You can soften the blow of the bad news in refusing a typical request or claim by

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Sending Positive Written Messages Outside Your Organization

Most of the workplace messages you write will probably be positive. That is, they will deal with routine matters that require straightforward answers using the direct method. As communication channels continue to evolve, you will be using both electronic and paper-based channels to send positive, routine messages. Chapter 5 discussed electronic messages and memos dealing primarily with internal commu- nication. This chapter focuses on positive external messages. The principal channel for external messages is business letters.

Understanding the Power of Business Letters Letters are a primary channel of communication for delivering messages outside an organization. Positive, straightforward letters help organizations conduct everyday business and convey goodwill to outsiders. Such letters go to suppli- ers, government agencies, other businesses, and, most important, customers. The letters to customers receive a high priority because these messages encourage product feedback, project a favorable image of the organization, and promote future business.

Even with the new media available today, a letter remains one of the most pow- erful and effective ways to get your message across. Although e-mail is incredibly successful for both internal and external communication, many important messages

Positive Messages

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The principal channel for delivering messages outside an organization is business letters.

still call for letters. Business letters are necessary when (a) a permanent record is required; (b) confidentiality is paramount; (c) formality and sensitivity are essential; and (d) a persuasive, well-considered presentation is important.

Business Letters Produce a Permanent Record. Many business transactions require a permanent record. Business letters fulfill this function. For example, when a company enters into an agreement with another company, busi- ness letters introduce the agreement and record decisions and points of understand- ing. Although telephone conversations and e-mail messages may be exchanged, important details are generally recorded in business letters that are kept in company files. Business letters deliver contracts, explain terms, exchange ideas, negotiate agreements, answer vendor questions, and maintain customer relations. Business letters are important for any business transaction that requires a permanent written record.

Business Letters Can Be Confidential. Carefree use of e-mail was once a sign of sophistication. Today, however, communicators know how danger- ous it is to entrust confidential and sensitive information to digital channels. A writer in The New York Times recognized the unique value of letters when he said, “Despite the sneering term snail mail, plain old letters are the form of long-distance communication least likely to be intercepted, misdirected, forwarded, retrieved, or otherwise inspected by someone you didn’t have in mind.”1

Business Letters Convey Formality and Sensitivity. Business letters presented on company stationery carry a sense of formality and importance not possible with e-mail. They look important. They carry a nonverbal message saying the writer considered the message to be so significant and the receiver so prestigious that the writer cared enough to write a real message. Business letters deliver more information than e-mail because they are written on stationery that usually is printed with company information such as logos, addresses, titles, and contact details.

Business Letters Deliver Persuasive, Well-Considered Messages. When a business communicator must be persuasive and can’t do it in person, a business letter is more effective than other communication channels. Letters

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When the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) sends letters emblazoned with the agency’s official

insignia and addressed “Dear Taxpayer,” people get nervous. One IRS notice issued to millions

of Americans, however, delivered positive news: “We are pleased to inform you that the United

States Congress passed the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008, which provides for economic stimulus payments to be made to over 130 million American

households.” The body of the letter instructed qualifying taxpayers to file an annual tax return to receive the one-time cash payout. Why does

the IRS use letters in today’s digital age?

Business letters are important for messages that require a permanent record, confi dentiality, formality, sensitivity, and a well- considered presentation.

OFFICE INSIDER

can persuade people to change their actions, adopt new beliefs, make donations, contribute their time, and try new products. Direct-mail letters remain a powerful tool to promote services and products, boost online and retail traffic, and solicit contributions. Business letters represent deliberate communication. They give you a chance to think through what you want to say, organize your thoughts, and write a well-considered argument. You will learn more about writing persuasive and market- ing messages in Chapter 8.

Direct Requests for Information or Action

The majority of your business letters will involve routine messages organized directly. Before you write any letter, though, consider its costs in terms of your time and workload. Whenever possible, don’t write! Instead of asking for information, could you find it yourself? Would a telephone call, e-mail message, instant message, or brief visit to a coworker solve the problem quickly? If not, use the direct pattern to present your request efficiently.

Many business messages are written to request information or action. Although the specific subjects of inquiries may differ, the similarity of purpose in routine requests enables writers to use the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for an Information or Action Request Ask the most important question first or express a polite

command. Explain the request logically and courteously. Ask other questions if

necessary. Request a specific action with an end date, if appropriate, and

show appreciation.

Open Your Request Directly The most emphatic positions in a letter are the opening and closing. Readers tend to look at them first. The writer, then, should capitalize on this tendency by putting the most significant statement first. The first sentence of an information request is usually a question or a polite command. It should not be an explanation or justifica- tion, unless resistance to the request is expected. When the information requested is likely to be forthcoming, immediately tell the reader what you want. This saves the reader’s time and may ensure that the message is read. A busy executive who skims the mail, quickly reading subject lines and first sentences only, may grasp your request rapidly and act on it. A request that follows a lengthy explanation, on the other hand, may never be found.

