Working through conflict folger pdf

Working Through Conflict

Now in its eighth edition, Working Through Conflict provides an introduction to conflict and conflict management that is firmly grounded in current theory, research, and practice, covering a range of conflict settings (interpersonal, group, and organizational). The text includes an abundance of real life case studies that encompass a spectrum of theoretical perspectives. Its emphasis on application makes it highly accessible to students, while expanding their comprehension of conflict theory and practical skills. This new edition features a wealth of up-to-date research and case examples, suggested readings and video resources, and integrated questions for review and discussion.

Joseph P. Folger is Professor of Adult & Organizational Development at Temple University. He is co-founder and current president of the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation.

Marshall Scott Poole is the David L. Swanson Professor of Communication, Senior Research Scientist at the National Center for Supercomputing Applications, and Director of I-CHASS: The Institute for Computing in the Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign.

Randall K. Stutman is Managing Partner of CRA, Inc. He is the author of Communication in Legal Advocacy (with Richard D. Rieke, 2008).

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Working Through Conflict

Strategies for Relationships, Groups, and Organizations

Eighth Edition

Joseph P. Folger Marshall Scott Poole Randall K. Stutman

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Eighth edition published 2018 by Routledge 711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017

and by Routledge 2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon, OX14 4RN

Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business

© 2018 Taylor & Francis

The right of Joseph P. Folger, Marshall Scott Poole, and Randall K. Stutman to be identified as authors of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers.

Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe.

First edition published by Pearson Education, Inc. 2001

Seventh edition published by Routledge 2016

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Folger, Joseph P., 1951– author. | Poole, Marshall Scott, 1951– | Stutman, Randall K.,

1957– Title: Working through conflict : strategies for relationships, groups, and organizations /

Joseph P. Folger, Marshall Scott Poole, Randall K. Stutman. Description: 8th edition. | New York, NY : Routledge, 2018. Identifiers: LCCN 2017029114 | ISBN 9781138238954 (hardback) | ISBN 9781138233928 (pbk.) Subjects: LCSH: Social conflict. | Conflict (Psychology) | Conflict management. | Social

interaction. | Interpersonal conflict. Classification: LCC HM1121 .F65 2018 | DDC 303.6—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017029114

ISBN: 978-1-138-23895-4 (hbk) ISBN: 978-1-138-23392-8 (pbk) ISBN: 978-1-315-29629-6 (ebk)

Typeset in ITC Giovanni by Apex CoVantage, LLC

Visit the companion website at www.routledge.com/cw/folger

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https://lccn.loc.gov/2017029114
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To our parents:

Ed and Virginia Ed and Helen Bernie and Marge

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Contents

List of Cases Preface Acknowledgments

Introduction Case I.1A The Women’s Hotline Case Case I.1B The Women’s Hotline Case I.1 Conflict Defined I.2 Arenas for Conflict I.3 Communication Media and Conflict Interaction I.4 Productive and Destructive Conflict Interaction I.5 Judgments About Conflict Outcomes I.6 Plan of the Book I.7 Summary and Review I.8 Activities

Chapter 1  Communication and Conflict 1.1 A Model of Effective Conflict Management

1.1.1 Moving Through Differentiation and Integration 1.1.2 Taking the Middle Path: Moving Toward Integration 1.1.3 Recognizing Destructive Cycles 1.1.4 Tacking Against the Wind

1.2 Properties of Conflict Interaction 1.2.1 Property 1: Conflict Is Constituted and Sustained by Moves and Countermoves During Interaction 1.2.2 Property 2: Patterns of Behavior in Conflicts Tend to Perpetuate Themselves 1.2.3 Property 3: Conflict Interaction Is Influenced by and in Turn Affects Relationships

Exhibit 1.1 Confrontation Episodes Theory 1.2.4 Property 4: Conflict Interaction Is Influenced by Context

Case 1.1 The Columnist’s Brown Bag 1.3 Summary and Review 1.4 Activities 1.5 Conclusion

