragments

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xii Preface for instructors

• 36 “As you write” prompts encourage students to apply the lessons of the handbook to their own writing. Students complete brief writing assignments about organizing a paper, drafting thesis statements, working with peers, integrating sources, and other writing topics.

• LearningCurve, game-like online quizzing for 29 topics, builds confidence with sentence-level skills by adapting to students’ responses and adjusting the difficulty level of the quiz items.

• Easy access. If you choose to package LaunchPad with the handbook, students simply use the activation code on the access card when they log in for the first time at hackerhandbooks.com /writersref.

What hasn’t changed?

• The handbook speaks to everything student writers need. Even the most popular search engines can’t give students the confidence that comes with a coherent, authoritative reference that covers the topics they need in a writing course. A Writer’s Reference supports students as they compose for different purposes and audiences and in a variety of genres and as they collaborate, revise, conduct research, document sources, format their writing, and edit for clarity.

• The handbook is easy to use and easy to understand. The explana- tions in A Writer’s Reference are brief, accessible, and illustrated by examples, most by student writers. The book’s many charts, checklists, tabs, menus, and directories are designed to help users find what they need quickly. And the user-friendly index includes both expert (coherence, ellipsis) and nonexpert (flow, dots) terminology.

• The handbook is coherent, authoritative, and trustworthy. Writing- related resources on the Web offer information, but they don’t offer instruction. With the eighth edition of A Writer’s Reference, students have reference content that has been class-tested by literally millions of students and instructors.

Supplements and media

Visit the catalog page for A Writer’s Reference for a complete list of instructor supplements, including Teaching with Hacker Handbooks, student supplements, videos, e-books (various formats), and other media: macmillanhighered.com/writersref/catalog.

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xiiiPreface for instructors

Custom solutions

Many schools opt for a custom edition of A Writer’s Reference. Some programs choose to add a section about course outcomes and policies; others choose to customize by adding student writing from the school; still others decide simply to change the cover to reflect a recognizable campus location and the school name. More and more programs are creating custom editions by including publisher-supplied content — add itional tabbed sections on writing about literature, writing in the dis- ciplines, multimodal writing, ESL support, and support for online learn- ers. To discuss custom options for your school, contact your sales repre- sentative or visit macmillanhighered.com/catalog/other/Custom_Solutions.

Diana Hacker Nancy Sommers

The Writing Help Center, a service of the College Writing Program in association with the Information Commons, is located on the first floor of Butler Library, inside Creativity Commons, Room 157B.

This service is not just for CWP courses! Writing Help Center tutors are available to help students with essays, applications, scholarships, and papers from all other courses. All are welcome!

The Writing Help Center’s services are open to the entire campus community. The Center also provides ESL and TESOL services for speakers of other languages.

Services are free and available on a walk-in basis—no appointment necessary!

For service hours, go to ic.buffalostate.edu/writing.html.

For assistance or further information, call the CWP office at (716) 878-5451.

Custom Publishing

bedfordstmartins.com

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III

III

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A Writer’s Reference with Understanding and Composing Multimodal Projects

and Writing in the Disciplines

SEVENTH EDITION

2013 UPDATE

A Writer’s Reference is the most widely adopted college handbook ever published, so you know you can count on it for advice that’s relevant, easy to find, and easy to understand. Millions of students and instructors across the country endorse A Writer’s Reference because it has the comprehensive coverage, concrete examples, and trusted models students need for writing, grammar, and research in composition courses and beyond.

“A Writer’s Reference is the best reference book ever! I am amazed at the amount of information in it. I especially like the format and the concise explanations within each category. It is my ‘go to’ book.” — A. Furukawa, former student

“I used A Writer’s Reference as an undergraduate student many years ago, and this text, more than any other I have reviewed or used, maintains what works and improves in all the ways it must. The classic changes with the times.” — Shant Shahoian, Glendale Community College

“As I point out to my students, this reference book models the kind of writing I want to see from them — it is clear, succinct, purposeful, and supported by examples.” — Michelle Adkerson, Nashville State Community College

“My students feel encouraged (even proud) to identify and answer their own questions about citations. One of the greatest strengths of A Writer’s Reference is its ability to boost student confidence.” — Jamison Klagmann, University of Alaska Fairbanks

“The menus and indexes throughout the handbook make it an efficient tool for students. It's easy to direct them to specific points in A Writer’s Reference during class discussion.” — Cliff Toliver, Missouri Southern State University

Get more online — for free. The free companion Web site offers even more writing help: 1,800 writing, grammar, and research exercise items with feed- back; 30 model student papers; exercises and model papers for multilingual writers; and writing center resources. Go to hackerhandbooks.com/writersref.