A letter inquiring about hotel accommodations, shown in Figure 6.1, begins immediately with the most important idea: Can the hotel provide meeting rooms and accommodations for 250 people? Instead of opening with an explanation of who the writer is or how the writer happens to be writing this letter, the letter begins more directly.

If several questions must be asked, you have two choices. You can ask the most important question first, as shown in Figure 6.1. An alternate opening begins with a summary statement, such as Will you please answer the following questions about providing meeting rooms and accommodations for 250 people from March 20 through March 24. Notice that the summarizing statement sounds like a question but has no question mark. That is because it is really a command disguised as a ques- tion. Rather than bluntly demanding information (Answer the following questions), we often prefer to soften commands by posing them as questions. Such statements,

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When the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) sends letters emblazoned with the agency’s official

insignia and addressed “Dear Taxpayer,” people get nervous. One IRS notice issued to millions

of Americans, however, delivered positive news: “We are pleased to inform you that the United

States Congress passed the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008, which provides for economic stimulus payments to be made to over 130 million American

households.” The body of the letter instructed qualifying taxpayers to file an annual tax return to receive the one-time cash payout. Why does

the IRS use letters in today’s digital age?

Readers fi nd the openings and closings of letters most interesting and often read them fi rst.

Begin an information request letter with the most important question or a summarizing statement.

Because business letters are costly, avoid writing them unless absolutely necessary.

called rhetorical questions, should not be punctuated as questions because they do not require answers.

Put Details in the Body The body of a letter that requests information should provide necessary details. Remember that the quality of the information obtained from a request letter depends on the clarity of the inquiry. If you analyze your needs, organize your ideas, and frame your request logically, you are likely to receive a meaningful answer that doesn’t require a follow-up message. Whenever possible, itemize the information to improve readability. Notice that the questions in Figure 6.1 are bulleted, and they are parallel. That is, they use the same balanced construction.

FIGURE 6.1

The body of a request letter may contain an explanation or a list of questions.

Close With an Action Request Use the final paragraph to ask for specific action, to set an end date if appropriate, and to express appreciation. As you learned in working with e-mail messages and memos, a request for action is most effective when an end date and reason for that date are supplied, as shown in Figure 6.1.

Ending a request letter with appreciation for the action taken is always appro- priate. However, don’t fall into a cliché trap, such as Thanking you in advance, I remain . . . or the familiar Thank you for your cooperation. Your appreciation will sound most sincere if you avoid mechanical, tired expressions.

Direct Claims

In business many things can go wrong—promised shipments are late, warranted goods fail, or service is disappointing. When you as a customer must write to iden- tify or correct a wrong, the letter is called a claim. Straightforward claims are those to which you expect the receiver to agree readily. Even these claims, however, often require a letter. While your first action may be a telephone call or an e-mail mes- sage submitting your claim, you may not get the results you seek. Written claims are often taken more seriously, and they also establish a record of what happened. Claims that require persuasion are presented in Chapter 8. In this chapter you will learn to apply the following writing plan for a straightforward claim that uses a direct approach.

Writing Plan for a Direct Claim Describe clearly the desired action. Explain the nature of the claim, tell why the claim is justified, and

provide details regarding the action requested. End pleasantly with a goodwill statement and include an end date

and action request, if appropriate.

Open Your Claim With a Clear Statement of What You Want If you have a legitimate claim, you can expect a positive response from a company. Smart businesses today want to hear from their customers. They know that retain- ing a customer is far less costly than recruiting a new customer. That is why you should open a claim letter with a clear statement of the problem or with the action you want the receiver to take. You might expect a replacement, a refund, a new order, credit to your account, correction of a billing error, free repairs, free inspec- tion, or cancellation of an order.

When the remedy is obvious, state it immediately (Please send us 24 Sanyo digi- tal travel alarm clocks to replace the Sanyo analog travel alarm clocks sent in error with our order shipped January 8). When the remedy is less obvious, you might ask for a change in policy or procedure or simply for an explanation (Because three of our employees with confirmed reservations were refused rooms September 16 in your hotel, would you please clarify your policy regarding reservations and late arrivals).

Explain and Justify Your Claim in the Body In the body of a claim letter, explain the problem and justify your request. Provide the necessary details so that the difficulty can be corrected without further corre- spondence. Avoid becoming angry or trying to fix blame. Bear in mind that the person reading your letter is seldom responsible for the problem. Instead, state the facts logically, objectively, and unemotionally; let the reader decide on the causes.

