Assignment 4: Developing a Thesis
Perspectives on Thesis Basics
Narration and description essays don’t, as a rule, include a formal thesis statement. A narrative is a story. Any good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. And, as we’ve noted, the story may make a point or offer a moral. Meanwhile, an effective descriptive essay provides strong sensory images that enable us to imagine a person, a place, or an event, such as a New Orleans Mardi Gras festival. In a descriptive essay, the “thesis” is the description itself. And you might say the medium is the message.
Other kinds of essays can be seen as falling into specific categories, as suggested by Elyssa Tardiff and Allen Brizee (2013) in their comments on the Purdue Online Writing Lab website (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/545/01/). These authors help us identify analytical, expository, and argumentative papers.
An analytical essay sorts issues and ideas into their component parts. That is, the paper evaluates the various parts and their relationships in order to inform a reading audience. Process, illustration, and cause-and-effect essays can fall into the analytical category if they aim simply to inform an audience, as opposed to expressing and defending a point of view.
An expository, or explanatory, essay explains something to its readers. Examples might include process essays that explain how bills are passed in the U.S. Congress or how bauxite ore is processed to yield aluminum.
An argumentative paper makes a claim about some topic or other and then justifies that claim with facts, research results, or other kinds of evidence. As the authors write, “The claim can be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation” (Tardiff & Brizee, 2013).
Elements of a Strong Thesis Statement
According to the writing tutorial service provided by Indiana University, there are four indicators of a strong thesis statement.
1. A strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand.
2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.
3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.
4. A strong thesis statement is specific.
(Source: Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN. http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/thesis_statement.shtml)
Now consider the sample thesis statements below. Refer to Indiana University’s four guidelines to see why the statements may be either weak or strong. Make an effort to evaluate each statement on your own before checking out the comments.
General Topic: Racial Stereotypes
1. Racism is a great evil that still lingers in American life and must be eliminated.
2. Particularly in urban settings, the negative effects of racial stereotyping are encouraged by social and neighborhood segregation.
General Topic: Child Abuse and Neglect
1. The most effective way to reduce child abuse and neglect in America is through parental education, family counseling, and strengthening communities to reduce social isolation.
2. The most effective way to reduce child abuse and neglect in America is through strengthening communities to reduce social isolation.
General Topic: Interpersonal Communication in the Digital Age
1. The use of cell phones, smart phones, e-mail, and social media has transformed interpersonal relationships for better or for worse.
2. The use of electronic communications, including cell phones, smart phones, e-mail, and social media, has dehumanized social life by reducing the frequency of person-to-person interaction.
General Topic: Effects of Television on Children
1. In this paper, I will discuss the effects of television viewing on school-age children.
2. Evidence that increased time spent watching television reduces children’s academic performance suggests that parents are not doing their job.
Comments
1. Racism is a great evil that still lingers in American life and must be eliminated. The writer expresses a strong sentiment without supporting it, and we have no clue as to how one might eliminate racism. WEAK
2. Particularly in urban settings, the negative effects of racial stereotyping are encouraged by social and neighborhood segregation. The statement meets all the criteria for a good thesis statement. STRONG
3. The most effective way to reduce child abuse and neglect in America is through parental education, family counseling, and strengthening communities to reduce social isolation. The writer specifies not one but three main ideas. WEAK
4. The most effective way to reduce child abuse and neglect in America is through strengthening communities to reduce social isolation.The statement is very likely to evoke discussion by taking a clear stand that’s likely to evoke discussion. Overall, it meets all the criteria for a good thesis statement. STRONG
5. The use of cell phones, smart phones, e-mail, and social media has transformed interpersonal relationships for better or for worse. The writer fails to take a stand, and the phrasing suggests an essay with four main ideas. WEAK
6. The use of electronic communications, including cell phones, smart phones, e-mail, and social media, has dehumanized social life by reducing the frequency of person-to-person interaction. The statement specifies and then elaborates the writer’s definition of “electronic communications.” However, the phrasing remains specific and otherwise meets the criteria for a good thesis statement. STRONG
7. In this paper, I will discuss the effects of television viewing on school-age children. The statement is vague and non-specific and fails to take a stand. WEAK
8. Evidence that increased time spent watching television reduces children’s academic performance suggests that parents are not doing their job. The statement cites evidence that isn’t corroborated, and instead of taking a stand, it makes a pejorative (generalized) suggestion that parents are the cause of their children’s poor academic performances. WEAK
The Thesis Statement in Review
The thesis statement is the most important line in your essay. With that in mind, here are a set of basic guidelines that will reinforce what we’ve already written. A thesis statement does the following:
· It clearly states the narrowed, limited topic or subject of your essay.