A Writer’s Reference

SEVENTH EdITION

diana Hacker Nancy Sommers

2014 UpdATE

Get more online — for free. The free companion Web site offers even more writing help: 1,800 writing, grammar, and research exercise items with feed- back; 30 model student papers; exercises and model papers for multilingual writers; and writing center resources. Go to hackerhandbooks.com/writersref.

Bedford/St. Martin’s Custom Publishing bedfordstmartins.com

SEVENTH EdiTioN

with Exercises and Writing in the Disciplines

diana Hacker • Nancy Sommers

Montgomery County Community College Edition

A Writer’s Reference

Sample custom editions of the handbook

00_HAC_6676_FM_i-xviii.indd 13 18/07/14 5:14 pm

http://www.macmillanhighered.com/catalog/other/Custom_Solutions
xiv Preface for instructors

Acknowledgments

I am grateful, as always, for the expertise, enthusiasm, and classroom experience that so many individuals — our very own handbook commu- nity — brought to the eighth edition.

Reviewers

For their participation in a focus group at the 2014 Conference on Col- lege Composition and Communication, I would like to thank Holly Bauer, University of California, San Diego; Jason DePolo, North Caro- lina Agricultural and Technical State University; Violet Dutcher, East- ern Mennonite University; Michael Keller, South Dakota State Univer- sity; and Katherine Tirabassi, Keene State College.

I thank those instructors who offered detailed feedback on vari- ous parts of the handbook and its supplements: Marcia Allen, Univer- sity of Maryland University College; Clinton Atchley, Henderson State University; Phyllis Benay, Keene State College; Wendy Brooks, Palm Beach State College; Elizabeth Browning, Virginia Western Commu- nity College; Barbara Butler, Bellevue College; Juan Calle, Broward College; Sybil Canon, Northwest Mississippi Community College; Margaret Cassidy, Adelphi University; Michele Cheung, University of Southern Maine; Vicky Chiu-Irion, University of Hawaii; Jennifer Condon, Iowa Central Community College; James Crooks, Shasta College; Jill Dahlman, University of Hawaii; Jamie Danielson, Iowa Central Community College; Tommie Delaney, Columbus State Uni- versity; Susan Denning, Clark College; Larnell Dunkley, Harold Wash- ington College; Denise Engler, American River College; Jessica Far- rington, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University; Jan Geyer, Hudson Valley Community College; Ebony Gibson, Clayton State University; Jessica Gordon, Virginia Commonwealth University; Tarez Samra Graban, Florida State University; Gwendolyn Harold, Clayton State University; Vicki Hendricks, Broward College, South Campus; Judy Hevener, Blue Ridge Community College and Stuarts Draft High School; Daniel Hirschhorn, University of Maryland University Col- lege (and Montgomery College); Christian Horlick, Virginia Common- wealth University; Barry House, Lincoln Land Community College; Susan Howard, Ivy Tech Community College; Christine Howell, Met- ropolitan Community College–Penn Valley; Kathryn Ingram-Wilson, Laredo Community College; Laura Jones, Atlanta Technical College; Terra Kincaid, El Paso Community College; Lola King, Trinity Valley Community College; Guy Krueger, University of Mississippi; Mildred