The ending of a request letter should tell the reader what you want done and when.

Claim letters register complaints and usually seek correction of a wrong.

The direct strategy is best for simple claims that require no persuasion.

Providing details without getting angry improves the effectiveness of a claim letter.

Include copies of all pertinent documents such as invoices, sales slips, catalog descriptions, and repair records. (By the way, be sure to send copies and not your originals, which could be lost.) When service is involved, cite names of individuals spoken to and dates of calls. Assume that a company honestly wants to satisfy its customers—because most do. When an alternative remedy exists, spell it out (If you are unable to send 24 Sanyo digital travel alarm clocks immediately, please credit our account now and notify us when they become available).

Close Your Claim With a Specific Action Request End a claim letter with a courteous statement that promotes goodwill and sum- marizes your action request. If appropriate, include an end date. (We realize that mistakes in ordering and shipping sometimes occur. Because we have enjoyed your prompt service in the past, we hope that you will be able to send us the Sanyo digital travel alarm clocks by January 15.) Finally, in making claims, act promptly. Delaying claims makes them appear less important. Delayed claims are also more difficult to verify. By taking the time to put your claim in writing, you indicate your seriousness. A written claim starts a record of the problem, should later action be necessary. Be sure to keep a copy of your letter.

Put It All Together and Revise After completing your first draft, you are ready to revise as the last step in your writ- ing plan. Figure 6.2 shows a first draft of a hostile claim that vents the writer’s anger but accomplishes little else. Its tone is belligerent, and it assumes that the company intentionally mischarged the customer. Furthermore, it fails to tell the reader how to remedy the problem. The revision follows the three-step writing plan with a clear opening, body, and closing. Notice that the revision tempers the tone, describes the problem objectively, and provides facts and figures. Most important, it specifies exactly what the customer wants done. The letter in Figure 6.2 illustrates personal business style with the return address typed above the date. This style may be used when typing on paper without a printed letterhead.

Direct Replies

Often your messages will reply directly and favorably to requests for information or action. A customer wants information about a product. A supplier asks to arrange a meeting. Another business inquires about one of your procedures or about a former employee. In complying with such requests, you will want to apply the same direct pattern you used in making requests.

Writing Plan for Direct Replies Identify previous correspondence or refer to the main idea. Deliver the most important information first. Arrange information logically, explain and clarify it, provide addi-

tional information if appropriate, and build goodwill. End pleasantly.

A customer reply letter that starts with a subject line, as shown in Figure 6.3 on page 140, helps the reader recognize the topic immediately. Usually appearing one blank line below the salutation, the subject line refers in abbreviated form to previ- ous correspondence and/or summarizes a message (Subject: Your December 1 Letter Inquiring About Our Investigator 360 Program). It often omits articles (a, an, the), is not a complete sentence, and does not end with a period. Knowledgeable business communicators use a subject line to refer to earlier correspondence so that in the first sentence, the most emphatic spot in a letter, they are free to emphasize the main idea.

Written claims submitted promptly are taken more seriously than delayed ones.

Before responding to requests, gather facts, check fi gures, and seek approval if necessary.

Letters responding to requests may open with a subject line to identify the topic immediately.

FIGURE 6.2

Open Directly With Information the Reader Wants In the first sentence of a direct reply letter, deliver the information the reader wants. Avoid wordy, drawn-out openings (I have before me your letter of December 1, in which you request information about . . . ). More forceful and more efficient is an opener that answers the inquiry (Here is the information you wanted about . . .). When agreeing to a request for action, announce the good news promptly (Yes, I will be happy to speak to your business communication class about . . . ).

Arrange Your Information Logically and Make It Readable In the body of your reply, supply explanations and additional information. Because a letter written on company stationery is considered a legally binding contract, be

FIGURE 6.3

Announce the good news promptly.

sure to check facts and figures carefully. If a policy or procedure needs authoriza- tion, seek approval from a supervisor or executive before writing the letter.

When answering a group of questions or providing considerable data, arrange the information logically and make it readable by using lists, tables, headings, boldface, italics, or other graphic devices. When customers or prospective cus- tomers inquire about products or services, your response should do more than merely supply answers. Try to promote your organization and products. Often, companies have particular products and services they want to spotlight. Thus, when a customer writes about one product, provide helpful information that satisfies the inquiry, but consider using the opportunity to introduce another product as well. Be sure to present the promotional material with attention to the “you” view and to reader benefits (You can use our standardized tests to free you from time-consuming employment screening). You will learn more about special techniques for developing marketing and persuasive messages in Chapter 8.

In concluding, make sure you are cordial and personal. Refer to the information provided or to its use. (The enclosed list summarizes our recommendations. We wish you all the best in redesigning your Web site.) If further action is required, describe the procedure and help the reader with specifics (The Small Business Administration publishes a number of helpful booklets. Its Web address is . . .).

