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Running Head: PARENTING STYLES
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Parenting Styles
Every parent has a way of raising their children and in each case; they believe it is the best. In the past, Amy Chua a Yale professor draws great attention in her strict parenting style, which is foreign and literally different from the western style. Her style, which is highly referred as tiger parenting, is centred in Chinese model of parenting. Her stunning ways of parenting which she enforced to her two daughters have become very famous and have faced a lot of criticism especially in the western countries. One of her main critics is Hanna Rosin, an American prominent writer and editor. Hanna Rosin prefers a more laid back alternative way of bringing up children in response to Amy Chua’s parenting style. Even though both are devoted mothers in their parenting roles, they highly contrast mainly in their attitudes on happiness, self-esteem and success.
Amy Chua’s parenting model is centred on success theme. She argues that parents should engage their kids in tenacious and rigorous exercises full of repetitions until they excel in whatever they do. What Chinese parents understand is that, the fun in parenting only starts when one is good at it (Amy Chua, 2011). This way, Chinese parents spend a great deal of time with their children. They ensure they do a lot of practise in the things they think they are good for them to excel whether it is the piano, math or pitching (Amy Chua, 2011).Chinese parents believe through hard work and more practises, the once not fun activities become fun. Chinese parents never give their children to select what they feel it is good for them. They insist that the children should not play any other instrument other than the Piano and violin regardless of their talent and passion. Academically, Chinese mothers believe their children should be the best students getting straight A’s since academic achievement reflects successful parenting (Amy Chua, 2011).
However, Hanna Rosin takes a very different approach to success According to Rosin, their children do not need more drills and rules but rather need to lighten up and roam free. She insists that children should be allowed to engage in activities that they are best skilled at and are passionate of. Even though army Chua has the diagnosis of American Childhood backward but Rosin argues that American student need the space to lighten up and roam free, while expressing themselves. Equally, he is adamant that parents embrace guiding their children over initiating stringent list of rules and forcing them on their kids (Hanna Rosin, 2011). Rosin, argues that success can be achieved in a more free approach differently from Chua where success is limited to academic and a parent’s choice for her child.
Chua and Rosin differ in their attitude to happiness. According to Chua, the sense of preference and free selection is not in the Chinese framework of parenting. She argues that it is very crucial to override the children’s preferences because children’s are lazy and they will never want to work. In addition, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children. The idea of children free will and happiness does not work for them. She believes that giving complete authority to children brings up resistance and mediocre performance in their tests and recitals
Differently, western parents are concerned with children’s psyches. Rosin would allow her son to engage more in extra curriculum activities and play drums even though he least engages himself in Class activities. This is opposite from Chua who restricted her daughters to play piano and violin only and would never allow her daughters go on play dates. Rosin does not stress happiness to come from success. Furthermore, “happiness is the greatest human quest” (Rosin, 2011). According to American style, parents should wait for children to show some interest in an activity before they force them to it for hours in a day. It is from their interest they will do it and become experts. Rosin, believes that over-emphasis to perfectness might lead to lack of happiness at the end rather than fun as Chua argues.
Another area where Hanna Rosin and Amy Chua differ is their notion and approach to individual self-esteem. The way parents respond to their children in different circumstances contributes a lot to their personal esteem. Chua handles this case in quite unimaginable and not courteous according to the western parents. Chinese parents believe their children owe them everything and they have sacrificed a lot for them. As a result, they insist and expect perfection from their children in all circumstances. Chua says that it is common for Chinese parents to give their children comments like, “Hey fatty lose some weight or call them “garbage” (Chua, 2011).She defends herself by saying that, Chinese parents believe that their children are capable of getting the best. The do these to compel them meet their expectations which are their pride and confirmation of their success as parents.
Differently, Hanna Rosin believes that motivating children gently and persistently is the way to go. Rosin, feels that as a parent, her work is to encourage and motivate them to be good other than criticising them harshly. Unlike Chua who would call her daughters all sorts of names when they got grades she did not expect, Rosin goes a mile to praise and encourage her children. She states that, even when her children give her lopsided, hastily drawn birthday cards she praises them (Rosin, 2011).She believes that, there is no point of calling your child, “lazy or worthless” but instead you should motivate them.
In conclusions, it is evident that both Amy Chua and Hanna Rosin want the best of their children and each believes that their way of parenting is best. However, they represent a very distinct contrast to each other. Amy Chua believes that perfectness and success of a child are the most important achievements of a successful parent and they will build a child’s confidence and self-esteem. Oppositely, Hanna Rosin argues for a free and gentle approach to parenting, one that takes into account the interests and skills of a child. She critics the harshness of Chua in parenting which she considers lacking the bit of happiness and real fun.
It is clear that the Chinese and generally the eastern parenting styles are very distinct from the Western styles. Each has a great believe it offers the best for their children and therefore consolidation of the two to get a middle approach to parenting will be important and wise.
References
Chua, A. (2011). Why Chinese Mothers are superior. Retrieved 17 March 2015, from http://online.wsj.com/article SB100011424052748704111504576059713528698754.html
Rosin, H. (2011). Mother Inferior. Retrieved 18 March 2015, from http://http:online//wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703959104576082434187716252