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xvPreface for instructors

Landrum-Hesser, Towson University; Denise Marchionda, Middlesex Community College; Gail Marxhausens, Lone Star College CyFair; John McKinnis, Buffalo State College; Kristopher Mecholsky, Univer- sity of Maryland University College; Terence Meehan, Northern Vir- ginia Community College; Ashley Moorshead, Community College of Aurora; Joseph Nagy, University of California, Los Angeles; Luis Naz- ario, Pueblo Community College; Barbra Nightingale, Broward Col- lege; Shevaun Donelli O’Connell, Buffalo State College; Gary Olson, Bellevue College; MaryGrace Paden, John Tyler Community Col- lege; Jessica Parker, Metroplitan State University Denver; Michelle Paulsen, The Victoria College; Philip Peloquin, Ohio Christian Uni- versity; Neil Plakcy, Broward College; Holland Prior, Azusa Pacific University; Maria Ramos, J. Sargeant Reynolds Community College; Rolando Regino, Moreno Valley College; Joanna Richter, Laredo Com- munity College; Cortney Robbins, Indiana Tech; Sundi Rose-Holt, Columbus State University; Jay Ruzesky, Vancouver Island Univer- sity; Donna Samet, Broward College; Andrea Laurencell Sheridan, SUNY Orange; Elizabeth Siler, Washington State University; Col- leen Soares, University of Hawaii Leeward Community College; Neil Starr, Nova Southeastern University; Debra Stevens, Las Positats Col- lege; Patrick Tompkins, John Tyler Community College; David Wood, Northern Michigan University; Pam Wright, University of California, San Diego.

Contributors

I am grateful to the following individuals, fellow teachers of writing, for their smart revisions of important content: Kimberli Huster, ESL spe- cialist at Robert Morris University, updated Resources for Multilingual Writers and ESL and wrote new material on paraphrasing sources for the Multilingual section of the handbook; and Sara McCurry, professor of English at Shasta College, revised both Teaching with Hacker Hand- books and Strategies for Online Learners.

Students

Including sample student writing in each edition of the handbook makes the resource useful for you and your students. I would like to thank the following students who have let us adapt their papers as models: Ned Bishop, Sophie Harba, Sam Jacobs, Luisa Mirano, Michelle Nguyen, Emilia Sanchez, and Ren Yoshida.

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xvi Preface for instructors

Bedford/St. Martin’s

A comprehensive handbook is a collaborative writing project, and it is my pleasure to acknowledge and thank the enormously talented Bedford/ St. Martin’s editorial team, whose deep commitment to stu- dents informs each new feature of A Writer’s Reference. Joan Feinberg, director of digital composition and Diana Hacker’s first editor, helped shape the identity of this flagship handbook. Denise Wydra, former vice president for the humanities; Leasa Burton, publisher for composition; and Karen Henry, editorial director for English, have helped guide us with their insights about how the college handbook market is changing and how we can continue to meet the needs of the college writer in the digital age.

Michelle Clark, executive editor, is an author’s dream — a treasured friend and colleague and an endless source of creativity and clarity. Michelle combines wisdom with patience, imagination with practical- ity, and hard work with good cheer. Barbara Flanagan, senior editor, has worked on the Hacker handbooks for more than twenty-five years and brings attention to detail, keen insights, and unrivaled expertise in documentation and media. Mara Weible, senior editor, brings to the eighth edition her teacher’s sensibility and superb editorial judgment. Thanks to Kylie Paul, associate editor, for assistance with art and per- missions, for managing the review process, and for developing several ancillaries, and to editorial assistants Amanda Legee and Stephanie Thomas, who helped with video content and with our student research project. Many thanks to Rosemary Jaffe, senior production editor, for keeping us on schedule and for producing both the print pages and the e-Pages with unparalleled skill and care. And I am grateful to the media team — Harriet Wald, Rebecca Merrill, Marissa Zanetti, Kim- berly Hampton, and Allison Hart — for imagining and producing engag- ing media for the writing course. Insight from Bedford colleagues Jane Helms, Jimmy Fleming, and Nick Carbone, who, like me, spend many, many hours on the road and in faculty offices, is always treasured. Thanks to Linda McLatchie, copy editor, for her thoroughness and attention to detail; to Claire Seng-Niemoeller, text designer, who crafted another open and beautifully designed edition of the book; to Donna Dennison, art director, who has given the book a strikingly beautiful cover; and to Billy Boardman, design manager, for extending the cover design to our many versions.

Last, but never least, I offer thanks to my own students who, over many years, have shaped my teaching and helped me understand their challenges in becoming college writers. Thanks to my friends and col- leagues Suzanne Lane, Maxine Rodburg, Laura Saltz, and Kerry Walk

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xviiPreface for instructors

for sustaining conversations about the teaching of writing. And thanks to my family: to Joshua Alper, an attentive reader of life and literature, for his steadfastness across the drafts; to my parents, Walter and Louise Sommers, and my aunt Elsie Adler, who encouraged me to write and set me forth on a career of writing and teaching; to my extended family, Sam, Kate, Ron, Charles Mary, Devin, Demian, Liz, and Alexander, for their good humor and good cheer; and to Rachel and Curran, Alexan- dra and Brian, witty and wise beyond measure, always generous with their instruction and inspiration in all things that matter. And to Lailah Dragonfly, my granddaughter, thanks for the joy and sweetness you bring to life.