Close Pleasantly and Personally To avoid abruptness, include a pleasant closing remark that shows your willing- ness to help the reader. Provide extra information if appropriate. Tailor your remarks to fit this letter and this reader. Because everyone appreciates being rec- ognized as an individual, avoid form-letter closings such as If we may be of further assistance, . . . .

Adjustment Letters

Even the best-run and best-loved businesses occasionally receive claims or com- plaints from consumers. When a company receives a claim and decides to respond favorably, the letter is called an adjustment letter. In these messages, you have three goals:

To rectify the wrong, if one exists To regain the confidence of the customer To promote future business and goodwill

A positive adjustment letter represents good news to the reader. Therefore, use the direct strategy described in the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for Adjustment Letters (optional) Identify the previous correspondence

and refer to the main topic. Grant the request or announce the adjustment

immediately. Provide details about how you are complying with the

request. Try to regain the customer’s confidence. Apologize if appropriate, but don’t admit negligence.

End positively with a forward-looking thought; express confidence in future business relations. Include sales promotion, if appropriate. Avoid referring to unpleasantness.

OFFICE INSIDER

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Reveal the Good News in the Opening Instead of beginning with a review of what went wrong, present the good news imme- diately. When Kimberly Patel responded to the claim of customer Yonkers Digital & Wireless about a missing shipment, her first draft, shown at the top of Figure 6.4, was angry. No wonder. Yonkers Digital apparently had provided the wrong shipping address, and the goods were returned. But once Kimberly and her company decided to send a second shipment and comply with the customer’s claim, she had to give up the anger and strive to retain the goodwill and the business of this customer. The improved version of her letter announces that a new shipment will arrive shortly.

If you decide to comply with a customer’s claim, let the receiver know immedi- ately. Don’t begin your letter with a negative statement (We are very sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your dishwasher). This approach reminds the reader of the problem and may rekindle the heated emotions or unhappy feelings experi- enced when the claim was written. Instead, focus on the good news. The following openings for various letters illustrate how to begin a message with good news.

You’re right! We agree that the warranty on your American Standard Model UC600 dishwasher should be extended for six months.

You will be receiving shortly a new slim Nokia cell phone to replace the one that shattered when dropped recently.

Please take your portable Admiral microwave oven to A-1 Appliance Service, 200 Orange Street, Pasadena, where it will be repaired at no cost to you.

The enclosed check for $325 demonstrates our desire to satisfy our customers and earn their confidence.

In announcing that you will make an adjustment, try to do so without a grudg- ing tone—even if you have reservations about whether the claim is legitimate. Once you decide to comply with the customer’s request, do so happily. Avoid halfhearted or reluctant responses (Although the American Standard dishwasher works well when used properly, we have decided to allow you to take yours to A-1 Appliance Service for repair at our expense).

Explain How You Are Complying in the Body In responding to claims, most organizations sincerely want to correct a wrong. They want to do more than just make the customer happy. They want to stand behind their products and services; they want to do what’s right.

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Airline troubles continue to mount as weary air travelers complain of lost luggage, long delays, canceled flights,

and soaring ticket prices. In one customer-service debacle, major U.S. carriers shut down 3,700 flights in a single month after failing to meet safety inspections

mandated by the Federal Aviation Administration. The grounded flights affected hundreds of thousands

of passengers, underscoring the airline industry’s last-place finish in a Consumer Satisfaction Index survey conducted by the University of Michigan.

What guidelines should airline companies follow when writing adjustment letters to disgruntled customers?

Readers want to learn the good news immediately.

Be enthusiastic, not grudging, when granting a claim.

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Airline troubles continue to mount as weary air travelers complain of lost luggage, long delays, canceled flights,

and soaring ticket prices. In one customer-service debacle, major U.S. carriers shut down 3,700 flights in a single month after failing to meet safety inspections

mandated by the Federal Aviation Administration. The grounded flights affected hundreds of thousands

of passengers, underscoring the airline industry’s last-place finish in a Consumer Satisfaction Index survey conducted by the University of Michigan.

What guidelines should airline companies follow when writing adjustment letters to disgruntled customers?

FIGURE 6.4

In the body of the letter, explain how you are complying with the claim. In all but the most routine claims, you should also seek to regain the confidence of the customer. You might reasonably expect that a customer who has experienced dif- ficulty with a product, with delivery, with billing, or with service has lost faith in your organization. Rebuilding that faith is important for future business.