Chapter 2  The Inner Experience of Conflict

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Case 2.1 The Parking Lot Scuffle 2.1 The Psychodynamic Perspective Exhibit 2.1 Collusion and Intractable Conflict Case 2.2 Psychodynamic Theory and the Parking Lot Scuffle 2.2 Emotion and Conflict Exhibit 2.2 Verbal Aggressiveness Case 2.3 Emotion in the Parking Lot Scuffle 2.3 Social Cognition and Conflict

2.3.1 Social Knowledge About Conflict and Conflict Interaction 2.3.2 Social Cognitive Processes and Conflict

Case 2.4 Social Knowledge About Conflict and the Parking Lot Scuffle Case 2.5 Expectancy Violations and the Parking Lot Scuffle Case 2.6 The Role of Attributions in the Parking Lot Scuffle 2.4 The Interaction of Psychodynamics, Emotion, and Social Cognition in Conflict 2.5 Summary and Review 2.6 Activities 2.7 Conclusion

Chapter 3  Conflict Interaction 3.1 Stages of Conflict

3.1.1 Rummel’s Five-Stage Model 3.1.2 Pondy’s Model 3.1.3 Stage Models of Negotiation 3.1.4 Insights of Stage Models of Conflict

Case 3.1 Stage Models and the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.2 Interdependence Case 3.2 Interdependence and the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.3 Reciprocity and Compensation Exhibit 3.1 Can Conflict Competence Be Assessed? Case 3.3 Reciprocity and Compensation in the Parking Lot Scuffle Exhibit 3.2 The Tit-For-Tat Strategy 3.4 Framing Issues in Conflict Interaction Case 3.4 Issue Framing and the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.5 Social Identity and Intergroup Conflict Case 3.5 Intergroup Conflict Dynamics and the Parking Lot Scuffle Exhibit 3.3 Counteracting the Negative Impacts of Social Identity and Intergroup Conflict 3.6 Summary and Review 3.7 Activities 3.8 Conclusion

Chapter 4  Conflict Styles and Strategic Conflict Interaction 4.1 Origins of Conflict Styles Case 4.1 Conflict Styles in the Parking Lot Scuffle

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4.2 What Is a Conflict Style? 4.3 An Expanded View of Conflict Styles

4.3.1 Competing 4.3.2 Avoiding 4.3.3 Accommodating 4.3.4 Compromising 4.3.5 Collaborating

4.4 Determining the Styles of Others 4.5 Pairings of Conflict Styles 4.6 Shifting Styles During Conflict Episodes Case 4.2 College Roommates 4.7 Selecting Conflict Styles Exhibit 4.1 A Procedure for Selecting Conflict Styles 4.8 Cultural, Gender, and Racial Influences on Conflict Styles

4.8.1 Cultural Influences 4.8.2 Gender Influences 4.8.3 Racial and Ethnic Influences

4.9 Styles and Tactics in Practice Case 4.3 The Would-Be Borrower 4.10 Summary and Review 4.11 Activities 4.12 Conclusion

Chapter 5  Power: The Architecture of Conflict 5.1 Power and the Emergence of Conflict Case 5.1A A Raid on the Student Activity Fees Fund Case 5.1B A Raid on the Student Activity Fees Fund 5.2 A Relational View of Power

5.2.1 Forms of Power Case 5.2 The Amazing Hacker

5.2.2 Social Categorization 5.2.3 The Mystique of Power 5.2.4 Interaction 5.2.5 Legitimacy 5.2.6 Endorsement and Power

5.3 Power and Conflict Interaction Case 5.3 The Creativity Development Committee 5.4 The Use of Power in Conflict Tactics

5.4.1 Threats and Promises 5.4.2 Relational Control 5.4.3 Issue Control

5.5 The Balance of Power in Conflict 5.5.1 The Dilemmas of Strength

Case 5.4 The Copywriters’ Committee Case 5.5 Unbalanced Intimacy

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Case 5.6 Job Resignation at a Social Service Agency 5.5.2 The Dangers of Weakness 5.5.3 Cultural Differences in Values Concerning Power