Nancy Sommers

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C Composing

and Revising

C

Com posing and Revising

C Composing and Revising C1 Planning, 3

a Assessing the writing situation, 3

b Exploring your subject, 4 c Drafting and revising a working

thesis statement, 9 d Drafting a plan, 13

C2 Drafting, 15 a Drafting an introduction, 15 b Drafting the body, 17 c Drafting a conclusion, 20 d Managing your files, 21

C3 Reviewing, revising, and editing, 22

a Developing strategies for revising with comments, 22

b Approaching global revision in cycles, 28

c Revising and editing sentences, 30

d Proofreading the final manuscript, 31

e Student writing: Literacy narrative, 32

Writing guide: Literacy narrative, 37

C4 Preparing a portfolio; reflecting on your writing, 38

a Understanding the benefits of reflection, 38

b Student writing: Reflective letter for a portfolio, 39

Writing guide: Reflective letter, 42

C5 Writing paragraphs, 43 a Focusing on a main point, 43 b Developing the main point, 45 c Choosing a suitable pattern

of organization, 46 d Making paragraphs coherent, 51 e Adjusting paragraph length, 56

C6 Document design: A gallery of models, 57

MLA essay format, 59 MLA works cited page, 60 APA title page, 61 APA abstract, 62 APA essay format, 63 APA list of references, 63 Business report with a visual, 64 Business letter, 65 Résumé, 66 Professional memo, 67 E-mail message, 68

C

1 –

6 8

3Assessing the writing situation C1-a

Writing is a process of figuring out what you think, not a matter of recording already developed thoughts. Since it’s not possible to think about everything all at once, you will find the process more manageable if you handle a piece of writing in stages. You will generally move from planning to drafting to revising, but as your ideas develop, you will find yourself circling back and returning to earlier stages.

C1 Planning C1-a Assess the writing situation. Begin by taking a look at your writing situation. Consider your subject, your purpose, your audience, available sources of information, and any assignment requirements such as genre, length, document design, and deadlines (see the checklist on p. 5). It is likely that you will make final decisions about all of these matters later in the writing process — after a first draft, for example — but you will become a more effective writer if you think about as many of them as possible in advance.

Purpose

In many writing situations, part of your challenge will be determining your purpose, or your reason, for writing. The wording of an assignment may suggest its purpose. If no guidelines are given, you may need to ask yourself, “Why am I communicating with my readers?” or “What do I want to accomplish?” College writers most often write for the following purposes:

to inform to analyze to explain to synthesize to summarize to propose to persuade to call readers to action to evaluate to change attitudes

Audience

Analyzing your audience can often help you determine how to accom- plish your purpose — how much detail or explanation to provide, what kind of tone and language to use, and what potential objections to address. The choices you make as you write will tell readers who you think they are (novices or experts, for example) and will show respect for your readers’ values and perspectives. The checklist on page 5 includes questions that will help you analyze your audience and develop an effective strategy for reaching your readers.

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref C1 Planning > Exercises: C1–3

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4 C1-b Planning

NOTE: When you write e-mail messages to instructors, classmates, or potential employers, respect your reader by using a concise, meaning- ful subject line; keeping paragraphs brief and focused; proofreading for careless errors; and paying attention to your tone. Don’t write some- thing that you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying directly to your reader. Finally, avoid forwarding another person’s message without permission.

Genre

Pay close attention to the genre, or type of writing assigned. Each genre is a category of writing meant for a specific purpose and audience — an essay in a writing class, a lab report in a biology class, a policy memo in a criminal justice class, or a case study for an education class. Some- times the genre is yours to choose, and you need to decide if a particular genre — a poster presentation, an audio essay, a Web page, or a podcast, for example — will help you communicate your purpose and reach readers.