How to rebuild lost confidence depends on the situation and the claim. If procedures need to be revised, explain what changes will be made. If a product has defective parts, tell how the product is being improved. If service is faulty, describe genuine efforts to improve it. Notice in Figure 6.4 on page 143 that the writer promises to investigate shipping procedures to see whether improvements might prevent future mishaps.

Sometimes the problem is not with the product but with the way it is being used. In other instances customers misunderstand warranties or inadvertently cause delivery and billing mix-ups by supplying incorrect information. Remember that rational and sincere explanations will do much to regain the confidence of unhappy customers.

In your explanation avoid emphasizing negative words such as trouble, regret, misunderstanding, fault, defective, error, inconvenience, and unfortunately. Keep your message positive and upbeat.

Decide Whether to Apologize Whether to apologize is a debatable issue. Some writing experts argue that apolo- gies remind customers of their complaints and are therefore negative. These writers avoid apologies; instead they concentrate on how they are satisfying the customer. Real letters that respond to customers’ claims, however, often include apologies.2 If you feel that your company is at fault and that an apology is an appropriate good- will gesture, by all means include it. Be careful, though, not to admit negligence.

Show Confidence and Helpfulness in the Closing End positively by expressing confidence that the problem has been resolved and that continued business relations will result. You might mention the product in a favorable light, suggest a new product, express your appreciation for the customer’s business, or anticipate future business. It is often appropriate to refer to the desire to be of service and to satisfy customers. Notice how the following closings illustrate a positive, confident tone.

You were most helpful in informing us of this situation and permitting us to correct it. We appreciate your thoughtfulness in writing to us.

Thanks for writing. Your satisfaction is important to us. We hope that this refund check convinces you that service to our customers is our No. 1 priority. Our goals are to earn your confidence and continue to merit that confidence with quality products and excellent service.

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Your Inspiron 1420 HD widescreen laptop will come in handy whether you are working at home or on the road. What’s more, if you desire an even bigger screen, you can upgrade to a 17-inch widescreen notebook for only $150. Take a look at the enclosed booklet detailing the big savings for essential technology on a budget. We value your business and look forward to your future orders.

Although the direct pattern works for many requests and replies, it obviously won’t work for every situation. With more practice and experience, you will be able to alter the pattern and adapt your skills to other communication problems.

Goodwill Messages

Goodwill messages, which include thanks, recognition, and sympathy, seem to intim- idate many communicators. Finding the right words to express feelings is sometimes more difficult than writing ordinary business documents. Writers tend to procrasti- nate when it comes to goodwill messages, or else they send a ready-made card or pick up the telephone. Remember, though, that the personal sentiments of the sender are always more expressive and more meaningful to readers than are printed cards or oral messages. Taking the time to write gives more importance to our well-wishing. Personal notes also provide a record that can be reread, savored, and treasured.

In expressing thanks, recognition, or sympathy, you should always do so promptly. These messages are easier to write when the situation is fresh in your mind, and they mean more to the recipient. Don’t forget that a prompt thank-you note carries the hidden message that you care and that you consider the event to be important. You will learn to write various goodwill messages that deliver thanks, congratulations, praise, and sympathy. Instead of learning writing plans for each of them, we recom- mend that you concentrate on the five Ss. Goodwill messages should be:

Be sure to focus the message solely on the receiver not the sender. Don’t talk about yourself; avoid such comments as I remember when I . . . .

Personalize the message by mentioning specific incidents or character- istics of the receiver. Telling a colleague Great speech is much less effective than Great story about McDonald’s marketing in Moscow. Take care to verify names and other facts.

Let your words show genuine feelings. Rehearse in your mind how you would express the message to the receiver orally. Then transform that conversa- tional language to your written message. Avoid pretentious, formal, or flowery language (It gives me great pleasure to extend felicitations on the occasion of your firm’s twentieth anniversary).

Keep the message fresh and enthusiastic. Avoid canned phrases (Congratulations on your promotion, Good luck in the future). Strive for direct- ness and naturalness, not creative brilliance.

Although goodwill messages can be as long as needed, try to accomplish your purpose in only a few sentences. What is most important is remembering an individual. Such caring does not require documentation or wordiness. Individuals and business organizations often use special note cards or stationery for brief messages.

Expressing Thanks When someone has done you a favor or when an action merits praise, you need to extend thanks or show appreciation. Letters of appreciation may be written to customers for their orders, to hosts and hostesses for their hospitality, to individuals for kindnesses performed, and especially to customers who complain. After all, complainers are actu- ally providing you with “free consulting reports from the field.” Complainers who feel that they were listened to often become the greatest promoters of an organization.

Because the receiver will be pleased to hear from you, you can open directly with the purpose of your message. The letter in Figure 6.5 thanks a speaker who

Messages that express thanks, recognition, and sympathy should be written promptly.