· It clearly makes an assertion, provides a focus, and states an opinion regarding your topic; the assertion may be a single word (“frightening,” “challenged,” “childish,” “surpasses”) or a phrase or clause (“an atypical female character,” “a life-changing event,” “shouldn’t be banned”).
· It takes an original—as opposed to trite, common, or well-known—approach to a topic.
· It makes only one assertion.
· It controls the direction of the step-by-step development of your essay.
· It’s stated in only one sentence.
· It appears at the end of the introductory paragraph (generally, within the last two sentences).
Examples (The topic or subject is underlined, and the assertion is in bold print.)
The near-tragic automobile accident resulted in several significant changes in my lifestyle .
Mr. Adkison uses some bizarre teaching techniques to help his students improve their writing.
The movie Cold Mountain deserves to sweep the Academy Awards this year .
My experience as a tutor has benefited me in a number of ways .
When Formulating Your Thesis Statement
DO NOT announce the subject of your essay; such a statement usually doesn’t contain the assertion required for a thesis statement. And thus, DO NOT write the following:
· I am going to write about my high school graduation.
· My thesis will be the skiing trip I took during the Christmas holidays.
· My paper will discuss the differences between jogging and walking as a form of aerobic exercise.
DO NOT make more than one assertion. For example, don’t write statements like these:
· My high school graduation was fun, exciting, and sad.
· My ski trip to the Canadian Rockies provided many wonderful family memories, taught me a lesson about following rules, and allowed me to improve my skiing technique.
· The 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee is the most popular sport utility vehicle on the market and is a better buy than the Ford Explorer.
DO NOT include words or phrases such as “I think,” “I believe,” or “In my opinion.” If you state your thesis properly, the reader will know that the ideas expressed are yours.
DO NOT present a statement of fact as a thesis. A thesis should provoke debate (pro and con) about your thesis. It should be proven with examples, facts, and concrete evidence. Here’s the basic idea: A statement of fact doesn’t have to be proven if it’s normally assumed to be true.
Facts may be used as support for a thesis but shouldn’t make up the thesis. For example, don’t write statements like these:
· Teenagers like to spend time with their friends.
· John F. Kennedy was our first Catholic president.
· The Weather Channel provides up-to-the-minute weather conditions for all major regions of the country.
In writing your thesis, ask yourself, “Can I prove this statement with specific examples, facts, and/or personal experiences?” If you cannot, rethink and revise until you can answer that question with a “Yes.” Meanwhile:
DO NOT write a thesis statement that’s vague or too general. For example, don’t write the following:
· Some people think the drug problem among teens is getting worse.
· Having Friday chat discussions has disadvantages and advantages for both students and faculty. I learned many things about college last semester.
· Professional athletes are admired for the many things they do.
DO NOT make unreasonable and/or unsubstantiated claims, insulting or derogatory remarks, or oversimplified statements. Thus, for example, don’t write the following:
· Sexual misconduct among immature, underage teenagers has increased sharply in recent years.
· Radical animal-rights fanatics have made hunting nearly impossible for serious, law-abiding hunters.
· People who insist on puncturing and piercing every available body part are egocentric masochists.