Academic English What counts as good writing varies from culture to culture. In some situations, you will need to become familiar with the writing styles — such as direct or indirect, personal or impersonal, plain or embellished — that are valued by the culture or discipline for which you are writing.

C1-b Experiment with ways to explore your subject. Instead of plunging into a first draft, experiment with one or more tech- niques for exploring your subject and discovering your purpose: talking and listening, reading and annotating texts, asking questions, brainstorm- ing, clustering, freewriting, keeping a journal, blogging. Whatever tech- nique you turn to, the goal is the same: to generate ideas that will lead you to a question, a problem, or a topic that you want to explore further.

Talking and listening

Because writing is a process of figuring out what you think about a sub- ject, it can be useful to try out your ideas on other people. Conversation can deepen and refine your ideas even before you begin to draft. By talking and listening to others, you can also discover what they find

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref C1 Planning > As you write: Thinking like a college writer C1 Planning > As you write: Exploring a subject

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5C1-bExploring your subject

Subject

■ Has the subject been assigned, or are you free to choose your own? ■ Why is your subject worth writing about? What questions would you

like to explore? How might readers benefit from reading about it? ■ Do you need to narrow your subject to a more specific topic (because

of length restrictions, for instance)?

Purpose and audience

■ Why are you writing: To inform readers? To persuade them? To call them to action? Some combination of these?

■ Who are your readers? How well informed are they about the subject? ■ Will your readers resist any of your ideas? What possible objections

will you need to anticipate and counter?

Genre

■ What genre — type of writing — does your assignment require: A report? A proposal? An analysis of data? An essay?

■ If the genre is not assigned, what genre is appropriate for your subject, purpose, and audience?

■ Does the genre require a specific design format or method of organization?

Sources of information

■ Where will your information come from: Reading? Research? Direct observation? Interviews? Questionnaires?

■ What type of evidence suits your subject, purpose, audience, and genre? ■ What documentation style is required: MLA? APA? CMS (Chicago)?

Length and document design

■ Do you have length specifications? If not, what length seems appropriate, given your subject, purpose, audience, and genre?

■ Is a particular format required? If so, do you have guidelines or examples to consult?

■ How might visuals — graphs, tables, images — help you convey information?

Reviewers and deadlines

■ Who will be reviewing your draft in progress: Your instructor? A writing tutor? Your classmates?

■ What are your deadlines? How much time will you need for the various stages of writing, including proofreading and printing or posting the final draft?

Checklist for assessing the writing situation

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6 C1-b Planning

interesting, what they are curious about, and where they disagree with you. If you are planning to develop an argument, you can try it out on listeners with other points of view.

Many writers begin a writing project by debating a point with friends or chatting with an instructor. Others prefer to record them- selves talking through their own thoughts. Some writers exchange ideas by sending e-mails or texts or by posting to a blog. You may be encouraged to share ideas with your classmates in an online workshop, where you can begin to refine your thoughts before starting a draft.

Reading and annotating texts

Reading is an important way to deepen your understanding of a topic, learn from the insights and research of others, and expand your perspective. Annotating a text, written or visual, encourages you to read actively — to highlight key concepts, to note possible con- tradictions in an argument, or to raise ques- tions for further research and investigation. As you annotate, you record your impressions and begin a conversation with a text and its author. See A1-a for a student’s annotations on an assigned article.

Asking questions

When gathering material for a story, journalists routinely ask them- selves Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How? These questions help journalists get started and ensure that they will not overlook an important fact.

Whenever you are writing about ideas, events, or people, asking questions is one way to get started. One student, whose topic was the negative reaction in 1915 to D. W. Griffith’s silent film The Birth of a Nation, began exploring her topic with this set of questions:

Who objected to the film?

What were the objections?

When were the protests first voiced?

Where were protests most strongly expressed?

Why did protesters object to the film?

How did protesters make their views known?

If you are writing in a particular discipline, try to find out which questions its scholars typically explore. Look for clues in assigned read- ings and class discussions to understand how a discipline’s questions help you grasp its concerns and conventions.

MORE hELP iN yOuR hANdbOOk

Read critically and take notes before you write.

▶ Guidelines for active reading: A2-a

▶ Taking notes: R2-c ▶ Analyzing texts: A1-d

MORE hELP iN yOuR hANdbOOk

Effective college writers begin by asking questions.