5.6 Working with Power 5.6.1 Diagnosing the Role of Power in Conflict 5.6.2 Fostering Shared Power in Conflicts 5.6.3 Bolstering the Position of Those Not Typically in Power

5.7 Summary and Review 5.8 Activities 5.9 Conclusion

Chapter 6  Face-Saving 6.1 The Dimensions of Face 6.2 Face-Loss as It Relates to Face-Saving 6.3 A Threat to Flexibility in Conflict Interaction Case 6.1 The Professor’s Decision Case 6.2 The Outspoken Member Case 6.3 The Controversial Team Member 6.4 Conflict Interaction as a Face-Saving Arena 6.5 Face-Saving Frames in Conflict Interaction

6.5.1 Resisting Unjust Intimidation 6.5.2 Refusing to Give on a Position 6.5.3 Suppressing Conflict Issues

6.6 Face-Saving in Other Cultures 6.7 Face-Giving Strategies Exhibit 6.1 Why Do Meteorologists Never Apologize? Exhibit 6.2 Disagreeing Agreeably 6.8 Working with Face-Saving Issues Exhibit 6.3 When Honor Can Kill Case 6.4 The Productivity and Performance Report 6.9 Summary and Review 6.10 Activities 6.11 Conclusion

Chapter 7  Climate and Conflict Interaction 7.1 Climate and Conflict Case 7.1 Riverdale Halfway House

7.1.1 More Precisely Defining Climate 7.1.2 Climate and Conflict Interaction

Exhibit 7.1 Identifying Climates 7.2 Working with Climate Case 7.2 Breakup at the Bakery Exhibit 7.2 Climate and Predicting What Marriages Survive Case 7.3 The Expanding Printing Company 7.3 The Leader’s Impact on Climate

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Case 7.4 The Start-Up 7.4 Summary and Review 7.5 Activities 7.6 Conclusion

Chapter 8  Managing Conflict 8.1 Review of the Normative Model for Conflict Management 8.2 Navigating Differentiation

8.2.1 Framing Problems or Issues 8.2.2 Rethinking How Problems Are Defined

Case 8.1 The Psychological Evaluation Unit 8.2.3 Cultivating a Collaborative Attitude 8.2.4 Moving from Differentiation to Integration

8.3 A Procedure for Managing Conflicts Exhibit 8.1 A Procedure for Moving Through Differentiation and Integration 8.4 Addressing Severe Challenges to Conflict Integration

8.4.1 Challenging Belief Systems That Escalate Conflict Responses 8.4.2 Moving Beyond Deep Transgressions Through Forgiveness

8.5 Dispute Systems: Managing Conflicts Within Organizations Exhibit 8.2 What Type of a Dispute Resolution System Does an Organization Have?

8.5.1 Working with Organizational Dispute Resolution Systems 8.6 Summary and Review 8.7 Activities 8.8 Conclusion

Chapter 9  Third Party Intervention 9.1 Property 1: Conflict Interaction Is Constituted and Sustained by Moves and Countermoves During Interaction

9.1.1 Third Party Mandate 9.1.2 Responsiveness to Emerging Interaction

Case 9.1 Organizational Co-Heads Case 9.2 The Family Conflict Case 9.3 Mediator Pressure and the Intransigent Negotiator 9.2 Property 2: Patterns of Behavior in Conflict Tend to Perpetuate Themselves

9.2.1 Third Parties and Conflict Cycles Case 9.4 Party Process Control Case 9.5 Neighbor Noise Problems

9.2.2 Third Parties and the Overall Shape of Conflict Behavior Exhibit 9.1 Third Parties, Differentiation, and Integration 9.3 Property 3: Conflict Interaction Is Influenced by, and in Turn Affects, Relationships 9.4 Property 4: Conflict Interaction Is Influenced by the Context in Which It Occurs