Goodwill messages are most effective when they are selfl ess, specifi c, sincere, spontaneous, and short.

Send letters of thanks to customers, hosts, and individuals who have performed kind acts.

FIGURE 6.5

11Prewriting 2Writing 3Revising Analyze: The purpose of this letter is to express appreciation to a business executive for presenting a talk before professionals.

Anticipate: The reader will be more interested in personalized comments than in general statements showing gratitude.

Adapt: Because the reader will be pleased, use the direct pattern.

Research: Consult notes taken during the talk.

Organize: Open directly by giving the reason for writing. Express enthusiastic and sincere thanks. In the body provide specifics. Refer to facts and highlights in the talk. Supply sufficient detail to support your sincere compliments. Conclude with appreciation. Be warm and friendly.

Compose: Write the first draft.

Revise: Revise for tone and warmth. Use the reader’s name. Include concrete detail but do it concisely. Avoid sounding gushy or phony.

Proofread: Check the spelling of the receiver’s name; verify facts. Check the spelling of persistence, patience, and advice.

Evaluate: Does this letter convey sincere thanks?

addressed a group of marketing professionals. Although such thank-you notes can be quite short, this one is a little longer because the writer wants to lend importance to the receiver’s efforts. Notice that every sentence relates to the receiver and offers enthusiastic praise. By using the receiver’s name along with contractions and positive words, the writer makes the letter sound warm and conversational.

Written notes that show appreciation and express thanks are significant to their receivers. In expressing thanks, you generally write a short note on special note- paper or heavy card stock. The following messages provide models for expressing thanks for a gift, for a favor, and for hospitality.

Thanks, Laura, to you and the other members of the department for honoring me with the elegant Waterford crystal vase at the party celebrating my twentieth anniversary with the company.

The height and shape of the vase are perfect to hold roses and other bouquets from my garden. Each time I fill it, I will remember your thoughtfulness in choosing this lovely gift for me.

I sincerely appreciate your filling in for me last week when I was too ill to attend the planning committee meeting for the spring exhibition.

Without your participation much of my preparatory work would have been lost. It’s comforting to know that competent and generous individuals like you are part of our team, Mark. Moreover, it’s my very good fortune to be able to count you as a friend. I’m grateful to you.

Matt and I want you to know how much we enjoyed the dinner party for our department that you hosted Saturday evening. Your charming home and warm hospitality, along with the lovely dinner and sinfully delicious chocolate dessert, combined to create a truly memorable evening.

Most of all, though, we appreciate your kindness in cultivating togetherness in our department. Thanks, Lisa, for being such a special person.

Responding to Goodwill Messages Should you respond when you receive a congratulatory note or a written pat on the back? By all means! These messages are attempts to connect personally; they are efforts to reach out, to form professional and/or personal bonds. Failing to respond to notes of congratulations and most other goodwill messages is like failing to say “You’re welcome” when someone says “Thank you.” Responding to such messages is simply the right thing to do. Do avoid, though, minimizing your achievements with comments that suggest you don’t really deserve the praise or that the sender is exaggerating your good qualities.

Thanks for your kind words regarding my award, and thanks, too, for sending me the newspaper clipping. I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and warm wishes.

Your note about my work made me feel good. I’m grateful for your thoughtfulness.

Conveying Sympathy Most of us can bear misfortune and grief more easily when we know that others care. Notes expressing sympathy, though, are probably more difficult to write than any other kind of message. Commercial “In sympathy” cards make the task easier—but they are far less meaningful. Grieving friends want to know what you think—not what

Identify the gift, tell why you appreciate it, and explain how you will use it.

Tell what the favor means using sincere, simple statements.

Compliment the fi ne food, charming surroundings, warm hospitality, excellent host and hostess, and good company.

Take the time to respond to any goodwill message you may receive.

Sympathy notes should refer to the misfortune sensitively and offer assistance.

Hallmark’s card writers think. To help you get started, you can always glance through cards expressing sympathy. They will supply ideas about the kinds of thoughts you might wish to convey in your own words. In writing a sympathy note, (a) refer to the death or misfortune sensitively, using words that show you understand what a crushing blow it is; (b) in the case of a death, praise the deceased in a personal way; (c) offer assistance without going into excessive detail; and (d) end on a reassuring, forward-looking note.

We are deeply saddened, Gayle, to learn of the death of your husband. Warren’s kind nature and friendly spirit endeared him to all who knew him. He will be missed.

Although words seem empty in expressing our grief, we want you to know that your friends at QuadCom extend their profound sympathy to you. If we may help you or lighten your load in any way, you have but to call.

We know that the treasured memories of your many happy years together, along with the support of your family and many friends, will provide strength and comfort in the months ahead.