▶ Asking questions in academic disciplines: A6-b

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7Exploring your subject C1-b

determining the purpose of the assignment The wording of an assignment may suggest its purpose. You might be expected to do one of the following in a college writing assignment:

■ summarize information from books, lectures, or research (See A1-c.) ■ analyze ideas and concepts (See A1-d.) ■ take a position and defend it with evidence (See A4.) ■ synthesize (combine ideas from) several sources and create an

original argument (See MLA-3c and APA-3c.)

understanding how to answer an assignment’s questions Many assignments will ask you to answer a how or why question. You cannot answer such questions using only facts; instead, you will need to take a position. For example, the question “What are the survival rates for leukemia patients?” can be answered by reporting facts. The question “Why are the survival rates for leukemia patients in one state lower than they are in a neighboring state?” must be answered with both a claim and facts.

If a list of questions appears in the assignment, be careful — instructors rarely expect you to answer all of the questions in order. Look instead for topics or themes that will help you ask your own questions.

Recognizing implied questions When you are asked to discuss, analyze, argue, or consider, your instructor will often expect you to answer a how or why question.

Discuss the effects of the No Child Left Behind Act on special education programs.

= How has the No Child Left Behind Act affected special education programs?

Consider the recent rise of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder diagnoses.

= Why are diagnoses of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder rising?

Recognizing disciplinary expectations When you are asked to write in a specific discipline, pay attention to the genre, or type of writing assigned. Each genre has agreed-upon expectations and disciplinary conventions. Look closely at the key terms of the assignment and know what kinds of evidence and citation style your instructor expects you to use. (See A6.)

Reading an assignment

Brainstorming

Brainstorming is a good way to figure out what you know and what ques- tions you have. You begin by listing ideas in the order in which they occur to you. Listing ideas can help a writer narrow a subject and identify a position. An early list is often a source of ideas and a springboard to new ideas. Writers can come back to their brainstorming notes and rearrange them, delete some, or add others.

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8 C1-b Planning

Freewriting

In its purest form, freewriting is simply nonstop writing. You set aside ten minutes or so and write whatever comes to mind, without pausing to think about word choice, spelling, or even meaning. Free- writing lets you ask questions without feeling you have to answer them. Sometimes a question that comes to mind at this stage will point you in an unexpected and productive direction.

To explore ideas on a particular topic, consider using a technique called focused freewriting. Again, you write quickly and freely, but this time you focus on a specific subject and pay attention to the connections among your ideas.

Keeping a journal

A journal is a collection of informal, exploratory, sometimes experi- mental writing. In a journal, often meant for your eyes only, you can take risks. You might freewrite, pose questions, comment on an interesting

Clustering

Clustering (sometimes called mapping) highlights relationships among ideas. To cluster ideas, write your subject in the center of a sheet of paper, draw a circle around it, and surround the circle with related ideas connected to it with lines. If some of the satellite ideas lead to more specific clusters, write them down as well. The writer of this cluster diagram was exploring ideas for an essay on obesity in children.

obesity in children

health problems later

in life

funding for athletic programs

sleep disorders heart

attacks

diet

TV ads for unhealthy

foods

product placement of

foods in movies, TV shows

exercise genetics

using media instead of

being active

fast foods in school vending

machines

CLuSTER diAGRAM

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9C1-cDrafting and revising a working thesis

idea from one of your classes, or keep a list of questions that occur to you while reading. You might imagine a conversation between your- self and your readers or stage a debate to understand opposing posi- tions. A journal can also serve as a sourcebook of ideas for future essays.

Blogging

Although a blog is a type of journal, it is a public writing space rather than a private one. In a blog, you might express opinions, make observations, recap events, play with language, or interpret an image. You can explore an idea for a paper by writing posts from different angles. Since most blogs have a commenting feature, you can create a conversation by inviting readers to give you feedback — ask questions, pose counterarguments, or suggest other sources on a topic.

C1-c draft and revise a working thesis statement. For many types of writing, you will be able to assert your central idea in a sentence or two. Such a statement, which ordinarily appears in the opening paragraph of your finished essay, is called a thesis.

What makes an effective thesis statement?