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9.4.1 Third Party Roles and Ideologies Exhibit 9.2 Transformative Mediation: A Relational Approach to Conflict Intervention

9.4.2 Third Party Roles and Climate Exhibit 9.3 Testing Your Own Ability to Intervene Transformatively 9.5 Summary and Review 9.6 Activities 9.7 Conclusion

References Index

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Cases

I.1A The Women’s Hotline Case I.1B The Women’s Hotline Case 1.1  The Columnist’s Brown Bag 2.1  The Parking Lot Scuffle 2.2  Psychodynamic Theory and the Parking Lot Scuffle 2.3  Emotion in the Parking Lot Scuffle 2.4  Social Knowledge About Conflict and the Parking Lot Scuffle 2.5  Expectancy Violations and the Parking Lot Scuffle 2.6  The Role of Attributions in the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.1  Stage Models and the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.2  Interdependence and the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.3  Reciprocity and Compensation in the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.4  Issue Framing and the Parking Lot Scuffle 3.5  Intergroup Conflict Dynamics and the Parking Lot Scuffle 4.1  Conflict Styles in the Parking Lot Scuffle 4.2  College Roommates 4.3  The Would-Be Borrower 5.1A A Raid on the Student Activity Fees Fund 5.1B A Raid on the Student Activity Fees Fund 5.2  The Amazing Hacker 5.3  The Creativity Development Committee 5.4  The Copywriters’ Committee 5.5  Unbalanced Intimacy 5.6  Job Resignation at a Social Service Agency 6.1  The Professor’s Decision 6.2  The Outspoken Member 6.3  The Controversial Team Member 6.4  The Productivity and Performance Report 7.1  Riverdale Halfway House 7.2  Breakup at the Bakery 7.3  The Expanding Printing Company 7.4  The Start-Up 8.1  The Psychological Evaluation Unit 9.1  Organizational Co-Heads 9.2  The Family Conflict 9.3  Mediator Pressure and the Intransigent Negotiator 9.4  Party Process Control

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9.5  Neighbor Noise Problems

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Preface

The Study of Conflict The main objective of Working Through Conflict is to provide a summary and synthesis of social science research and theory on conflict. It offers students of conflict a review of the core concepts and theoretical frameworks that enhance an understanding of human behavior in a wide range of conflict situations. The research and theory covered in this book reflect the many social science disciplines that have contributed to the study of conflict.

Although it takes an interdisciplinary view of conflict, this book emphasizes understanding conflict as a communication phenomenon. It assumes that conflict is something that people create and shape as they interact with each other. Sometimes conflict interaction is immediate and face-to-face. In other instances, it is played out in a series of moves, actions, and responses that occur over time and in different places. This book highlights the interactive nature of conflict, no matter what form it takes. This focus on communication means that readers gain an appreciation for how mutual influence occurs, how language and message choices shape conflict, and how patterns of behavior and the structure of human discourse create important dimensions of any unfolding conflict.

In addition, Working Through Conflict offers a road map for how theory and research can be used to understand and influence conflict dynamics in everyday life. The field of conflict management is supported by a long history of useful research and theory that forms a basis for a wide variety of conflict management work. This book demonstrates how conflicts across settings can be understood by seeing them through a range of theoretical lenses. It illustrates how students of conflict can begin thinking and acting in ways that can have profound effects on the dynamics of difficult conflicts.

New to This Edition We have revised this eighth edition of Working Through Conflict to reflect new developments in theory and research on conflict and conflict management. We also clarified and expanded certain discussions to make this the most user-friendly edition to date, with special emphasis on applying theory to practical, contemporary topics. Here are the highlights of the changes in this eighth edition:

Updated citations and inclusion of new literature throughout the volume; Suggested activities for each chapter to engage students in exploring the meaning and significance of the ideas discussed in the chapter; A new section on the impact of communication media on conflict and conflict interaction in the Introduction;

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Inclusion of the latest scholarship of the impact of media on conflict throughout the book; Updating of Chapter 4 to include new research on conflict styles and discussion of racial and ethnic impacts on conflict styles; A revised Chapter 5 to streamline and better define how power is produced in interaction and the role this plays in conflict; A new case study has been added to Chapter 5; Discussion of the leader’s role in shaping climate in Chapter 7.