Is E-Mail Appropriate for Goodwill Messages? In expressing thanks or responding to goodwill messages, handwritten notes are most impressive. However, if you frequently communicate with the receiver by e-mail and if you are sure your note will not get lost, then sending an e-mail goodwill message is acceptable, according to the Emily Post Institute.3 To express sympathy immediately after learning of a death or accident, you might precede a phone call or a written condolence message with an e-mail. E-mail is a fast and nonintrusive way to show your feelings. But, advises the Emily Post Institute, immediately follow with a handwritten note. Remember that e-mail messages are quickly gone and forgotten. Handwritten or printed messages remain and can be savored. Your thoughtfulness is more lasting if you take the time to prepare a handwritten or printed message on notepaper or personal stationery.

In condolence notes mention the loss tactfully and recognize the good qualities of the deceased.

Conclude on a positive, reassuring note.

SSSSSumming Up and Looking Forward Although e-mail is becoming an important communication channel for brief messages, business letters are still impor- tant. They are necessary for messages that must produce a permanent record, are confidential, convey formality and sensitivity, and deliver persuasive ideas. In this chapter you learned to write direct letters that request information or action. You also learned to write direct claims, direct replies,

adjustment letters, and a variety of goodwill messages. All of these routine letters use the direct strategy. They open imme- diately with the main idea followed by details and explana- tions. But not all letters will carry good news. Occasionally, you must deny requests and deliver bad news. In the next chapter you will learn to use the indirect strategy in convey- ing negative news.

CCCritical Thinking 1. An article in a professional magazine carried this headline:

“Is Letter Writing Dead?”4 How would you respond to such a question?

2. In promoting the value of letter writing, a well-known colum- nist recently wrote, “To trust confidential information to e-mail is to be a rube.”5 What did he mean? Do you agree?

Chapter Review

6. Under what circumstances is it better for a businessperson to send a letter than to use another communication channel?

7. When should you not write a business letter?

8. What determines whether you write a letter directly or indirectly?

9. What are the two most important positions in a letter?

10. List two ways that you could begin an inquiry letter that asks many questions.

11. What three elements are appropriate in the closing of a request for information?

12. What is a claim letter? Give an original example of a situation that might require a claim letter.

13. What is an adjustment letter, and what three goals does it have?

14. The best goodwill messages include what five characteristics?

15. When is it appropriate to use e-mail to deliver goodwill messages?

Summing Up and Looking Forward

Critical Thinking

3. Which is more effective in claim letters—anger or objec- tivity? Why?

4. Why is it important to regain the confidence of a customer when you respond to a claim letter?

5. Should companies automatically grant adjustments? For example, some customers buy a video camera or a dress for a special event and return the prod- uct afterward. What safeguards could be implemented?

CCChapter Review

Indicate which of the following entries represents an effective direct opening. 16. a. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Marquis Jones, and I am assistant to the director of

Employee Relations at United Anesthesia Associates. We place nurse anesthetists in hospitals. Each year we try to recognize outstanding staff members during Customer Service Week. I understand you provide an Idea Guide and that you sell special recognition gifts. I have a number of questions about them.

b. Please answer the following questions about ideas and gifts to recognize outstanding staff members during our Customer Service Week.

17. a. We have on hand an ample supply of HON 500 Series lateral file cabinets. b. Thank you for your e-mail of June 13 in which you inquired about the availability of HON 500 Series

lateral file cabinets. 18. a. Yes, we do offer “Get Away Today” discount vacations at Disneyland Resorts. b. This will acknowledge receipt of your May 15 inquiry in which you ask about our Disneyland

Resort “Get Away Today” package with discount vacations. 19. a. Your letter of August 2 requesting a refund has been referred to me because Mr. Solano is away

from the office. I am happy to respond to your inquiry requesting a refund of $175. b. Your refund check for $175 is enclosed. 20. a. We sincerely appreciate your recent order for Alpine Touring skis. Here at US Gear Shop, you will

always find a wide range of skis, snowboards, and surfing equipment. b. The Alpine Touring skis you ordered were shipped today by Mountain Express and should reach

you by October 12.

Revise the following openings so that they are more direct. Add information if necessary. 21. Hello! My name is Leeanne Gosbee, and I just saw the terrific Web site for your organization, Green

Living Spaces, which I understand is one of the world’s leading health and wellness companies. I have a number of questions about selling your products and earning commissions. At your Web site I learned about the possibility of gaining affiliate status, which I am definitely interested in, but I still have many questions not answered at your site.

22. Pursuant to your letter of November 19, I am writing in regard to your inquiry about whether we offer our Mediterranean-style patio umbrella in colors. This unique umbrella is a very popular item and receives a number of inquiries. Its 10-foot canopy protects you when the sun is directly overhead, but it also swivels and tilts to virtually any angle for continuous sun protection all day long. It comes in two colors: off-white and forest green.