A successful thesis statement is a central idea that requires supporting evidence; its scope is appropriate for the assigned length of the essay; and it is focused and specific. A thesis is a promise to readers. It is often one or more of the following:

• your answer to a question you have posed

• the resolution for a problem you have identified

• a statement that announces your position on a debatable topic

Drafting a working thesis

As you explore your topic, you will begin to see possible ways to focus your material. At this point, try to settle on a tentative central idea, or working thesis statement. The more complex your topic, the more your focus may change. As your ideas develop, you’ll need to revisit your working thesis to see if it represents the position you want to take or if it can be supported by the sources of evidence you have accumulated.

You’ll find that the process of answering a question you have posed, resolving a problem you have identified, or taking a position on a debat- able topic will focus your thinking and lead you to develop a working

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref C1 Planning > Exercises: C1–5 to C1–7

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10 C1-c Planning

thesis. Here, for example, are one student’s efforts to pose a question and draft a working thesis for an essay in his ethics course.

QuEstion

Should athletes who enhance their performance through biotechnol- ogy be banned from athletic competition?

Working thEsis

Athletes who boost their performance through biotechnology should be banned from athletic competition.

The working thesis offers a useful place to start writing — a way to limit the topic and focus a first draft — but it doesn’t take into consideration the expectations of readers who will ask “Why?” and “So what?” The student has taken a position — athletes who boost their performance through biotechnology should be banned — but he hasn’t answered why these athletes should be banned. To fully answer his own question and to claim some- thing specific in his thesis, he might push his own thinking with the word because.

strongEr Working thEsis

Athletes who boost their performance through steroids should be banned from competition because biotechnology gives athletes an unfair advantage and disrupts the sense of fair play.

Revising a working thesis

As you move to a clearer and more specific position you want to take, you’ll start to see ways to revise your working thesis. You may find that the evidence you collected supports a different thesis; or you may find that your position has changed as you learned more about your topic.

One effective way to revise a working thesis is to put it to the “So what?” test (see the box on p. 11). Such questions help you keep audi- ence and purpose — and the expectations of your assignment — in mind as you revise.

Using a problem/strategy approach to revise a working thesis

Revising a working thesis is easier if you have a method or an approach. The following problem/strategy approach is an effective way to evaluate and revise a working thesis, especially if you tend to start

MORE hELP iN yOuR hANdbOOk

The thesis statement is central to many types of writing.

▶ Writing about texts: A1 ▶ Constructing

arguments: A4 ▶ Writing research papers:

MLA-1, APA-1, and CMS-1

hackerhandbooks.com/writersref C1 Planning > As you write: Revising a thesis

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11C1-cDrafting and revising a working thesis

Working thEsis

The first polygraph was developed by Dr. John A. Larson in 1921.

ProBLEM The thesis is too factual. A reader could not disagree with it or debate it; no further development of this idea is required.

strAtEgY Enter a debate by posing a question about your topic that has more than one possible answer. For example: Should the polygraph be used by private employers? Your thesis should be your answer to the question.

rEvisED thEsis

Because the polygraph has not been proved reliable, even under controlled conditions, its use by private employers should be banned.

A thesis should be an answer to a question, not a question itself.

Working thEsis

Would John F. Kennedy have continued to escalate the war in Vietnam if he had lived?

ProBLEM The thesis is a question, not an answer to a question.

strAtEgY Take a position on your topic by answering the question you have posed. Your thesis should be your answer to the question.

rEvisED thEsis

Although John F. Kennedy sent the first American troops to Vietnam before he died, an analysis of his foreign policy suggests that he would not have escalated the war had he lived.

out with thesis statements that are too factual, too broad, too narrow, or too vague.

A thesis should require proof or further development through facts and details; it cannot itself be a fact or a description.

Use the following questions to help you revise your working thesis. ■ Why would readers want to read an essay with this thesis? How

would you respond to a reader who hears your thesis and asks “So what?” or “Why does it matter?”

■ Does your thesis answer a question, propose a solution to a problem, or take a position in a debate? Why will readers be interested in your answer, solution, or position?

■ Will any readers disagree with this thesis? If so, what might they say? ■ Is the thesis too obvious? If you cannot come up with interpretations

that oppose your own, consider revising your thesis. ■ Can you support your thesis with the evidence available?

Putting your working thesis to the “So what?” test

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12 C1-c Planning

A thesis should be of sufficient scope for your assignment; it should not be too broad.