While we capture the most current thinking about the topics covered in this book, we have also retained older references because they point to classic, core work that has served as the foundation for more recent studies. New, contemporary scholarship is important, but we believe that students should also be aware of the field’s conceptual roots as represented in classic conflict literature.

We consider conflicts occurring in a wide range of arenas, from intimate relationships, marriages, and friendships to group, inter-group, organizational, and negotiation settings. This added breadth makes the book suitable as a primary text for courses in conflict and conflict management, as well as a useful supplement to courses that devote substantial attention to conflict or third party work.

The title of this book is an intentional double entendre. Because its major emphasis is on communication patterns people use when attempting to manage conflict, we hope that the book will help people successfully work through difficult conflicts. The book is also built on the assumption that effective work is often promoted by the emergence and productive use of conflict. It is our hope that this book will encourage people to confront their conflicts and to work through them creatively rather than suppressing or superficially “resolving” conflicts.

Developing Theory-Based Intuition It is often said that people who are good at their work have excellent intuition. Usually this means that they instinctively make good decisions and employ effective strategies to create change or accomplish productive objectives. Intuition is often assumed to be innate—it is seen as a gift that some people have. But in most cases effective professional intuition comes from a broad background of knowledge, study, and experience gained over time. Working Through Conflict is written for those who want to develop their intuition about how to react, interact, and intervene in conflict situations. Conflict is usually complex—it is often multilayered, steeped in a history of events, and shaped by diverse perspectives and understandings. As a result, having good intuition about conflict starts by mastering a broad repertoire of ideas— ideas that create different explanations for why conflict interaction moves in destructive or constructive directions.

Working Through Conflict covers a wide range of essential concepts and theories that clarify the practical implications for managing conflicts in relationships, groups, teams, and organizations. It is a primer for those who might want to pursue professional work in the conflict management field as mediators, ombudspersons, facilitators, or conciliators. It can also help build a strong intuition in those who deal with conflict daily in work and professional

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settings and in those who want to have an impact on conflicts in their personal lives within families, romantic relationships, marriages, and friendships.

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Acknowledgments

We thank Ann Bryan and David Roache for assistance and ideas related to this revision. Once again, we owe our greatest debt to our colleagues at the Center for Conflict Resolution in Madison, Wisconsin. We are very grateful to Lonnie Weiss for her insight and help with our analyses. We also thank Syd Bernard, Jim Carrilon, Betsy Densmore, Robert Everett, Jay Herman, Jan Shubert, Rick Sloan, Dennis Smith, Tommy Vines, and Kathy Zoppi for their responses to parts or all of the initial manuscript of the first edition of this book. We also thank Linda Klug, Jean Kebis, and Wayne Beach for supplying the transcript of interaction in Chapter 6. Subsequent editions were greatly improved by comments from Charley Conrad, Melissa Dobosh, Mistee Freeman, Tricia Jones, Leanne Knobloch, Phoebe Kruger, Kevin Real, Bethany Sills, Cynthia Stohl, Shirley A. Van Hoeven, and Elizabeth Vegso.

We appreciate the feedback reviewers provided for this revision: Stuart Allen, Corey Young, Michael Comos, and Kathy Krone. We also want to express our continued gratitude to reviewers of previous editions, whose wisdom persists still: Wayne Beach, Tom Biesecker, Lori Carrell, Steven Colmbs, Charles R. Conrad, Alice Crume, Robert J. Doolittle, David A. Frank, Dennis Gouran, Bruce Gronbeck, Dale Hample, Thomas Harris, Gary Hartzell, Tricia Jones, Keven E. McCleary, Laura L. Jansma, Sara E. Newell, Linda Putnam, Susan Rice, Gale Richards, Tracy Routsong, Dale L. Shannon, Cynthia Stohl, Michael Sunnafrank, Stella Ting- Toomey, Shirley Van Hoeven, Hal R. Witteman, and Paul Yelsma.