23. Thank you for your letter inquiring about the possibility of my acting as a speaker at the final semester meeting of your business administration club on May 6. The topic of digital résumés and portfolios interests me and is one on which I think I could impart helpful information to your members. Therefore, I am responding in the affirmative to your kind invitation.

WWWriting Improvement Exercises

Writing Improvement Cases

24. We have just received your letter of January 29 regarding the unfortunate troubles you are having with your Pilgrim DVD player. In your letter you ask whether you may send the flawed DVD player to us for inspection. Although we normally handle all service requests through our local dealers, in your circumstance we are willing to take a look at your unit here at our Atlanta plant. Therefore, please send it to us so that we may determine what’s wrong.

25. Your message of June 18 has been given to me to answer. We regret that you were inconvenienced by receiving an incorrect invoice. We have used NetPost to transmit Visa invoices for eight years, and this is the first time that invoices were sent to the wrong recipients. We take what happened very seriously, and we are changing our procedures to avoid similar errors in the future. We can assure you that the revised invoice you will receive in two days is now correct. You may use your account again.

The following concluding paragraph to a claim letter response suffers from faults in strategy, tone, and emphasis. Revise and improve. 26. Although we do not feel that we are to blame for the delay in delivery of the hardwood floors about

which you complained, we are willing to give you a 10 percent discount on the total cost of this shipment. This should offset your pain caused by the delay of 10 weeks due to the container cargo disruption of all imported goods from China. Your hardwood floors won’t arrive for one more week, and once again, we apologize for the delay. Thank you for your business.

Writing Improvement Exercises

The following letter requests information; however, the first draft suffers from many writing faults.

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Mr. Kyle Gregory, Sales Manager Micro Supplies and Software 830 North Meridian Street Indianapolis, IN 46205

Dear Sir:

Our insurance rates will be increased in the near future due to the fact that we don’t have security devices on our computer equipment. Local suppliers were considered, but at this point in time none had exactly what we wanted. That’s why I am writing to see whether or not you can provide information and recommendations regarding equipment to prevent the pos- sible theft of office computers and printers. In view of the fact that our insurance carrier has set a deadline of April 1, we need fast action.

Our office now has 18 computer workstations along with twelve printers. We need a device that can be used to secure separate computer components to desks or counters. Would you please recommend a device that can secure a workstation consisting of a computer, monitor, and keyboard. We wonder if professionals are needed to install your security devices and to remove them. We are a small company, and we don’t have a staff of maintenance people.

WWWriting Improvement Cases

One problem is whether the devices can be easily removed when we need to move equipment around. We are, of course, very interested in the price of each device. What about quantity discounts, if you offer them.

Until such time as we hear from you, thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

1. List at least five weaknesses of this letter.

2. Outline a writing plan for a direct request.

The following letter conveys a complaint and makes a claim. However, its poor tone and expression may prevent the receiver from getting what he wants.

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Mr. Orion Murillo, Manager Customer Response Center Western Car Rentals 2259 Weatherford Boulevard Dallas, TX 74091

Dear Manager Orion Murillo:

With the exorbitant cost of gasoline today, I am totally frustrated at my experience with Western Car Rentals! I’m ticked off because you can’t seem to decide what to do about fill-ups. Either you provide customers with cars with full gas tanks or you don’t. And if you don’t, you shouldn’t charge them when they return with empty tanks!

In view of the fact that I picked up a car at the Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport on June 23 with an empty tank, I had to fill it immediately. Then I drove it until June 26. When I returned the car to Houston, as previously planned, I naturally let the tank go nearly empty, since that is the way I received the car in Dallas-Ft. Worth.

But your attendant in Houston charged me to fill the tank—$69.43 (premium gasoline at premium prices)! Although I explained to her that I had received it with an empty tank, she kept telling me that company policy required that she charge for a fill-up. My total bill came to $446.50, which, you must agree, is a lot of money for a rental period of only three days. I have the signed rental agreement and a receipt showing that I paid the full amount and that it included $69.43 for a gas fill-up when I returned the car. Those are the true facts! Any correspondence should be directed to the undersigned at Impact Group, 402 North Griffin Street, Dallas, TX 74105.

Inasmuch as my company is a new customer and inasmuch as we had hoped to use your agency for our future car rentals because of your competitive rates, I trust that you will give this matter your prompt attention.

Your unhappy customer,

1. List at least five weaknesses of this letter.

Activities and Cases

2. Outline a writing plan for a claim request.

When a company received an expensive office painting with sags in the canvas, it complained. The seller, Manhattan Galleries, responded with the following adjustment letter. How can it be improved?

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.