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Remove plagiarism in the paper. Attached is the turtin report and the draft. If you read my comments on your essay, you will get a good sense of the paper’s issues.

Professors comment
What you submitted was essentially a draft, with track changes visible, red lettering, and entire paragraphs of text crossed out. You must understand that is not an acceptable submission for a final paper.
essay 2 by Gaelle Gouet Submission date: 01-Apr-2020 12:27AM (UTC-0400) Submission ID: 1286761526 File name: 196776_Gaelle_Gouet_essay_2_2354334_1877191407.docx (37.49K) Word count: 2109 Character count: 11121 P/V Vague Sp. Support Sp. Vague Thesis Cap. Error 2 3 Vague WC 4 Citation Needed Weak Transition 5 Weak Transition 6 7 8 Support 9 essay 2 ORIGINALITY REPORT 11 % SIMILARITY INDEX 2% 1% 11% INTERNET SOURCES PUBLICATIONS STUDENT PAPERS PRIMARY SOURCES 1 2 3 9% Submitted to York University Student Paper 1% aidstarone.com Internet Source 1% arts.studenttheses.ub.rug.nl Internet Source Exclude quotes Off Exclude bibliography Off Exclude matches Off essay 2 GRADEMARK REPORT FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS 43 Instructor /100 Gaelle, this paper is a mess. Why did you submit a paper with track changes visible? This is a draft more than a formal paper. That being said, your paper is replete with factual errors, you completely avoid the ancient sources, and you cite the modern sources incorrectly. It is almost impossible to follow your train of thought, especially when the flow of your paper is interrupted by entire paragraphs of crossed-out text. This is not an acceptable submission for an upper year student. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email me. PAGE 1 PAGE 2 QM P/V Passive voice: Passive voice constructions do not tell your reader as much as the corresponding active version would. For instance, in the phrase "it is understood," a reader cannot know who or what is doing the understanding. A more active version requires that you tell your reader who is performing the action: "Students understand." While there are rare occasions when a writer cannot avoid the passive voice, the more informative active version is almost always a better choice. Changing passive constructions to active always makes writing more lively and accessible. QM Vague Unclear: When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to not offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper is always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible, The more detailed evidence you offer, the more reference points your reader will have. Remember that you are communicating your argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader what you mean, not just tell him or her. QM Sp. Spelling error Additional Comment "the gymnasion was..." or "gymnasia were..." QM Support Support Needed: A well-written paper will include strong support for its thesis. Support for your thesis should come from primary (original documents, interviews, and personal experiences) and secondary (information that has been processed or interpreted by someone else) sources. To use your support effectively, you must elaborate upon the information, quotations, and examples taken from your sources and connect them to your thesis.