The excellent editorial and production staff at Routledge, Linda Bathgate, Laura Briskman, Nicole Salazar, and Jenny Guildford have greatly assisted with the production of this volume.

Joseph P. Folger Marshall Scott Poole Randall K. Stutman

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Introduction

Conflict offers a mixture of the good, the bad, and the uncertain. On the positive side, conflicts allow us to air important issues; they produce new and creative ideas; they release built-up tensions. Handled properly, conflicts can strengthen relationships; they can help groups and organizations to re-evaluate and clarify goals and missions; and they can also initiate social change to eliminate inequities and injustice. These advantages suggest that conflict is normal and healthy, and they underscore the importance of understanding and handling conflict properly.

But perhaps more familiar is the negative side of conflict. Heated exchanges spiral out of control, resulting in frustration, tension, hard feelings, and, ultimately, more conflict. Low- grade family conflicts, perpetuated through criticism, arguments, nagging, and verbal abuse, not only distance parents from children and spouses from one another but also lower self- esteem and create problems that can follow people throughout their entire lives. Additionally, conflicts are sometimes violent, not only between strangers but also in the workplace and within the family. Sometimes the source of frustration is not being able to get someone else to engage a conflict. If one friend persistently denies that a problem exists or changes the subject when it comes up, the other cannot discuss the things that are bothering her or him, and the friendship suffers. The various negative experiences we all have with conflict are reinforced in the media, where it often seems that the only effective way to solve problems is to shoot somebody.

Conflicts also bring uncertainty. As we will see, the great “unpredictables” in life often arise in interactions we have with others. Conversations, meetings, and conflicts all have in common the fact that they may suddenly move in unexpected directions. Indeed, the uncertainties that arise during conflicts often cause them to move in negative directions.

The twists and turns of the following case—in this instance a conflict in a small office—offer a good illustration of the positive, negative, and uncertain sides of conflict. The conflict in Case 1.1 at the women’s hotline initially exhibits several negative features and might easily move in a destructive direction.

Case Study I.1 A The Women’s Hotline Case

Imagine yourself as a staff member in this organization. How would you react as this conflict unfolded? What is it about this particular conflict that makes it seem difficult to face—let alone solve?

Women’s Hotline is a rape and domestic crisis center in a medium-sized city. The center employed seven full- and part-time workers. The workers, all women, formed a cohesive unit and made all important decisions as a group. There were no formal

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supervisors. The hotline started as a voluntary organization and had grown by capturing local and federal funds. The group remained proud of its roots in a democratic, feminist tradition.

The atmosphere at the hotline was rather informal. The staff members saw each other as friends, but there was an implicit understanding that people should not have to take responsibility for each other’s cases. Because the hotline’s work was draining, having to handle each other’s worries could create an unbearable strain. This norm encouraged workers to work on their own and keep problems to themselves.

The conflict arose when Diane, a new counselor who had only six months of experience, was involved in a very disturbing incident. One of her clients was killed by a man who had previously raped her. Diane had trouble dealing with this incident. She felt guilty about it; she questioned her own ability and asked herself whether she might have been able to prevent this tragedy. In the months following, Diane had increasing difficulty in coping with her feelings and began to feel that her co-workers were not giving her the support she needed. Diane had no supervisor to turn to, and, although her friends outside the hotline were helpful, she did not believe they could understand the pressure as well as her co-workers could.

