Peer response

Peers' Post:

Specific Purpose:    I will persuade my audience to stop smoking in public places.

Central Idea: Stopping public smoking will not only contribute positively to those suffering from secondhand smoke, but it will benefit the environment and community as well.

INTRODUCTION

1. (Attention Getter) William Faulkner once said, “We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.” While I agree we all have the right to make our own decisions, it shouldn’t come at the expense of others and their health. From smoking on a crowded sidewalk to smoking in the car with your loved ones in the back seat, these decisions are putting everyone’s health at risk.


2. (Reveal Topic) I’m here to persuade you to think about a simple change that will have a massive impact on the health of our community and our loved ones, to stop smoking in public.

• (Credibility Statement) When I was young, my family traveled all over for my brother’s hockey tournaments. We were very close to another family on the team in which I would often travel with. They were heavy smokers and I would constantly be exposed to secondhand smoke on long road trips. I later learned that those road trips would change the way I live, forever. As a result of that constant exposure, I was diagnosed with chronic asthma. As a result, I cannot even walk up a flight of stairs without becoming winded and having to take a break or using one of my multiple inhalers or nebulizers. In addition, I have done a vast amount of research on the effects public smoking has on our environment and our health.

1. (Preview) People who engage in smoking are well-aware of the risk they are taking by exposing themselves to the chemicals found in tobacco products, but do they know how these chemicals affect others surrounding them? If more people were educated on the harmful effects secondhand smoke causes to innocent bystanders, we may be able to prevent the serious long-lasting conditions related to the chemicals in cigarettes and the environmental effects as well.

(TRANSITION:  The Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines secondhand smoke as smoke from tobacco products, such as cigarettes or cigars, which is exhaled by the person smoking and inhaled by another person (CDC, 2018).

BODY

1. (MAIN POINT 1) Secondhand smoke alone kills an estimated 41,000 adults and children each year related to lung cancer, heart disease and other serious health conditions (CDC, 2018).
   
   
   
   1. (SUBPOINT) According to the CDC, secondhand smoke contains over 7,000 chemicals, in which at least 70 are cancer-causing chemicals (CDC, 2018).
      
      
      
      1. (SUB-SUBPOINT) That is 70 chemicals in each puff that are putting bystanders at risk for serious health conditions they otherwise wouldn’t be at risk for.
      
      
      2. (SSP) By making smokers aware of the consequences smoking in public has on the community, we can, hopefully, cut the number of fatalities and health conditions related to secondhand smoke exposure.
      
      
      3. (SP) Secondhand smoke affects all ages. The preventable conditions and effects of secondhand smoke differ between children and adults, but both have long lasting consequences. The CDC states:
      
      
      4. (SSP) Adults can develop heart disease, lung cancer, and can even be at a higher risk of a stroke or heart attack when exposed to secondhand smoke.
      
      
      5. (SSP) . Children are at higher risk of severe and frequent asthma attacks, ear infections, respiratory infections and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) (CDC, 2018).
      
      
      
      
   
   
   
   

TRANSITION: By eliminating the exposure to these chemicals, we will also limit the number of health conditions that need to be treated.

1. (MP 2) Think of it this way, if you are trying to diet and you throw away all of the junk food in your house, you eliminate the chance of gaining weight from fatty foods, correct? Well, if we eliminate the smoke exposure, we eliminate the chance of those chemicals causing conditions that need to be medically treated and therefore, decrease hospital admissions.


2. (SUBPOINT) A study in Germany in 2004 found that after the public smoking ban in New York in 2003, there was a dramatic decrease in hospital admissions related to myocardial infarctions, or heart attacks, totaling 3813 fewer than the year prior.


3. (SUB-SUBPOINT) That is an 8% decrease that is directly related to positive effects of the smoking ban.

TRANSITION: In addition to the positive health effects on the community, there are environmental positives as well.

III.       (MP 3) Stopping public smoking will contribute to the cleanliness and pollution of our environment and public places.

1. (SUBPOINT) According to the World Health Organization (WHO), there is an estimated 766,571 metric tons of cigarette butts per year littered in parks, beaches, streets, and communities (Paula, S.G. et al., 2019, p. 2,7).


2. (SUB-SUBPOINT) Besides the 7,000 toxic chemicals I mentioned before, cigarette butts are made up of almost all non-biodegradable plastics that take years to degrade.


3. (Sub-sub-subpoint) This negatively affects the environment by the toxic chemicals in the plastic sticking around and polluting the air, soils and waste streams


4. (SSSP) If we control tobacco product waste (TPW) by limiting chances of exposure, the environment will benefit greatly.

CONCLUSION

1. All in all, putting a stop to public smoking has many benefits on the health of the public and the well being of the environment.


2. (Summary Statement) By doing this, it will limit the number of people exposed to secondhand smoke and, therefore, positively enhance the health of the public and the community. Secondhand smoke is known to cause serious health conditions such as lung cancer and heart disease in adults and can be fatal to children and the environment.

• (Memorable Closing Statement) I urge you to care about the wellbeing of those surrounding you, and together we can eliminate the ability to smoke in public places. Inform your local city council, write a letter to your state governor, inform those you know who smoke of the effects public smoking has on your community. Taking these steps can limit the number of health conditions and fatalities related to secondhand smoke and promote a healthier environment for everyone in the community.       

In the response post, critique the outline by providing strengths and areas of improvement based on the quality of the following:

• Introduction


• Body w/ transitions


• Conclusion


• Supporting materials – in-text references and APA citations


• Were you persuaded? How was it or was it not effective?


• Other suggestions for improvement


• Any suggestions you have for smoothing out the content.