Working thEsis

Mapping the human genome has many implications for health and science.

ProBLEM The thesis is too broad. Even in a very long research paper, you would not be able to discuss all the implications of mapping the human genome.

strAtEgY Focus on a subtopic of your original topic. Once you have chosen a subtopic, take a position in an ongoing debate and pose a question that has more than one answer. For example: Should people be tested for genetic diseases? Your thesis should be your answer to the question.

rEvisED thEsis

Although scientists can now detect genetic predisposition for specific diseases, policymakers should establish clear guidelines about whom to test and under what circumstances.

A thesis also should not be too narrow.

Working thEsis

A person who carries a genetic mutation linked to a particular disease might or might not develop that disease.

ProBLEM The thesis is too narrow. It does not suggest any argument or debate about the topic.

strAtEgY Identify challenging questions that readers might ask about your topic. Then pose a question that has more than one answer. For example: Do the risks of genetic testing outweigh its usefulness? Your thesis should be your answer to this question.

rEvisED thEsis

Though positive results in a genetic test do not guarantee that the disease will develop, such results can cause psychological trauma; genetic testing should therefore be avoided if possible.

A thesis should be sharply focused, not too vague. Avoid fuzzy, hard-to-define words such as interesting, good, or disgusting.

Working thEsis

The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is an interesting structure.

ProBLEM This thesis is too fuzzy and unfocused. It’s difficult to define interesting, and the sentence doesn’t give readers any cues about where the essay is going.

strAtEgY Focus your thesis with concrete language and a clear plan. Pose a question about the topic that has more than one answer. For example: How does the physical structure of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial shape the experience of visitors? Your thesis — your answer to the question — should use specific language.

rEvisED thEsis

By inviting visitors to see their own reflections in the wall, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial creates a link between the present and the past.

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13Drafting a plan C1-d

C1-d draft a plan. Once you have drafted a working thesis, listing and organizing your supporting ideas can help you figure out how to flesh out the thesis. Creating outlines, whether formal or informal, can help you make sure your writing is focused and logical and can help you identify any gaps in your support.

When to use an informal outline

You might want to sketch an informal outline to see how you will sup- port your thesis and to figure out a tentative structure for your ideas. Informal outlines can take many forms. Perhaps the most common is simply the thesis followed by a list of major ideas.

Working thesis: Hunger Games heroine Katniss Everdeen evolves from a character

unable to connect meaningfully with others to one who leads and relies on others,

and it is this change that brings about a successful revolution over the Capitol.

• Disconnecting people from one another is part of a government plan to

maintain rule.

• Katniss remains emotionally disconnected from her own mother after her

father’s death.

• Relationships with Rue and Johanna are milestones in Katniss’s emotional

development.

• The Mockingjay movement succeeds not because of Katniss’s charisma, but

because of her ability to stir feelings of hope and connection in the Districts.

If you began by brainstorming a list of ideas, you can turn the list into a rough outline by crossing out some ideas, adding others, and putting the ideas in a logical order.

When to use a formal outline

Early in the writing process, rough outlines have certain advantages: They can be produced quickly, they are obviously tentative, and they can be revised easily. However, a formal outline may be useful later in the writing process, after you have written a rough draft, especially if your topic is complex. It can help you see whether the parts of your essay work together and whether your essay’s structure is logical.

The following formal outline brought order to the research paper that appears in MLA-5b, on regulating unhealthy eating. The student’s thesis is an important part of the outline. Everything else in the outline supports it, directly or indirectly.

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14 PlanningC1-d

ForMAL outLinE

Thesis: In the name of public health and safety, state governments have the responsibility to shape public health policies and to regulate healthy eating choices, especially since doing so offers a potentially large social benefit for a relatively small cost.

I. Debates surrounding food regulation have a long history in the U.S.

A. The 1906 Pure Food and Drug Act guarantees inspection of meat and dairy products.

B. Such regulations are considered reasonable because consumers are protected from harm with little cost.

C. Consumers consider reasonable regulations to be an important government function to stop harmful items from entering the marketplace.

II. Even though food meets safety standards, further regulation is needed.

A. The typical American diet—processed sugars, fats, and refined flours— is damaging over time.

B. Related health problems are diabetes, cancer, and heart problems.

C. Passing chronic-disease-related legislation is our single most important public health challenge.