Since the murder, Diane had not been able to work to full capacity, and she began to notice some resentment from the other counselors. She felt the other staff members were more concerned about whether she was adding to their workloads than whether she was recovering from the traumatic incident. Although Diane did not realize it at the time, most of the staff members felt she had been slow to take on responsibilities even before her client was killed. They thought Diane had generally asked for more help than other staff members and that these requests were adding to their own responsibilities. No one was willing to tell Diane about these feelings after the incident because they realized she was very disturbed. After six months, Diane believed she could no longer continue to work effectively. She felt pressure from the others at the center, and she was still shaken by the tragedy. She requested two weeks off with pay to get away from the work situation for a while, to reduce the stress she felt, and to come back with renewed energy. The staff, feeling that Diane was slacking off, denied this request. They responded by outlining, in writing, what they saw as the responsibilities of a full-time staff worker. Diane was angry when she realized her request had been denied, and she decided to file a formal work grievance.

Diane and the staff felt bad about having to resort to such a formal, adversarial procedure. No staff member had ever filed a work grievance, and the group was embarrassed by its inability to deal with the problem on a more informal basis. These feelings created additional tension between Diane and the staff.

Discussion Questions

Can you foresee any benefits to this conflict? Is it possible to foresee whether a conflict will move in a constructive or destructive direction? What clues would lead you to believe that this conflict is going to be productive?

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Several elements of this case suggest a move in a negative direction. First, the situation at the hotline was tense and threatening. This was a difficult time for the workers. Even for “old hands” at negotiation, conflicts are often unpleasant and frightening. Second, the parties experienced a great deal of uncertainty. They were unable to understand what was going on and how their behavior affected the conflict. Conflicts are confusing; actions can have consequences quite different from what is intended because the situation is more complicated than we had assumed. Diane did not know her co-workers thought she was slacking even before the tragedy. When she asked for time off she was surprised at their refusal, and her angry reaction nearly started a major battle. Third, the situation was fragile. A conflict may evolve in very different ways depending on the behavior of just a single worker. If, for example, the staff chose to fire Diane, the conflict may have been squelched, or it may fester and undermine relationships among the remaining staff. If, on the other hand, Diane won allies, the others might split over the issue and ultimately dissolve the hotline. As the case continues, observe staff members’ behavior and their method of dealing with this tense and unfamiliar situation.

Case Study I.1B The Women’s Hotline Case (Continued)

Imagine yourself in the midst of this conflict. What would you recommend this group do to promote a constructive outcome to this conflict?

The committee who received Diane’s grievance suggested that they could handle the problem in a less formal way if both Diane and the staff agreed to accept a neutral, third party mediator. Everyone agreed that this suggestion had promise, and a third party was invited to a meeting where the entire staff could address the issue.

At this meeting, the group faced a difficult task. Each member offered reactions they had been previously unwilling to express. The staff made several pointed criticisms of Diane’s overall performance. Diane expressed doubts about the staff’s willingness to help new workers or to give support when it was requested. Although this discussion was often tense, it was well directed. At the outset of the meeting, Diane withdrew her formal complaint. This action changed the definition of the problem from the immediate work grievance to the question of what levels of support were required for various people to work effectively in this difficult and emotionally draining setting.

Staff members shared doubts and fears about their own inadequacies as counselors and agreed that something less than perfection was acceptable. The group recognized that a collective inertia had developed and that they had consistently avoided giving others the support needed to deal with difficult rape cases. They acknowledged, however, the constraints on each woman’s time; each worker could handle only a limited amount of stress. The group recognized that some level of mutual support was essential and felt that they had fallen below an acceptable level over the past year and a half. One member suggested that any staff person should be able to ask for a “debriefing contract” whenever he or she felt in need of help or support. These contracts would allow someone to ask for

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ten minutes of another person’s time to hear about a particularly disturbing issue or case. The group adopted this suggestion because they saw that it could allow members to

seek help without overburdening one other. The person who was asked to listen could assist and give needed support without feeling that she had to “fix” another worker’s problem. Diane continued to work at the center and found that her abilities and confidence increased as the group provided the support she needed.

Discussion Questions

In what ways did the parties in this conflict show “good faith”? Is “good faith” participation a necessary prerequisite to constructive conflict resolution?

This is a textbook case in effective conflict management because it led to a solution that all parties accepted. The members of this group walked a tightrope throughout the conflict, yet they managed to avoid a fall. The tension, unpleasantness, uncertainty, and fragility of conflict situations makes them hard to face. Because these problems make it difficult to deal with issues constructively and creatively, conflicts are often terminated by force, by uncomfortable suppression of issues, or simply by exhaustion after a prolonged fight—all outcomes that leave at least one party dissatisfied. Engaging a conflict is often like making a bet against the odds: you can win big if it turns out well, but so many things can go wrong that many are unwilling to chance it.

The key to working through conflict is not to minimize its disadvantages, or even to emphasize its positive functions, but to accept both and to try to understand how conflicts move in destructive or productive directions. This calls for a careful analysis of both the specific behaviors and the interaction patterns involved in conflict and the forces that influence these patterns.

This chapter introduces you to conflict as an interaction system. We first define conflict and then introduce the four arenas for interpersonal conflict that this book explores. Following this, we discuss an important reference point—the distinction between productive and destructive conflict interaction—and the behavioral cycles that move conflict in positive and negative directions. Finally, we lay out the plan of this book, which is written to examine the key dynamics of conflict interaction and the forces that influence them.

I.1 Conflict Defined Conflict is the interaction of interdependent parties who perceive incompatibility and the possibility of interference from others as a result of this incompatibility. Several features of this definition warrant further discussion.

The most important feature of conflict is that it is a type of human interaction. Conflicts are constituted and sustained by the behaviors of the parties involved and their reactions to one another, particularly verbal and nonverbal communication. Conflict interaction takes many

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forms, and each form presents special problems and requires special handling. The most familiar type of conflict interaction is marked by shouting matches or open competition in which each party tries to defeat the other. But conflicts can also be more subtle. People may react to conflict by suppressing it. A husband and wife may communicate in ways that allow them to avoid confrontation, either because they are afraid the conflict may damage a fragile relationship or because they convince themselves that the issue “isn’t worth fighting over.” This response is as much a part of the conflict process as fights and shouting matches. This book deals with the whole range of responses to conflict and how those responses affect the development of conflicts.

People in conflict perceive that there is some existing incompatibility with others and that this incompatibility may prompt others to interfere with their own desires, goals, personal comforts, or communication preferences. The key word here is perceive. Regardless of whether incompatibility actually exists, if the parties believe incompatibility exists then conditions are ripe for conflict. Whether one employee really stands in the way of a co-worker’s promotion, or if the co-worker interprets the employee’s behavior as interfering with his promotion, then a conflict is likely to ensue. Communication is important because it is the key to shaping and maintaining the perceptions that guide conflict behavior.

Communication problems can be an important source of incompatibility. You may have experienced times when you got into a disagreement with someone else, only to realize it was due to a misunderstanding rather than a real conflict of interest. However, although communication problems may contribute to conflicts, most conflicts cannot be reduced to communication. Rather, real conflicts of interest underlie most serious conflicts.

Conflict interaction is influenced by the interdependence of the parties. Interdependence determines parties’ incentives in the conflict. There is an incentive to cooperate when parties perceive that gains by one will promote gains by the other or losses for one party will result in corresponding losses for the other. There is an incentive to compete when parties believe that one’s gain will be the other’s loss. Resentment of Diane built up among the other workers at the hotline because they felt that if she got what she needed—time off—it would result in more work and pressure for them. This set up a competitive situation that resulted in conflict escalation. However, purely competitive (or cooperative) situations rarely occur. In most real situations there is a mixture of incentives to cooperate and to compete. The other staff members at the hotline wanted to maintain a cordial atmosphere, and several liked Diane. This compensated, to some degree, for their resentment of Diane and set the stage for a successful third party intervention.